I was living my worst nightmare.

Spending my Field Experience guarding the most frustrating, annoying, and infuriating person I knew. Christian Ozera was sitting across from me with his signature smirk plastered on his face. He claimed not to be pleased with my placement as his Guardian, but he sure seemed to be enjoying annoying the fuck out of me. It's been two weeks since assignments had been given and I was still boiling with anger. I still couldn't believe I hadn't been placed with Lissa. What were they thinking? I already knew the answer to that, clearly they weren't thinking.

"Shouldn't you be paying attention to our surroundings? I really don't want to die." Christian's cocky voice cuts through my mental rambling. I glare fiercely at him and he seems to get a kick out of my annoyance.

"Shut up and let me do my job." I snap at him. We were sitting in the lounge of the feeders waiting for Lissa to finish up. Eddie had been called to Alberta's office because he needed to take a make-up exam, so he had asked me to look out for Lissa and Christian.

"Do you know how to do you job?" Christian doesn't waste any time responding with a snarky comment. "You certainly have me doubting my safety since I have practically died twice now."

His comment made my blood boil and Mason's pale face flashes in front of myself. I was still so angry for allowing myself to be distracted. Now the Guardian's thought I was purposefully putting Christian in danger. Even I wasn't that stupid. Of course, I was angry that I wasn't placed with Lissa, pissed even, but I wouldn't risk all of the progress I've made just because I don't like Christian.

"Would you-" I prepare to bitch him out, but a exasperated voice cuts me off.

"Rose!" I turn my head to see my best friend come out of the feeders looking refreshed and slightly annoyed. "Please stop this you two. I don't think I can listen to you both bicker for six weeks. I can barely handle it when it's just a couple hours." Lissa looks between both of us with her hands on her slim hips. Christian looks guilty and I wish I could make a snide comment about Lissa having him by his balls, but I knew that wouldn't go over well with my best friend. I could feel her exasperation radiating through our bond.

"Sorry Liss." I say. Christian also apologizes and kisses Liss on the cheek. His name is called, and he goes back to visit a feeder. Lissa sits across from me and runs a delicate hand through her platinum hair.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asks staring at me with her piercing jade eyes. I realized this was the first time I had actually been alone with Lissa since we had been given Field Experience assignments. She knew I was angry with my assignment, and she sent me calming waves through the bond. She had tried to make me feel better by saying being with Christian was pretty much the same as being with her, but I didn't like that answer.

"Yeah I'm fine." I say, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back in the uncomfortable waiting room chair. "Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, trying to push the natural sarcasm back.

"You know I've been worried ever since you saw Mason." Something flashes over her pale features and she sighs. A tinge of nervousness flashes through the bond and I could tell she was debating on what to say to me next. "Have you…have you considered taking up Alberta's suggestion and seeing a therapist?"

I stare at you and consider what to say next. I wasn't going to lie: her words hurt. I thought if anyone would believe that I saw Mason, it would be Lissa. The nervousness in the bond grew as the silence turned uncomfortable between us.

"You don't believe me either, do you?" I ask, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. This was one of the many Lissa sighed softly and leaned forward in her chair.

"It's not that I don't believe you, Rose." She says softly, "I believe you, but I also think talking to someone would help you. Maybe seeing Mason is a sign- I don't know." Guilt hits the bond hard and she looks at me with gentle eyes. "I can't help but feel like this is my fault." She says after a long string of silence.

My eyes widen and I stare at my best friend.

"Why on earth would this be your fault, Liss? I'm the one seeing ghosts." I can't help but feel sympathetic toward Lissa. Even though I had been angry a couple minutes ago about her not believing me, all traces of anger were gone.

"I think Spirit is causing these things." She says, wringing her fingers together. "I just don't want you to suffer just because of the bond. So, I figured maybe the therapist could help you. I don't know." I could tell she was frustrated so I smile gently at her and move to sit next to her. She wraps her arms around me, and we embrace for a minute. I bury my face in her platinum hair and inhale the familiar scent of my best friend. It seemed like it had been a long time since it had just been her and I. I think that was part of the reason I was so upset with the placements. I was really looking forward to six weeks with Lissa.

