Ch. 00a: Prologue, Pt. 1: The End of the Beginning


Author's Notes

Hello, all.

This is Chapter 0, a.k.a. the prologue, of the «The Maelstrom Variable» (previously named «Servant? I Think Not.» between the publication of the story AN and Ch. 00). I only planned on starting it on the evening of Jun. 30. As such, I have only a vague plot in my head. This chapter focuses on Naruto and co. taking care of business before they can securely rest on their laurels. The next chapter, Chapter 1, will be when Naruto (and ?) comes on over to the TMU. (And at least as of this moment, this story is primarily about eviscerating Shirou "The Retard" Emiya, though dipping my toes into the Naruto fanfiction world is a bonus. Yet do not despair, for Naruto is the protagonist of this story for a reason.)

This chapter was originally going to be published in July, because I had already written ~¾ of the text. Unfortunately, due to a combination of laziness and commitments to other affairs, it had been languishing in draft form for almost five and so months, until I resumed writing today.

Important: This chapter is ~95% completed, but I wanted to publish most of the work before 2021! Everything with '(?)' or {} brackets indicate uncompleted stuff that still need to be addressed.

Reading through the reviews (for the story AN, when no actual chapter had yet to be posted!), I feel that I must be doing something right with how many reviewers are metaphorically jumping on top of the grenade for poor, retarded Shirou.

Jul. 9: So I went to see Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) today in a local theatre (with 😷 of course!), a film I haven't seen in more than a decade. Despite the nostalgia and overall sense of fun, the work should be retitled Hermione Granger and the Thankless Chore of Keeping the Scarheaded Imbecile Alive.

Now, onwards with the story.

Beta readers are also welcome to contribute to this story.

Publish dates: 2020-12-31 (90% of the chapter); 2021-01-01 (the rest...)


Replies and Answers to Common Questions and Comments Posted before or on 2020-07-01 (Consolidated from FFN and AO3)

Reaper's Blaze and False Usurper (no account [∅]): I state in no uncertain terms in the story AN that I detest canon!Shirou's personality and overall weakness. I do not delude myself that everyone is going to like this story, which will involve unapologetic Shirou bashing. And if you go to my profile, I explain why I have large amounts of disdain for canon!Naruto as well. The weak die and the strong survive. My Naruto is not going to go out of his way to collect trash.

xSean: {Address apparent inaccurate knowledge of Naruto and HP canon first. Many fanon tropes are canon plot points taken to more logical conclusions.} Of course I do not expect protagonists to be Mary Sues or Gary Stus. What I do have major problems with are a character's non-existent capacity for growth (both mentally and power-wise) and getting by on deus ex machina. Harry's strategy and combat ability that manage to end Voldemort for good are laughably unbelievable, both relying on the cheap trick of plot devices tying their magicks and destinies together. Without Kurama, Naruto would not have gotten anywhere. Now while having a trustworthy ally to have one's back is fine, relying on said ally as a crutch for power is not.


(See the opening AN for legalese, detailed story parametres, and text formatting legend.)


== Somewhere in Iwagakure, Tsuchi no Kuni, 4th Shinobi War (4.S.W.), Jun. 13, 300 A.N. [0a] ==

"Doton: Ganban Kyū (ja) (≔ Earth Release: Bedrock Coffin (en))!" "Doton: Tsuchi Gekiha Kasui no Jutsu (≔ Earth Crushing Spikes Technique)!" "Doton: Tsuchi Nami no Jutsu (ja) (≔ Earth Wave Technique" [0b] [0c])! A dozen or so Iwa shinobi shouted simultaneously, hoping beyond hope that their combined, multi-pronged, and multi-ranged assault would end the monster before them.

Alas, said monster was in no hurry to indulge their desperate appeal. In fact, he was really doing them a favour by initiating their deaths first. After all, living on a prayer is not a healthy mindset to have [0d]. All too casually, like he had all the time in the world, he gracefully weaved about their attacks' trajectories and then leaped into the air to avoid numerous slabs, spiked projectiles, and a wave of hardened earth rushing to end his life. His manoeuvres were helped in bit by his enemies' insistent need to shout out their attacks. Ah, cannon fodder (CF) truly compose a class of gift that keeps on giving [0d].

Giving no warning, the airborne figure blurred forwards his outstretched left hand, rocketing enough mini projectiles of corrosive crimson chakra towards his foes, each barrelling straight into targets of critical importance, such as the brain and heart, with pinpoint accuracy, instantly rendering them into ghoulish smoking corpses.

Soundlessly landing on the ground and sensing another attack coming from his eight o'clock direction, he did not even bother augmenting the same appendage, before whipping his arm back and nonchalantly backhanding the boulder-sized fireball speeding his way into yet another foe hoping to skewer him from his supposed blind angle at five o'clock. Said foe could not even widen her eyes all the way in surprise before the redirected ball of fiery destruction impacted her upper torso, landing at twice the speed as the one it was initially launched with. All that remained of her were a pair of legs connected to a torso ending at the navel, the exposed innards having been cauterised instantly.

Enraged at the state his team partner befell to, the Konoha shinobi who launched the Katon attack shouted some incoherent obscenities before rushing at the demon standing before him, who had the nerve to appear relaxed and without a care in the world.

"Tsk, tsk." The supposed monster and demon finger-wagged at the bloodshot-eyed and foam-mouthed man who was about to venture on his one and only trip to certain doom. Deciding to goad him further for his own amusement, he pompously stated, "We may be killers, Cannon Fodder № 99-san, but that's certainly no reason to be so uncouth. Let's fight like gentlemen" [0e]!

Screeching even more madly, the furious Konoha shinobi brandished a ninjatō in one hand and a kunai in the other, nothing but the unholy butchering of this vile creature before him on his mind. Maybe he should have diverted more energy to sprinting instead of shouting, for at this point, the charging shinobi had only ran approximately halfway to his target, suggesting that talking was indeed a free—or at least heavily discounted—action for the yet to be identified mass butcherer.

Smirking condescendingly and having enough of his temporary CF's agonising slooowness, the omega [0f] of so many lives on this battlefield simply vanished from one moment to the next, only to appear behind the now awkwardly running duel-wielding shinobi, the reason was made apparent by a fine blade of refined chakra emitting from his straightened right hand. Moments after, having come to a stop, the shinobi sank heavily to his knees with a thud, a thin crimson line slowing materialising across his neck, after which his head morbidly fell off of his shoulders and landed with a sickening sound, like a too ripe watermelon dropping to the floor.

"Hmph. As if I would sully my blade with people of these calibres." The mysterious assailant muttered haughtily to himself.


As the figure was meticulously smoothing out his clothing of all things, 20 or so more of the two deceased figures' compatriots Shunshin'd in to the edge of the parametre, observing the situation before making any moves on their target. Decked out in a pair of nearly black blood red boots, a pair of form-fitting gunmetal grey trousers and a long-sleeved shirt, an utility pouch attached to each thigh, a crimson sleeveless jacket ending at the mid thigh, and a pair of gloves with steel bracers, the target's actions certainly warranted this cuttingly imposing figure. Knowing what the surrounded target was capable of, none of them was foolish enough to charge in by their lonesome, yet they had witnessed plenty of evidence that no team engagements against this man had proved even remotely successful. For someone so dangerous, they could barely detect any chakra emitting from him even when trying their damnedest. Truly, he was a monster.

The unnamed monster, unconcerned with their inner turmoil, was content to just stand there, not looking ruffled in the least. And he was also pointedly looking towards a certain direction.

A minute had gone past, before who seemed like the head of the cute little platoon knew their cover was now useless and spoke up, doing an admirable job of hiding her trepidation. "B… by the order of the Hokage, you're hereby charged with the crime of tr… treason against Konohagakure and Hi no Kuni [0g]. If you surrender now, your life will be spared and you will agree to ser… serve as Konoha's edge for the reminder of your life. Resist, …" She almost whimpered, silently cursing her leader for issuing such a suicidal provocation, "… and your life and those of your companions will be terminated with extreme prejudice." Beat. "How do you plead?"

The charged man, rather than raising his heckles or blustering about, simply let out a throaty chuckle. Its acoustic quality would be considered by many to be alluring if not for the jarring juxtaposition between its normal effect and the sheer carnage of the setting surrounding its emitter. "I admire your ability to deliver that, ah, most chilling, ultimatum with a straight face, lieutenant-san [0h]. And your loyalty to your village, despite the madman leading it, can be detachedly appreciated(?). However, the path I'm on cannot be altered. Besides, I'd rather develop an unseemly fondness for all things Kill Me Orange️ (KMO)™️ colour and a disturbing habit of proclaiming ill thought-out life goals [0i] than to subject myself and mine to the whims of that shrivelled prune and his ilk."

The platoon commander was a clear-headed kunoichi, so she said nothing, having expected this response's sentiment. Unfortunately, some of those under the lieutenant's command were not made of leadership material, which was why one future meatbag decided to mouth off and activate his death ticket. "Shut your mouth, you insolent demon! How dare you turn your back on the village?! By the time we're through with you, our Will of Fire™️ will be burning stronger than ever, while you'll consider yourself lucky to rot in a dilapidated cell!" The unidentified CF spat with pure venom.

