A Flying Leap

Martin exited his bedroom and walked out to the living room, hollering, "Hey Daph, when're you gonna start dinner?"

Daphne came out of her bedroom, her mascara still running down her face from crying, her eyes wide with surprise as she said, "Mr. Crane, I thought you were heading to Montana."

"Oh don't even mention Montana to me after what I-AHHH!" Martin turned around and his eyes bulged and he jumped back with his cane in hand as he saw her hair and the raccoon mask around her eyes, "What happened to you?"

Daphne busted out sobbing again. Martin jumped back another step.

"What the hell's going on around here?" he demanded to know.

Daphne balled up her Kleenex and told him, "I hate Dr. Crane!"

"Yeah well that feeling's mutual right now," Martin said. He tried to take a more civil approach and asked her cautiously, "You...was that the look you were going for?"

Daphne screamed and bawled again.

"I can't do anything right," he muttered in frustration.

Tearfully Daphne recapped what had happened when she went to get her hair done, and the trip home with children pointing at her, some laughing, one woman was out with her baby, it saw her and cried.

"Ah geez, I'm sorry, Daph," Martin tried to console her, "That's rough."

She sniffed as she dabbed at her face with a new Kleenex and told him, "Thank you, Mister Crane, but, why aren't you on a plane to your reunion?"

"Oh you'll never believe what happened to me," Martin said, and recapped the whole event from the Canadian geese flying into the engine to the belly landing on the six feet of foam to his slide down the emergency chute and a fat woman in polyester landing on top of him.

Daphne's eyes widened as his story ran down and said to him, "Oh Mr. Crane, I'm so sorry, that had to be terrifying."

"Well it was," Martin replied, "I got to thinking about all the stuff I still want to do and...aw, forget it."

"What?" she looked at him through the corner of her eye.

Martin was quiet for a moment and visibly debating with himself whether to continue or not, finally he answered, "Don't you go getting all weepy on me again...but when I thought we were all going to die in that crash one of the first things I thought was how much I'd miss seeing you."

Daphne's eyes filled with tears again and her voice was weepy as she went to hug him, "Oh, Mr. Crane."

"I warned you!" he took a step back and raised his quad foot cane as if to ward her off.

Daphne threw her head back in despair and said, "Oh this has been a horrible day."

"I know, and whose fault is it?" Martin asked. "Frasier's. Try something new he said."

"Take a leap he said," Daphne added in a dry tone.

"Moron!" both of them exclaimed simultaneously. Then they looked at each other, and a second later they both started laughing.

"Well," Daphne said a couple minutes later when she composed herself, "I think I'm actually starting to feel better."

"Me too," Martin nodded. He looked at the monstrosity that was Daphne's hairdo and suggested, "I bet you could wash out...whatever that guy did to your hair. Why don't you take a shower and see?"

"Oh...I'm in no mood for a shower," Daphne said, "all I want to do is put this whole dreadful day behind me."

Martin nodded in understanding. A moment passed and he hesitantly asked, "How about if I help you wash it out in the sink?"

Daphne looked at him for a minute with her eyes wide and her mouth finally dropped open as she asked, "You'd be willing to do that?"

"Not if you blab a word of it to anybody," he warned her. "I still have a reputation to maintain you know."

"Oh, absolutely," Daphne said in her tone she used when humoring him.


Ten minutes later Martin was seated on a chair beside the kitchen sink as Daphne stood bent over it. One thing Martin thought as he worked, he took one look at Daphne's backside facing him and he knew it was a good thing Niles wasn't there.

"Okay, Daph, that should be good," he said as he reached over and turned off the taps, "Now it should look like...hair, again."

"Oh, that's too bad," Daphne said as she wrung her hair out and reached for a towel, "You're really quite good at that, Mr. Crane."

"I know, don't tell anybody," he warned her.

Daphne straightened her spine and wrapped the towel around her hair and asked him, "Have you had much experience washing women's hair?"

"No," he answered, "Just...one time when Hester and I were first married, she got lice from one of the rats she was experimenting on."

"Oh really? I never knew that," Daphne said.

Martin chuckled, "She was furious, she called up the supplier and chewed them out like you never heard. Anyway, I had to help her with the treatments until it cleared up. She said I was good at it too. She used to joke that if I couldn't be a cop anymore, I'd make a killing at the beauty shop she went to."

"Well I appreciate it very much, Mr. Crane," Daphne told him, "I feel much better already. And to show my appreciation, I'll take care of dinner."

"That's not necessary, Daph," Martin said.

"No, no, I insist, I'll order us a double pepperoni with extra cheese," she said smugly as she picked up the phone.

"Ooh, comfort food," Martin beamed, "This day may work out after all."

Daphne paused before dialing the phone, "You know something...as horrible as our leaps have gone today...Dr. Crane is still supposed to sing that aria on the PBS telethon tonight."

They looked at each other for a minute before Martin commented, "I think we got a new pack of tapes somewhere, I'll pop one into the VCR."

"Good idea," Daphne said, "this could prove quite entertaining."


Daphne leaned back against the couch and Martin in his chair, both of them laughing so hard they could hardly breathe as they watched Frasier spin into a horrible rendition of "Buttons and Bows" live on television, in front of millions of viewers.

Daphne let out several high pitched squeals of delight as she looked up towards the ceiling and clapped her hands together, "Oh yes, Dr. Crane's theory of 'take a leap' has worked out so well for him."

Martin laughed hysterically and told Daphne, "It's too bad we weren't there in person recording this, we could've sent this in to America's Funniest Home videos, and I bet it would've won the $10,000."

Daphne tried to speak but another laugh escaped instead. "Oh yes, I could certainly see that."

They both exploded into another fit of laughter until they had tears running from their eyes.

"I'm glad we got this VCR," Martin commented, "Now we can rewind and watch this again any time we want."

"Like any time Dr. Crane has anymore brilliant advice for us to take," Daphne said.

"Bingo!" Martin replied.

They watched a couple more minutes, then both 'awwwwwed' when Frasier's performance was over.

"It was just getting good!" Martin said.

"Let's rewind it now and see it again," Daphne said as she reached for the remote.