Disclaimer, I don't own Kids Next Door or Spongebob.
Late one night, Father is sitting in his office contemplating. The Delightful Children had been sent to their after failing to capture the Kids Next Door, yet again. Tired of their failure, he seeks outside help and contacts Cree Lincoln, the head of the Teen Ninjaz.
"Father? How can I be of service to you?" Cree asks.
"Cree my dear, I need help figuring something out. How do those pesky Kids Next Door always manage to come out on top? What is it about them that makes them so willing to stand up to us? I wish I could somehow switch lives with one of those brats, just to know what it's like." Father rants.
"Well conveniently enough, me and Chad have just finished building a machine that allows users to switch lives with others just to know what it's like." Cree explains to Father.
"Perfect! I guess it's a good thing both of you escaped decommissioning." Father says.
"Whatever." Cree deadpans.
Sitting in front of the machine, Father scraps himself in and takes control.
"Alright let's see, who's the perfect guinea pig." He scans his options.
Mr. Boss, "No."
Mushi Sanban, "No."
Numbuh 1, "Perfect!"
"See you on the other side, Cree. Watch. Over my Delightful Children." Father hits a button on the machine and disappears.
He finds himself being sucked through a tunnel.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Suddenly he stops screaming and takes a few puffs from his pipe. And then he continues screaming as he movies down the tunnel.
Suddenly, he wakes up at his desk.
"Oh man, what happened last night?" Suddenly he notices something. His voice is that of when he was a kid. He is also in Numbuh 1's room instead of the Delightful Mansion.
"Is it really…" He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a KND ID card. Numbuh 1, a.k.a. Benedict Uno. Sector V, Team Leader.
"I'm… I'm Numbuh 1?" Ben looks into a mirror to confirm this fact, as he has sunglasses on. As well as Numbuh 1's signature red sweater, cargo shorts, and rocket boots. He also sees that he is completely bald.
"Well that's a minor setback. But finally, I have access to all this Kids Next Door activity. I can even steal the Book of KND to learn their secrets." Ben says to himself.
Suddenly an alert goes off on "his" monitor.
"Numbuh 1, calling Numbuh 1. Come in." Ben answers the monitor, it is Numbuh 65.3.
"Hey, Numbuh 65.3? How are you?" Ben says, unsure of how he should respond.
"I'm good, Numbuh 1. I just need you to deliver that mission report from last night." He demands.
"Mission report?" Ben asks.
"Yeah! Numbuh 86 needed that mission report from you approximately 2.397 hours ago! She's getting mad." Numbuh 65.3 snaps.
"Okay I'll get right on it, jeez." Ben hangs up the call and leaves the room.
"Even the Kids Next Door to paperwork? Figured they'd wanna stay clear of THAT." Ben says to himself.
Suddenly he sees Numbuh 3 chasing Numbuh 4 with a Rainbow Monkey.
"No, get away from me!" Numbuh 4 cries out.
"Come on, Numbuh 4. It'll be fun!" Numbuh 3 pleads.
"Hey, what are you two doing?" Ben asks.
"Numbuh 1, could you please help? She's trying to get me to play with her cruddy Rainbow Monkeys." Numbuh 4 complains.
"Rainbow Monkeys. I should have destroyed those pesky things, WHEN I HAD THE…." Ben pauses, realizing he is beginning to rage. Numbuh 3 and 4 look at him very confused. He then calms and collects himself back to normal.
"I mean… I have a special job for you anyway Numbuh 4. I need you to write up that mission report about last night's mission and send it to Numbuh 86." Ben demands.
"You want ME to write a report?" Numbuh 4, confused why his leader would let him do that.
"Don't question me, just do it!" Ben demands.
"Alright, jeez. What's up YOUR butt today?" Numbuh 4 says, walking off to write up the report.
"What about me Numbuh 1? Do you have something for me to do?" Numbuh 3 asks.
"Um.. I don't know, go help Numbuh 2 with his inventions or something." Ben orders.
"Okay." Numbuh 3 skips off.
"Well, now I can go find that book hopefully." Ben says to himself.
As he searches around for the Book of KND, Numbuh 5 walks up to him.
"Hey Numbuh 1, what's up with you today?" Numbuh 5 asks him.
"What do you mean?" Ben asks.
"You got Numbuh 4 waitin' mission reports. Numbuh 3 helpin' build stuff with Numbuh 2. Is you crazy or something?" She asks Ben.
"No, I'm just trying to shake things up a bit today. Want people to try new stuff." Ben replies, with the best lie he can think of.
"Well what do you want ME to do, if you wanna shake things up around here?" Numbuh 5 quips.
He then leads her to the bathroom, with a filthy toilet.
"A clean treehouse is a happy treehouse." Ben quips before leaving an angry Numbuh 5 to clean it.
