Surprise, motherfuckers!

I realized after almost 1000 words that this fic mentions a football game but ALSO takes place in the buttfuck middle of July. It's post-COVID though...whenever the hell that is, so we can just assume that, in this AU, the sports seasons are fucked beyond recognition(much like everything else in this modern world).

This thing was supposed to go out a lot earlier, too. It really was. But lately, whatever higher power out there has been treating me like I'm a piñata and they are a troubled 13-year-old wielding a baseball bat on their birthday. And that 13-year-old has some serious EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.

Let's just say I've learned that there is no God. Only cranberry juice and COVID :)

Ah, well. I digress. Just go on and enjoy the story~

Due to the fact that your narrator's inner demons just keep giving her more ideas for these damn things, our next one-shot takes place on a warm summer evening in July.

The sun was not too far from setting beneath the horizon, bathing the grand city of LA in a warm yellowish, glow. There was a light breeze to accompany the summer heat, making the outside air just bearable enough to walk around in, despite the scorching ball of fire hanging overhead.

Plenty of folks were getting out that day, spending the rest of their evening taking in some fresh air, or just leaving the house for the hell of it while the weather was still this damn beautiful. Which, by chance, just so happens to be what our two protagonists are up to in this grand old fic.

One of the county's most honorable and respected judges, Jonas Laski, was currently dragging another member of LA's esteemed judicial personnel, Albert Campbell, into his garage by the sleeve of his sweater.

"Oh come on! It'll be fun!" He told a doubtful-looking judge Campbell, grabbing his spare helmet and tossing it to the man. Jonas then shrugged on his favored leather jacket from where he held it in the crook of one arm.

"I don't know, Jonas. I don't think I've ever done anything like this before..." Albert told the other judge, sparing a lingering glance to the motorcycle helmet in his hands, apprehension visible in his features. The sandy-haired judge was acting as if he were being pressured into bungee jumping off of the fucking Empire State.

"And? There's gotta be a first time for everything, you know." The bald man retorted as he finished buttoning the sleek black jacket. With quite a spring in his step, Jonas then bounded to the corner of his rather spacious garage to open the large door that separated the area from the outside world before turning his attention to the red Harley Davidson that sat in the middle of the room.

"I just don't think it's the best idea. I've never ridden something so small," Campbell went on, continuing to stare at Laski's motorcycle with concern. His bald companion just hopped onto the shiny, mechanical object, obviously unwilling to take no for an answer. "Can't we just go back inside and finish watching the game?"

True, Jonas had been the one to pull Albert off his comfortable spot on the man's couch and away from the Cheeto Puffs and pretzels they'd been scarfing down whilst watching the Chicago Bears get absolutely crushed by the Eagles in order to coerce the man into taking a ride with him on that metallic monstrosity. And, not to mention the sudden interruption of his enjoyment of Jonas's air-conditioned living room. Which, with each passing second the hot California air blew against his face, he was really beginning to miss.

"What for? We both know who's gonna win this one! And the fact that they're still even trying at all is starting to depress me." Laski retorted from where he was keeping the bike standing, having gotten his keys out and ready to go. On literally anybody else, his whole hardened biker look would have appeared pretty damn intimidating, between the man's tough leather jacket and boot cut jeans. It was all tied together, of course, with the decent-sized Harley he was sitting in the driver's seat of, and the jet-black helmet he kept in one hand.

All of this, though, had been canceled out completely by the bald judge's kind, dark eyes and the hopeful look on his face as he continued his fight in persuading Albert to come with him.

And that smile. That damn smile.

He knew it was cliche, but in that stupid garage of his, as he sat on that stupid glorified bicycle, Albert just couldn't help but note how bright the other man's big, toothy grin could get. It was contagious, the damn thing, and he was pretty sure that the harsh rays that best down on the hot pavement outside couldn't compete.

And, frankly, Jonas's smile made his heart beat like a trailer park husband.

