'Figuring Out The Secrets'

Hello, and welcome to cancer.

This is story one, in my anthological one shot/skit series. These stories are humorous stories. I'll occasionally update this story. It won't ever be complete.

In this particular one; Bia, Carla and Tiago all band together to figure out: Where do babies come from?

I apologise in advance if the characters don't behave normally, but just ignore it.

Enjoy or suffer.


Twas' a beautiful day in the amazon, in a spot with some 200 Spix's Macaws. In that spot, there lived a family of 5 Spix's Macaws. They were once thought to be the last of their kind. Consisting of Blu, his mate Jewel, and their 3 children: Carla, Bia, and Tiago. (eldest to youngest)

Like many children, they have many curiosities about the world. Many questions, one of which is:

Where do babies come from?

Bia, was determined to find out. Approaching her father, she was going to ask him. Maybe he knew.

''Dad,'' Bia began.

''Yes, Bia?'', Blu answered, looking back at his daughter.

''Where do babies come from?'', Blu gulped. He knew that they'd eventually ask.

''Babies come from eggs.'', he answered. Bia was not satisfied.

''Yeah, but where do the eggs come from?'', she questioned him.

''They come from the mother.'', Blu answered. Bia wasn't satisfied. She decided to change the wording,

''Yeah, but HOW do babies get in there?'', she basically was interrogating him at this point.

''They form inside the egg.'', Bia gave up, this was getting nowhere. She reckoned her mother would behave the same way. So she decided to rally up her siblings and find this out together. They likely wondered about that question too.

Bia headed off to Carla's room.

As usual, she was listening to her iPod. Chances are its some pop song from the 2000's. Shame she doesn't listen to the greatest music there is: Peruvian Pan-flute bands. Regardless, it was time to solve this… Once she rallied up her and Tiago, and got a place they'd figure things out.

''Hey, Carla.'', Carla looked in her direction, popping a single ear bud out.

''Yeah?''

''Have you ever wondered where babies come from?'', Bia asked bluntly.

''Well, we came from eggs.'', Great, now she's saying it too! Bia rolled her eyes.

''Dad said the same thing. Look, they'll never tell us. Its time for us to solve this mystery!'', Bia exclaimed enthusiastically. Carla wasn't so enthusiastic.

''Yeah, but we know we came from eggs.'', she responded. Bia was a bit frustrated at this point, and so she went all out on trying to get her point across.

''Ever wonder how babies manage to get in there? How do babies form? What causes it?'', Carla paused for a moment, thinking about it. Carla nodded,

''Yeah, come to think of it, I do wonder about that. So, what are we going to do?''

''Great! Now, we just need to get Tiago, and use logic and educated guesses to solve this together!'', Bia exclaimed. Carla liked the sound of it, minus the Tiago part.

''Alright, lets go!'', the two sisters headed off to Tiago's room. Outside his room, there is a message warning intruders to stay out. It also had the lovely sign: ''NO GIRLS ALLOWED''

Y'know, the typical boy stuff. They disobeyed the signs, and entered. Tiago sat facing away at them, with a quick glance back he saw his sisters, and just as quickly snapped back to looking away.

''What brings you into my lair?'', he said evilly. If he had a moustache, he would be twirling it. And if he had a cat, he'd be petting it like the evil James Bond villain he is.

''We are to band together and figure out where babies come from.'', Bia announced.

''We come from eggs.'', Tiago told them.

''WE KNOW! But how did we get in there? How do babies form? What causes it? Ever wondered about that?'', Bia snapped, but softened afterwards.

''Sheesh sis', no need to yell. I'm not on the other side of the tribe. But, yes, I do wonder about that…'', he turned around and faced them.

''So, will you help us find out?'', Bia asked.

''Yeah, I guess. Beats my meat.'', Tiago agreed, and chuckled. ''Hey, that should be the new slang phrase: Beats my meat!'', he exclaimed, having no idea what that meant. Luckily, none of them did, nor did their mother. Only Blu understood it, but he wouldn't comment on it… Because he couldn't bring himself to end it, for it was too funny.

The three headed off to their gathering spot: Bia's room. It was a bit cramped, but in there they had privacy, and a sketchpad and pen.

Bia set the sketchpad down, and grabbed her pen. She'd often draw the many little critters in the jungle. But this time, they'd use it to find out the greatest question of them all:

Where do babies come from?

