Chapter 4

It has been a week since their return from Albuquerque and Gabi was not feeling good.

"Hey Gabster", Chad greeted her in the cafeteria as she came to his table with her tray.

"Hey, where is Troy and Tay ", she asked him as she sat down.

"Tay was checking on her patient and Troy was paged down to the clinic for a consult." He told her while looking at her. "you okay Gab, you look a little queazy"

"Yeah, I think caught flu or something, I have been feeling like throwing up all day." She replied without adding the fact that she had a killer headache the whole day and just wanted to lie down. "Ughh,… I can't eat this food. I am going to lie down and tell T to page me once free" She told him as she went to the on-call room to lie down. Suddenly, she ran to the nearby washroom and threw up everything she had and her head was throbbing as she retched.

"Gabi, are you okay? I saw you ran into the washroom" Taylor said as she gently opened the washroom door and saw Gabi kneeling on the toilet seat.

"oh, you look like shit" she said to her while flushing and getting her some water to drink.

"Thanks" she replied sarcastically while glaring at her. "I think I caught flu, I was working at the clinic yesterday" she said before groaning.

"Are you sure, it's only stomach flu?" Taylor asked her indicating that she might be pregnant.

"I am not pregnant Tay, that's ridiculous" she in the most non-convincing tone. "I mean, I can't be, right?" she was starting to freak out.

"Okay, you stay here and I'll get you a pregnancy test. When was your last period?" she asked her.

"Umm, I don't know, last month or so, maybe 40 days ago," Gabi said remembering.

"Okay, So there is no need to panic, I'll get you a test and we will find out" Tay said calmly because she knew if she freaked out and then Gabi would which would not be good.

As Tay went to the supply room to pick up a test, Troy came in to get some stuff as well.

"Danforth knocked you up already, Tay" he said to her smirking.

"No, it's for a patient and none of your business." She huffed as she was going out Troy called her.

"Have you seen Ella, she told me to page her but she didn't call me back" he was concerned as he knew she was not feeling good.

"Ohh, yeah I saw her, one of the moms went into early labor and she is assisting Dr. Tucker." That was the best excuse she could come up with seeing the situation and then she went back on her way to the washroom.

….

After waiting for 5 minutes after peeing on the stick, they were both anxiously looking at the stick.

"Tay I can't look…..Holy shit this can't be happening to me. I am not ready to marry and I don't know how to manage my residency and a kid. Oh god. " Gabi started panicking really badly, she was sitting on the bathroom floor with her head in her hands.

"There is no need to panic, the test is negative. You are good to go" Tay replied looking at the test as she finally exhaled the breath she was holding in and her face relaxed at that instant.

"Oh, okay, that's good" she said looking at Taylor. "That's really good"

"Not that I'm judging, would it be really that bad if you got pregnant, you and troy seem to be in a great place and if you were pregnant, he would support you and be there for you"

"I…I…Troy may be ready for a kid if that happened but I am not" she said firmly. "I love kids, I mean, I work in peds but I don't think I am ready that too in the middle of my career. I want to work a lot more before thinking about having a family and I want to save a lot more kids before having one of my own." She replied her keeping out the fact that she is terrified of being a mother and fucking up her kid.

"Will you tell Troy about this?" Tay asked leaning on the sink.

"I don't know, it was negative so there is no need to stress him as well" she said

"I was talking about your reaction, I think you should talk to him but rest is your choice" she said her softly.

"Yeah… I'll see but now I'm going to get some fluids in me and rest in the on-call room, can you do my post-ops." Gabi asked her. Taylor nodded and then Gabi went to rest.

….

Finally after 2 hours, Troy found Gabi looking at babies from the mirror. He thought she looked like an angel just standing there.

"Hey, a penny for your thoughts," he said to her softly, standing by her side and kissing her head.

"Hi" she said looking at him and leaning on him with her hands wrapped around him and he hugged her back. "it is just peaceful looking at these babies" she said softly to him.

"Yeah, Chad said you were not feeling good during lunch and you didn't call me back" he asked her. Taylor told Gabi about her run-in with him and she told her the excuse she used.

"I rested so I'm feeling better now, I think it was something bad I ate or the flu. I had been feeling nauseous since yesterday and then I threw up this afternoon." She gave him the details. "I just want to go home and stay in bed all day"

"Today is a slow day, so I will go home with you, I just have to assign my interns on a post-op," he told her.

By 10 at night, they both went home. As Troy and Gabi were having dinner, Gabi suddenly said "I took a pregnancy test today" and then she looked at Troy whose mouth was wide open. "But I'm not pregnant" she clarified to him.

"Oh," he was looking at her unable see that if she was happy with the result or sad. "Are you not satisfied with the result?" he finally said a full sentence and held her hand.

"I don't know" she groaned and put her head in her hands. "I was relieved when the test came out negative and I don't know how to feel about that. I'm not really sure if I want kids" she finally said to him the thing she was dreading the most. "We both are so busy with our work, how will we raise a child in such a situation. We barely have time for each other"

"El I love you no matter what and I don't care if you don't want any children," he said half-heartedly but Gabi knew that he loved children and wanted to have kids of his own. They had talked about marriage but never having children. Troy always assumed that she will be on board with that idea until today. "….and no matter what you say I always have time for you El"

"Troy you love children and I can't hold you back from having that" she said to him teary-eyed. Today had been a whirlwind for her after her scare and all she could think about was Troy and their non-existent future. She was over-thinking that situation but she wanted to clear everything with him.

"You can't say that, okay. You don't get to say that on my behalf, that's my decision to make and I'm not letting you go because you are my future" he to her with a lump in his throat as she tried to distance herself from him.

"I'm going to stay at the hospital tonight and you need to sleep on it and think. You don't have to say anything right now" she went and grabbed her car keys.

"You don't have to go, there is nothing to think about" he half yelled at her as she was picking up her stuff. "You are just over-thinking this and trying to run from me like you always do" he regretted as soon as he said this by the look on her face.

"Really, that's what you think of me?"

"No….. maybe, look I know things may look really confusing right now but you don't have to run from me"

"I'm not running away from you, I'm just giving you some time and space and when have I ever ran away from you"

"When things get difficult your first instinct is to run away and I don't need time or space to know what I want" he finally said it. "It is like the time when we got serious you freaked out one night and called me to break up or like the time when I said 'I love you' and didn't talk to me for the whole day or whenever the topic of marriage comes, you change the topic. I'm living in constant fear that if I take one more step forward, you might take off because you are just scared and afraid that I might leave you when things get difficult just like your mother left you." As soon as he said all that Gabi took off and banged the door.

After taking a deep breath and calming himself so doesn't do more damage than he already did, he went to stop her but she was already in her car and took off when she saw him.