Consequently, the other judge began to feel his unwillingness break down like a cheap hip replacement.

"Hop on, Albert," Laski implored once more, now giving the other judge puppy eyes from his seat on the motorcycle. He looked as if Campbell would be allowing his entire family to get slaughtered by refusing to go with him.

"Please? Just this one time?"

The sandy-haired judge let out a sigh, shrugging his shoulders in acknowledgment of the fact that he knew he'd feel like a complete and total asshole if he just kept on saying no. He shook his head slightly as he gave that red mechanical beast another cautious once over before admitting to his defeat.

"Alright, fine. But only to make you quit badgering me!" Albert teased the man lightly, putting another one of those bright, toothy smiles on his face. The sight to Albert was like watching an old bitch named Barbara getting bitch-slapped after threatening the life of some poor, tired Starbucks employee who just had the audacity to give her a grande pumpkin spice latte instead of a venti one.

He walked up to the small motor vehicle then, clambering into the back seat behind Jonas. He held his breath for a good moment, fully prepared for the damn thing to just topple over from their combined weight.

It didn't, though, and Albert was soon met with the sight of his bald companion covering his fat head with the motorcycle helmet he'd been holding in one arm. The beige haired judge mirrored the action before grabbing onto the sides of his leather jacket pretty awkwardly, not quite sure of how to brace himself for the ride.

But of course, Jonas had other ideas. It seemed to be the basis of their entire little get together.

"Relax, Soup Boy. I don't bite...much," he told Albert, his words uttered from beneath the thick black helmet. Jonas moved his hands to both of Albert's then, holding them as he guided the other man to wrap his arms around his waist. The other man tensed up slightly, suddenly all too aware of how close he was to his companion. He began to feel even hotter in the summer heat with the feeling of Jonas's solid, leather-clad abdomen beneath his hands.

"Hold on tight!" Jonas announced to him as he stuck his key into the ignition. The loud rumbling of the motorcycle's engine filled Campbell's ears in half a second. He could feel the sounds of the obnoxious red machine reverberating in the hard material of his helmet.

His arms tightened significantly as they pulled out of the driveway, clinging to Jonas like a lifeline as they picked up speed. The bald man managed to shut his garage door with the remote bound to his keychain in order to keep any potential murderers from entering the house as they ventured off into the busy streets of LA.

And Albert was rather quick to discover that highway riding on a motorcycle was not his forté. At all.

Sure, it was exhilarating. He could give his companion that. The wind rippling through his clothes. The high speeds making him feel almost as though he was flying. The various sights and sounds of an even bigger variety of spots throughout the bold California city, which passed him by at quite a daunting pace.

Even so, it was all outweighed by the invasive thought of falling right off and getting hit by an oncoming vehicle or being crushed by the significantly larger cars and trucks that surrounded them on the freeway, filling the 5 lanes to the brim. From the moment they made it off of the residential streets, Albert felt his heart speed up by a good twenty or thirty extra beats as he clung to his companion even more.

Albert felt his stomach drop a bit, too, with each and every sharp turn or small pothole they were met with, just waiting for the damn thing to overturn at any given moment. He even took one arm from around Laski's waist fleetingly and gave him a light smack on his helmet when the traffic thinned out and the balder judge got cocky, throwing a few extra swerves into their path just for the hell of it.

But for the sake of his best friend and valued colleague, who merely wanted to share his love of barreling down the city streets at formidable speeds with the wind at his face—Albert could take a good 20 or so minutes of feeling like he was gonna die with ease.

He wasn't too sure how much time had passed when they got back down onto the streets, between fearing for his life and gripping the tough leather of Laski's jacket until his knuckles turned white. But by the time they'd reached a stoplight somewhere not too far from the man's house, the sun was already halfway down, painting the sky above with a hundred different shades of orange, red, and violet.