"Alright now that they're all occupied I can finally…"
He then hears a shrieking voice drawing nearer, it's Lizzie.
"Bennie! Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie!" Lizzie ecstatically yells out!
"Oh, no. I forgot about her." Ben thinks to himself. He then feels Lizzie wrap her arms around him in a bear hug.
"Hi Bennie. Are you ready for our date tonight?" Lizzie asks, using the adorable eye trick. Ben doesn't fall for it, and worms his way out her grip.
"No, I have something more important to do. But here, buy yourself something nice." Ben coldly replies, as he tosses five dollars on the floor.
"Five bucks? You hate me!" Lizzie begins to cry her eyes out, giving Ben a headache.
"Could this get any worse?" He says out loud.
As he says that, a ship comes crashing through the treehouse. Numbuh 86 steps out of the ship, walks up to Ben, and grabs him by the collar.
"You! Do you think you're funny?" Numbuh 86 hisses.
"Sometimes I guess."
"Well Mr. Funnyboy, is this how you get your sick kicks?" She angrily points to a piece of paper in her hand.
"What is just a mission re- OH MY GOODNESS!" As Ben looks closer, he sees that the report is nothing but gibberish and drawings of snakes. "Numbuh 4!"
"I tried to help, Numbuh 1." Ben turns around to see a teary-eyed Numbuh 3. "I really did."
"Oh what now?"
"Numbuh 2 asked me to hand him a Phillips-head screwdriver. And I… I gave him a flat-head! I soiled the name of Kids Next Door! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it!" Numbuh 3 cries out.
"Would you STOP already? Shut up and go back to work!" Ben shouts, to no avail.
"Alright then, Benedict. I'm gonna leave. Maybe I can find a boyfriend who appreciates me." Lizzie snaps.
"Please, make it stop!" As Ben says this, an alarm sounds.
"What, did I say the magic word?" Ben asks.
"No boss. He's back." Numbuh 5 says, with a MUSKET at the ready.
"Who's back?" Suddenly a fiery explosion blows a hole in the side of the treehouse. "What's happening?" Ben grows increasingly worried.
"Everyone, battle stations!" Every operative grabs a weapon, ready to fight. Lizzie however, cowardly runs out of the treehouse.
"What is going in, who is coming?" Ben pleads.
"Some say that he is the Antichrist." Numbuh 2 states.
"Quite possibly even the Devil himself." Numbuh 86 adds on.
"He's the worst villain the Kids Next Door are facing." Numbuh 5 says.
Suddenly a figure flies in carrying around the main room, holding a book. "And he's finally found the Book of KND." The figure lets out a maniacal laugh. As Ben looks closer, he sees that the figure is Nigel Uno, but in this world HE is Father.
"Nigel? What the heck?" When Ben says this, Father Nigel shoots a fireball at him.
"How DARE you speak that name, you little brat! I finally have your book, now I can destroy pesky Kids Next Door!" Father Nigel then lets out another maniacal laugh.
"Hey, Father. Why don't you cool down? Get it? Cool down?" Everyone groans as Numbuh 2 makes a pun.
"Why don't you just TRY to cool me down, fat boy? Father Nigel challenges.
"Oh I'm more than willing." Numbuh 2 then holds up an ice cream cannon and fires a carton of ice cream at Father Nigel, who melts it with a fireball.
"Come on guys, grab a carton." Every operative in the treehouse, save for Ben, hurl ice cream cartons at Father Nigel. Eventually, he is overwhelmed and is too cold to use his fire powers.
"No, it's too cold. Enough. Here, take the book back." Father Nigel throws the book at a confused Ben.
"What is this?" Ben asks, still confused.
"A victory, Numbuh 1. It's a good day when we beat the crud outta HIM." Numbuh 4 quips.
"Well enjoy the victory while you can. Because one day you Kids Next Door will TREMBLE before me." Father Nigel threatens, getting back on his feet.
"You'll never win, Father. So give it up." Numbuh 2 says.
"Oh I will. If that means I have to lead an attack tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day.
And the next day. And the next day." Father Nigel threatens repeatedly as he flies away.
"Hey, there's a phone call for you Numbuh 1." Numbuh 5 hands Ben a phone, it's Father Nigel.
"And the next day. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day…."
"NO! ENOUGH! IT'S NOT WORTH IT!" Ben rips his shirt off, revealing a return to normal button.
"So long everyone." Ben hits the button and disappears.
When he returns to his reality, he is Father once again.
The Delightful Children walk into his office, "Father? Are you feeling alright?" They ask.
Father then gives the five of them a tight bear hug.
"Yes! It's my perfect, lovely Delightful Children."
The Delightful Children stare at him confused, but accept this hug nonetheless.
Hope you all enjoyed this story. My first KND Spongebob story in months. I wanted to use Father for a Plankton story and I thought this one was the best I could think of for now. Happy reading!