"Woah- what did I miss?" Christian's voice cuts through the silence. I sigh and pull away from Lissa. My eyes sweep the area suddenly paranoid that there were Guardians around, ready to sneak a fake attack on us.

"Nothing." I say, quickly. "Let's go eat dinner, I'm starving."

"Rose, would you mind if we went to my room really quick? I need to take my medicine before going to dinner." Lissa asks softly, taking my hand.

"We'll talk later" The words float through the bond and I give Liss a small smile.

"Yeah, but let's hurry up. I haven't eaten since Lunch." Christian rolls his eyes and mutters a smartass comment while Lissa laughs.

We leave the feeders and start heading toward Lissa's dorm. It was pitch black outside, thanks to Moroi time, but our close to perfect vision allowed for us to see perfectly in the dark. Lissa and Christian were walking ahead of me and I was on high alert. My eyes were darting all around. I refused to fail a third time with the Guardians. I couldn't afford that, and I didn't want to disappoint Dimitri any more than I already had. He could tell me all he wanted that he was just worried, but I had a bad feeling that he was also disappointed. That was something I just couldn't handle.

We were almost to the dorm and Lissa and Christian were laughing about something when I was hit with the familiar nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. My heart rate started to race, and I looked around, taking in our surroundings.

"Lissa. Christian. Stop." My voice was hard, but I kept the volume down, so I didn't scare them too much. They both stopped and turned toward me with concern on their faces. I held a finger to my lips to signal for them to be silent. Fear shot through the bond, but I pushed Lissa's emotions away and focused on the eyes I could feel staring at us. A shadow flew past me and I whirled around at a quick pace.

"Get behind me!" I yell at the Moroi. I saw Christian grab Lissa's hand and pull her to stand behind me. I back up to shield them with my body when I realize that this wasn't a test.

This was real.

It was standing right in front of me. Lissa gasps softly and her fear surges through the bond. Liam Lazur stood in front of me with an evil smile plastered on his face. He was pale, even for a Moroi, and his dull blue eyes were ringed with red.

He was a Strigoi.

"Well well well." His voice sent shivers down my spine as he stalked closer to us. My hand slowly reached into the bag on my shoulder and I wrapped my fingers around the stake Dimitri had given me. The real one, not the fake one given to us for the Field Experience. "I didn't expect my first kill as an Awakened to be….so dramatic." Liam smiled and I saw his fangs unsheathe.

Liam was one of our classmates and had been since we were in Kindergarten. We had grown up with him and that made this all the more shocking. He was a royal Moroi, and to top it all of his father was the Lazur Prince.

"Stay the hell back." I hiss through gritted teeth, Lissa was shaking and I could tell Christian was trying to stay strong for her.

Liam laughs a cold, evil laugh and takes a step closer.

"The Dragomir Princess and her fearless Guardian." His voice reminded me so much of the Strigoi we had encountered in Idaho.

When Mason was killed.

"Is the fearless Rose Hathaway scared?" Liam taunts, amusement clear in his dead eyes. "I never thought I would see the day when you would freeze up, Hathaway. Maybe they were right, you can't be a Guardian." He sneers the word again. "Maybe I can make you my Blood Whore." He springs forward and I copy his actions, Dimitri's rule about not hesitating ringing through my ears.

I feel Liam's cold hands grab my arms and throw me back against a tree. I grunt as pain shoots through my body, but I will myself to keep fighting. My eyes flash toward my Moroi.

"Christian! Lissa! Run to the dorm! Hurry!" I scream as I kick Liam back, my hands grabbing him so he couldn't escape me and go toward the Moroi. My instincts told me he was the only Strigoi around and I had to trust that. I was alone and I didn't have many other options. The Moroi hesitated and I screamed again. "Run!" Lissa and Christian took off. We were so close to the dorm. I knew for a fact there was a Guardian stationed on the first floor. They needed to get there, and I needed to distract Liam long enough.

