Suite Life On Deck

Episode One

I remember black skies, the lightning all around me

I remember each flash as time began to blur

Like a startling sign that fate finally found me

And your voice was all that I'd heard

That I'd get what I deserved

"Julien Barnes are you even listening to me?" A voice asked, bringing the person they were talking to out of their musings.

"Yes Ma, I'm listening." The person was a fourteen year old boy with darkish skin, shoulder-length black hair and gray eyes. He was wearing a red shirt with graffiti-like writing, a pair of jeans, and black-and-white sneakers with a pair of gray headphones around his neck. A gray shoulder bag was on the seat next to him.

"Your father is waiting for you on the boat and it leaves in an hour, so don't take too long and miss it." His mother said to him as she parked the car and both of them got out before going to the trunk and helping him with his two suitcases.

Julien pulled out his ticket from his shoulder bag and waited in the very long line to board the cruise ship that was narcissticly named the S.S. Tipton.

"I'm Marion Moseby, your cruise ship manager. Welcome aboard!" A dark-skinned man in his late-thirties to early forties wearing a dark blue blazer, white shorts, and dark shoes although the only noticeable thing about him is having no hair on his head.

"Dad!" Julien shouted as he ran to his father gleefully.

"Julien! My boy! How are you doing?" His father said back as the two hugged. "The car ride would have been fine if Mom hadn't changed the stations every five minutes or Grandma calling me every single second." Julien replied with a blank look on his face. "Ah, well you know your mother, and Ma... nothing can change her mind from what she chooses-" "Like you in ballet?" That earned him a glare that was more amused than annoyed. "Yes, even ballet."

Thuds were heard and both men turned around to see a fair-skinned sixteen year old girl with long dark hair wearing a huge orange floppy hat and an orange-and-white dress that was sitting on several pink suitcases that were being wheeled. "Gangway! London Tipton coming through!"

Then all of a sudden Moseby screamed out.

"Dad?" Julien asked as London complained about the 'bumpy seas'.

"That was my foot." Moseby groaned out through the pain.

"Well why was it under my luggage?" London asked snarky-like as Julien stared at her with a 'really?' look on his face.

"Throbbing." Was all Moseby could say.

"Moseby enough of your problems, I'm on vacation! Yay me!" London shifted from snarky to conceited in two seconds.

"Well yay you is on this ship to attend Seven Seas High School. While it may be on a cruise ship, London, it's not a vacation. Your father put you on this ship so you can't... jet off to Paris for lunch and miss your afternoon classes." Moseby lectured while Julien was wondering about who would go to Paris only for lunch.

"I had classes in the afternoon?!" London asked with a shocked look. "What's next: classes in the morning?!" Julien had to cover his mouth to hold in his laughter from London's exclamation.

"There, there London," Moseby said. "You know: the older I get, more I realize that you have to look adversity in the eye and say 'You don't scare me!'." That caused Julien to let out a bark of laughter as his eyes watered from holding it in, making Moseby look at him with a fake annoyed look.

"Hey Mr. Moseby!"

Moseby screamed as he and Julien turned around to see a pair of sixteen year old boys with blond hair, green eyes, and almost identical faces.

"Moseby, you're shaking like a chihuahua." The dark haired woman behind the twins, their mother probably, said worringly.

"Sea breeze." Moseby replied.

"Probably shouldn't have left your pants in the dryer for so long." That cause Julian to lean on the desk as he laughed while tears ran down his face.

"I-I can't... breathe..." He managed to get through his laughter before trying to take huge gulps of air between laughs.

"Who's he?" One twin asked before his mother slapped his arm.

"That is my son Julien," Moseby said as Julien fell to the ground. "And he finds my discomfort funny."

"I-I'm fine now, thanks for no one asking." Julien said as he regained his breathing and used the counter to help himself off of the floor.

"You're Mr. Moseby's son?!" The same twin said and got slapped again.

"Julien Barnes at your service." He said with a salute and a mischievous look on his face.

"Barnes?" The other twin asked this time.

"Mom and Dad never got married and I will knock out anyone that says that I'm a bastard." Julien said, which caused the first twin to laugh.

