Hello anybody willing to read my fun little story! I'm PixieDust! ✨
So I have a bit to say before you get on to reading. To start off, yes this is my first fic. "Oh no. He's a newbie! Run for cover!" You might be thinking. Welp, unfortunately you're going to have to live with this fact. Tough cookies.
Next, I'm writing this story for fun. "For fun?! How could he?! I only come to this site for pro~fessional literacy~ created by true artists~." Again, tough 🍪's. Listen, even though this story is casual I will still do my best to make sure there's no errors. I have a rough plot in mind for the story and am going to attempt to make sure there's a good flow every chapter.
Casual also means I'm not set in stone schedule wise. I'm still going to have dates I hope to make happen for coming chapters but that's more for me than you. "How selfish. Hmph!" Relax. This is just something to entertain myself and others. I'll be aiming for once a month til I get more into it.
Lastly, leave a review. What you like. What you dislike. I would like to know what you thought about it.
Bold = sounds / Italics = thoughts / Underline = emphasis
Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel's Spider-man. No literally, I don't own a single Spider-man comic! lmao
Arc 1 – Honor Among Thieves
Ch. 1: Wow…Well, Wanna Get Lunch? - The Spider-man Revenge Squad is finally prepared to take down the creepy crawly spandex-ed hero but there is one thing missing from their plan. What do they do if they win?
Somewhere in New York…
"Does everybody understand their part?"
"I can handle mine."
"Hundred percent, mate. Totally and completely. Couldn't be ready for my part more if I'm honest. But jus' in case, let's maybe, possibly, ever so quickly go over it one more time."
A collective groan and slapping of hands against faces could be heard around the table coming from Jon and Marty. A smash from Max's fist against the table was surprising but the crack left in the tough mahogany spooked Brian a whole lot more. Jon groans again but now for a new reason.
Probably should have shut it. "I was jus' kidding, ma-"
Max's large frame slowly leans over Brian. Not over to. Over. "I'm okay with sitting here and listening to the plan because it happens to be sound, eh. But having to hear him repeat it over and over again is starting to make me fall asleep." Marty puts a consoling hand on the blonde's shoulder as the slouched man starts to whisper horrible curses upon the two assholes ruining the meeting. "So, listen up cause this better be the last repeat. Or we do the mission without you."
"Ah come on, mate. It's hard to pay attention when the doc starts add'n in bloody math. It makes my brain hurt." Brian pleads.
The sagging doctor quickly composes himself before glaring at the whining Australian. "I believe the diagnosis for that is called 'stupidity,' Hibbs. Fortunately, it's a terminal illness."
"I think you mean 'unfortunately,' Jon." Marty swiftly points in.
Jon's gaze lazily switches to his ape-like companion sat next to him. "I know what I said." A dry grin grows on the blue-eyed man's face.
Alright they got their hits in. Time to focus. Marty returns Jon's grin with a warm and much less threatening smile (for an ape-faced man) before moving his attention over to the two meat heads about to duke it out.
Max would totally win. Marty whispers in his mind. There's actually been a running bet in the four-man squad whether the burly Canadian or spunky Aussie would win in a one-on-one brawl. It's been about three months since that competition came up but all they've done is butt heads so far. Well, until now it looks like.
"Brian." Marty calls while the two troublemakers are an inch from each other's faces and an inch from throwing a punch. "Do you really not understand your part?" With a break of eye contact the two settle down; Brian now focusing on him.
The dirty blonde nods. "I've got it down as long as I forget about the numbers and positioning bullshit."
With a nod back Marty continues, "Then we don't need to go over it again. Thank you for the repeats Jon. Even if they were a bit tedious." A raised eyebrow and a dirty look from the doctor probably asked why an insult was tagged onto the gratitude. Marty ignored the man's superiority complex as he stood up and ended that future argument with a loud clap of his large primate hands, "if we're all set then, well…let's um… do this thing!"
"Our leader is truly inspiring." Jon dryly remarks while the two buffoons snicker on the other side of the table.
