Let me start by saying that this is 100% crack. I ship RC and would never dream of breaking them up– especially not so Christine could be with the psychopathic serial murderer rather than her childhood sweetheart.

But this was fun to write. Thanks, li'l sis, for giving me this idea. :)


"Christine is mine!" Erik yelled. The fop just smirked back.

"She chose me," Raoul stated calmly. "And for the record, Christine doesn't belong to anyone– but she belongs with me. Not you, murderer."

Oh, that was low. Using Erik's high kill count as a reason why his Christine might not want him? No! Girls loved guys who would kill for them, Erik thought, conveniently dismissing the fact that none of his murders had actually been for her, and in fact most of them had been decades before he met Christine, before she was even born.

Could Raoul being closer to her age have anything to do with her choice?

The vicomte smirked. "Finally getting it, are we? Good. Christine will never want you."

"I was good enough for her to sleep in my bed," Erik snarled back, leaving out the part about how he hadn't been in it.

Raoul went red. "Yet she left you the moment I came. Doesn't that tell you anything?"

Christine's voice cut through their posturing. "Enough. I'm done with both of you."

Both men turned to look at the blonde singer, identical in their shock.

Christine had their attention. She smirked, raised her chin, and announced, "I'm going to date Meg," and sashayed out of the room.

Erik and Raoul looked at each other, then at the doorway.

"Did she just say what I thought she said?" asked Raoul.

"Who's Meg?" asked Erik.


Ah, Phantom comedy. Just what I needed. If you enjoyed it, please leave a review! The more I get, the more I'm inspired to write fanfiction instead of working on my novel.

On second thought, maybe don't review. I guess either way it's helpful?