"May I ask where we're going? Or were you just planning on driving me out to the desert to die so you can steal all the popularity back at work?" Campbell teased him, his words muffled through his helmet. Jonas took a hand off the handlebar of his Harley, patting the back of the man's own from where he was still holding on.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, Biscuit. I know a place." He could tell from the lilt in Jonas's voice that he was smiling under that helmet. The light turned green then, and the bald judge returned his grip to both handlebars as they sped back off into the sunset.

And no, Jonas didn't just dump his trusted colleague in some desert somewhere to survive off scorpions and rat carcasses. Nor did they get blindsided by a truck, or succumb to any of the 5 thousand other adverse scenarios that'd been kicking around Albert's head from the moment they got on the road.

Instead, they just drove for a little bit longer, the vibrant colors of the sunset reflecting off of their helmets as Jonas took them down some windy roads, up some hills, and across some back streets here and there. And before they knew it, our two fanatical judges made it up to what Albert had to presume was the man's unique little surprise.

The sandy-haired judge marveled at the scene before him, even through the thick tinted motorcycle helmet.

The place in question that Jonas had mentioned turned out not to be some dusty old wasteland, but rather a magnificent, yet unexpectedly empty viewpoint at the very top of one particularly tall hill.

There wasn't a soul in sight, not even the usual annoying tourists you'd find in a quiet spot like that, which typically consisted of a family of 8 letting their kids run wild, screaming and acting like complete crackheads while their parents kick back and drink beer in the otherwise peaceful scene.

Hell, one would never have even been able to decipher the fact that it was a public viewpoint without the small, barren parking lot nearby. No signs, no advertisements, no nothin'.

But the view.

Campbell soon found himself hopping off of the motorcycle almost as soon as Laski had parked it, his legs still shaky from the exhilarating ride over. He pulled off his helmet, holding it in one hand as he took in the sight before him, standing not too far away from where Jonas was retrieving his keys from the ignition.

The sun had dipped best more than halfway beneath the horizon, illuminating the cityscape in front of it in a soft orange glow. Skyscrapers glistened in the sunlight and cars looked like they'd been made for ants from such a distance on the vast highways further in front. Houses that were part of the suburban areas littered beyond the big city were lit up, their windows flooded with warm, artificial light as their residents prepared for their evening activities.

And the temperature had died down quite a bit on account of the quickly setting sun, making the air delightfully warm, but not so warm as to make you wanna kill yourself. A warm summer breeze gently ruffled the leaves of the nearby trees, along with the feathery beige hair that sat on top of Campbell's head.

He felt like he could see everything from up there. Of course, it was only a small portion of Los Angeles, let alone the entire globe he was staring at through piercing blue eyes, awestruck. But even so, Albert felt as if he were marveling at the entire world from up on that hill.

Jonas came up to stand beside his companion then, reveling in the vastness of it all.

"Still wanna head back and finish watching the game?" He teased lightly, taking in the wondrous expression on Campbell's face as he continued to appreciate the view. The other judge turned his head then, briefly acknowledging Laski's place on the hill before turning his attention back to the LA skyline.

"It's a beautiful view, Jonas..." Albert said after a sigh, still looking down at everything before him.

"Gorgeous." Jonas replied, his tone softer now than the entire time they'd been together.

But his dark, coffee-stained eyes weren't fixed on the large metropolitan expanse in front of him. No doubt, they were glued to the man next to him, taking in his appearance. His face was colored in the warm light from the setting sun, making his bright blue eyes gleam like two expertly cut diamonds.

And Laski couldn't bite back the wry smile that crept onto his face when he got to his hair.

Albert had just about the worst case of helmet hair the man had ever seen. He couldn't help but bring a hand up to run it through the man's light, feathery down, smoothing it out a bit as he did.

He turned his head to look at Jonas then, just as the man was occupying himself with caressing the back of his head, taming the few persistent cowlicks he found there. Blue eyes searched brown, and for a fleeting moment, the world seemed to stop on its axis. The only meaningful thing to the pair had seemed to be each other's company, and the wonderful view they'd been savoring together.

