"Edd, calm down. Tord wouldn't run away." Matt grumbled, glaring at the frantic brunette. Edd had been listing off possible negative outcomes since he heard about the letter tord left.

"He might! Think about it, he's been distancing himself lately. He doesn't talk to tom as much, AND he left a letter with a TIME!" Edd babbled, pacing back and forth.

"B-but he's my best friend! why….. Why would he leave us? Did I do something?" Tom whimpered softly, seeming even more distressed. Matt grabbed the envelope from the coffee table and tossed it to tom.

"Open it, Im telling you he's not running away," Matt said. Tom smiled, tearing it open. He began reading it aloud.

"To whoever finds this letter -If you are reading this... I'm a-already de-dead" tom choked on a sob. Matt snatched the paper from his hands.

"Knowing you guys, you've opened it early. Well, I've prepared for this. You can't save me, please don't try. I don't want you to have to see the aftermath. I've written my will, and I have been planning this for a very long time. Years, I dealt with the voices in my head for years. They won, I can no longer take it. I'm so sorry you had to deal with me for so long. I wish i could've been a better friend. Goodbye."

Matt looked extremely disturbed, tears threatening to fall. Edd stared off into space, tears silently falling. Tom covered his mouth with his hands, muffling broken sobs. No one knew what to say or how to react.

"There's an address. Maybe there's still a chance" matt breathed, fighting not to let his voice waver. Edd startled, jerking his head to the ginger. Tom nodded, trying to calm sobs that clawed at his throat. He stood, a determined look on his face despite the tears that continued to fall.

"W-we have to! Tord is our friend, he c-can't -" his voice shook and broke at simply the thought of their friend dying. Matt agreed, rubbing his eyes harshly. They wasted no more time, sprinting out the door.

"I know where to go, follow me!" Matt yelled, sparing a glance behind him. 'You better be alive!' He thought desperately. God, matt prayed that they wouldn't arrive to find his mangled corpse. There had to be time, tord couldn't die like this.

Finally, they arrived at a tall apartment building. Tom rushed towards the door, screaming over his shoulder. "I'm going up! Call someone in case this goes south!"

Tom tripped multiple times racing up the stairs, heart beating out of his chest. 'Please God, tord be okay. I can't lose you' he thought, tears burning paths down his face. Why hadn't he noticed? Tord was his best friend, it was Toms's job to notice he was hurting like this.

Reaching the top, tom slammed the door open. Standing on the other side of the railing was a figure in red. "TORD!" Tom sobbed, staggering slightly. He was so very tired from running, and only adrenaline was keeping him from collapsing.

Silver eyes met empty sockets as tord turned to face him, face scarily void of any emotions."You weren't supposed to see this," he said calmly, turning around fully and holding onto the railing. Tom want to vomit.

"T-tord. Please don't. I d-don't know why you're doing this but-but please don't jump." Tom choked out, gripping his pastel blue sweater with a death grip. Tord chuckled, fucking chuckled.

"Why shouldn't I? What, 'so much to live for?" He smiled softly, making the pit in his stomach grow. "I'm sorry Tom, but I don't. I have nothing to show but my scars and tears. I have done NOTHING right in my whole life! And now"

Tord let go of the rail to hold his arms out beside him, a wide smile on his face. "Now I'm going to do at least one thing right. I love you tom" with that, Tord leaned back, allowing gravity to do its work.

"NO!" Tom sprinted, managing to grab his wrist, just barely. His stomach pressed painfully against the metal bar but that was the least of Tom's concerns. Tord looked up at him in shock, tears escaping silver eyes. Tom began to speak, trying desperately to pull the Norwegian up. "You're wrong! You have plenty to live for, you do plenty right. You HAVE me! You MAKE me happy! I c-can't live without you tord, d-don't leave me. I-i Love you!"

Tom wailed brokenly, praying that he had enough strength. Damn it! Why wasn't he stronger? Tord looked down for a moment before looking back at tom, Terror in his eyes but a warm comforting smile on his lips. "I'm sorry Thomas"

Tords wrist slipped from Toms grip, sending him plummeting to the ground.

"He's in surgery. He won't be accepting visitors for a while now." A nurse said softly to the three. She was a solemn look on her face. "We will call you if anything happens or when he is stable enough to accept visitors."

"T-thank you" matted mumbled, voice horse. The young woman gave one final smile before walking away. The three males just sat there for a few more minutes before matt finally spoke. "We should head home. There's no point in being here if we can't even see him. And he would want us to take care of ourselves."

