No Such Aggravation

It seems fitting that I too join in the fix-fic jamboree about the ultra-divisive episode "No Such Luck"; as it was with my other pieces, I'd like to apply real-world logic to the situation and see if that makes things better.

Oh, dang it. Not this nonsense again. He'd tried to duck going to a game because he needed a bit of 'me' time. THAT didn't work because Lynn, she got insistent. And now, thanks to her stupid rituals, she's starting to run around screaming that he's bad luck. He didn't need this. He didn't need to defend himself. Lincoln also knew that he couldn't somehow make this work for him. That's because he had a really moronic habit called "remembering the past" which made him realize that every last one of his plans had a flaw: him. At some point, he'd go too far with a 'great' idea and boom, splattered egg all over his face.

Also, it could just as easily have been the fact that he wore orange in an attempt to draw attention to himself that could have been 'bad luck'. Not for the first time did he smile and think that most of her brain power was being squandered keeping track of pointless rituals that bore and irritate everyone else and what's bad luck. He'd fallen into that trap once and made a nice day with the family go sluicing down the crapper and didn't like the idea of her falling into that same destructive trap. He couldn't do anything about it, though. He could have two or three years ago but not now. She might have laughed off her little stunts when she was eleven but for some reason, she turned into a crazy person trying to turn him into No-Brain The Barbarian after she started going to middle school. Lincoln didn't quite know what happened but it must have been pretty flipping bad to make her that bonko.

That left him with the problem of what to do with her running around screaming 'BAD LUCK!" all the time. He know that he'd probably end up slowly being dropped from stuff he enjoyed because his spineless parents wanted to coddle the nutcase until such time as it became too much to pay for. God knows that they don't have the backbone to tell anyone else to cut the malarkey. Just him because he's 'supposed' to 'know better' because he can pee standing up. Weird how being 'pro-girl' ends up saying 'girls is stoopid', ain't it? Heh. He'd be better off with the parents from "Calvin And Hobbes"; he'd take a non-stop lecture about misery building character over pushover parents any day. Those two would put the kibosh on this in a heart-beat instead of waiting until she blew out her kneecaps at sixteen. He didn't know much about athletics but Lincoln did know that Lynn was on her way to a catastrophic injury that would sideline her for good owing to her having stopped growing at four foot seven. He also knew that she'd go really freaking loony when THAT happened. Compared to that, waiting for something else to be worse luck was almost an enjoyable proposition.