Christian was dragging Lissa along with me, her fear still surging heavily through the bond. Her fear that I was going to die and leave her might actually become a reality, and she knew that. Liam escapes my grip and tried to dart toward Lissa and Christian. I run after him, adrenaline pumping through my body. For once, I was grateful for the many times Dimitri had made me run during our training session. Liam runs toward them at an alarming speed, but I push myself to run faster and throw myself between the Strigoi and Lissa. I made it just in time to shove Lissa back, out of the reach of the Strigoi. She yells and falls down on the ground. Worry surged through my head, but I pushed it back.

Bruised was better than dead.

Bruised was better than dead.

I grab Liam by the arms and shove him back against the brick wall, struggling to grip my stake again. I went to drive my stake into his heart, but he was so so fast. I was able to drag my stake across his face causing him to roar in pain. Pure anger flashes through his eyes and he shoves me back, so I go flying through the air. He's quick to grab me and shove me back into a tree. I cry out in pain as black spots dance across my vision. He cackles and I see teeth flash as they come toward me.

It takes every ounce of willpower in me to raise my arm and shove the stake through his side. He roared in pain again and let me go. He hissed at me and staggered toward me.

"You bitch! Believe me when I say your death is going to be painful and right after I finish you I'm going to track down my useless excuse of my father and drain the life out of his body." He hisses grabbing me by my neck and squeezing, cutting my oxygen off. I chocked and pried at his fingers trying to unlock them from my neck. My other hand is still gripping the stake in my purse and I slowly lift it out, so I don't alert the Strigoi. I was starting to feel lightheaded Liam laughs another one of his evil laughs and comes at my neck with his teeth again. I move my arms quickly and shove my stake through his chest, piercing his heart after shoving it through again. He lets out a high-pitched screech and lets me go before falling to the ground.

Dead.

My feet hit the ground and black spots dance across my vision. Soon, my knees gave out and I fall to the ground. The last thing I remember before blacking out was a soothing Russian voice and the flash of a familiar duster.

I slowly open my eyes and I'm met with a bright light shining right in my eyes. I groan and turn and try to lift my arm to rub my eyes. Something tugs at my arm when I lift it and I moan softly at the painful tug. My eyes open all the way and I adjust to the bright lights to take in my surroundings.

The hospital.

Damn it.

The smell of disinfectant made me want to gag. There was a tube running from my arm and I had a pounding headache. My whole body ached and felt like I had been thrown against several trees. Which I had.

Red eyes.

Lissa's screams.

Evil laughter.

Liam's face flashes before my eyes and my head pounds harder. I remember shoving the stake through his heart and watching him die right before passing out. My classmate. Someone I had known for practically my entire life. I sit up in my bed suddenly, worry running through my veins as I think about Lissa and Christian. I could only hope they made it to the dorm without being caught by another Strigoi. As sure as I was that Liam was the only one, I still had my doubts.

I tune into the bond and feel Lissa's emotions running through my head. Worry. Fear. Impatience.

She was alive.

"Thank God you're awake." The new voice makes me jump slightly but I relax when I meet the familiar brown eyes of my Russian God.

"Dimitri?" I croak, my eyes widening when I hear my weak and raspy voice. I flinch as I feel scratchy pain come from my throat. Dimitri was standing in the doorway of my hospital room. He was wearing the standard black Guardian uniform and his signature brown duster. He looked just as perfect as he always does.

"Shh, Roza. Don't talk." He says, softly walking toward me and sitting at the chair by my bedside. I smile softly at the sound of my Russian name.

"You gave us quite the scare, Rose." Another voice enters the room and disappointment rushes my body. I just wanted a couple minutes alone with Dimitri. Dr. Olendzki stood at the foot of my bed and studied me from her position. "Guardian Belikov is right, though. You shouldn't talk for a while. Your airway was damaged, and it needs to heal." I nod slowly as a million questions run through my head.

"Do you remember what happened, Rose?" Dimitri asks me, I open my mouth to answer but he shakes his head. "Just shake your head yes or no." I slowly nod my head to answer and pair it with an eye roll.

