STAR TREK

"Bonds of Insanity"

A madman entered into the Romulan Senate. He was known as Demetrious. He was a self-made commander. He tried to enter before, but he could not bring with him any weapons.

He spoke, "I need a warbird, the finest ever built."

There was a pause.

Demetrious broke the silence, "You will do this."

"Why, Commander?" the Proconsul answered with all trembling in fear. "We don't respond to the insane."

The commander replied, "You are all up for re-election. If you don't give in, I can always take my case to the people."

Without a response, Demetrious left the chamber in awe of his insanity. It was clear that they had no choice but to give in to his demands. He seemed confident enough, even if they had never seen him before.


It was the Enterprise.

Red alert klaxons sounded so loud that Kirk was forced to roll out of bed. He quickly darted to the bridge.

The Enterprise was doing a simple border patrol. On extreme sensors, they found the worst thing imaginable – it was a warbird firing plasma bolts blindly across the Neutral Zone.

Kirk appeared to say, "What the devil isβ€”"

Uhura turned her head as she had yet to hear such language from him, "Captain?"

It was a violation of treaty that was the obvious act of a madman. Still, it enraged the epic captain for all, "What the hell is he doing?! Is he mad?! He can't just fire at us like that!"

Spock was at his station as the captain gracefully moved towards the front of the bridge, "Spock?!"

McCoy had seen enough. He sedated Kirk with a hypospray. For hours, the Romulan vessel blindly fired in the hopes that a captain was losing his cool on the other side.


Meanwhile, on the Romulan warbird, the mission was successful once power was depleted. The 'commander' had words prepared for the skeleton crew he asked for.

"That is our mission. It is done."

"What now?" one of his crew replied trembling in fear. Due to the nature of their orders, they were clueless.

"We return home and receive our reward," Demetrious began. This confused the crew further.

"Reward?"

"Yes," he continued, "old men who dwell in caves make perfect sense when you don't meet them face to face."

It got weird as he erupted in laughter. Not only was this not funny, they only wasted time and resources. They were sure the act would come with a punishment for each and every one of them.


James Kirk was in a hospital bed on Earth. All of his friends came to visit, "Are you alright, Captain? We brought you some flowers. I hope you like them."

With a perfect smile, he said, "Thank you."

Spock was ready with a joke. He started, "I talked to the doctor. He told me you're not going to make it."

For just a moment, everybody believed this, "You will, of course, assume command, Mister Spock?"

"No, Captain," the Vulcan proudly spoke.

Looking around, the bedridden captain inquired, "Why?"

"I assigned you a new doctor," he said with a funny look on his face.

State-of-the-art medicine cured the intrepid captain. He was out of bed quickly. He always wanted to know what madness felt like. Kirk was back on duty in mere months.

Commander Demetrious returned to the chamber to be punished. After realizing his guilt, the Praetor knew exactly what to do with him – he was put before the people a hero as to be taken away for torture.

The End