"Fine." A more serious look comes over Marty's face. "Spider-man Revenge Squad operation Squad's Revenge on Spider-man is a go." Marty's ire-filled look is directed towards the board of news clippings filled with images of Spider-man. "That bastard laughed at us." As a show of determination, Gibbon punches is primate fist into his other mutant hand. "Hope he finds a split lip amusing."
Max flexes his claws and snarls showing his bear-like canines. "The last thing that little shit said to me was 'I belong in a Build-A-Bear workshop more than county prison.' I can't wait to crush the brat." The Grizzly growls as he covers himself with a jacket made-up of bear pelts.
Brian picks up his Kangaroo helmet as he stands up. "Let's show him we're not some bloody circus clowns." The Kangaroo seethes as he puts on his helmet and begins to fasten on the rest of his armor.
Jon's hair begins to fade away and his skin bleaches white as pitch black circles of different sizes begin to appear across his body. "He thinks we're a joke just like everybody else. We are real fucking supervillains." The Spot's once blue eyes turn completely opaque white. "Let's make sure to beat that into him."
Grizzly and Kangaroo are the first to leave the room. Gibbon reads over the spread-out plans once more, his eyes skimming over a specific segment he made himself and marked complete. 'Camera guy.' He's soon pulled away from the plans, the serious atmosphere shattered by the shouting outside the doorway.
"I'm gonna deck him right in the kisser before you ever get your bloody toothpicks into him, mate!"
"What did you call them, eh?! These can rend steel you overgrown bunny!"
He couldn't help that his hand gravitated towards his face. It was a natural scientific effect of the universe that occurred when it came to these two.
A faint whisper emanates right next to the gibbon-based mutant like an annoying bug buzzing nearby, "Brian would win. I did the calculations myself." Spot stated in all his egotistical glory.
Gibbon slowly faced his dalmatian-looking companion before a wry smile appeared on his face. In a butchered Australian accent, he said, "Take yer' pisser calculations an' shove em' up yer' bloody Spotted Dimension, ya cunt. They make my brain hurt big!"
The two stare at each other for a full minute before they burst out laughing as they exit the room themselves.
Later that day…
The sun hangs high in the sky over the bright cityscape of New York. It's blinding rays reflect off the windowpanes of high rises, shining over the bustling crowds and honking cars. Sparkles even bounce off the white webs that shoot out from a familiar red and blue suited hero's cuffs as he swings smoothly between buildings. A supernatural acrobat, he flips and turns through the air as his webs catch the nearby structures allowing him to make swift turns while his attention is on the streets below.
With another flick of his wrist, the webslinger continues through his usual parabolic arc without cutting his line leading him into almost a full vertical trajectory upwards. At the last moment, he cuts his web and fluidly flips on top of a nearby building, landing gracefully.
The spider-themed hero reaches quickly to remove his mask. "Huff…huff…jeez." Sweat drips off the damp brunette's hair sliding down his face as he takes long breaths. Pulling out his phone the young man opens the weather app to see today's forecast. 95 Fahrenheit with high humidity and sunny all day, what the hell New York! "If it wasn't July I would totally be hunting down whatever villain cranked up the thermostat."
Another huff blows out of his mouth as he sits on the edge of the roof, overlooking the citizens down below. Checking his phone again, hazel eyes sift through the many messages packed in the electronic device.
BadBoy69: he's being impossible again! Dad knows there's something fishy going on in Oscorp accounting but he won't tell me anything!
Star Girl: Once ur done with dress up and beat em up, wanna grab a bite at that new sub place? I think it's called Subs'Space
#1LabPartner: Parker, I swear if u don't send me ur files for applied stats I'm gonna kick ur teeth in!
The Thompster: Pete, chec tis vid! This dude is hillares! Link: /quZU_hA4Pr4
Best Teach: Peter, are those samples finished? If so, bring them around tomorrow please. And don't forget the presentation this Saturday.
Busy…busy…busy. No breaks for Peter Parker. The damp young man put away the device. He simply sat, enjoying the nice breeze wafting by while it cooled the sweat on his heated skin. The regular sounds of the city were comfortable and familiar to him. They allowed him to lull into somewhat of a relaxed state.
And there it is. Peter promptly rose from where he sat while immediately putting on the mask that finished his ensemble.
