Author's Note: Now before you berate me for my *awesome* naming skills, I'd like to say that this was originally posted on Tumblr due to a prompt based of Pidge finding Lance's erotic book and then outing him to the entire table but then Shiro gets intrigued. Mind you, I didn't know where this was going. So enjoy!


Shiro was absolutely torn between talking to Lance about his choice of literature, and talking to Lance about his choice of literature. One option included giving him a lecture about keeping his darn sex-books away from Pidge's prying eyes. The other option favored Lance lending Shiro one of his darned sex-books.

Either conversation would have an awkward start. Shiro just hoped he'd actually make up his mind before reaching Lance's door.

Spoiler- he didn't.

Shiro's flesh hand hovered above Lance's door, inches away from disturbing the boy. If Shiro let his thoughts stray- he'd try to convince himself that this wasn't a good time, and that he could just have this conversation tomorrow instead of the smack-middle of the night.

But the longer he waited- the less opportunities he'd have. It was just Lance- but that's it, it's Lance. The guy with zero shame- the same guy whose name was announced at dinner time by a smug Pidge brandishing Lance's choice of reading material. Lance had decently blushed- but defended himself by saying that everyone likes erotica from time to time- there was nothing wrong with the book.

Shiro had immediately switched the topic by gently berating Pidge about snooping around in Lance's room in the first place. Pidge protested that Hunk and Lance snooped around her room all the time- then Hunk claimed that he only joined when Lance roped him into it.

And luckily- the awkward topic of erotica was lost. No one brought it up back. Not even Allura. Dinner went smoothly after that.

But Shiro did not miss the smirk Lance had when Pidge returned his book. And Shiro did not miss the subtle lip biting that Lance gave right before he bid everyone a good night. And Shiro did not miss how Lance had just a little bounce to his steps as he went to bed. A bounce that could only mean one thing.

Hence- the reason Shiro stood in front of Lance's door at this time of night. It was Shiro's responsibility to ensure that today's incident never happened again. Yep- that's the excuse Shiro's going to use. He was going to lecture Lance and nothing more.

Shiro gave the door two sharp knocks before pushing the lock pad. The door slid right open- Lance didn't even lock his door at nights. For a teenage male, that was a little bit of a surprise.

Shiro stepped in slowly and called out softly, "Lance?"

The bed was empty. The rest of the room was empty. The bathroom was empty- where was Lance? Not here. So Shiro could prolong this conversation to another day. Which would probably be better in the long run because it really was late.

He turned to leave- but that's when he saw it.

The little paper-back book that had caused such a stir that afternoon. Shiro grabbed it- eyes wide.

The familiar grey tie on the cover- simple yet promising. He flipped through the pages, his eyes catching onto snippets and he could feel himself smile as he recalled the tiniest of scenes.

It's a shame the book was about a hetero couple, but Shiro wasn't complaining just yet.

How much would Lance even miss this book? It was on his bed. And there was a bookmark too- a simple piece of paper with numbers. Numbers?

Oh- page numbers. Pages with the sex scenes.

How useful...

He didn't think Lance was that kind of person- but honestly? He wasn't surprised.

Maybe Lance wouldn't miss it too much- he was done, wasn't he? Judging by the condition of the book, it couldn't be new. It had the comforting weight of a novel whose pages have been opened so many times before that the spine has grown just slightly.

How long has it been…?

It's been years hasn't it?

Years since Shiro has read something this juicy- no pun intended. Maybe he wouldn't get off as quickly as he did before he realized he was gay, but it was still something endearing. Something to do. Something to think about.

And it was healthy- wasn't it? Stress relief and all that stuff.

Jeez- guess he was going to ask Lance to borrow the book after all.

If only he could find the boy. Where would Lance be in the dead of night anyways?

Probably in the shower. Or the kitchens- hey, wasn't there a shower scene in Fifty Shades? He'd be surprised if there wasn't, but Shiro didn't remember too much about the book. Reading it this time would be just as good as a new experience, except with a few 'aha- I remember this part' moments.

But he wasn't going to start reading the book without asking Lance first. It didn't belong to him. And Shiro wasn't going to start stealing from his friends now- especially not with an erotic book.

However- friends do borrow things from each other all the time. Lance, Pidge and Hunk borrow each other's stuff all the time. Maybe it won't be that bad if Shiro just borrowed Fifty Shades from Lance. He'd return it- eventually. And then apologize.

Cause it's been too long since he's read something like this.

Footsteps. Incoming.

Quick footsteps. Coming here.

Shiro threw the book back on the bed, spinning so he looked the very image of cool, calm, casual and very collected. He gave Lance a good smile when the boy appeared at the door- momentarily startled by his friend's presence.

"Shiro!" Lance broke into a grin- wearing Pidge's headphones and Hunk's headbands around his neck and… another book? Did Lance have two copies of Fifty Shades?

"What's that?" Shiro gestured to the book, "Is that another erotica novel?"

"Maaaaybe."

It was!

Lance put his hands on his hips, the book resting comfortably at his side, "Why do you want to know? Fan of the genre?"

Lance gave that tell-tale grin, the one where he knew something was working in his favor. Shiro decided that if Lance had no shame talking about these things- then neither should he.

But Shiro couldn't help his blush as his eyes flickered to the book on Lance's bed, "I- yes?"

"Oh- cool. Wanna borrow this one then? I'll take out my bookmark," Lance was at his bed in two seconds and held out the book to Shiro in another second, "I'm pretty much done with it anyways."

Shiro slowly accepted the book, cheeks burning as the thought of what Lance meant by 'pretty much done with it'. Judging by the bookmark- wait. The bookmark. He wanted that too.

Shiro cleared his throat, and asked Lance in a voice very far from the confident tone he usually held, "Um… May I have the bookmark too?"

"The ones with all the sex scenes?" Lance arched a brow, "My-my Shiro. Somebody is going to have some fun tonight! I didn't think this was your thing."

Shiro replied quickly, "I'm not just reading it because of the BDSM and the- why are you smiling like that?"

"I always knew you were a Space Daddy! And now you're into BDSM? This is too good to be true- I must be dreaming. Pinch me- no, wait, that'll bruise. But you're into that right?"

"Lance." Shiro's voice just barely grazed an authority tilt, and Lance flushed a little before apologizing.

"Sorry- just happy to have someone to talk this stuff with,"

"Well- you have me," Shiro said carefully, "As long as it doesn't get awkward, we could talk… stuff… together."

"Ooh- I like the sound of that. You and me- together- talking stuff. Together. Wink-wink,"

Shiro put his head in his hands, letting out a sigh, "Whatever you say Lance… Bookmark?"

"Oh yeah- here!" Lance was only too happy to give Shiro a wink accompanied with the bookmark. Shiro expected it- but he never expected Lance to ask the following question:

"Need some lube?"

"Excuse me?"

Lance had that same decent amount of blush on his face- the one where he is just slightly embarrassed but totally comfortable with it. The boy repeated, "Do you need some lube? Or does your Galra hand self-lubricate for you…?"

"That's- not…" Shiro's brows furrowed as he tried to remember if it was even possible for his hand to- nope. Not going there, "No Lance it doesn't. The only sex- related stuff it does is probably just temperature change and-"

"Vibrating!" Lance shouted a little to happily for Shiro's peace of mind, "Tell me it vibrates- cause that means you're this close to becoming the walking sex-toy Space Daddy of my wet drea-"

"Lance. No." Shiro just had to get him to stop- because at this rate, Shiro's cheeks might be permanently stained red.

And why was he even here in Lance's room still? He got what he wanted- and there's no reason for him to get teased any longer. Not that the teasing wasn't unwelcome- it was just… teasing. And Shiro usually wasn't on the receiving side. and plus- it was late. And Lance needed sleep- but, the boy didn't look tired.

Lance actually looked bubbly. As if someone switched on his energy levels- was it because of the new book? What was that book about anyways?

When Lance saw Shiro looking at the book- the boy held it up, and Shiro felt his smile grow. Of course.

Lance gave a little chuckle, "Guess who found the sequel. Yep- it's Fifty Shades Darker. I don't know about you- but I'll have fun with this one. I heard it's not as steamy, but there's drama. Not just mindless porn- Shiro- are you okay? Oh, is it because I said porn?"

Shiro burst out a wheeze, his face completely burning, "Yes! Why would you- it's... Really Lance?"

"Hey- you are blushing because I said porn!"

"You said it again!"

"Holy crow. Really? That's adorable! What if I say-"

"Lance- just drop it."

"Drop what? To my knees?"

"Just stop," Shiro can't help but give Lance a desperate plea, "You're ruining my reputation."

"Oh no Shiro- I'm building your reputation." Lance gave that disaster wink again, "Reputation as the Walking Sex Toy Space Daddy of My Wet Dreams,"

"That's an awfully big title,"

"That's an awfully big flush on your face-"

Okay, Shiro knew Lance could be bold. But since when did he become so forward? Usually his flirts with alien girls wouldn't be as direct- or playfully lewd. But it was late in the night and they each had an erotica novel in their hands so Lance being overly bold wasn't that strange.

Then Lance cut off Shiro's thoughts with these words, "As much as I love you in my room… we have to wake up in about… three vargas? Hey- does the word Varga ever remind you of Viagra-"

"Goodnight Lance," Shiro walked out the room.

He pretended not to hear Lance's cackles. But at least Shiro got what he came for. And discovered a whole lot more. Who knows- maybe one night he'd randomly drop by Lance's room to continue this conversation.


Heh- I really enjoyed writing this. See you around when I write again! XD