Blob help me, a recent rewatch of Community has turned me into a Jeff/Annie shipper. I had fun imagining a silly, slightly raunchy scene at that ultimate excuse for a reunion of friends – a wedding! Presented here as a found scrap of script.
ESTABLISHED SETTINGS: 1. Rental house shared by the study group, the members of which have travelled to Greendale to celebrate BRITTA's wedding. JEFF and ANNIE are BRITTA's bridespeople. 2. Waiting room and reception hall of the wedding venue.
JEFF and ANNIE, nicely dressed, are in the waiting room of the reception hall. They avoid looking at each other. The mood is frosty. ANNIE, in particular, is cold and prickly.
JEFF: So this is awkward.
Flashback to: JEFF entering seemingly-empty rental, sweaty from a run, wearing earbuds. As he removes the earbuds, female groans of obvious sexual pleasure can be heard. JEFF is confused, then realizes what he hears and attempts to back away silently. He walks directly into a pile labeled "wedding favors": wind chimes, Boggle games, dog toys, and saucepan lids.
JEFF (grimacing): …Sorry?
ANNIE (from off-screen, furiously): GET OUT!
Return to: waiting room.
ANNIE (prim and pinched): It's not awkward. It's regular. I feel very regular.
Nobody is regular. Everyone is awkward. A long pause with 'business' – JEFF on his phone, ANNIE fiddling with a flower arrangement.
ANNIE (on the offensive): I thought I was alone.
JEFF: I'm not Shirley, Annie. I'm not here to judge you.
ANNIE finally turns towards JEFF.
ANNIE (her anger and indignation increasing in intensity): Just so you know, I have a very stressful job, and I don't have time for a social life. And I'm a grown-up! So yes, sometimes I make sexy appointments in my calendar. And I pour myself a glass of wine. Light a lavender sea-salt candle. Put on a silk nightie –
JEFF (attempting to talk over and interrupt ANNIE, finally succeeding with a shout): That's okay – that's enough – you don't have to – ANNIE, STOP!
ANNIE: WHY? Because I'm sooo digusting?!
JEFF (through gritted teeth): That's not the problem.
ANNIE'S gaze drifts where the camera dare not follow (JEFF's pants) and instantly ping-pongs up to the ceiling.
WEDDING PLANNER enters. ANNIE jumps back and JEFF whirls around to face the wall.
PLANNER (looking at clipboard): Bridal party? You're up in three.
When we return, the PLANNER has departed. JEFF is sitting with his coat over his lap and his face in his hands. ANNIE can't settle and is pacing back and forth.
JEFF: I can't go out there like this! Baseball, baseball, baseball…
ANNIE whips around and focuses on JEFF.
ANNIE: Baseball! Yes! Food poisoning! DEATH! Is this working?
JEFF makes an "eh" face.
ANNIE: I know! Commitment! Exclusivity! 'Honey, let's just cuddle tonight!' (fake deep voice) 'Jeff, do you take this woman –'
JEFF: Wrong direction!
JEFF (leaping up in anger): I'm in my forties! Excuse me for wanting to settle down!
ANNIE (wildly, waving her arms): Vagina dentata!
JEFF: Just shut up for a minute!
He turns back towards the wall, closes his eyes, and takes a few deep breaths. He puts his coat back on.
JEFF: Okay. I'm ready.
The PLANNER reappears.
PLANNER: Okay, time to go.
JEFF and ANNIE move into position. As they progress slowly up the aisle, they have the following conversation at a whisper.
ANNIE: So what worked?
JEFF: I pictured Pierce having sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.
ANNIE: Aww! Pierce!
They arrive at the front of the reception hall, where a WICCAN PRIESTESS awaits. BRITTA's groom has TROY and ABED as his groomsmen. SHIRLEY and her husband sit in the front row, and their youngest, BEN BENNET, is the ringbearer. They turn as one to watch BRITTA approach. She looks radiant. Her dress is bizarre. She's pulling it off.
Montage of vows, dancing, and toasts. The wedding is lovely. At the end of the night, everyone from the study group is on the floor in a silly, joyful dance circle, except for JEFF, who is nursing a Scotch nearby. ANNIE turns, smiles, and beckons to him. The camera looks at her lovingly, from head to toe.
JEFF (muttering to himself): Pierce banging Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.
He takes a deep breath, and joins the dance.