With a deep in and out of breath, the webslinger sprang from the edge of the roof shooting a line outwards. The superhero pulled himself towards the direction the boom came from, catching sight of the rising smoke billowing from within Central Park.
"No breaks for Spider-man either, Pete." He said, swinging past an electronic billboard broadcasting a cartoon portrait of said hero being smashed by a cartoon version of Jay Jonah Jameson. 'Hero? Or Vigilante! The crime-fighting Menace!' sponsored by the Daily Bugle.
Shouting. Screaming. The stampede of feet against solid ground. Citizens can be heard running away from the busted water fountain as a lone figure in the shape of a bi-pedal marsupial stands laughing at the wreckage in front of him.
"Bahahaha! Yeah, you better run you bunch of blighters!" The face of Brian Hibbs mocks within the metal eared helmet. The kangaroo-themed battle armor fits his physique perfectly even though it appears a little silly. While a prehensile metal tail sticks out the back and the metal legs are fitted in the form of a kangaroo, the armor adds strength to his build and bumps up his size.
With another cackle of villainous laughter, Kangaroo takes a standing leap backwards towards the fountain. His legs bend towards his stomach like a tension filled spring before both feet collide with the already bent fountain. As the fountain smashes down into its own now-decimated pool it also acts as a springboard for Kangaroo to launch towards the nearest light pole before smashing that down as well. Like a familiar arcade game, Kangaroo is a supervillain sized pinball. Smashing against as many light poles as he could, Kangaroo's manic howls of laughter could slightly be heard over the timbering broken structures. As the last one crashes down, Kangaroo finally touches down in the middle of the destroyed park area. "What a workout! Bet my best mate Spider-man ain't half as bloody fast as I am. Bahaha!" Perfect showmanship if I do say so myself.
An uncommon thwip sound registers in the mechanical radar antenna shaped as kangaroo ears atop his head. Speaking of the bugger. Kangaroo turns around and motions towards the direction of the hero swinging onto the scene like a ringmaster presenting his perfectly trained lion. "And here's the bug himself to prove my point!" Kangaroo presents even with no one around.
"Spiders are arachnids, Kangaroo." With very little to web sling onto in the immediate area, Spider-man lands about twenty feet in front of the posturing Kangaroo. Spider-man continues, "Coming from the land down under I'd expect you to know the difference. So, either you're just really oblivious or, more likely, without a brain. I'd go with the latter considering your fashion sense." Something between a huff and a giggle springs from the Web-head's mouth.
Here we go. Slowly fuming Kangaroo replies, "Got something to say about my armor, bug-ger?"
"Clever. Just saying with your look, you belong more in a department store plush aisle. Though with a face like that I think little Sally is going to stick to her stuffed bears and Spider-man plushies." Another giggle fit emanates from behind the arachnid themed hero's mask.
Kangaroo quickly moves into a fighting stance that the humored Spider-man notices. A slight supernatural tingle grows around Spider-man like a sixth sense warning. Slowly, he tenses into his own combat stance readying for a fight.
"You think you're so bloody funny." Kangaroo growls. "I may not have a brain, mate, but I don't need one to know I'm gonna squash you. There's a bloody fact for you." Before the hero can reply, Kangaroo's metallic legs push down, coil, and spring the supervillain towards him like a slingshot.
Years of fighting super baddies combined with supernatural agility allows Spider-man to deftly dodge the incoming attack. Like a scene out of the Matrix, he is Keanu Reeves with Kangaroo as the bullets, the Australian related villain sails over him. The loss of an expected impact forces Kangaroo further than he anticipated, nearly colliding into a working barbecue. With a smooth twist out of the backbend, Spider-man feels all the comfortability of being in his crime-fighting element wash out the sticky heat he was drowning in before. Two webs shoot out and latch onto the marsupial dressed man catching him over the open barbecue. Its heat plumes over Kangaroo for half a second, slightly distracting the supervillain and making him uneasy.
"Hey New York, how about instead of shrimp I cook some kangaroo on the barbie?" Spider-man shouts before tugging Kangaroo back from the machine and pulls the villain into the ground.
