Chapter 1 – Bellatrix's Change
Many things in my original life would be considered dull, boring, normal, lonely, hollow. But that's what a normal life is, nothing like the movies, books, video games, plays, sure there can be breaks in the dull day to day life, like a war, natural disaster, or the various forms of criminal activity, but overall these could be dealt with in the normal ways. As such ninety-five percent of humanity deal with normal day to day things, waking up, going to work or school, eating, occasional bouts of sex with a willing partner, getting married, going to sleep, or simply dying this was the natural way of things. So when a person like myself, a man entering middle age, suffering from constant chronic pain of varying degrees is suddenly sucked into a purple vortex that appeared on the street in front of him as he was driving home from a doctor's appointment. You tend to be mildly put out when your normalcy is shot to hell, at least most people would. Me, I take it as divine intervention getting me out of something that would eventually kill me.
The vortex appeared so quickly I barely had time to register it before I drove into it, mentally cursing, slamming on the brakes. Climbing out my truck, looking back seeing no vortex scratching my head in confusion, I took in my surroundings. I realized I was in the middle of a street somewhere in England of all places. Climbing back into my truck and pulled over to the side of the street, parked, turned off the engine and climbing back out. I wandered down the street in the dead of night, coming to a corner I found myself staring at something was absolutely strange to me, Star Wars. Blinking a couple of times I walked over to an open news stand subtly glancing down at the paper's date. What the actual fuck, May 30th 1977. I groaned rubbing my forehead. There was something else I notice all the aches and pains I have been suffering for the last six years were gone, moving subtly feeling nothing no twinge, spike, or jolt at my normal movements. With a frown and mental shrug I moved to a window to look at my features. Gone was a slumping, out of shape, forty year old man, replaced by his twenty year old slightly out of shape counterpart. Huh, well that's strange, and lord if this was you're doing, couldn't you have just I don't know made me a bit less rotund. With a mental shrug, I pulled out my wallet wondering if I was given anything besides a twenty year face lift, sure enough the wallet was loaded with money, not just with US Dollars, there was at least a couple hundred British pounds. In a small corner of the wallet, where the condom would go, was a folded piece of paper. Unfolding the paper, was several lists, with sports names from of various types of sports. It took a minute before I realize that it was the names of every sports team that won a major sporting event from 1977 to 1989, well I guess its not really gambling if you know everything before hand, interesting loop hole. But didn't Biff Tannen try this in Back to the Future II, taking a few calming breaths trying to figure things out, that was before a massive explosion hit from behind me. Said explosion blasted me flying into a nearby alley where I did a couple rolls before coming to my feet, grimacing at the pain in my ears and everywhere else. Running back to edge of the alley looking around, I heard the laughing, cruel laughter, the kind you'd hear from a Saturday morning cartoon villain. Ducking into the shadows watching as three figures wandered into the light of the fire.
"That should be it, a nice little message to the Bones family, Nott," a tall figure snickered.
"Shame they weren't here, I would have loved to show that Blood traitor something," the one known as Nott responded with a snort extending his hand, a green light exploded from the end of his wand. Before the two disappeared from the street.
I looked up at something that I could only describe as both awed and annoyed, the image was that of a floating green skull with a Snake periodically flying into and out of the skull's mouth, "Harry Potter, really." Leaning against the wall pursing my lips distantly hearing the sirens. I quickly moved back into the alley and going out the otherside maintaining a strict hold of the shadows until I got back into my truck. I hunkered down arms crossed over my chest wondering what the hell happened. "That vortex I drove through?" asking aloud.
"Indeed," jumping hearing a voice to my right, drawing my hands up into fists defensively. Turning I spotted an extremely pale looking young woman, eyes coal black, hair a pale almost snow white, a beautiful heart shaped face, cute nose, dressed in a long black robe. However it was the pendant that wore that clued me in on who she was. The pendant was a simple sycthe with a tiny skull attached to the end of it.
"You kill me or something and this is either my punishment or my reward?" I asked.
Raising a pale eyebrow Death shook her head, "No you did not die, your life would have went on for another ten years, before you died of a heart attack."