Toms sniffed, standing on weak legs. Edd helped him walk as they left the building. Not wanting to walk, Matt called them a taxi. It was a surprisingly silent ride to their home, everyone in their own little world.

Edd found it hard to unlock the front door, his hands shaking sporadically. He finally managed to shove the key into the keyhole, opening the door with a little more force than was necessary.

Without a word, they all went to their respective rooms, blatantly ignoring the fourth door. Edd's softly closed his door, sliding to the floor. He shook, tears flowing like waterfalls, but not a sound left his lips. Drawing his knees to his chest, edd cried silently.

Tord was one of his best friends, having known him since childhood. Seeing like that, so broken. Being forced to watch as his body made contact with the ground, that sickening crunch of bones and flesh being broken and crushed. It sent a shiver through his spin. Edd friend until his tears ran out until his world faded to black as sleep overcame his tired mind. The sounds of sobs drifting through his walls barely registering in his mind, or when they stopped

Matt slammed his door, hot angry tears spilling down his face. He hated it. Hated crying, showing any weaknesses. Even so, he couldn't stop himself now. Matt dropped to his knees, images flashed in his mind. Blood, wide clouded silver eyes, broken bones stabbing through pale skin. It was all so sickening. He gripped his shirt, soft sobs shaking his body. Tord was always the innocent one of the group, now whom he vowed his life for the day he met him. Always so small, even if he was the second tallest.

Matt always suspected that something was wrong, but never said anything. He should've. Now tord was fighting for a life he no longer wanted and it pained matt. The ginger didn't remember passing out, it just happened.

Tom closed his door, stumbling to his bed as a sob clawed its way up his throat. Tom could hardly breathe, and it took him a moment to realize that the ugly screams were him. The Brit never liked his crying.

Tord, his best friend in the whole wide world and long-time crush. Feeling first arose in their freshman year of high school, and only got worse as time went on. Tom couldn't bear the thought of losing tord and wasn't afraid to admit he loved him.

Tom should've noticed, should've been quicker. If he was faster, he could've stopped him before he jumped. If he was stronger, he could've pulled tord up. Tord said he was a failure, but in reality, Tom was the failure. His throat burned and his voice was hoarse.

Hours pasted as he cried. Cried until he could no longer. Tom stared blankly at his pastel walls, reminding him of the happiness he may never have again. Sleep did not come to the brunette as he lay in silence.

Finally, the clock reading 4:30 am, tom stood on shaking legs. He wandered out into the hall, leaning on the wall for support. He stumbled into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge. He found something he didn't even know they owned, a bottle of Smirnoff. Shrugging, Tom grabbed it. He took a swig, cringing as it burned his throat.

"First time for everything I guess" he mumbled, taking another swig. If you told tom tord yesterday he'd be standing in the kitchen at 4 am getting drunk he'd probably laugh, yet here he was. His "eyes" drifting around the kitchen, landing on a small knife.

Feeling the alcohol take effect, tom set the bottle down on the counter, grabbing the knife and rolling up his sleeve. "What's the big deal…?" He slurred, bringing the knife to his wrist. Messily, he sliced the skin, hissing out in pain. Tom watched as crimson dripped onto the white counter. He made another cut, then another. He took another swig of Smirnoff, watching the blood pool with intent interest.

"T-tom…?" Look up, tom met the horrified gaze of Matt.

"M' Feeling like fuckin shit" he slurred, not caring at all. Matt moved quickly to take both the knife and alcohol from drunk.

"T-tom. You're drunk… And bleeding. Come on, let's get you bandaged up" matt stuttered, placing the items out of toms reach. Tom stuck out his tongue, stubbornly staying in his seat.

With a pained sigh, matt grabbed Toms's uninjured wrist, leading him to the bathroom. "Sit… sit here" he muttered, grabbed some gauze. Tom pouted, sitting down on the toilet lid. Matt was silent as he wrapped toms cut. "Why…?" He breathed, keeping his head down.

"Wanted to see why he did it so much" Tom shrugged, hiccuping. Matt said nothing, rubbing his eyes before standing. They both ignored the others red and puffy eyes.

"Promise me you won't… do that again?" Matt said quietly, staring at tom with pleading eyes. The drunk nodded, a yawn escaping him.

"Promise" he muttered, retreating to his room and collapsing into bed.