Get it together, Hibbs! You can't let him actually get to you, mate. Kangaroo pops back up from his crash like a corn popper before ripping the lines of webbing attached to him. "Huff… na mate… be too muscle-y for you. Should probably stick to those New Yorker hot dogs. Besides, muscle doesn't look like your kinda… style. Heh."
"D-did you just call me fat?!" His mask almost becomes as big and expressive as a familiar merc-with-a-mouth's.
The unexpected quip throws Spider-man for a loop. Long enough for Kangaroo to get in close and activate the web-head's built in Spidey Sense. The hero is able to get a few dodges in before Kangaroo's offense slams a right hook into his jaw. A follow up left uppercut leaves Spider-man's head reeling which in turn leaves him concussed long enough for a powerful drop kick. Probably broken like every other platform Kangaroo has launched from, a crack rings out first from the impact of the attack and second from where Spider-man collides into an innocent and now broken park bench. A smirking Kangaroo looks on as the annoyingly pummeled neighborhood Spider-man groans in pain, attempting to stand up from the wreckage.
"So that's how your jokes are supposed to work. How does it feel to be on the other side, bugger? Humiliating ain't it." Kangaroo growls.
"…I bet you thought of that one while on the toilet. Groan." Spider-man replies. "Outback Steakhouse called. They want compensation for you stealing one of their rejected mascot costumes."
A blast of webbing shoots out from Spider-man's wrist into a net but catches only air as Kangaroo springs out of the way like… well like a kangaroo. The villain quickly shortens the distance between himself and the combatant but Spider-man is ready for him this time. Kangaroo's standard martial arts allows him less hits against the hero's Way of the Spider technique with his armor taking the brunt of the hero's hits. The arachnid-themed superhuman acts more like a raging bear against Kangaroo's slowly weakening defense. Unfortunately for you, I've practiced with a real Grizzly. The dynamic of the fight shifts slightly in favor of the Australian when he swiftly switches into a grapple move set. Unprepared, Spider-man gets pinned.
"Come on, give a mate a hug. You are the friendly neighborhood Spider-man after all." Kangaroo grins menacingly.
"Sorry. Groan. The only strangers in suits allowed to hug me are cosplayers or Mr. and Mrs. Met. Huff… even then they have to complete the right paperwork and finish a weeklong seminar on inappropriate touching. Grrr!" Adjusting his strength, the hero is able to pry himself free by crushing the mechanical joints in Kangaroo's leg armor. In the loss of balance, the villain unwittingly drops Spider-man.
Now free the swift wall-crawler slips around and grabs the weakened Kangaroo by his suit's prehensile tail before pivoting and throwing the villain into the leaking fountain pool nearby. The sweaty heat from before is starting to creep back over the spandex covered hero.
"Huff... look buddy- uh mate I guess, can you stay down? I'm enjoying kicking your butt don't get me wrong but… huff… can we not do it on the hottest day of the year. Why don't we schedule another session for, let's say January?"
A drenched, beaten up marsupial armored man paddles towards the cracked edge in the shallow fountain. While hanging over an ajar section he glares back with a threatening smile before replying, "Why don't you come have a swim then, bugger? Cool yourself off." Finished. Told em I knew my part. Even if I did go a bit off script.
"Thanks for the offer but I'll let the cops fish you out."
Kangaroo's smile grows feral. "What cops?"
Spider-man's Spidey Sense kicks into overdrive blaring invisible warning signs for the bewildered hero. Out of nowhere two large arms entrap Spider-man in a crushing bear hug. A shout of surprise and pain escapes through the blue and red suited hero's mask as he is enveloped in a literal bone-crushing hug.
"Maybe the heat is getting to you, little spider. You should take him up on his offer for a dip, eh." The large Canadian gripping Spider-man growls.
"Wheeze… shit… wheeze… Grizzly." Labored breathing is all Spider-man can muster while being death squeezed by said villain.
"Payback time, spider!" A feral roar erupts from Grizzly's throat before he suplexes the hero into the ground behind them.
Spider-man hears another crack this time but feels it as well as pain lances through his back. Jolts of aching tremors race across the hero's body but a distinct iron grip wraps around his ankle before the distracted man forgets being hurt because he's soaring through the air now. Unfortunately for him, the pain comes rushing back two-fold when his cushion for landing is a bent park lamp post.
