Hi... I'm not dead, that's the good news. Bad news is that depression is trying to drown me... again. I saw my new psychiatrist on Wednesday and explained how I was starting to feel down and how my thoughts, which have been nice to me since my last hospital stay, have started turning sour. I also think I'm dissociating once more and that's not great.

I'm trying to write, as it brings me joy. Except I feel numb and I want to curl up on my bed and sleep. So I would prepare yourselves for slower updates. Maybe I'll force myself to sit and write, like I did today (which did make me feel a bit better).

I just wanted to give ya'll an update. I like being honest and this (just telling people online how I'm doing) helps.

Forewarning: A lot of research went into this the first bit of the chapter to nitpick some things I found out. Also, I may have hurt the baby... Just slightly.

After a couple of moments Kahina had herself, along with the others, settle back into their seats She quickly resumed the recording.


Stay alive…

"Why is a redcoat firing at him?" Laurens asked, eyes wide, holding Alexander close.

"War," was all Kahina said, then under her breath; "and foreshadowing."

[Eliza/Angelica/Ensemble women:]

Stay alive…

"W-who is that?" Washington asked. "I believe we saw her before?"

"You have," Kahina told the first president, "twice so far."

"Who is she?" Madison asked.

"I'll tell you as this progresses, although you might be able to figure it out." She glanced at Laurens, a move that only wasn't noticed by half of the Revolutionary Set: John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton, and Alex. This put most on edge, not knowing what that look meant.


I have never seen the General so despondent

I have taken over writing all his correspondence

Congress writes, "George, attack the British forces."

I shoot back, we have resorted to eating our horses

"Wait, really?" Jefferson asked.

"No, at least not where we were," Hamilton told Jefferson. "Although, we were starving. We didn't have enough rations. Some were eating bark; others roasted their shoes. I even heard that some officers killed their favorite dog."

"What did congress do?"

Hamilton took a deep breath, "how?"

"How what?"

"How are you so dim?"

"Excuse me?"

Washington was about to intervene, but saw that Madison had a small glint in his eyes as he looked at the first president with a face saying "don't, just wait."

"Let me ask you a question," Hamilton smirked. "Where were you during the war?"

"I was-" Jefferson stopped himself, realization spreading, along with blush, over his face.

"Yeah, mmhmm."

"What's going on?" Peggy asked.

"Oh nothing, dear sister. Just the fact the Jefferson was in fact in the Continental Congress. Along with Madison, don't think I don't see you hiding your laughter."

This caused an uproar of laughter. After a few minutes everything calmed down and Philip turned towards his father, "what did the congress do?"

"They sent us Christopher Ludwick," Hamilton said with a smile. "He was an amazing baker. We probably wouldn't have survived long enough to win without him."

Kahina cringed, she didn't want that knowledge out just yet.

"W-what do you mean 'win?'" Hercules asked.

Under Kahina's vicious gaze, Hamilton felt like just skipping up to his own burr and telling him to shoot him.

"Hamilton," Washington used his commanding voice, "what do you mean?"

Kahina continued to glare but sighed and gestured for the man to explain.

"Sir, we won the war," Hamilton told the future president smiling, "We all won the war. If Lee has already happened for you, you made the smart choice."

Washington was about to question what he meant, but was stopped by Kahina, "Nope! No more spoilers!"

With that Kahina made the video start playing again.

Local merchants deny us equipment, assistance

They only take British money, so sing a song of sixpence


The cavalry's not coming


But, sir!


Alex, listen. There's only one way for us to win this

Provoke outrage, outright


That's right


Don't engage, strike by night

Remain relentless 'til their troops take flight

"I guess they do 'take flight,'" Lafayette smiled, the prospect of being of winning this revolution so he could help his own.


Make it impossible to justify the cost of the fight









"Alexander," Aaron faced the ginger-haired man, "are you a parrot now?"

"Alexander," Alexander parroted smirking, "are you a parrot now?"

"Dear god," Mulligan joked, "he probably won't stop that now."

"Dear god, he probably won't sto-"

Alexander quieted after Laurens smacked his arm lightly. He glared, but had a wide smile across his face.


Hit 'em quick, get out fast




Stay alive 'til this horror show is past

We're gonna fly a lot of flags half-mast


Raise a glass!

The mood that was just so light-hearted, even for just a moment, turned somber.


I go back to New York and my apprenticeship

"Again," Hercules frowned, "I have my own shop."


I ask for French aid, I pray that France has sent a ship

"Do they arrive with help?" Lafayette was curious.

Washington opened his mouth to respond but closed it when he saw Kahina's glare.


I stay at work with Hamilton

We write essays against slavery

And every day's a test of our camaraderie and bravery

"Ah yes," Jefferson sneered, "'camaraderie.'"

Hamilton quickly jumped to his feet but was pulled back into his seat. He looked to his arm and saw Burr holding on tight.

"Leave it be," Burr said loudly, but then whispered; "you can fight him after the first act."

Hamilton was taken aback, then whispered, "I thought you were on his side?"

"On some points yes, but right now he is being an ass."

