Author's Note: Honestly, I'm surprised no one's made a Hazbin Hotel/Beetlejuice crossover yet. Guess I'm the first.
The first part of this chapter was inspired by a video created by Austin Kalista who's given me permission to use it.
Any and all comments are welcome.
It's been a week since I've announced my new hotel, and aside from my girlfriend, still no one supports my belief of rehabilitating demons. I opened up this hotel in order to make Hell a better place where we don't have to commit genocide every year to reduce overpopulation. Our first guest, the porn actor Angel Dust, only signed in for a free place to stay, and he hasn't really given an effort. I was beginning to give up… but then something happened. The Radio Demon himself, Alastor, came to my door and offered to help run the hotel. Of course, he only wants to see us fail in trying to redeem others for his own amusement, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt anyway. So far, he's hired two new employees, Nifty for housecleaning and Husk for the front desk, and for some reason, he renamed our Happy Hotel to the Hazbin Hotel. We've been through some changes, but I have a feeling that our business will boom and I'll prove my dad wrong. We can find the good in everyone and…"
Charlie stopped writing in her diary when she heard two soft knocks coming from the other side of her door. What followed was a male voice that sounded like it came from a very old radio announcer.
"Oh, Charlie! I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your business partner by coming in anyway!"
Using the white, furry spider demon's very own head, the red-suited Radio Demon shattered Charlie's door into pieces with one blow. Angel Dust escaped Alastor's grip trying to shake off his dizziness.
"When you said you were going to ram me, this is NOT what I had in mind!" Angel Dust complained.
"Really? Because that's exactly what I had in mind." Alastor laughed. "Don't be such a sourpuss. Speaking of, Vaggie called. She wants a staff meeting or something."
Charlie sighed as she closed her diary. "Okay. I'll be right down."
Vaggie didn't look happy waiting at the round table in the middle of the lobby. Charlie sat next to her waiting for the chance to calm her down if she went into a rage. Alastor sat next to Charlie. Then, Angel Dust, Niffty, and Husk.
"What's up, buttercup?" Angel asked.
Vaggie pulled out a small book and opened it up revealing a large set of numbers.
"It's been less than a month since we started this hotel, and we're already in a financial crisis."
"Really?" Charlie asked. "How?"
"Well, let's take a look." Vaggie turned the book back to her and looked into it. "Let's start with Husk. He's cleaned out shelves of alcohol bottles, which we never even asked for. Because of that, I was forced to use our expenses to purchase a new shipment."
"Don't hate the drinker. Love the drink. That's my motto." Husk said.
"And Niffty is demanding a raise already."
"Sorry about that. It's just that I've had to put in a looooooooooooooooooot of effort in Mr. Dust's room."
"Which brings me to that. Apparently, we have to replace literally every square inch of Angel's room which has been defiled by the others that he… invites."
"…I'm not apologizing." Angel said.
"Lastly, we still haven't fixed that pothole that Alastor made when he chased out that snake, Pentious."
"In my defense, he interrupted my number, so I got his." Alastor said.
"I do see the problem though." Charlie said. "At this rate, I don't see any way we can keep this hotel afloat."
"Good." Husk said. "I didn't want to be here anyway."
"Don't be like that, Charlie." Alastor said. "Remember, I promised to help this hotel as much as I could."
"You're only helping so you can watch us fail at redeeming sinners." Vaggie said.
"That doesn't mean I won't help." Alastor said. "Trust me. I've got some strings I can pull to fix this much debt."
"That's all well and good now, pimp," Angel said, "But what about me? What do I get out of this?"
"You mean besides a free room?" Charlie asked.
"That didn't stop me before." Angel said. "I still gotta answer the needs of my many creepy fans. Here." He pulled out a white envelope. "Just got this today." He used his finger to unseal the top and pulled out the piece of paper. "Now, this guy says…" His expression changed from excited to confused. "Now, this is new. If this is some kind of strange fetish, I've never heard of it, and that's saying something."
"We don't have time for this." Vaggie said.
"Now, now." Alastor interrupted. "I for one am quite curious. What does the letter say?"
"Well, it says," Angel read, "Beetlejuice…"
"Wait? What?" Vaggie asked widening her one good eye.
"NO!" Vaggie screamed. "DON'T!"
Suddenly, the entire room turned dark. A spotlight was shining in the middle of the lobby. And right in the center of the spotlight was a new man. He was a very pale man with green, messy hair and rotten teeth. He had on a suit with black and white stripes and black shoes.
The striped man clapped his hands to bring the lights back on. He then dashed toward the Princess of Hell while materializing a red beret over his messy, green hair. "Enchante, Madame Charlotte. I must say, you truly have your mother's beauty."