The demon, ever so insolent, waved off the threat with a smirk. "Ho, my village? I guess that makes a perverse sort of sense. Symbolically, anyways. You see, mongrel, I already explained why I deem Konoha to be unworthy of bearing the Uzu emblem in its own when I and mine declared war on the Alliance(?) {maybe 2nd one? as in after Obito/Madara had been defeated?}. Then again, you've never been the inquisitive type of individual, so I can't be surprised that my motives went over your pea-sized brain." Riling him up further, he said, "And I didn't know blind patriotism deserved such an unique branding [0j]. Please do enlighten me on the methods by which this sacred fire thrusts its will into you. I'm sure your heart must had been positively throbbing each time you joyously took in its commandment. By the way, congratulations on learning the word 'dilapidated'. It must had taken a tremendous effort for you to do so."

Predictably, snarling like a rabid dog, the red tribal facial tattoo-marked soldier and his canine partner rushed at their enemy before the lieutenant could rein in her hot-headed subordinate. Knowing his combat style though, she shouted at the rest of the platoon to remain back but ready to assist, lest they got caught up in the upcoming destruction.

"Gijū Ninpō: Shikyaku no Jutsu (ja) (≔ Imitation Beast Ninja Art: Four Legs Technique (en))!" The now identified Inuzuka clan shinobi got on all four appendages, mimicking a stance of his clan's namesake. Unable to completely suppress his now bestial-like mannerisms, he growled out his attack plan to his ninken partner. Receiving an affirmative bark, the duo synchronised their movements, preparing an assault that no previous opponent had yet to escape unscathed from. "Jūjin Taijutsu Ōgi: Gatsūga (ja) (≔ Beast Human Taijutsu Secret Art: Fang Passing Fang (en))!"

The attacking duo's spinning movements morphed the air around their bodies into twin chaotic but tight mini cyclones, traversing the localised battlefield in seemingly random trajectories at high velocities. A more careful look revealed the attack's paths had, by now, weaved a dome around the target, ensnaring him in a prison that was steadily shearing apart everything, even rocks, in its confines. Try as he might, even the assaultee could not manoeuvre his way out of all the individual cyclones. Gritting his teeth in frustration, his body and mobility slowly got wilted down. Eventually, he let out a pained yell as a healthy chunk of his thigh got punched out.

After two minutes of unrelenting and savage assault, the dome of destruction petered out, revealing the heavily panting attacking duo and their profusely bleeding prey on his knee.

߹Huff, huff, huff.߹ The attack had consumed a good deal of his reserves. Two minutes might not seem like a long time, but when fighters were throwing around high-powered attacks, sometimes a battle could be decided in just a few seconds.

"That's a good look for you, dobe." Receiving nothing but a burning gaze from the immobile target, he decided to turn back the tables onto him. "Not so tough now, are you? And you know what, now that you'll finally out of the picture, that Hyūga slut who has been pining for you will finally be mine! That bitch and the other sluts around you will finally acknowledge the real alpha around here!" Unconcerned with his surroundings, the Inuzuka continued to lord over his superiority to his vanquished nemesis—utterly one-sided, but still.

The rest of the platoon watched on, still vigilant about a possible counterattack, no matter how unlikely that might be now. While the lieutenant was personally disgusted by his comments, she knew the little shite was somehow in the Hokage's favour, so any complaint she could make against him through various channels would only see it get dismissed. Or worse, one of the sycophants working in his administration might leak her complaint, thus putting her own life in danger from the Inuzuka and his allies' retaliation. Unbeknownst to the internally raging lieutenant, a figure silently made their way just behind her.

"My, my. If possible, I think Kiba has somehow become even worse of a piece of trash since I left Konoha behind."

Absolutely startled, the lieutenant acted on her battle-honed instinct, in the process of thrusting her trusty kunai into the person's femoral vessels. Their hand easily clasped around her offending appendage, stopping her backward stab with ease. Leaning even closer, they put their mouth next to her ear, whispering, "Now, now, lieutenant-san, please don't do anything rash on behalf of trash like him, hmm?"

The unmistakable tone of the person's voice made the lieutenant's eyes widen in disbelief. After all, the speaker was hunched down right in front her, his face getting paler by the second due to the unstoppable blood loss. Panicking, she shouted to her platoon regarding this ridiculous development. To her disbelief yet again, none of them bothered to so much as glance at her.

Chuckling at her obvious confusion and growing panic, the perhaps temporally unrestrained man told her, "Fūinjutsu is a bread and butter of my people, lieutenant-san. Its applications are theoretically limitless. Your physical efforts are and will be in vain, because I applied a distortion barrier around just the two of us. Don't you feel oh so special?"

Heart dropping yet knowing it was likely true, she still sent out a chakra pulse to her teammates.

No acknowledgement was made.

Now absolutely terrified of being helpless and restrained by the monster, she could only keep her voice even with great effort. "Wh… What do you want from us?"

"Want?" Rhetorised the amused voice. "I want nothing from you or your merry little band, my dear. I've spilt enough blood today to last most warriors multiple lifetimes. I didn't put down the unwashed mutt back then because of a promise that I made, …" She could feel his smile morph into something more sinister, sending a shiver up her spine. "… but the loopholes I left in it have now rendered the promise void through his actions today." He released her arm and asked her, "By the way, my dear, you ought to tell me your name. Referring to you only by your rank is becoming a bit irksome."

"Tsu… Tsukihana." The now named lieutenant absolutely did not stutter.

"You're smart to not give out your surname or clan name to a stranger, Tsukihana-san." The man told her approvingly, before continuing. "The world is undergoing an upheaval, so don't squander the bright future that you can still have. You seem like a smart woman, so I hope I can count on you to not pose any problems." With that bit of advice imparted, he gave her an unexpected slap on her firm behind, making her squeal.

With his mostly one-sided conversation concluded, he disappeared from view. Concurrently, the now suspect fatally wounded version of him suddenly appeared none the worse for wear, instantly blurring a bolt of lightning from his straightened right index and middle fingers, blasting through the overconfident Inuzuka's right shoulder. His pained cry got the attentions of his ninken and comrades, who watched with horror as the supposedly badly injured enemy dissolved into a viscous darkish red liquid that almost instantly fizzled into the ether. In reality, it decomposed into its constituent atoms, ions, and standard molecules, ensuring no nefarious experiments could be conducted with his genetic material.

Amidst the heavy smell of ozone hanging in the air, the platoon members attempted to follow protocol by reforming into an outward-facing ring around their injured comrade, only to find themselves unable to move. "What's going on?!" "Wh… Why can't we move?!"

Finally, one member regained enough sense to look at his lower legs, specifically, the chain-shaped fūinjutsu scripts binding them and those of his teammates to the ground.

"Really now, …" Heads snapped up to the spontaneous reemergence of the one who was quickly becoming their most hated enemy. "… your situational awareness are just laughable."

Pivoting to the downed Inuzuka, he saw Akamaru baring his teeth, taking a protective stand in front of his partner.

How troublesome.

Sighing, he said, "I have no quarrel with you, Akamaru. Today, you can either leave as an untethered ninken, …" The localised atmosphere all of a sudden seemed much harder to draw oxygen out of for the present Konoha nins. Every physical movement they made took heavy tolls on their bodies; their muscles fibres began to snap and bones groaned in protest while doing so. Droplets of sweat began forming on their skins as they felt a suffocating presence blanketing the local environment. Glancing to the only individual around who could be responsible for this abnormality, their eyes widened to comical proportions, even as they watered, when they experienced an inexplicable something towering over them from behind the monster, an eldritch mockery of life [0k] whose malevolent amethyst gaze instantly pierced through them, rendering onto them an ineluctable binding class summary judgment, a decision that threatened to unmake their very beings with unfeeling totality, decimating their existences with such tyrannical impunity that neither heaven nor hell would become their afterlife destinations, for it would be as if they had never been born in the first place. "… or you can foolishly become a recipient of the violence that I'm about to inflict upon the flea-ridden brat cowering behind your tail."

Whining pitifully, Akamaru knew he was like a fly before the barely restrained maelstrom of might in front of him. Wisely, he, with great physical effort, shuffled to the side, though making sure to keep the monster in his line of sight.

Having been abandoned by his—up to just before this point—loyal companion, Kiba laid unmoving on the ground, rendered temporarily speechless by the betrayal. It came as not too much of a shock then when something seemingly snapped in him. His volatile mix of emotions giving him enough fuel to leap back onto his feet, nothing but the evisceration of the cause of his putrid mix of negative emotions on his mind. While not the brightest of individuals, even someone with his calibre of cognition should have taken pause upon noticing the mismatch between his smooth victory and the farcical aftermath. Alas, he was beyond reasoning now, which was why his mad charge towards the monster with the overwhelming presence failed to achieve his desired result.

Not even deigning to take the mentally devolved shinobi seriously, the mystery man stood still, only moving at the last possible moment to avoid the Inuzuka's painfully telegraphed punch. Slipping to the side and then stepping into the barbaric shinobi's guard [0l], he gripped the Inuzuka's leading arm in a vice grip while simultaneously snap-kicked him in the chest with inhuman strength.

߹Rip!߹ ߹Crunch.߹

߹ARRRRRRRRAGH!߹

The result looked like a hapless victim savaged to near death by a ferocious beast. The unyielding anchoring iron grip around Kiba's lower arm coupled with the insane force behind the kick delivered to his chest resulted in his body messily separating from his limb, as well as some of his ribs snapping and concaving, piercing his lungs.

This time, the inability of the rest of the platoon to move came not from the seals, but the casual brutality of the fiend's display. "Cur… Curse you, monster!" A member finally regained enough sense to speak after a minute, though his stutter indicated both fear and anger.

Paying them no mind, the fiend casually walked to and stood over the freshly delimbed Inuzuka. "Any last words before I wipe your unsightly self from existence?" He offered with false compassion.

"D… Damn you, you de… demon motherfucking bastard!" With blood steadily flowing into his ruined and collapsing lungs, Kiba could only gurgle out an asinine show of defiance.

Amused, the accusee decided to humour the dead man-to-be a bit. "From your mental limitations, I suppose I'm technically a demon. Now, die well, or not, knowing that you had somehow managed to achieve a ⅔ correct description from your much to be desired insult."

Before Kiba could retort, the backhanded complimenter snapped his fingers, causing purple flames to materialise in the air. The writhing mass of unnatural expression of thermal energy split into four units, each quickly engulfing an extremity of all his appendages, both attached and otherwise.

The Inuzuka could only scream, as a not yet wholly broken man could, as the hellish flames consumed his body, making their ways to his torso with torturous speed.

Unable to stomach his partner's inhumane execution any further, Akamaru attempted to lunge at the monster, only to find himself also bound by the damn seals. Whipping his head towards him to raise his hackles, his growl died in his throat when he found a pair of burning amethyst eyes, whose pulsing power seemingly skewering his entire being in place.

"The only reason you haven't become food for crows and maggots, Akamaru, is your lack of direct participation in this mongrel's sexual depravities." For the first time throughout this battle, the fantastically ocular man's demeanour was deadly serious. "While I'm many things, a rapist I'm not. As for you, mutt, you've grown arrogant. Without me around to keep your disease-ridden self in line, you've been acting like a wannabe barbarian overlord. Now, women all over the world can live a bit easier with your stain wiped from reality."

Not even deigning to hear out any feeble justifications and excuses from the wretched vermin's mouth, not that he could, too busy screaming in what capacities he still could manage, the unaccountable one-man justice system watched with a small bit of satisfaction as the last bit of the Inuzuka's body got consumed by the baleful flames.

With that bit of tedious business completed, he looked the battlefield, his internal clock alerting him to the end proceeding of this battle. All around, he saw the enemies' forces being systematically cut down. Yet at a first glance, no force aligning with the mystery male could be seen.

As the sounds of battle slowly died out, even a seasoned warrior would have balked at the battlefield turned improvised graveyard. And not any graveyard, because this one stretched out as far as the eye could see. Even from the vantage points of the cliffs and high rock formations dotted throughout the terrain, one would be hard-pressed to see an end to the carnage. Too right, because on the vast field, over 10,000 (10k) remnants of an allied military force laid unmoving, smearing the terrain like exterminated insects looking from afar; the alliance's(?) seemingly indomitable stand wiped out with contemptuous ease. And now, the cause of what felt like a genocide, well, main cause, roamed his royal amethyst eyes across the battlefield, scanning for any survivors. Always prepared, he generated a sonar-like wave of fine-tuned chakra from his body, which would pick up on any organism larger than the microscopic level with a pulse within a ten kilometre (10 km) radius. Finding none, he finally relaxed by a few degrees, a grim thin-lipped smile of satisfaction appearing on his refined visage. The reason why he was the main cause of this one-sided massacre and not the only reason became clear a few moments later, as the screams of enemies grew weaker with each passing second.


Meanwhile, a few kilometres in multiple locations, a team of kunoichis were systematically destroying their assigned nest of infestation.

A busty blonde was expertly slicing and dicing enemies apart with a chakra-formed blade with one hand, pulverising others with insane strength from the other, and still occasionally slamming her foot down onto the ground to generate shockwaves, all the better to more quickly kill her prey amidst their sudden disorientations.