He barely registers the hiss of a vocal wince come from the fountain. "Fuck, mate, that was a good throw. The bugger practically looks like a real bug splat." Kangaroo comments to Grizzly. "Though my dropkick probably did more damage." Kangaroo boasts, still hanging over the fountain barrier.
"Hmph. Not much of a feat, eh. I taught you that move. Besides, you can't even repeat it again considering your broken legs joints. I could suplex all day, eh." Grizzly ribs back to the now frowning Kangaroo. A pain-laced groan alerts the two to a very hurt, but standing, Spider-man.
"Man, what a nice surprise." He gets out, wheezing a little. "Now I got two run-away theme park mascots picking a fight with me." The two sneer and watch as the beaten-up hero slowly gathers himself.
The ringing in Spider-man's head is slowly dissipating. The black spots from that last attack are fading away except for a few. "Heard you got broken out, Kangaroo. Just not by who. Any other wannabe clowns I should watch out for? Maybe a little car fitting way too many supervillains." A small giggle bursts into an actual laugh for a second. "Ha! That's actually kind of a funny image now that I think about it."
"You never learn when to shut up." Grizzly growls but makes no move to attack the hero. His casual stance clashes with the threatening words he said before making Spider-man's clearing head feel like it's missing something. And the black spots aren't clearing from his vision like he thought they would. A giggling Kangaroo forces him to switch his focus making him more uneasy.
"Hehehe… well he is practically a clown. He's got white skin. Likes polka dots though only black ones. And he does got a couple tricks though I don't think they're to make people laugh." Grizzly smiles aside to Kangaroo with a knowing look before the bear-like villain points his thumb towards a black spot hanging in the air from where he appeared before.
A light clicks in Spider-man's head as the world comes back into focus. The black spots aren't the kind in his head but are real and spread out throughout the area. To his rising dismay most are congregated in the location he is currently standing in.
His Spidey Sense activates immediately, capping off the rising tension from his recent discovery.
He tries to dodge, he really does.
The incoming attack appears from a too close black spot hanging in the air as a bleached white fist smashes into his face. As soon as it disappears more white limbs rocket out from other spots landing blow after blow on the hero. While not as strong as the hits from Kangaroo or Grizzly the beating is continuously tacking on pain to the figuratively and literally sweating hero. Looking for an escape route, Spider-man finds himself in a completely open area throwing another discomforting reveal at him alike the proceeding hits from his villain assailant.
After what feels like forever one last heavy sucker punch to his gut makes Spider-man finally kneel on the ground, that last hit becoming too much for him. Sweat like a physical embodiment of pain slithers down through his suit. An insignificant thought of whether the sweat is from everything he's been enduring or from the heat drifts through his tired brain.
A black spot between Grizzly and Kangaroo widens into a supernatural doorway allowing Spot to walk into the real world of Central Park.
"I am not a clown. I am a doctor. Not a fucking dalmatian as you thought was so funny the last time we fought, Spider-man." Spot regards as he glares at the downed hero. "I remember you commenting that I made your stomach hurt from laughing too hard. Tell me, how does it feel now?" A superior sneer adorns the man's mocking face as the hero rolls his head weakly to look at the trio.
Things are beginning to look very bad.
It gets worse when one more black spot near the group opens up revealing a panting Gibbon. "The cops… huff… will be over soon… huff. I distracted them… huff… for as long as I could." His rather calm gaze turns stormy when he glances over to a severely drained Spider-man. "My turn?" He asks towards the crew while still staring at the downed hero.
A nod, thumbs up, and "Yes," answers him.
Surprisingly, the web-head's Spidey Sense doesn't trigger as the clearly angry mutant gets closer to him. Though maybe it's tired of warning him and took a vacation considering he barely dodged anything today. Now that he thought about it, he'd like a vacation. A beach day would be nice. In a weakened state, the heat is starting to make the hero's mind delirious.