Jonas stepped closer then, holding Albert's head in both hands as he turned completely to face him, dropping the motorcycle helmet he'd been holding to make a soft thunk against the grass beneath their feet.

Feeling his pulse begin to quicken and not knowing at all where his head was at, Jonas pulled the other judge into a soft kiss with a hand on his jaw. Wholeheartedly, he expected Campbell to just shove him away in a second, leaving him to drive home by himself, feeling like a complete and total idiot all the while his former friend called himself an Uber. There was no question that he'd be the laughingstock back at work, known as a complete and total weirdo, a sad, strange little man who kisses all his colleagues goodnight after watching some Sunday Night Football.

And, for a moment, Albert found himself frozen against the other man's lips. And just before Jonas could pull away and apologize like mad, he kissed him back, wrapping his arms around his waist just as he'd done before on that motorcycle.

He was met with an agreeable sigh from Jonas as the kiss deepened and the bald man continued to play with his soft, tan hair with one hand, his other still caressing his jaw.

A plethora of hidden wants and needs were unleashed as their tongues battled for dominance in the dry summer heat. The two men were outlined by the bright glow from the lowering ball of flame behind them. Campbell unbuttoned the other judge's leather jacket, reaching his hands underneath to stroke his sides. Jonas tore his mouth away after he had his fill of the man's lips, turning his attention to Campbell's neck, nipping and kissing the delicate skin he found there.

A quiet moan escaped Albert's lips as he tilted his head up a bit, allowing Jonas greater access as he continued to familiarize himself with the soft skin that lie at the side of his throat. He worked his way up to the man's ear, nipping at the lobe, caressing it gently with his teeth. The action sent sparks through his fellow judge, his stomach filling with butterflies as a dizzying amount of pleasure threatened to overtake him. He began to pant as Jonas turned his attention back to his neck, sucking hard on a particular spot, working on leaving a little mark there.

The sensation of Jonas's lips on him must have gotten just a bit too overpowering, because before he knew it, Albert was sent stumbling backwards a bit, tripping over his motorcycle helmet from where it'd been dropped. He was still clutching the bald man's sides, feeling his way around to his back, causing the poor, worked up judge to fall right on top of him.

Jonas yelped as his nose bumped hard against Albert's jaw on the way down. He pulled back to look at the man, a dark blush coloring his cheeks as he acknowledged their current position. They were flush against each other by now; Hell, Jonas could even feel Albert's hot breath against his chin with each one he took.

The other man's face was soon colored in a similar shade of crimson as they both seemed to realize just what they'd been doing and how frantically they'd been doing it. Campbell reached one hand up to caress the side of the bald man's face, stroking a rosy cheek with his thumb as he leaned into the touch.

"I sure hope you don't kiss everybody you bring to this special little spot." He teased softly, a certain fondness shining in those lovely bright eyes of his. Jonas chuckled softly, bringing a hand to cover the one currently holding his face, running his fingers over the back of it in a warm and gentle caress.

"Only the really handsome ones with pretty blue eyes and a ridiculous fear of highway riding..." Laski replied, his tone soft and suggestive. He lowered his own mouth down to meet Campbell's once more in another sweet kiss, his hands moving to hold the man's head once more, gently scratching his scalp as he let out another contented sigh.

Jonas pulled away after many, many moments, clambering off of the other judge, helping Albert sit up to catch whatever remained of the sunset. And there wasn't much left, either. By now, the once bright and fiery orb in the sky had now been reduced to but a small sliver peaking just above the horizon, destined to vanish after only another 5 or ten minute's time.

But none of that really mattered to our protagonists as they sat side by side in the grass, leaning on each other, watching the city lights grow all the more brilliant as the hot, sunny afternoon faded into a cool, dark night.