Hey everyone. This is just an old piece that I wrote and forgot about. So, I've made a few corrections and am posting it.

A Father's Day Phone Call


Nigel smiled as he finally dug up the piece of paper he'd been looking for. It had taken him three days after his dad had mentioned it but he'd found the piece he was looking for, as ancient as he expected. He smiled as he checked the date, as if it would have suddenly changed on him or something. It hadn't, of course. Good, with this in hand he might be able to stop a confrontation the KND was expecting this weekend altogether.


Benedict smiled as he rose early Father's Day morning, ready to put his latest plan into action. And what better day to wreck little brats' lives than on one basically named for him. He threw on his pink and yellow robe, ready to head downstairs and make a pot of coffee before getting started.

Benedict flipped on his light and five seconds later his phone rang. Huh. That's weird. He looked at the number displayed on the device resting on his nightstand and sneered. It was Monty's house. What the heck was his brother doing calling at this hour. He decided to let it go to the answering machine as he started setting his clothes out for the day.

Benedict froze as his own recorded voice came out of the speakers system as the answering machine kicked on, just now realizing it was his Villain's Contact number and message. "Hello, This is Father and you have reached my Delightful Mansion, I'm not answering the phone right now so leave a message at your own risk and maybe I'll get back to you later if I feel like it." He frowned, already suspecting who he was about to punish for having the nerve to call him at this hour on this day

"Hello, Father." Benedict glared as a very familiar English accented voice came through the speakers. "I saw a light turn on in your Mansion, so I thought that now was as good a time to call for this as any." 'Why are you calling at all,' the villain wondered. 'You know we'll be seeing each other later.' "You see, you don't know why yet but you're going to cancel your plans for today."

Enraged by his nephews cocky little speech, Benedict his phone off the hook and said, "boy, you've got five seconds to explain what you're talking about or I'm going to be raking you across the coals the next time the I see you, and I don't mean that in a figurative sense."

"Hey, as long as it's not today, give it your best effort."

"You think you can stop me?"

"Oh, I know I can. You see I found a little something this week that might interest you."

Suddenly understanding where this was going, Benedict laughed. Not an evil laughed but a one of a man who couldn't believe what was happening but found hilarious.

"Hey! What's so funny?" Nigel asked, his confusion and offense both evident in his tone.

"Are you really going to try to use something to try to manipulate me boy. If so, this has to be the stupidest thing you've ever done." He had another bout of laughter before he asked, "Alright, alright. Let's see what you've got. Maybe it'll be worth using to get a laugh out of my Delightful Children Later. Bribe or blackmail."

"Do you honestly think I'd do something that could turn out nice for you? After all the crud you've put me, my team, the KND and kids as a whole through?"

"Okay, black mail it is. The last brat who tried that was Tommy Gilligan and it blew up in his face miserably."

"I'm not Tommy."

"Which is why I thought you'd know better than this. So, what've you got?"

"On my last birthday, Dad decided to make me a cake. It was probably the best he's made."

"So, actually edible…" Monty couldn't bake to save his life. "What does that have to do with anything."

"Well, he happened to recently talk about how he used a family recipe his dad gave him to make it. He was worried because he misplaced it. But, seeing as I'd been looking for an excuse to organize the bookshelf, he'd had it on anyway, I volunteered to find it and I did. Gee, that's a fair amount of fudge to start with."

Benedict tensed, barely daring to believe his ears. "Wait, you don't mean…"

"I most certainly do." Nigel replied proudly. "I currently have the recipe greatest cake ever, made by the mother of the Annoyingly Cute Triplets' Mother, in my possession. I'm looking down at it right now, actually."

Another shot at the recipe, he never imagined he would be so lucky. "Please tell me you aren't going to destroy it."

"And deprive the world of this cake…no, I've got something else in mind. Something I think that you'd consider much worse."

As the boy finished, Benedict could just picture a smile worthy of a villain whose plan was about to come to fruition. One who was sure his enemy was completely helpless to stop it. And the thought actually scared him a little. He took a moment to collect himself before asking, "and what would that be."

"The internet is forever, Father."

"You wouldn't!" Benedict exclaimed. The family's recipes were just that, the family's. They would rather have the cakes destroyed than let them fall into other people's hands. The fact that Nigel's team tended to do just that, rather than bring them back to the KND, was the only reason their little assaults on his children's Birthday Cakes were acceptable…that and his children actually wanted to fight with sector V for their birthday and who was he to go against their birthday wishes. The idea of an actual recipe, the most important one, being out there for the whole world to see…

"You know I would."

Benedict growled in frustration as the first hints of the smell of burning plastic reached his nose. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself enough that he wouldn't destroy the phone held within his grasp.

"What's the matter, Father? You seemed so ready to laugh at my plans a few moments ago."

Rather than rise to the bait, he just asked, "What do you want, Mr. Uno?"

"I want you to call off whatever your evil plan is for today. And, in case you planned to stop me, I've had Numbuh Five set up a system that will automatically put the data out unless it is shut down by a specific code word before midnight tonight." After a brief pause, he added, "Still comparing me to Tommy?"

Father growled, "you're going to pay for this, boy."

"Yeah, I'm sure halfway through the sousaphone concert this evening, I'll almost be wishing that I'd never made this call. But I'm not going to see the hurt in my dad's eyes because I had to duck out of HIS special day. And certainly not to spend time with his brother who hates my guts."

"You aren't the only one who knows I'm planning something. If news gets out that I was blackmailed by Numbuh One…"

"Word isn't going to get out. Numbuh Five doesn't know what the code is for and this line is private. Trust me, I spent enough sleepless nights working on this thing that you'd probably have better luck bugging a line to the oval office of the Whitehouse. Tell your Delightful Children that you decided today was like your cakes, only they deserve to have it. I'm sure everyone'll either buy the excuse hook line and sinker or at least pretend to. This remains between you and me."

Benedict couldn't help but feel relief but tried to hide it as he exclaimed in the most threatening tone he could muster, "I won't forget this, nephew." Then he hung up. He was torn between the fury at being thwarted by the eleven-year-old and admiration that the boy had been able to pull off a scheme so seamlessly. Well enough that it was worth the familial acknowledgement. Sure, in a few days, Father would have the recipe and nullify any risks of Nigel doing this again but that he'd gotten away with it at all… He growled, frustrated.


As Father hung up, Nigel spoke to the only other party that he was sure had access to the line. "You Delightful Dorks better get off the phone before Father makes it to your room. You know he's already in a bad mood as it is."

There was a click on the other end and Nigel smiled as he hung up the phone in his hand. That had gone far better than he'd expected. Hopefully, whenever Father tried to get revenge, he'd only have to worry about defending himself.

Nigel went downstairs, leaping over the occasional root that ran through the hallway or across the staircase with an ease that came from years of experience. He reached to see his dad look up from the newspaper he was reading, probably the parents Do's and Don'ts again. "Happy Father's Day, Dad."


Hey everyone. I am not coming back to this fandom right now and don't know if/when I will, sorry. I have since learned to respond to reviews, though. So, although I won't be doing that for past reviews, I'll reply it for future ones. I hope that you are all doing well.