*Disclaimer: I own nothing of Gainax, Khara, or the estate of Charles Randolph Grean.*

Key: * ** = three strikes on a drum.

I was walking by the lake one day, all gloomy, mopey and sore,

When I saw a strange, big metal box, just resting on the shore.

I went right over and opened it up, and found in front of my eyes,

That I discovered a * **, much to my surprise.

Yes, I discovered a * **, much to my surprise.

I picked it up and took it home, unsure of what to do.

I never had something like it before, and this was something new.

When Asuka came in and saw my prize, she got a look of fright.

She screamed "You take that * **, and get it outta my sight!"

Yes, screamed "You take that * **, and get it outta my sight!"

I fled the apartment, bauble in-hand, at super-hu-man speed,

since I wouldn't dare to mess with her-nuh-uh, no sir, indeed.

I wound up bumping into Misato, and asked her what she'd think.

But when she saw the * **, she said "I need a drink..."

Yes, when she saw the * **, she said "I need a drink..."

I wandered all around the city until I chanced to meet,

Toji, Kensuke, Rei, and Hikari, on the other side of the street.

I showed it to the four of them; they gasped at what they beheld.

Hikari: "You'd better get rid of that * **, or I'll get you expelled!"

Yes, "You'd better get rid of that * **, or I'll get you expelled!"

I kept on wandering, head hung low, bemoaning my sad fate,

till the alarms went off, alerting us an Angel was at the gate.

The beast stomped up, let out a roar, and then looked down at me...

But when it noticed the * **, it turned around to flee!

Yes, when it noticed the * **, it turned around to flee!

What happened afterwards? Well, no more Angels came around...

NERV was supposed to have a Fifth Child, but he was strangely never found...

I was hailed as a hero; I would've settled for just 'normal kid'...

And...I couldn't get rid of the * **, no matter what I did!

*SIGH* I couldn't get rid of the * **, no matter what I did!

**Author's Note(s)**

Like the original song, whatever the thing is...Nobody knows. 'Eye of the beholder' and all that...(As long as it's a three-syllable phrase.)