The comfort of sleep had been lost long ago. He knew what waited for him once his eyes shut and he lost his consciousness to the world of slumber. His memories of the present would be cast aside as the past takes control.
The Count becomes the Lord he once was. And alongside him is a beautiful human. When he lays his shining hues upon her, he swears that if he had knees, they would be weak at the very sight of her.
She brings light into his darkened world. Her very being radiates a warmth that he longs for. A hand of his raises to caress her cheek, a thumb lovingly rubbing her soft skin. He dares to gather a lock of brown curls into his grasp only to gently pull it up to his mouth. As the Lord gives her hair a brief kiss, he takes in that sweet and earthly scent. His eyes shut as he allows the feeling of bliss to overcome him.
His heart beats feverishly. It was because of her…and what he knew would come next.
When his eyes open, she is gone.
He is alone.
The world around him had lost its light and been overcome by the darkness. It was familiar, like his home, yet desolate. But he cared for no one else aside from that human girl.
There is a pounding pain in his chest that makes his weightless body feel heavy. It drags him to the ground as the aching pain overwhelms him. There was nothing more painful than what lay beating against his chest.
Tears flow and fall. It distorts his vision. How pathetic he must be, looking like a sniveling mess. But no one was there to catch this side of him and…he found comfort in that knowledge.
Memories of the present begin to return. He remembers that he isn't alone. There are those under his leadership, those who would follow him through hell and back. And he can't dare to imagine their reaction upon seeing him like this- a broken man behind that charismatic smile they all knew so well.
It's a voice. Not hers, but one he knows well. One that had been beside him for ages. His head lifts as tears begin to dry. He cannot find her here.
She is begging for him. While he hates hearing the crack in her voice, there is nothing he can do for her. She was not the one.
That name. That forbidden name. How could she even think of uttering it He is not angry, but frustrated at her choice. Yet it had pulled him out from the realm of slumber.
His voice isn't as chipper as he makes it. Waking takes time. His glowing eyes focus on the woman beside his bed.
"I'm sorry," she bows. She keeps her head low. "You were…having a bad dream."
"Was it about…?"
"Yes." He breathes out a heavy sigh. The smile he had forced for so long naturally surfaces. It's a terrible habit he can't shake. "Do not worry. It was only a dream."
"I know, but, um, I just…" She lifts her head, eyes concealed by glasses yet he can feel that concerned look upon him. "…hate seeing you like this."
He shuts his eyes for the time being, wishing he had his top hat to hide behind instead. He never meant to hurt her, but sometimes it seemed that was all he ever did.
"Thank you, Nastasia. You can leave me be next time."
"We should both get some sleep. Go rest."
She bites down on her lips, grips onto her shirt. It takes a few minutes before she finally responds.
"Of course. Good night, my count."
He watches as she leaves his quarters. The door shuts behind her and he returns to the world of darkness. His gaze, though blurry, remains focused upon the door for several minutes. He does nothing.
While his eyes shut once more, he cannot find himself able to sleep.
"Timpani…soon we will be together once more. Wait for me, my love."