"Joy, dieing at 50," I stated sarcastically dropping my hands turning. "So what is this then, putting someone like me in the Harry Potter universe is all the staples of bad fan fiction."
Death smirked, "And who says its not, your life could very well be someone elses fanfiction in another universe."
"Now that's just creepy, mean to tell me everytime I jerked off some wierdo got off on writing that stuff down," thinking about it makes a shudder, quickly clearing my head. "Right, better unthink that before I throw up. Okay so I'm not dead, I got a couple of hundred dollars and pounds in my wallet, a list of every major sporting event winner from now until the early 90's, It's probably a little more than three years till Harry's born and four year's until his parents are killed, and snake ass marks him. Mind telling me why I'm here?"
Death's eyes glitter dangerously, "You remember reptilla28's challenge do you not?"
"The one where Harry meets his Grim Reaper, goes back in time to save the Wizarding world and marries his soul-mate, usually Hermione. Yeah, I've read several good fics involving that one," shrugging looking at the grim reaper.
"Yes that one, major plot hole in that one is the fact erasing Harry's memory and forcing to relive his life to a certain point then him dying. Rinse and repeat until the reaper gets fed up and simply gives the boy his memories to start instigating the changes in his life. Those 'counterparts' are made to be incredibly stupid." Death turning to look out the window her beautiful face becoming marred in a scowl. "I am Death, to even imply that I am stupid is affront to eveything I stand for. Rest assure those idiots will be paying for it in the future. One time reversal would have been enough, complete with all the tools I could provide for Harry, he is to be my master afterall."
Raising my eyebrow, "and you're okay with that?"
The beautiful creature turned to me and smirked slightly, "he does become rather handsome and whomever he chooses to be his soul-mate will be his perfect match, including being my master, I'll be willing serve them equally in every aspect."
Blushing slightly, "Wow who knew death is raging pervert?"
The grim reaper snorts, "I maybe a divine being but even I have needs."
With a shrug, "Whatever, again what am I in all this?"
"I brought you here to be Harry's non-magical guardian, and to deny Voldemort one of his chief lieutenants," Death responded. "Harry still has a soul-mate."
"One, that chief lieutenant better be Bellatrix cause I don't bat for the other team, regardless of how prissy Lucius Malfoy is," I snort shuddering.
Death chortled for a second before gesturing with her hand. "Head up three blocks and turn right you'll be on Grimmauld street, wait there I'll be going into the Black family house and providing young Bellatrix an opportunity to escape her horrible original fate."
"Something tells me it involved something nasty and pure-blood-ish," I muttered with a grimace.
"The Lestrange twins and Druella originally on this night cement an alliance between there families by having the twins pin young Bellatrix and well, destroy her in ways best left unsaid," Death stated.
"Cruciatus curse?" I asked a simple shake of Death's head and with that I knew exactly how they destroy the young woman. "The girl's own aunt allowed that!" growling in anger for a moment thinking if I only had a gun, but that wouldn't work those two bastards would probably transfigure the bullets before they got the their targets and only invite follow up shots with the Killing Curse. After a few seconds an inspirational idea hit me, "Don't suppose you could give me a Caster gun complete with schematics for gun improvments and Caster shells?"
Death's face broke into a truly evil grin, "I made the right choice," A second later felt my side get heavier and then my waist bulk up slightly. Glancing down I saw Gene Starwinds model of Caster gun in a detective's holster and at my waist were the Caster shells bandolier. I put my truck in drive eyes firmly set speeding off toward Number 12 Grimmauld place. "just remember drive them off but don't kill them, unfortunately they must be alive to attack the Longbottom family."
"Right, I don't like it but I understand, what about Bellatrix?" I asked.
Death smirked, "You've been given your nineteen year old body back, and Bellatrix is currently seventeen not only that you'll rescue her from her potential attackers. I'll let you do the math."
Raising an eyebrow, "Me and Bellatrix," I thought a moment, considering what happens in four years, and the fact Harry needed somene who knew the Magical community. Who better than Harry's godfather's cousin. "Damn, does that mean Dumbledore is going to be a manipulative dick then?"
"Not intentionally," Death stated. "Stop."