A redhead was a whirlwind of motion as she wielded a katana like an extension of her body, ruthlessly cutting down her enemies. All the while, four chain-like projections out of her back were waving hypnotically around her, unpredictably stabbing, shearing apart, and causing strange phenomena upon her combatants with great and disturbing productivity.

Another redhead, though more auburn coloured, elegantly fought in her battle dress, effortlessly dishing out death with both taijutsu and ninjutsu. For extra sadistic fun, she would summon water molecules out of her involuntary torture subjects' blood and tissue, mix it with the freely available earth, send the resulting mud rocketing down their screaming throats, and finally roast them alive by baking the ingested mud under great duress with fire!

Finally, a lithe light blonde was spitting fireballs left and right, smoothly prancing between her defensive foes, then using chakra-formed claws to shred their flesh and even bones like hot knives passing through butter.

{List: Tsunade, Kushina, Mei, and Yugito}

To a neutral observer, seeing just a handful of people carving out bloody swaths out of an entire military force might seem barbaric and criminal(?). In which case, the offending Elemental Nations' propaganda efforts throughout the decades had to be, if nothing else, congratulated. Yet truth will always find a way. And the facts of their retribution would be ruthlessly disseminated throughout the world.

All in all, as the dust settled, four women appeared, each deadly as they were beautiful.

Now with their tasks completed, they turned to walk and steadily converged upon the location of the mystery man.


With his sharp eyes and incredible chakra detection skills, the killer with an overwhelming presence was able to easily pick out the four kunoichis' bodies and energy signatures.

Soon enough, the kunoichis' profiles came into relief, earning and drawing appreciative gazes from and towards both parties, respectively.

One of the woman made her intent to speak know. She had a long mane of silky crimson hair, done up in a high ponytail for combat, almond-shaped amethyst eyes, the exact same shade as the lone male in the present group, and a toned and curvaceous figure as all the other kunoichis present. As the second-in-command of the increasingly apparent unit, she softly stated to him, with eyes expressing undeniable pride, "Sochi-kun [0m], we did it. We've finally achieved our goal." Women all over the world would demand to know what she was having throughout her life, for the MILF did not look a day over 20 years old.

Said man, whose relation to the woman was now obvious, swept a hand through his slightly dishevelled crimson locks, reforming them into a slicked back fashion in a luscious mane with the sides and back cropped short. A single strand(?) of hair coming from the centre of his front hairline flopped forwards languidly, settling down in front of his forehead and between his eyes, stopping at the beginning of his sculpted nose [0n], as the Crimson Demon of Uzu chided good-naturedly at her. "Kaa-chan, did you forget that this only marks the end of the first stretch of the third phase of our plan? We still have one more to go~!"

Kushina's gently serious demeanour immediately shattered due to her darling son's light rebuke, her face flushing a rather adorable shade of pink. ߹Hmph߹ was her response as she turned childishly to the side, pouting to hide her embarrassment, reminding everyone present that despite her well-earned moniker as the Crimson Death Dealer and overcoming numerous episodes of hardship throughout her life, she still strove to maintain a positive outlook in life; only now her dream was finally within closing distance, thanks to the help from her cherished family beside her.

Amused by her second cousin's antics, the busty blonde coughed lightly, bringing the group's attention to her. "As we Uzumaki like to say, no worthwhile job is done until it's triple-checked. So let's head back to that wretched hive of treachery and malfeasance to bring about in its glorious destruction, shall we?"

Their leader gave them a look, stopping the women's progress. Turning to the auburn-haired woman beside him, Naruto affectionately held her hand and asked, "Hold down the fort for us while we will be gone, alright, Mei-chan?"

Mei Terumī, the Godaime Mizukage, unabashedly pressed herself into her lover, squashing her tremendous breasts into his muscular upper arm. "Of course, darling-kun." She easily replied, before lifting a sultry smirk and husked, "But to leave your Mei behind to oversee certain fiery destruction by her lonesome, I expect some extra thick and vigorous compensation~!"

More than used to his saucy minx's quirks, Naruto responded with a rough grab of her luscious booty and a scorching kiss before pulling away.

Pleasantly dazed, Mei almost missed the various twitching eyebrows, stink eyes, and amused glints displayed by the other women in response to her wiles before they and their fearless leader stepped into a portal willed into existence by him.


After watching the rest of the collective [0o] depart, the voluptuous Mizukage now walked with an extra bounce in her legs and sway in her childbearing-worthy hips, giving every heterosexual men and a whole lot of women stimulation overload… if they were still alive that was. Fortunately, or unfortunately, a lone survivor, who up until this point somehow managed to cling onto his mortal coil, pushed himself up from the ground with heroic effort, attempting to do her in.