Hamilton smirked for a moment before going back to looking like he was going to kill Jefferson.


We cut supply lines, we steal contraband

We pick and choose our battles and places to take a stand

And ev'ry day

"Sir, entrust me with a command"

And ev'ry day

At the same time as his actor, Washington said "no."




He dismisses me out of hand

[Hamilton (Eliza/Angelica):]

Instead of me (Stay alive...)

He promotes

Charles Lee ([Lee:] Charles Lee)

Makes him second-in-command:


I'm a General. Whee!

"I must admit he wasn't the smartest choice," Washington reflected back.

"Oh really?" Hamilton feigned shock.


Yeah. He's not the choice I would have gone with


He shits the bed at the Battle of Monmouth


Ev'ryone attack!








What are you doing, Lee? Get back on your feet!


But there's so many of them!


I'm sorry, is this not your speed?!



Ready, sir!


Have Lafayette take the lead!


Yes, sir!

"I bet you were hoping to be in charge," Eliza smirked at the older version of her husband.

"Of course not," Hamilton tried lying, but the truth evident in his voice. He most definitely wanted to lead.


A thousand soldiers die in a hundred degree heat


As we snatch a stalemate from the jaws of defeat


Charles Lee was left behind

Without a pot to piss in

He started sayin' this to anybody who would listen:


Washington cannot be left alone to his devices

Indecisive, from crisis to crisis

The best thing he can do for the revolution

Is turn n' go back to plantin' tobacco in Mount Vernon

The Revolutionary Set, Aaron, and Alex were shocked.

"Why would he say those things to you?" Alex asked, turning towards the General. "From what I've seen you are an amazing leader. If he said those things about me, that's fine, but you? You don't deserve that kind of talk. Also, where is 'Mount Vernon?'"

Washington gave the twelve-year-old a soft, sad smile, "You don't deserve it either, I think you are amazing as well. You are going to do amazing things, just look at those two," he pointed to the two older versions of the boy. "Anyway, people say these things when they're mad or just plain mean. Just don't listen to them. Oh, and Mount Vernon is my home with my wife Martha. It's in Virginia."

"What's Virginia?" Alex was confused once more. He quickly tacked on; "I'm sorry I'm not very smart. It's fine if you don't want to answer, I totally get it. I wouldn't want to answer dumb questions either. And-"

Alex only stopped when Mulligan put a firm hand on his shoulder. "Slow down," he told the child, "it's alright. Just take a deep breath and calm down.

Alex nodded shakily and did just that before looking at Washington, who's eyes were full of concern. He was no doubt wondering how this scared child got to be his fierce aide-de-camp.

"Uh, Virginia is a commonwealth."

Alex just nodded slowly, fearing to answer anymore questions.




Don't do a thing. History will prove him wrong

Alexander bit out a "but, sir!" at the same time as his actor did.


But, sir!


We have a war to fight, let's move along


Strong words from Lee, someone oughta hold him to it


I can't disobey direct orders


Then I'll do it

Alexander, you're the closest friend I've got

"'Friend,'" Came Jefferson's remark, earning him a glare from several people.


Laurens, do not throw away your shot

"Why are your friends idiots?" Madison asked Lafayette and Mulligan.

Before either of them opened their mouths, Aaron said; "don't ask them, they're idiots too."

Lafayette dramatically gasped, "Comment osez-vous m'insulter ainsi!"

"laf," Alexander spoke to Lafayette, "lui et ce mec de Madison sont juste des culs. Avec ce terrible Jefferson."

"You do know I know French, right?" Jefferson glared at, at least in his eyes, the deviant.

"You can only speak some," Hamilton glared at Jefferson. "But, if you understood it, that's great."

Jefferson was trying to escape his seat but was held back by Madison and Washington. Burr just put his head in his hands, letting out a long sigh before whispering to Hamilton.

"Stop antagonizing him," he told the younger man, "at least for now."

Hamilton, like a cranky child, grumbled and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. This amused his son, who rarely saw his father act like this.

Translations brought to you by Google Translate, where dreams of terrible translations come true.
Comment osez-vous m'insulter ainsi! - How dare you insult me like this!
laf, lui et ce mec de Madison sont juste des culs. Avec ce terrible Jefferson. - Laf, him and that Madison guy are just being asses. Along with that terrible Jefferson

Fun Fact about me for a second: I went off on someone on Wattpad because they defended Thomas Jefferson. Like they said he never 'curb stomped' anybody. I went off, rattling off historical facts because this story alone is giving me so much information about how awful he was. Then they said they were talking about musical Jefferson. I once again backed my stance using their 'guidelines' with musical Jefferson. Point after point, I made my point. I did agree that I liked musical Jefferson, but that didn't change the fact he's bad. It was a great day for me.

Actual Fun Fact: During the Battle of Monmouth, it was actually General von Steuben that took command of Lee's forces.

Actual Fun Fact #2: During Lee's schooling, he was sent to Switzerland, where he became proficient in several languages.

Actual Fun Fact #3: Lee was once captured, but then he was released during a prisoner exchange. He was greeted enthusiastically by Washington at Valley Forge.

Three fun facts because they were short.