The Son: So Where Does That Leave Us?
K Hanna Korossy
"I have sort of...been working with the British Men of Letters," Mom starts. But it feels like an end.
Nerd that he is, a few years ago Sam dug up this aging software, like they use for missing kids. We tried a picture of Mom on it to see what she'd look like today if she hadn't died. Turns out, not that different from how she looks now, just more white in her hair and a few more wrinkles.
They got the eyes wrong, though. Her eyes are a lot harder than older young-Mom.
"It was a hard decision. But they're doing good work. I have helped them save people, a lot of people. We can learn from them."
She's still talking, and I'm trying to listen, I really am. But she blows past Sam's reminder that they tortured him—I can see him flinch when she does it—and that kinda makes it hard for me to hear anything except, This matters more to me than you do.
"What the British Men of Letters are doing, what we're doing, it's a better way."
The kicker is, I get what she's saying. The BMs have a lot of cool toys. They fight monsters, too. They helped us get Lucifer, and get away from lock-up after the whole President thing went south. Partnering up makes sense on paper.
If you've got no feelings.
She saw what they did to Sam. Bitch Spice shot him, torched his foot, mind-raped him. The job it turns out we did for her new buddies killed Wally and almost killed Cas. And Sam. And me.
Mary's like Dad, it finally hits me, 'cause I can be slow like that. She's just like Dad. The hunt comes first, and damn the cost.
"I'm doing this for you."
I don't want us to be like Crowley and his kid, with a boatload of regrets, literally. Don't wanna be like Crowley and his mom, hating each other's guts. But I never asked for Mom to come back. If Gavin taught us one thing, it's that what's dead should stay dead.
'Cause I can't do this again. Losing Dad almost killed me. Losing Sam did kill me, a couple of times. What if Mary trades her life for mine? What if she dies doing something I could've saved her from?
What if she says I have to kill Sam to save the world?
"You made your choice," I finally say. "So there's the door."
And then I walk away because I can't stand to watch her leave again.