~ Artistic Nudes ~

"First of all, you're a hypocrite."

Not really what what Anderson wanted to hear when he'd been dragged out of a dead sleep by the phone ringing in the middle of the night. He didn't even need as much sleep as regular humans, and yet somehow Alucard had the worst timing and always managed to call him at the most inconvenient point in his sleep cycle.

"How so?" the priest inquired.

"You'll never guess what I found," came his vampire boyfriend's voice from the other end of the line, somehow sounding both smug and accusatory at the same time.

Anderson wasn't sure they were even having the same conversation, since Alucard seemed to be just saying whatever he wanted, without paying attention to the priest's response.

"Save me the trouble and just tell me."

"An entire stack of nude pencil sketches of someone whose body is definitely yours... although the face is a bit off in the ones that deigned to include it."

After a lengthy pause, Anderson asked, "Where did you find them?"

"At a flea market."

He did not ask why Alucard had been at a flea market. Although he was somewhat curious, he knew that line of questioning would only lead the conversation off on a tangent from which it would be impossible to get back to the point.

"I did work as a model for a figure-drawing class in order to make ends meet when I was younger and had strayed from the path of the church. That's hardly the same as posing for pornographic photos, and I fail to see how that makes me a hypocrite in any sense of the word."

Alucard, who could never bear to let someone else have the last word, replied, "I'm just saying you should practice what you preach."

Anderson groaned at the terrible joke and hung up the phone without bothering to say goodbye.