Pulling over just as Death vanished no doubt entering the Black estate, I stepped out of my truck pulling out the paper of sporting events looking like I was looking for something. Barely a second later a saw a girl roughly a couple of years younger than myself come running from out of no where with clothing barely covering her, she was looking around wildly. "Hey miss something wrong?" I asked. The girl turn to me and I have to admit, Bellatrix without the years of Azkaban and the draining effect of the Dementors on her she was drop dead gorgeous. Running up to me, I barely had time to react before spell fire went flying over my head. I grabbed Bella and ducked behind my truck looking up over the hood I spotted both Lestrange brothers and Druella Black. Pulling the caster gun from the holster with a sneer.
"Guns won't work," the girl whimpered.
Pulling out one of the shells and smirked at her, "Normal guns yeah I get that," loading the gun I took aim at Sirius's sweet mother. I'm not suppose to kill those two asses, she said nothing about killing the old bitch. I've never killed before, heck I despise the idea of killing for pleasure or sport. Pulling the trigger the gun fired what I guess you could consider a flame spell. It blew past the twins and struck Druella directly in the chest, then exploded in flames, the old woman screamed in agony. The scream caused the two Lestrange brother's to turn and seeing the result looked back in fear and anger.
"Mudblood," the bigger of the twins scowled.
Looking down I noted the caster gun was infact a six shooter, quickly putting six shells into the chambers, and smirked. "I don't know who you clowns are but the lady clearly wants nothing to do with you. You got two choices, we continue this stand off and wait for the aurors or the muggle police to show up or you take the husk and run."
Both men let out low growls glaring at me as I peaked over the hood occasionally glancing back at the girl who was watching me with undiguised awe. Wow, I think I just achieve either Spike Speagle or Gene Starwind level of badassery. A second later the two twins fell back and grabbed the husk of Druella Black, then apparated out. As soon as they vanished I slumped against the wheel of my truck and slid down gasping for breath. Bellatrix slumped quietly in relief as the adrenline wore off she started shivering in shock and breaking down into sobs. I took a deep breath before turning away from her and promptly threw up. Well, throw being a badass out the window.
Wiping my mouth and grimacing at the taste in my mouth, "T-Thank you," came a tearful whisper.
"I despise rapist," I muttered softly. "And judging by way your clothes are all torn up, I'd say those two clowns were not taking no for an answer."
Bellatrix nodded sadly rubbing her shoulders shivering again, "I was being betrothed to one of them, forced to consumate it tonight to seal the contract." She then looked panicked. "W-We need to leave, they'll be back and they'll bring him with them."
I curse mentally, Fuck me sideways, forgot about the snake asshole is alive right now. Nodding helping her up I open the passenger door for her before running around to the otherside. Jumping in, I waved her in and shut the door. Starting the truck I quickly burned rubber out of there.
Death was guiding me along the streets while that was happening I needed to think up a credible backstory and only one made any real sense. "Well I guess introductions are in order, name's Brad Wall, Runes Master and American born squib."
Bellatrix raised an eyebrow, "I'm Bellatrix Black, how can you be a Runes Master and a squib."
I snort glancing at her, "You Brits and your social dogmas, we Yanks as you call us don't treat squibs like pariahs, each squib don't have a wide variety of magic like the rest of the Wizarding world but we do still have magic, but it's more focused or channeled. Squibs are sevants in a single disipline of magic, in my case Rune crafting," I pulled out one of my caster shells and handed it to her. Death from the rear view mirror smiled at me, indicating this is exactly what she wanted me to do and what I was alternatively here for.
Bellatrix turned the shell over in her hand looking at the bullet in awe. "I've never seen this design before and I was one of the top students in Ancient Runes at Hogwarts," she pouted slightly. "I could almost be offended by this."
I chuckle slightly, "I spent a few years perfecting those runes, each one has different effects and are numbered. The one your holding is a number 3, the one I fired at that old woman was a number 16, causes an intense burst of flames." Bellatrix handed me back the shell looking out at the street. "I have two that are considered Super Shells, one is a number 4 it creates a mini-black hole, but at the cost of my life force, and a number 9 I call Repulse, essentially it sends the person its fired at flying. I believe you have a spell similar called a banishing hex," he saw Bellatrix nod. "Anyway this one is way stronger and again drains my life force."