Vaggie reached for her spear and used it to keep the man from her girlfriend. "Stay away from her! Charlie, you gotta banish him!"
"Whoa, girl! No need to get hasty! I'm just teasin'. If you're that sensitive about it, we can still make it a three-way."
Vaggie snarled aggressively and kicked the man in the face sending him right at Alastor's feet.
"Hahaha." The Radio Demon laughed. "Oh, Beetlejuice, I see you haven't changed."
"Hey, Alastor, my main maniac." The man called Beetlejuice greeted as he jumped back to his feet. "I heard you were helping run this Shining setting. From lunacy to luggage."
"I can do both."
"Charlie," Vaggie whispered, "You gotta say his name three times before he causes too much damage."
"Hold on a second." Angel said. "Who's this wacko?"
"Seriously?" Vaggie asked. "Come on. Read up. That's Beetlejuice."
"So… he's another Overlord?"
"Not exactly." Charlie said. "You see, Beetlejuice was a prime candidate to fill a vacant position in the Pentagram, but when my dad offered it to him, he turned it down."
"No one knows. But he's a special kind of demon with certain rules. For one thing, he has access to the living world, but only when someone there says his name three times in a row. He also can't enter any establishment owned by anyone in my family unless he's summoned with the same method."
"Clearly, he sent that letter to you knowing you'd be stupid enough to read it out loud." Vaggie added. "Now, we need to banish him. Charlie, you're the princess of Hell, so you can force him out by saying his name."
Beetlejuice heard that and dropped to his knees in front of the girls. "Now, now, girls! I think you're misinterpreting my visit."
"Oh, really?" Vaggie asked. "Then why are you here?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Beetlejuice asked. "I wanna check in."
"…Huh?" Charlie asked.
"You heard me." Beetlejuice said. "When I heard about a hotel that helps demons become better and sends them to Heaven, I rushed on over here. Unfortunately, I couldn't get through the front door, so I had to resort to trickery."
"You wanna be a better person?" Alastor asked before giving a hysterical laugh. "Beetlejuice, we've been pulling pranks on each other for decades, and that's honestly one of your funniest."
"No joke this time." Beetlejuice said. "Cross my heart."
"You're not even alive." Vaggie said.
"Hold on." Charlie said. "Beetlejuice, why do you want to be redeemed. Every other demon doesn't even want to give it a chance. Besides, you're Hell-born just like me. It won't work like that."
"How do you know that?" Beetlejuice asked. "Every other shmuck lived their lives, made some bad choices, and ended up here. Me, I never had a life. I never had a chance."
"Charlie, he's avoiding the question." Vaggie said. "You can't trust him."
"How could you not trust this face?" Beetlejuice pouted showing off his grotesque, pale, wrinkly face.
"Charlie, I know you let Alastor help run this place," Vaggie said, "But inviting this pervert is just pushing your luck. If the Radio Demon won't ruin us, this guy certainly will."
Charlie gave it a hard thought. "I know. I don't exactly believe him when he says he wants to change, but I have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Even if the odds are he's tricking us, I need to take a leap of faith."
"You sure you're Lucy's kid?" Beetlejuice asked.
Vaggie sighed and put her spear away. "You always want to see the best in people, hon. That's why I love you."
"Thanks." Charlie turned her head back to Beetlejuice. "If you're serious, you need to know that our hotel has some strict rules. For example, you can't harm anyone. That means no getting involved with the turf war. If you have any weapons, turn them in."
Beetlejuice pulled out a coin purse, opened it up, and turned it over. Suddenly, a whole arsenal fell out. Swords, guns, poisonous flowers, snakes, gas. It all ended with a tiny cherry bomb.
"Holy smokes." Charlie said.
"You like it? I got the baby sand snake from the Netherworld."
"All right then. Now, you wait here while I get the guest book." Charlie walked away.
Vaggie leaned in to the striped demon. "Just so you know, if you do anything to harm Charlie in any way, I'll kill you myself."
"Is she always like this?" Beetlejuice asked.
"Pretty much." Alastor answered. "You know, BJ…"
"BJ?" Angel Dusk asked excitedly. Alastor delivered a smack towards the porn star for that comment.
"You're actually one of the few demons that I can never predict." Alastor continued. "So when you say you want to check in for redemption, I can't make heads or tails for your motivation. What's the deal?"
"Sorry, FM-station." Beetlejuice said. "That's for me to know and you to not care because I know you find this very fun."
"True." Alastor said chuckling.
"So…" Niffty asked, "Should we have said something?"
"Ain't our problem." Husk answered.
Charlie returned with the guest book. So far, the book only had a small handful of names written in it, but Beetlejuice took out a pen, smiled, and signed in his signature. And just like that, he became the first official guest of the Hasbin Hotel.
"Now," Beetlejuice said, "Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose."