The way I loved you
The clock strikes 6pm.
The doorbell rings.
Right on time, not even a second late.
I open up the door to see Dallas standing there with perfect posture, not even slouching a little bit. He's all dressed up, in a long sleeve plaid shirt and some black pants. Not jeans. Proper pants. He's downright incredible. All my friends are jealous of me.
He compliments me just as I was getting into his car. "You look beautiful tonight." I thanked him. I was sort of dressed up, with a simple dress. He always knew to say the right thing at the right time, never offending me even once. He never picks fights with me, being the sensible person he is.
The truth is, I don't want this.
But after I broke up with Austin, my dad insisted that I date this "perfect guy", the son of his business partner. He is perfect. But I'm tired of getting dressed up, going on these fancy dates, smiling like I'm actually enjoying myself.
I feel perfectly fine, but I miss all those nights. Where Austin comes at least 15 minutes late and I scream at him. Then when he finally calms me down, we go to some casual place to eat, not some overrated restaurant where all the food is overpriced and it's suppose to be romantic.
It was at first, but eventually it just gets boring and predictable. We don't watch a horrible movie or go to some fun fair where I trip or fall or some disaster happens. Nope, it's always the perfect date.
Today was one of the examples. We just went to some French restaurant, and to to top it off, he knows what the name of restaurant actually mean, and understands all of the dishes on the menu which has French names that Austin probably doesn't even come near to understanding. I know, I probably sound crazy, girls go for smart boys. Boys who are perfect gentleman. But I just missed the way Austin would wave it off and say that he is a gentleman though we fight and scream at each other every single day and night.
Right now, we're in my house and guess what? My boyfriend and my father are talking business together. About the partnership which his father and my father has. How he's planning to take over the business soon. Then, he turns to me and smiles. I smile back. Though it's an obvious fake smile, he doesn't seem to notice.
I notice that his grip on me is just right, not too tight or too loose. He understands my personal space and doesn't push me to do anything that I don't want to. His practically Prince Charming. Too bad I'm no princess. I miss the days Austin and I argue over something as simple as what to eat or what to watch or even if his grip was too tight or how my heels are too high. It doesn't even make sense. But it's just how we work. Then, in the end, he would come to my house and drag me out into the driveway, saying that he was sorry and I would forgive him and we would just spend hours there kissing in the rain.
Just then, Dallas bids farewell and pecks me on the cheek, telling me that he would call me after 15 minutes. I set the timer. Unsurprisingly, he calls just as the times rings. It's getting a little stereotypic here. We talk about our classes tomorrow and homework and all those stuff and eventually we stop. He wished me goodnight. I say it back and smile though he can't see me.
My smile falters and I sigh as I think about the night Austin and I broke up.
"Would you stop arguing with me over the most ridiculous things?!" I screamed at him, even though it was 2 am. We just returned from one of my dad's business dinner, the one which he insisted that I brought my boyfriend.
"That guy was checking you out! What did you want me to do? Why did you wear such high heels anyway?!" He screamed back.
"Oh so it's my fault now?! Well news flash! That's what girls do! They dress up and wear heels! And you didn't have to squeeze the life out of me!"
"Oh yeah? Well news flash to you too! That's what boyfriends do! And I thought you aren't like any other girl!"
"Maybe I am! And if you don't like it, maybe we shouldn't be together!"
Silence. Austin stares at me with wide eyes, which look incredibly tired.
"Look, Austin. I'm just sick of fighting and screaming at you every single day." I say in a calmer voice.
"Then maybe we should give it a break. Maybe we should give us a break." Austin said in a quiet voice.
"Maybe we should." I said and walked away. I seriously can't stand it. I want a healthy relationship. Not this. I didn't realize how much I would miss it until now. Until it was too late. Tears rolled down my face unwillingly. Austin didn't come to my house that day. Or the day after. And I just gave up on waiting. And crying. Even so,I always kept my eye open for Austin when I was at Sonic Boom working, but apparently he hasn't came to the mall in almost a week, which scares me a little, because he comes to the mall everyday. Or at least he used to.
The next day, Dallas asks me out on another date. To some Italian restaurant. When I ask him if we could go somewhere more casual, like some fast food store and then catch a movie after that, he just stares at me like I'm talking some alien talk. Then he blinks and sighs, talking a deep breath.
"Look, Ally, you're a great girl and all, but I don't think that this is working out. You're just, how do I put it? Uh, you're just too crazy I guess." Then he stared at me as if I would break any minute, but I just smiled. The first genuine smile I gave in a long time.
"So, we're breaking up?" I ask, trying not too sound too excited.
"Yeah. Sorry if I'm causing you any heartbreak." Oh, if only he knew. My heart felt free right now, nothing close to this 'heartbreak'.
"No, it's okay. So, see you around?" He nods and walks out the store.
I sigh. I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I miss all the screaming and fighting in the middle of the night. Then the make up and make out that happens after that. I missed him.
That night, just as I prepared to go to bed, I heard a 'thump' sound on my window. This was all too familiar. Way too familiar. I walk to the window and peek down, surprised to see the outline of a person on my lawn. I was really betting that it was the wind or some birds there. I blink and rubbed my eyes many times, but he was still there. I swallowed the lump in my throat and a glint of hope burnt inside me as I tip-toed downstairs, following the all too familiar procedure. Except this time, it was different. We had broken up, so why was he here?
Finally, I open the front door to reveal the person standing right in front of it, Austin Moon. And then I had to try my hardest to suppress a gasp. Under the moonlight and the light on my porch, I could see Austin very well. Maybe too well. His hair was really messy, not the on-purpose-messy, but the I-really-don't-care-how-it-looks-messy. And Austin always cares about his hair. His eyes had dark bags under them and they looked 100 time more tired than that day. And he looked at me with sad eyes, full of regret and sorrow. I also noticed that he smelled horrible and was still wearing the clothes he wore on that faithful day, which was a week ago. And if I squirted my eyes, I could have swore that his eyes looked a little red...
"Austin?" He continue to stare at me.
"What are you doing here?" I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes, but I desperately tried holding them back. God, did I miss him.
"I'm sorry Ally. I'm sorry that every time we're together, we always fight and scream at each other. I'm sorry I always pick fights and never act like a gentleman, instead I fight back. I'm sorry I'm such a failure Ally. And I-" At this point, his voice stated cracking a little. "I get that you want a break from this, from me, but I just can't stand not being with you Ally. It just kills me to see you with someone else. Please give me a second chance. I miss you." He stops, and hoarsely croaks out ,"I love you." A tear slipped down his face.
I stared at him in shock. He was never the type of say out his feelings, so this was the first time I heard him say it out loud. Every time I told him that I loved him, he just said that he did too. He never said the exact words out. I stared into those hazel orbs which we're boring into mine. They looked so vulnerable.
I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around Austin's neck. He stood still for a moment before wrapping his arms around my waist.
"I miss you too." I whispered into his ear. He hold me tighter and whispered,
"I'm sorry about the screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain."
"It's okay. Cause that's the way I love you."
Just then, it started raining.
"Are you really sorry about the kissing in the rain?" I ask, slightly smirking. Austin pulled away a while and looked me in the eye.
"No, not really."
And with that, we kissed. In the rain. No matter how cliché it is.