Bellatrix shuddered slightly, "Have you ever used them?"
"Only in testing and never back to back," I stated I lean back and sigh. "So have anyone one you can get in touch with that will help you?"
Bellatrix winced looking down at my glove box, "I've burned a lot of bridges with the remainder of my family. My cousin probably wants nothing to do with me, my eldest sister was disowned by my grandfather, and my second eldest sister, is married to a known Death Eater. I would probably end up right where I started if I went to her."
I tentatively reached over and gently laid my hand on her shoulder, when she didn't push my hand away I started rubbing her shoulder. "Probably the cousin that wants nothing to do with you and the disowned sister are not people that give any indication they'll hate you outright doubly so if you tell them what happened."
She shook her head, "right now I best just lay low, I'm going to be hunted by the Lestrange brother's until they get what they want. And with them, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is bound to follow."
"Then I suggest a little muggle roughing it for a while," I chuckle the girl turned to look at me raising her delicate eyebrow. Her eyes warmed looking at me, bringing me to remember how fanatical the original Bellatrix had been to Voldemort. Looking at her out the corner of my eye I notice her ripped robes had slipped off her shoulders revealing soft silky skin and generous amount of cleavage. "First order of business, some new clothes."
Re-focusing on the road a second later I heard Bellatrix 'eep', smiling slightly.
Bellatrix would become a permanent part of my life after that night, and it took less than a year afterward before I told her, about Death and her plans for us. "I wasn't originally meant to be saved?"
Death gave a slow shake of her head, "You originally were raped and crucio into insanity, becoming Tom Riddle's loyal left hand Lieutenant, helped torture the Longbottoms into their own insanity, and inadvertantly killed your cousin Sirius, before finally being killed two years later by Molly Weasely."
Bellatrix shuddered at what originally happened to her, before lunging at me wrapping her arms around my waist burying her face into my chest. "T-Thank you again, for saving me that night. I-I never want to become a monster," she looked up at me leaning down I kissed her forehead, she broke into the warmest smiles I'd ever seen.
"And you won't you're never becoming Bellatrix Lestrange," Death smirked. "Bellatrix Wall however, that has a better ring to it."
Blushing slightly glaring at the grim Reaper, "Are you sure you're not Botan?"
"As if, that flighty little floozy has nothing on me," Death harumphed crossing her arms over her chest and sticking her nose into the air pouting.
Bella giggled watching the by play her cheeks still a bit pink, "So what happens?"
"Brad needs to secure enough capitol so you can live comfortably, and when the unfortunate events begin to occur, you'll need to take steps. Once Voldemort is defeated the two of you need to be in Surrey before Dumbledore and snatch Harry from his aunt's porch after he leaves. As a member of the Noble and Ancient House of Black, Bellatrix can blood adopt Harry because his great grandmother was a Black."
Bellatrix eyes widen, "Great Aunt Dorea, I completely forgot about that."
I smiled then turned to the grim reaper, "then we wait a week and let the Lestranges get imprisoned for their crimes. Bella can finally come out of hiding and with her blood adoption of Harry, we can get Harry's parents will read which could have evidence that Sirius was innocent."
Death nods, "Exactly, then you begin hunting the Horcruxes."
Bellatrix growled softly, "I knew the Dark Lord was foul but to create six of those things."
"Five, the ring, locket, journal, cup, and diadem, are the only ones currently made, the snake doesn't get turned into one until Harry's fourth year," I stated. "Right now the locations are as followed, Journal's with Malfoy, the cup is still probably in the Lestrange vault, if not then it was placed in either Malfoy's vault or Notts. The diadem is in Hogwarts, the ring is in the Gaunt house under a shit load of protections, the last one is in your old house Bella."
Bella frowned sadly, "It's nice Regulus, turned on that snake wanker, just wish it hadn't gotten him killed."
If it wasn't for Bellatrix sad delivery of that line I would have laughed at first, I waited a minute before snorting in laughter anway which drew her eyes to me. "Snake wanker, really Bella," I leaned in kissing her on the cheek.
She blushed slightly before shrugging, "It's better than saying his name, or You-Know-Who."