''Alright, so lets through out some hypothesises.'', Bia announced. Carla shrugged,

''Beats me.'' (she will press charges)

''You meant to say: Beats my meat.'', Tiago corrected his sister, ''But I suppose mum and dad jumped into each other, fusing together, and split apart again, leaving three eggs.'', Tiago answered. Carla and Bia nodded.

''Possible, but doesn't make much sense, biologically speaking.'', Bia had a think about the question. Biology… Anatomy… That was the key to solving the puzzle!

''Hmm, I suppose it has something to do with our anatomy.'', Bia thought out loud, whilst tapping her pen on her beak to aid with her concentration.

''You don't say?'', Carla remarked sarcastically. Bia thought about the eggs, and came to a realisation.

''I think the key to solving this lies in the egg. Where does it come from? Well, the only orifice that I can see it coming out of is our cloaca.''

''Maybe it came out of our mouths?'', Carla suggested.

''That's gross!'', Tiago stuck his tongue out in disgust.

''You can't talk.'', Carla responded. Out of all the birds to call that disgusting, he was one of the least fitting to do so. Considering how he has little manners, among other things.

''Yes I can. See?'', Carla and Bia rolled their eyes at their smartass brother.

''Anyway, we have solved one piece of this puzzle. Now, lets move onto how the baby got in the egg.''

''Magic?'', Tiago suggested unsurely. They were truly clueless.

Bia looked over to the flowers in her room, and thought of pollen.

''Hmm, flowers use pollen… The pollen makes more flowers…'', Bia thought aloud, and then it hit her. (she is pressing charges)

''EUREKA!'', she cried out, as she snapped her talons, like a human would his fingers.

''Did you find gold?'', the distant sound of their dad was heard.

''No!'', Bia called back.

''What?'', Tiago and Carla asked in unison.

''Maybe some sort of pollen is involved. But from who? Simple. Logically, girls lay the eggs, so we're ruled out. That means that boys have the pollen.''

''So, I can just release my pollen and make you sneeze? Cool!'', Tiago was stoked about this revelation. He could only imagine how many pranks he could pull with this awesome ability. He'd definitely try to figure out how, once they were done with their meeting.

Bia began to draw on her sketchpad,

''So lets recap; Boys release some pollen which makes a baby form in an egg, which is laid by a girl. But what does that look like?''

Carla and Tiago watched as Bia sketched a crude drawing of the process, step by step.

While it was poorly drawn, and was a bit inaccurate. To them, it was some divine enlightenment.

''So, whatchya' think?'', Bia asked as she presented her drawing.

''Off the charts!'', Carla exclaimed.

''Meat beatin'!'', Tiago exclaimed.

Bia smiled, and signed her work.

''Now, time to show this to mum and dad.'', she announced. They headed off. Now, was the moment of truth.

''Dad, look!'', Bia called out. She showed her father the drawing.

''You wouldn't tell me where babies come from. So me… mostly me, Carla, and Tiago banded together to figure it out. Is it correct?'', Bia told him as Blu looked at her drawing. He was awestruck that they managed to figure it out.

''Yeah, that's actually how it works pretty much. Minus a few details, of course.'',

''Oh, can you tell us those details?'', Bia asked curiously.

''I'll tell you when you're older.'', the children paused for a few moments.

''Okay, we're older, can you tell us now?'', Bia asked.

''No.''

''Please?''

''No.''

''Pretty please?''

''No.''

''Pretty please with sugar on top?''

''No.''

''…Would you do it for a scooby snack?''

''How do you even know about that? Also, you don't have a scooby snack. And to answer: No.''

''Why?''

''Because.''

''Why?''

''Look, I created you, and I can end you. Now, stop asking. I'll tell you all about it one day, and that day may be soon.'', Blu looked into Bia's eyes, and spoke firmly. She nodded her head in compliance.

The kids went off to their rooms,

''Why do parents always hide secrets from us?'', Bia asked rhetorically, but Tiago was next to her.

''Hm, beats my meat.'', Tiago shrugged.


That ends this stupid story, hope you liked it.

I've had an idea for a scene like this for ages, so now I finally get to write it.

No clue when the next chapter will come out.

Until next time, goodbye.