Short chapter, but there just wasn't anything else I could add. Also, TW, attempted suicide. Enjoy! (Lol, that sounds dark.)
I stood at the edge of the hole. This was the only way. If I did this, no one else would get hurt. I had sneaked out of my house, in the middle of the night. That way, no one would see me. They didn't need to see me. It needed to be this way. I didn't need to hurt more people. And if I stayed, I would do just that. Sure, they might not say that, but what do they know about me? Nothing. No one knew anything about me. And that was good. They didn't need to know anything about me. It would be better this way. That way they wouldn't miss me. They would miss 'me'. The fake persona I put up. If they knew me, the real me, they would hate me. Just another person on the list. At least they didn't know the crimes I've committed. The atrocities I've been part of. I-it would be better this way. For them, and for me. Right?
In that split moment, I paused. Why was I doubting my decision? I knew it would be better this way. I was protecting everyone. No one would find me this way. No one needed to. I think they'll figure it out. I didn't need to tell them. They would just tell me not to. They wouldn't even ask even ask why. And if they had, I wouldn't have told them. I didn't need to. They wouldn't even try to stop me after I did. I-it's better this way. At least I could save the image they had of 'me'. I don't need to ruin that. Why would I ruin something like that? It's not like it would be any better if I ruined that precious image of 'me'. They needed something to hold onto. Even if it was a lie.
A lie. The words echoed in my head. Those two words defined almost my whole life. That's what my life was. A lie. A perfectly planned, carefully-laid-out lie constructed by me. A lie they were convinced was true. A lie I needed them to think was true. There was no other way. The lie was my life, and my life was the lie. At least they knew 'me'. At least they thought I was a good person. At least they didn't know me. At least they didn't hate me. Th-this needed to happen. It just had to.
A sob wracked through me. Before I knew it, tears were flowing freely on my face. Why was I crying? This had to happen. I knew that it did, so why was I crying? Another sob. WHY? JUST WHY? WHY DID I DO THIS? WHY HAD I DONE THEY THINGS I'VE DONE? WHY? WHY DID IT ALL COME TO… this?
I quieted down, my crying silent now. Steeling myself, I prepared myself to do what I knew I had to. The last tear slid down my cheek. I knew that my face was now a pure picture of Determination. I knew I had to do this. I knew there was no other way. I knew that I had to quit stalling. I knew I had to stop my thoughts from circling around and around. I knew I had to stop this now. And with that, I took the step.
That was dark. Buuuuut I enjoy dark things. So yeah. And if anyone who is reading this reads my other stories, updates will be coming soon! Probably today! Yay! Thanks for reading!