"Could someone pass the stuffing?" JD asked.
The words had no sooner left JD's mouth when Ezra's and Nathan's opened to say something. They were cut off by a growl from Chris. "The first one who says it is going to make like a turkey and have it shoved up his ass," he said while leveling a glare at first Nathan and then Ezra. "And you can quit looking smug," he tossed in JD's direction.
Since none of the seven men had plans for Thanksgiving, they'd decided to spend the day at Chris' ranch having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Chris had ordered a fully cooked turkey, so it only fell on the men to make the side dishes to go with it. Since they'd gathered that morning, there'd been one squabble and misunderstanding after another brought about by regional differences in food and drink.
"You can call it stuffing or dressing or…or…soggy bread with celery for all I care but stop correcting each other." A snicker came from Vin's direction at the soggy bread comment. "You got something to add?" Chris demanded.
"Nope. Not me, Cowboy," Vin quickly said while trying to look innocent.
"Have you ever noticed that vein in your forehead that throbs?" Ezra asked innocently.
"Don't start, Ezra," Chris threatened. "I have no problem replacing the turkey with you." Wisely, Ezra chose to keep silent. "While we're on the subject," Chris continued looking between Ezra and Nathan, "The next person who asks for a Coke when he means ginger ale will drink the Coke whether he likes it or." He shot a look over to JD. "Likewise, the next one who asks for tonic when he means Pepsi will drink the tonic water he's given and shut his trap. There are labels on the bottles for a reason. None of us have mind reading skills so stop assuming we know what you mean."
"So...uh...is pop ok?" Buck ventured with an evil grin.
"Do you see pop written on any of those bottles?" Chris demanded. "I might just pop you if you ask for pop."
He looked around the now silent table at the men who looked alternately stunned at his outburst and amused. "While we're on the subject, I do not want to hear another peep from anyone about whether it's pee-can, pi-cahn, pee-cahn, or any other pronunciation. From here on out, it's a nut pie. Period. End of subject." He started to dig into his food but decided to head off another possible 'discussion' before it began. "And I don't want to hear any crap about it being whipped cream or cool whip, or whatever. You can call it fluffy milk and just end it there." He looked around the table catching each man's eyes. "Any questions?"
"Um," JD ventured, "Could someone pass the..." he slanted a look over to Chris and, not wanting to set the man off on another tirade, finished, "please pass the soggy bread with celery?" It was more than the men could take and they all broke down laughing.