"You suffered quite a few injuries, Rose. You'll recover just fine, but you need to take it easy for a couple weeks. You have two broken ribs, a concussion, and a bruised airway. From what I understand, you were quite lucky though. A job well done if I do say so myself. Now, I'll be back in a little bit to check on you." Dr. Olendzki left my room leaving me alone with Dimitri.

"Are…they…. okay?" I croak the words out and turn my attention to Dimitri who is still sitting next to me.

"Shhh, Roza. You heard the doctor you shouldn't be talking. They are both just fine. You just need to focus on getting better." My face twists with annoyance at his words and he chuckles. "I know it's going to be hard for you, but I believe in you." My chest swells at the compliment…. well it was sort of a compliment. "I have to get back to work, but listen to what the Doctor says, Rose." Dimitri glances around to make sure no one is watching, and he leans down and kisses my forehead. It was quick and soft, but it made me want to cry. I blamed it on the drugs.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Roza." The words were soft and full of emotion. He meets my eyes and says, "I'm so proud of you." Before sweeping out of the room.

"Rose!" The cry from my best friend was full of relief. She threw her arms around me but was careful due to my still sore body. It has been two days since I woke up in the hospital and I was finally released. Turns out I was asleep for three days before waking up. Dr. Olendzki didn't want me to have visitors in the hospital because she wanted to give my voice a rest.

I wrapped my arms around Lissa and hugged her, ignoring the pain tugging at my ribs. "I'm so glad you're safe." I whisper into her shoulder.

"We're safe because of you." Christian's voice came from behind Lissa and I glanced up. He was standing against the wall of the novice dorm with his hands in his pockets. "I'm really glad you're okay, Rose."

I smile spreads across my face.

"Wow, I never expected to hear those words come from the great Christian Ozera." I pause and pull my arms award from Lissa. "I'm glad you're okay too, Sparky." A flash of a smile brushes his face.

"They wouldn't let me come visit you, Rose. I tried to convince them to come let me heal you, but Guardian Belikov said the doctor ordered no visitors." Lissa was babbling and I laughed, grabbing her arm and squeezing her hand.

"Liss, it's fine. I'm fine now. Please don't feel bad." Lissa doesn't look convinced. Her hand snakes out and presses against my stomach. Before I can stop her, I feel the magic spread through the bond. The warm golden feeling spreads throughout my body. Before I knew it, she was pulling away and the pain in my ribs was gone.

"You shouldn't have done that Liss. I would have healed." I scold her, but I was relieved to feel somewhat normal again. My throat still was sore, but I didn't want Lissa to waste her energy on me, so I kept it to myself.

Something clicked in my head and I eyed Lissa carefully.

"Why were you able to heal me so well? Your meds shouldn't let you do that." Guilt floods through the bond and I sigh. "Liss…" I start, but she cuts me off before I can continue.

"I had to heal you, Rose!" She says, "We saw him throw you against that tree. You would have gone crazy if you wouldn't have been able to continue field experience and train! I promise I will start taking them again, but I had to make sure you were okay first." She says, her jade green eyes pleading for me not to be upset with her.

"I love you, Liss." I tell her, "I'm just really glad you're okay." Lissa launches herself into my arms and we embrace for a couple extra minutes. When we break apart, I notice someone else has joined our reunion. I turn around and flash Eddie a Hathaway smile.

"Any action while I was gone, Castile?" I joke, but Eddie only gives me a small smile.

"I'm so sorry Rose. I should have been there to help you." He says, guilt flashing in his brown eyes. I shake my head and reach over to pat him on the shoulder.

"Don't start with that, Edison." I warn him. "What happened wasn't your fault. You were taking an exam, and no one could have predicted Liam Lazar would go rogue. Clearly someone was still bitter about my lack of interest eighth grade year." Edison chokes back a laugh and Lissa glares at me.

"Rose! This is not joke material." I grin widely at Eddie and shrug my shoulders.

"The Bastard bruised my windpipe. I feel that I have earned the right to joke." Christian looks like he wants to agree with me, but Lissa still shakes her head. She doesn't say anything, and suddenly I am hit with a wave of exhaustion.

"I think I'm going to head up to my room and head to bed. I have to get up early for training tomorrow." I move to hug Liss one more time and nod to Christian and Eddie before heading up to my room.

