How I love him

Date after date, I feel myself stumbling and failing. There is no passion or desire from my side. I long for something that's not acceptable, my Partner. When I'm at a date I just wish to talk about my friend. Women get bored as hell and even get suspicious, I can't go on like this any longer. There are only two options now. The first is go and talk to Illya, the second is ran as far away from it as I can go.

I'm not a coward so I knocked at his door at 8 o'clock. I could hear the tumbling's on his guitar stop. It took him a minute before he popped his head out of the door. He greeted me with a grin, one only Ilya can give. "Hey? Weren't you with Denise?" The blond teased. "I left early." Was my only answer. "Was it that bad?" The Russian asked as he let Napoleon in his apartment. He went straight for a glass and filled it with vodka. "Here my friend, what's the problem?" He handed me the glass while his blue eyes studied me. I watched them slowly, admiring the wonderful colour's of his eyes and feel fascinated about the differences of those two eyes. His left is so fiercely focused on getting details out of me while his right is sadly unfocused, slower but still fighting to see more than it is possible to do. It makes his face absolutely adorable. This is a 100% my partner, so much contradiction in just one tiny man. He can be stubborn as a bitch but still be so forgiving as a saint. I just love him.

"I need your advice Illya." I whispered, didn't dare to look at his face any longer. "On love?" Illya asked. "I think it is unwise to ask advise to a person who never really had any love life." The conversation died for a moment. "Why didn't you actually had an intimate relationship, Tovarisch?" There are plenty who wants to be at your side?"

My friend sighed at that question, he sat down on the sofa and patted the seat next to him. So I sat down. "Napoleon, there is someone I actually fancy but this person is always interested in someone else." I frowned. "That person? I know that person?"

Illya's cheeks coloured a bit. "Uhm, yes. It would be sad if you didn't know him." Napoleon placed his finger over the adorable blonds lips. "It's me you're talking about?" I whispered as I studied his face go crimson. "I came here to tell you the same thing. My past dates… I realised I was at the wrong end. I keep thinking about you."

"Me?" The words died as Napoleon kissed those soft, full lips. Illya moaned softly under that kiss, that man just melts me. His lips are truly the softest I ever touched, his noises made me long for more. I feel his hand wander my back, he's stroking his fingers in little circles.

I released him, watched him being flushed and excited. "Am I welcome in your life?"

Illya's smile warmed me. "You're already in it, Napoleon."