Without even looking at him and still in her bouncy mood, Mei casually swatted out a glob of lava from her palm. The material, like a psychically-linked pet, obeyed its mistress's mental commands and stretched out like a steaming snake, creepily sliding and swerving towards its target with tremendous speed, one which even with him at tip-top shape would not have been able to avoid.

Barely a second later, the only other living ninjas on the battlefield, sans Mei, saw and heard a gruesome scene. The Konoha platoon, especially the men, watched morbidly with shaking bodies as the barely alive shinobi was impaled from root to stem [0p], his body grotesquely skewered around the now several stories high igneous rock. Even though the physically binding seals had disappeared by now, their fear still rooted them in place for multiple minutes until they gained enough sense to dash away like the hounds of hell.


== Hokage Tower, Konohagakure, Hi no Kuni, Jun. 14, 300 A.N. ==

In his office, Danzō Shimura glared murderously with his one visible beady eye at the report that one of his soldiers had sent to him in record time, as though willing the paper to spontaneously combust from the intensity of his baleful gaze alone. Even though he had now been the Rokudaime (6th) Hokage for approximately half a year now, achieving a long time ambition of his, he certainly did not feel powerful at the moment. Moreover, he had never been able to enjoy the top position of power in this village, not since the Uzumaki brat and his band of whores [0q] openly launched their war against entities on their kill list right in the middle of the 4SW, their powerful faction quickly becoming the third belligerent of the international conflict, in addition to the already established Akatsuki and the Allied Shinobi Forces (A.S.F.), although the latter had been on shaky grounds for a while now.

Having just finished reading about the A.S.F. Earth-based division forces' utter decimation at the hands of those traitors and whores, he heroically resisted the urge to throw a tantrum, even though most people probably would not fault the reaction of a holder of his current mantle.

As galling as it was to admit, the traitors had played him like a fool, giving no indications of their intent until one memorable day half a year ago.

⇝⇝⇝Flashback Begins

When Danzō awoke that morning, the then director of Root found a horrifying sight, that of the severed heads of his two most trusted subordinates, Torune Aburame and Fū Yamanaka, placed at the foot of his bed, their equally severed cocks shoved down their throats. While he was certainly disturbed, he was much more unsettled by the implications: his underground lair's byzantine defenses were somehow bypassed without any triggers, meaning the infiltrator(s) could have easily killed him, but chose not to. That view was given further weight when he looked down and saw that the bolts keeping his gauntlet seal closed around his implanted arm, and the treasures on it, deactivated, had been removed and placed neatly on his nightstand. He did not know how to feel at that moment, for a mix of negative emotions—fear, anger, and humiliation—were waging war for dominance inside his scheming mind.

Soon after, Hokage Sarutobi called for an emergency meeting, which was supposed to start once the Hokage, Elder Council, Clan heads, military division leaders, and members of the Civilian Council

His dear friend and rival, Hiruzen, also scalped

Flashback Ends⇜⇜⇜


X

The secret to competently ruling over a domain, besides good management and intangible leadership skills, as it turned out, was to always keeping a check on the leader's greed. Even though Naruto's will was iron-clad, it did not hurt that the bevy of beauties in his life proved more than enough to quesh the occasional nascent whispers for him to take more and more. Being the diligent student of history that he was, it became clear to him a long time ago that one of the common threads linking every seemingly indomitable realm's downfall was the vacuous drive for expansion. The rulers' reasons for doing so might have differed, ranging from the veneer, whether sincere or otherwise, to uplift yet-to-be-conquered savage lands, to absurd self-delusions of their so-called mandates of heaven, yet mismanagement and rot, like clockwork, began to strangle their systems. Too many people to rule over; too many mouths to feed; too many squabbles to mediate; and too many snakes in the grass to constantly watch out for. So no, Naruto and his wives were content

{Attaining godhood? Maybe with Amaterasu?} {Kaguya?} {Kushina still would not tell who Naruto's father was, only offering a mysterious smile and a cryptic line that he was someone that Naruto would definitely approve of.}


X

⠎⠑⠭Sex Scene⠎⠑⠭

Finally sated, the naked collective laid on the massive bed in the {ruler's} bedchamber, with Naruto in the middle, [a] pressed into his left, [b] his right, and [c] still impaled on his still semi-hard cock, fucked stupid expressions on all of their faces. Absent-mindedly stroking the hair and booty of the two beauties by his side and flexing his cock inside [c, making them moan whorishly, Naruto contemplated what new goals they should pursue with their immortal lives. With


{Naruto paid his debts to Konoha - balanced scale first.}

{Rsv. List: Mito, Ank, Yugao, Mikoto, Kurenai}

{Flipped Kurenai. Watching Kurenai kill Asuma.}


©️ Hadrian von Eveschatten, 2020


End Author's Notes

When I started with this story, I wanted to immediately have Naruto jump into the TMU. However, what was supposed to be a brief flashback from Naruto's PoV after being summoned exploded into its own chapter as the story prologue. I simply had too much fun and could not help myself. Defilement of the F/sn canon will start in Chapter 1.