"He's serious, he has a red belt in karate." Moseby said, causing the twin's laughs to become more worried before staring at him in fear.

"Well, he can beat up Zack all he wants." The other twin said confidently.

"Hah?" Moseby asked curiously.

"We're going to be attending Seven Seas High!" Both twins shouted.

"Huh?!"

"THEY SAID: THEY'RE GOING TO BE ATTENDING SEVEN," London then held up six fingers. "SEAS," She then made her hand into the letter C. "HIGH!" Then she waved. "He's getting old."

"Believe it or not, it was not an easy decision but I can afford it with my employee discount so how could I say no?" Their mother asked slightly rhetorically.

"Like this: NOOOO!" Moseby shouted before jumping over the railing.

"Excuse me, and it was nice to meet you and to threaten you." Julien said, pointing to each twin before going to find the captain.


"You know, it seemed like he wasn't happy to see us." Zack said as he, his brother, and his mother walked down the stairs leading to the deck.

"A COUPLE MORE FEET! A COUPLE MORE—STOP!" Julien shouted as he directed a crane which was holding Moseby in a life ring.

"Not true, I was jumping for joy," Moseby said sarcastically. "NOW PUT ME DOWN!"

Then he was dropped ten feet onto the deck.

"Oooh." Julien whispered before helping Moseby to his feet.

"Come on Mr. Grumpy-Pants, you know you're happy to see us." Zack said teasingly.

"Yes, I'm smiling on the inside," Moseby said sourly. "Now if you'll excuse me... I think I swallowed Flounder..."

"Maybe the nurse can do an x-ray to check?" Julien asked as he followed his father.

Zack just rolled his eyes before grabbing Cody's binder out of his hands.

"Wow, check out the schedule: eight o'clock—bingo breakfast buffet, nine o'clock—volleyball tournament and doughnuts, ten o'clock—water sports and an omelet bar. Man, I love this school!"

"Zack, that's the passenger schedule," Cody said before turning the page. "Here's the student schedule."

"Eight hours of school then a cheese sandwich..." Zack mumbled as he leaned from the binder in disgust.

"Attention everyone, ten minutes to departure. All ashore that's going ashore." The intercom repeated over the noise.

"Well, I guess this is-"

"Goodbye..."

"Oh Mom..."

"Oh Cody..."

"Oh man." Zack said, annoyed by his twin's and mother's antics.

Cody then tried to explain to their mother about the six month amount of casserole he made before choking up. Zack then avoided his mother's attempts at a hug and decided for a handshake...until he wouldn't let go and started bawling.


Julien left his father in the gun nut of a nurse's hands, luckily she only brought tranquilizers to put medicine into and a sniper rifle to shoot the medicine-filled tranqs at avoiding students, and headed to his room. Since he was the manager's son, he had a single room in the passenger side of the boat. The room was slightly bigger than a student's room with a fur rug, space heater, and AC/fan along with a walk-in closet. He unpacked his bags and pulled out a laptop from his shoulder bag and started pulling up plans, itineraries, work schedules, and future events before going through them.

Two hours later, he was in class where they were on a tour and already he was annoyed.

"Well why do they call him a purser?!" London demanded.

"I don't know," Their teacher answered. "But I do know it is not his job to hold your purse!"

"Fine, then you hold it." London ordered as she handed the teacher her purse, who nearly buckled from the weight.

"Good grief, what is in this?!"

"My allowance."

The teacher continued the tour, with London interrupting, before leading the group to the planetarium. Cody, Julien, and a male student looked at the octopus in admiration as Zack and another boy stuggled to open a jar of octopus food.

Zack complimented the boy to Cody, who then asked of switching him with Zack's roommate while Julien pulled out his phone to check something.

"Woody, what are you doing?!" The male student asked Woody, who was pulling the octopus out of its' tank.

"Ooh, it's mushy..."

"AND DELICATE!"