"True, true, and it's funny as hell," looking over at Death, standing up and looking over at my caster gun, "Need to make a new one of these, I'm thinking Hawkmoon or maybe Thorn." The grim reaper rolled her eyes as the former six shooting Caster gun, morphed into Hawkmoon's distinctive silver and black design. Smirking, walking over and picking it up aiming down sights at the ground nodding at the feel. "Oh yeah, I'm lovin' it."
"Good luck the next time we'll meet will be after the Lestranges arrest." With that Death vanished.
XXX Three years later… October 31, 1981 2:00 am XXX
Brad sat quietly in the driver seat of his truck, feeling Bella head laying her head softly on his shoulder, some quiet gurgling going on in Bella's lap. Brad spotted the purple robes of Albus Dumbledore emerge at the mouth of Privet Drive, slowly moving up using his put-outer to snuff out the lamps on the street failing to notice the truck and its occupants. "Seriously, having a baby left out on a porch in a blanket at minimum for four hours, whelp its official the old man is senile."
Bella snorted watching as McGonagall morphed out of her animagus form. "What's that say about Minerva and Rubeus?"
"Sheep following the shepard," Looking down at his child kissing the girls forehead, "Hows my little Tammy doing?"
"Sleeping, like she always is," Bellatrix smiled fondly at her daughter. "I'm surprised I've heard horror stories about children never sleeping at night."
"Gets it from me, my mom said I rarely ever made a sound at night, well I did my grandmother groan at how cheerful I was so early in the morning," Brad smirked.
Bella raised a delicate eyebrow at him, "That changed, now you're grouchy."
With a shrug Brad watched as Hagrid on Sirius's bike make an appearance, rolling down the window to listen to the three. After they finally apparated out, Bellatrix gently handed Brad their daughter and quietly under an invisibility cloak moved to the front porch of number 4 privet drive, the former youngest Black sister, quietly plucked the boy note in all from the porch and moved back to the truck. Sliding the cloak off of her gently switched her hold using her wand to check Harry over, before putting her wand away and gesturing for Tamera Elizabeth Wall to be given back to her, cradling both children. "Just a bloody note, and not even the decency to knock on the door, your right that old man is senile."
Brad sighed shaking his head looking at the boy smiling slightly, "Well back home and wait for our little exile to get lifted. Can only imagine what people are going to think when Bellatrix Wall walks into the Wizengamot, in two weeks for Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestranges trial."
Bella smirked, "They'll have a heart attack, one Black sister married a muggleborn and another married a squib."
"And out of all of them I imagine poor little Cissa, is the only one totally unhappy with her limp dick husband," the rune master chuckled.
Bella's eye widen in mock fear, "My love are you implying that Draco, Scion of Noble House Malfoy is not Lucius's legitimate son."
Giving a mocking look of being pompous, puffing out his chest as he started his truck Brad stated in a very fake British accent, "My dear Bella, we both know that Lucius Malfoy is to full of self-love to ever get it up unless he looks at himself in a mirror, and I seriously doubt your dear sister would allow it."
The former Black sister giggled slightly, "You might be right, even in school Lucius was just too into himself, I believe you called him the prissy type."
With a nod the truck pulled out of the drive and headed back out, it took them an hour to get to their special parking garage across from Diagon Alley, enter the fireplace they had installed and entered their flat just over their rune shop. Bellatrix was waiting until the Death Eater trials, even though her muggle marriage to Brad had freed her of the marriage contract, her Aunt put her in she felt she needed more closure than a simple trip to Azkaban for the Lestrange brothers, namely burning their bits off. Conjuring a second crib for Harry she place both children in their separate cribs. Leaning back up watching them both a small smile graced her features. "I have children, I… my alternate self never knew the joy this brings." Tears streamed down her face. "I pity her now."
"Well, she'll never exist, Bella. That poor creature is long gone," Brad gently kissed her neck. "I see something way better and far more beautiful."
"You just want to shag me," Bella snorts.
"Very true," came the reply.
Author's Note: My pseudo take of the Reptilla28 challenge, its more an inspiration rather than an out right acceptance of the challenge. Most will probably won't see this until I've actually finish the fic and download it all in one fell swoop.