{Well, that satisfies my butchering of Shirou for now.}

I do not know why I chose Kiba to be made such a brutal example out of. Okay, well, I do have a slight reason, and that is I have always been mildly put off by his personality in the canon. Originally, I did not even plan to write that scene, but then I thought the overall battle scene was too short, so I picked some opponent at random. And he turned out to the sacrifice.

{Opening AN for Ch. 01: I already planned to jump straight into the TMU.}


Footnotes

[0a] While the Narutoverse obviously has no concept of the Gregorian calendar, I simply cannot be bothered to invent one for this story. Also, I have no idea how the common calendar year structure in it is set up, so I just picked an educated guess of a figure, 300 years A.N. A.N. stands for Age of Ninshū, which began since the Sage of Six Paths introduced his philosophy to the world.

[0b] «ja» and «en» are the ISO 639-1 (language codes) standards for their jutsu names' Japanese and English equivalents, respectively. This is a one-time explanation, so further usages of ISO 639-1 codes will not prompt further explanations.

[0c] The jutsu names are browsed from the Narutopedia Category:Jutsu page.

[0d] For anyone confused about two present tense sentences appearing in a story written in the past tense, do not be. These sentences are generally true statements; as such, they are written in the present tense. For example, one would not say one plus one equalled two.

[0e] Dudley from the Street Fighter franchise may not appreciate his catchline being used in this fashion.

[0f] I cannot find it in the official definitions for 'omega', but the contextual meaning in this sentence is the same as the one in "I am the Alpha and the Omega." from the «Book of Revelation». While I am an atheist, I do not hesitate to credit religious work for artistic and cultural inspirations when they are due.

[0g] I cannot find the exact legal and political arrangements between a hidden ninja village and its host state, therefore, I am taking some creative liberties and stating the following: Legally, ninjas of a hidden village is also a citizen of its host state. And while a kage does politically answer to the head of state, except in the domains of national security, the hidden village is run as an autonomous polity.

[0h] For military personnel ranks, I am just going with the standard NATO military rank hierarchy.

[0i] Hmm… I wonder whom I can be referring to.

[0j] It is like the so called American Dream is something of an intrinsically unique aspiration to U.S. citizens only. Truly pompous and ridiculous.

[0k] Along with using a word popularised by the late H. P. Lovecraft, it is also an unfortunate coincidence that the vagueness of the thing's description style is similar to Lovecraft's own cosmic horror physical description deficit, one of the few arguable critiques of his work.

[0l] To the prolific readers, yes, this takedown is sparingly inspired by a certain scene from tibo's most excellent, though sadly seemingly abandoned, story, «Iga Naruto».

[0m] I have read several Naruto fanfiction where Kushina refers to Naruto as "sochi". Even for a reasonable smart person ignorant of Japanese, the context makes it clear that the word means something like "darling son". However, when I did a quick search for the word, none of the definitions has anywhere a meaning close to it. Therefore, if any reader is knowledgeable in Japanese, feel free to tell me whether I used the right phrase.

[0n] Another of my pet peeves is the fact that canon!Naruto looks like Minato's younger clone. Being an Uzumaki and not having crimson hair was already a highly dubious decision on Kishimoto's part. The fact that he is almost completely ignorant about fūinjutsu should have result in 'Uzumaki' stripped from his name. Anyhow, my Naruto looks unabashedly similar to post-reveal Aizen from Bleach, but with crimson hair and amethyst eyes.

[0o] Even though it has been multiple years at this point, I still thank megamatt09 for converting me to using 'collective' instead of 'harem'.

[0p] I ain't talking about vegetables here. ;)

[0q] Know that each scene is written from the appropriate PoV, so no bitching, please.

[0ω] To to manga and anime logic, which is to say no logic, the technological levels of the various devices and equipment in the Narutoverse are all over the place. So to make things consistent, I am setting technological development at this point to our world's 2nd Industrial Revolution (2.I.R.) (elaborate).