Unaware to the hero's inner predicament, Gibbon stands as a vengeful spirit in physical form over his battered foe. "You laughed at us. Mocked us. You thought our troubles and goals were pathetic. You even smiled when we were carted away by the police. You aren't a hero. You make jokes against things you don't understand and get in the way. You're a child. We are the Spider-man Revenge Squad! A ragtag group of wannabe losers seen as on the bottom of the totem pole. Well, we just beat the Spider-man! Something no villain has done before! We just shot ourselves all the way to the top. Let's see who's the ones laughing now?"
Dazed, the only thing he can think of is the thing he chooses to verbalize, "… Spider-man Revenge Squad? What a horrible name. Legion of Losers is even a better name. Heh."
With a cold glare that can ice over hell, Gibbon pulls back and socks Spider-man's lights out.
Sprawled out unconscious on the open ground surrounded by ravaged light posts, a damaged water fountain, and broken benches in Central Park, Spider-man has lost.
Looking at his closed fist Gibbon comments, "That felt good." He turns back to the Squad, a look of approval and pride crosses between the crew.
A beat of awkward silence eventually falls over everyone.
"So… we won."
"Of course, we did."
"The plan went pretty well, eh."
"Totally knew my part just like I told you guys. Definitely did everything to the letter. I was in complete control to be honest, mates. Can't call me barmy, no sir. Though… I did improvise just a little. So, what do we do with him, leader? Take his mask off? Throw him in that park trashcan over there?"
"Probably more embarrassing to have the cops and reporters find him like this." Marty replies with a victorious smile while, strangely, peering at some bushes nearby. "Besides, I pretty sure he'll think twice before mocking us again."
The crew take a second to think it over before everybody nods.
"So, what now then?"
Kangaroo's stomach growl is just loud enough to break the awkwardness surrounding that last statement. "Um… I didn't really eat this morn' before the mission." He defends himself sheepishly.
"I could go for a bite." Spot concedes while picking up all his black spots riddled around the area and slapping them back onto his body.
"Heard there's a new sandwich place that just opened up. Called Sub'Space or something. Probably outer space themed." Gibbon provides. Cheerful acknowledgements raises through the Squad.
Police sirens begin to fade in as the Squad disappears from sight, leaving a beaten and unconscious Spider-man on the unforgiving ground of Central Park.
The next day…
"You got a tape of Spider-man losing to a bunch of costumed wannabe villains?!" Jay Jonah Jameson yells more than asks to a young intern reporter clutching his camera like a golden egg.
Nodding fervently the college kid glances at his precious camera back to the head reporter of the Daily Bugle news station. "Yes. The day before yesterday, I got a tip to be at Central Park for a big scoop. Guy sounded serious so I checked it out. I pretended to test out my equipment before the crazy Kangaroo guy showed up. I ran over to some bushes to hide and just started rolling. My camera caught the entire thing." The kid flashes Jameson a thumb drive. "I cut and edited the whole thing too." He grinned handing the drive to an almost salivating head reporter.
Jameson quickly put it into his computer and watched the video. A vicious smile broke out over his face and the feeling even crept up into his eyes. "This will be big! Our ratings are going to shoot way up with this. 'Beaten by a ragtag group of losers.' Hah! It's perfect." A mask of officialness set over the businessman as he eyed the college intern. "How much?"
The promise of money really made the kid look like he was going to get a golden egg. Maybe even a golden egg laying goose. "Eight hundred."
Both lock eyes and say at the same time, "Seven hundred."
"Deal." With a shake of hands, the college kid's enthusiasm skyrocketed. No more ramen noodles for a while.
"What do you think it should be titled, kid?" Jameson asks.
Surprised, he takes a minute to think. "Um, 'Spider-man Defeated by Revenge Squad?" The kid outwardly cringes when Jameson gives him his best 'really?' face. "Sorry, sir. How about 'Lowest of the Low. Legion of Losers win against Spider-man! A New Villain Group to Look Out For?"
"Legion of Losers,' hah. Perfect name for a bunch of freaks playing dress up! I'll tack on another fifty just for that title, kid. Now scram, my business is about to get busier."
With that, the now richer intern bolts from Jameson's office.
Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! ✨
I'm aiming for August 4th for my next chapter but it may come before then~