The next day I managed to make it to my early practice on time. I reminded myself to remind Dimitri not to expect this kind of promptness every day. Dimitri sat on a chair on one side of the gym, his feet propped up on a stool and a western novel perched on his lap. He looked as he always did. Black guardian uniform, brown duster, hair tied back at his neck. Dangerous. Sexy. I stalk toward him with a smirk on my face.

"Miss me, Comrade?"

Dimitri looks up from his novel and shakes his head at me.

"You still need to be resting, Rose. What are you doing here?" He asks

"What are you doing here?" I fire back at him, crossing my arms over my chest and try, and fail, to raise one of my eyebrows. Dimitri obviously catches onto my failure and gives me a rare chuckle. He raises his left eyebrow, mocking me with his cool talent.

"I knew you would try to pull something like this. So, I am here to stop you from going against doctors' orders." Dimitri takes my appearance in as he looks me up and down. If I hadn't just been a Strigoi chew toy, I would say he was checking me out.

"No need to worry about me, Comrade!" I say, pushing as much Rose Hathaway bravado into my words as possible. "Lissa was extra sneaky with the Spirit magic last night when she came to visit me." Dimitri starts shaking his head again, but a small grin still graces his face.

"Oh Roza." He breathes, "Sometimes healing isn't always physical. You just killed one of your classmates. Guardian Petrov was quick to inform me that you have known Liam since you started at St. Vladimir's. That isn't an easy burden to handle." The love of my life's voice was soft, and I knew he was right. I could put on a brave face as much as I wanted, but this kill did hurt.

"I've known Liam Lazar since kindergarten. He asked me to the Equinox dance and tried to ask me to be his girlfriend that night." I was careful to watch Dimitri's feature. Part of me wanted to see if there were any signs of jealousy in his features, but of course they stayed neutral. "He was always a nice guy and I really liked spending time with him, but Lissa's brother, Andre, and I…we liked to flirt, and I was caught up in that. Liam's father was hard on him. He was the Lazar prince and expected Liam to be the perfect definition of a royal Moroi. He never specialized in an element and his father was so hard on him. I remember trying to sneak out of the sight of Guardians before Lissa and I left, and I ran into Prince Lazar yelling at him and calling him a disappointment for not specializing. While I know it's not the right thing to do, I know why he turned himself Strigoi. He wanted to be free of his father, and since he never specialized, he didn't really have anything to lose I guess." Dimitri listened to me talk and didn't interrupt me. I didn't realize I was crying until I stopped speaking. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I realized that I had killed my classmate. I wouldn't consider Liam to have been my friend, but he wasn't supposed to be my enemy.

Strong arms wrap around me and pull me into an equally strong chest. I buried my face in Dimitri's chest and wrapped my arms around his torso. The tears came faster and little sobs came from my body.

"Oh Roza." He whispers, his lips resting ontop of my head.

"I-I-I didn't hesitate D-dimitri." I hiccup, "I followed your lessons."

"I know, Milaya." He whispers against my hair. "I am so proud of you."

I said it after I killed Isaiah and Elena and I will say it now after I had killed Liam.

Killing Strigoi was anything but glorious. I would do anything to protect Lissa, but driving a silver stake through someone's heart who used to be just like Lissa or myself and Dimitri, or an innocent human was just like driving a stake through my body and just missing my heart.

So I continued to stand there and cry in Dimitri's arms, knowing that soon we would have to go our separate ways and act like this had never happened.

Author's Note

I've been working on this one shot for quite some time now and I really like how it turned out! It's been a while since I've thoroughly read the VA books so if I messed up on any of the details please feel free to correct me in the reviews. Obviously, this isn't something that actually took place in Shadow Kiss, but a scene I thought up on my own.

If you have any other ideas for a one shot that you want me to write feel free to let me know. I am also in the process of writing a full-length story and I plan on finishing it before uploading it. Nothing bothers me more than publishing something and never finishing it!

Let me know what you thought of this piece!

All characters and main plot points belong to Richelle Mead. I have no ties to the Vampire Academy series except for being a massive fan.