The octopus then squirted Woody with ink, who passed it Zack who then got squirted, Zack passed it to Cody who also got squirted, and he passes it to the male student who got squirted and then threw it out of the window.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!" Julien asked as he, Zack, and Cody scrambled to the window with Cody going through it. "Can you see it?!"

"Yeah, it's stuck to the side of the boat," Cody said as he reached for the octopus. "Grab my legs and lowered me down, I think I can reach it."

Then birds were heard.

"SEAGULLS ATTACKING! SEAGULLS ATTACKING!"

"Don't hurt the octopus!" The male student shouted.

"Oh yeah right, it's cool, I'll just let them peck my eyes out!" Cody shouted back.

"When did this become The Birds?" Julien asked himself as Zack pulled Cody's pants down.

"Are those share bears?" Woody asked.

"This is a nightmare!" Cody shouted

"None too pretty from this side either." Zack replied before finally pulling Cody and the octopus inside. The five of them put the octopus in the tank just before the teacher came in the room.

"What in the world is going on in here?" She asked, taking in four o the five students covered in ink.

"Nothing!" They replied before Cody's pants fell again.

"You probably need a belt now." Julien said with a hand on his face. "Or at least button up your pants."

Another hour later, the four students were cleaned up and down in the arcade.

Cody asked Zack of not switching roommates and Zack came up with an excuse before teaching Bailey, the male student, how to play pool.

"I hate this stupid sea school, and I hate this stupid boat!" London announced as she entered the arcade.

"Hey, Galaxy Raiders game is open!" Zack said.

"I love this stupid boat!" London resaid as they ran for the headphones.

DING! DING! DING! "Attention, we will now conduct our first lifeboat drill." The intercom said as bells went off and everyone but the group left the arcade.

The group then heard the bell, ran out of the arcade and found life vests, and tackled each other out of the door.

"WE FELL OVERBOARD!"

"WHY IS THE OCEAN SO HOT?!"

"Because it's a hot tub." Julien answered, making the group realize of where they were.

"Here's your hat Bailey," Cody said as he handed Bailey her hat. "DUDE, YOU'RE A GIRL!"

"I AM?! THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH!"

"I kinda figured since your disguised voice wasn't very good." Julien said while Moseby nursed his now sore foot.

A half hour later and the group were covered in towels.

"Miss Pickett, why on Earth would you masquerade as a boy?" The teacher asked.

"It was her only way to getting out of Popcorn Kansas!" Zack said as Bailey didn't know how to answer.

"Kettlecorn." Bailey corrected.

"Whatever." Zack rebutted. "This girl was meant for more than shucking hogs."

"No, you shuck corn," Bailey corrected again. "You try to shuck a hog and it bites you."

"Work with me," Zack demanded. "Anyways, Seven Seas High was Bailey's one chance to get off the farm, which she's dreamed of doing her whole life! You can't send her back to Carmel corn!"

"KETTLECORN!" Moseby and Julien shouted. "You've ever been to Kettlepot, you've driven right through it."

The teacher praised Bailey for her brilliant essay before saying that every cabin was full. That was when London gloated about having the room to herself and was forced to have Bailey as a roommate.

"How did the octopus ended up on her butt?" Julien asked as London stomped away.


It was late at night as Moseby and a girl wearing a white sun hat, a cream-colored sun dress, and gray sandals relaxed in the lounge chairs before the teacher arrived with a piece of paper.

"Mr. Moseby, read this not from London."

"I can't take it anymore. No one understands me. No one cares about me. I am going to a place where no one can find me. P.S. Please send my luggage to Daddy's villa on Parrot Island, even thought that's not where I'm going."

"Am I the only one that thought that it was a suicide note at first?" The 'girl' asked curiously.

"What are we going to do?! Mr. Tipton is not going to like me losing his daughter ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!"

"Relax! The point of putting London on a boat is that there's no way off of it."

"Except by helicopter." The 'girl' said as a helicopter flew over the boat.

Moseby then grabbed a pair of binoculars off a passenger and looked through them.

"The pilot is wearing London's diamond necklace. Frank, you turn that whirlybird around! You are so on report Frank! FRANK! FRANK! FRANK! FR-AAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Man overboard... again."