Yeah, I don't know how I feel about this one but I'll give it a go...
The thing which hurt the most was the fact that she managed to push everyone away. She managed to make sure she controlled it all. She loved Liam and she missed him she had something good with Trevor but she ruined it and that hurt her because she knew deep down the comparison she was trying to make between the two men who weren't in her life for that long. She couldn't entirely believe that Trevor was happy being himself it felt so foreign, Liam strived for ambition and Trevor he was happy being Trevor he didn't want to be an overly ambitious individual and that felt so wrong on many levels, she felt as if he should be. She was used to being around men who strived to succeed who lived in a pool of success, Liam and Paul, they had Underworld and they were ambitious enough to make it succeed. When she owned Underworld with Liam they strived for success as well and then when Tony took over his ambition it was overwhelming but either way, she was surrounded by it and those feelings of ambition made her feel at home.
Yes, she screwed up with Trevor and yes she hated herself for it, she hated herself so much that the only way she could consider with dealing with her problems was in the bottom of a bottle of red, or whiskey, or, well, anything really. She became reliant and she knew it but overall it helped, it really did help, she had a stressful time of it but it really did help, it made everything that little more bearable and it made everything seem so much easier to cope with.
Everyone was telling her to mindful of her boozing but did she care, no not really, after all, she was her own person and she wasn't going to stop herself any time soon. She had actually lost her ambition and it was ironic in a way because her life was always full of ambition, work was slow and she was struggling with that but she didn't really feel the need to do anything about it, she knew she should because people relied on her to make a living for themselves, she just wishes she had the willpower and determination she used to have.
Their words rung in her ears though, she knew she did possibly have a problem she would never admit it to anyone though. She thought that she really did need to nip this whole thing in the bud so she decided she would speak to an alcohol support group. It was a big step for her, an almost sobering thought, she went through with it, she needed to go through with it to save herself and to save others.
It was a whirlwind as soon as she entered the room she clocked him, she clocked her friend's fiance and her anxiety heightened for her need to find excuses to say why she was at this venue. She did but it didn't stop the cogs in Peter's brain whirring, was there someone else which he knew who had a problem like him, it really did intrigue me but he knew that Carla was an extremely private person and wouldn't want attention brought to herself. After he had finished at the support group he headed to the pub to see Leanne and then Carla walked in and ordered booze, his interest was piqued and he was very analytical over her behaviour. She soon left and that was that, but something didn't sit right with him still, it was obvious to him that she was highly inebriated. He made his excuses and followed her to the factory.
"Hello?" he calls out, she's alerted and scared
"What are you doing here?" she tumbles over to him and leans on the doorframe, she's barely able to hold herself upright
"Woah, ok, I think you've had a bit too much haven't you?"
"Barely enough darlin'" she cackles stumbling over to her chair, he sighs sitting on the desk "Uh do you mind?"
"I do, as a matter of fact, you were going to that AA meeting weren't you?"
"Conversational Spanish actually "she quips, he chuckles at her denial "Leave Peter"
"How much have you had?" he interrogates she slams her mug down on the desk before standing in front of him, she rests her head oh the desk and lets out a sigh
"None of your business!" she shouts standing up he grabs hold of her so she didn't fall "Go home, Peter"
"No Carla" he responds shaking his head "You were going to that meeting weren't you?"
"Please!" she cries exasperatedly he keeps hold of her so she didn't fall "Get off of me!"
"Carla, please just speak to me I might be able to help"
"Go back to Leanne!" she sneers grabbing the bottle and swigging from it actively, he eyes it up, it was tempting he also wondered how she did it without wincing "I mean it, Peter!"
"Give me the bottle" he gestures for her to hand it over to him she shakes her head biting her lip "Ok well speak to me then?"
"What's there to say?" she slurs slumping down into her chair again "After all you're a model alchy student arent you? Saint Peter Barlow"
"Very funny" he smirks rolling his eyes "So you were at that meeting then?"
"You're never going to give up are you?"
"Nope" he grins she sighs nodding "Right so you have a problem?"
"Hardly!" she exclaims, her shrill voice echoing around the office "I'm not like you"
"I'm not like you I don't go attempting to barbequing my kid, I don't set me flat on fire and I don't marry two people at once!"
"Well, you won't do that will you if you give me the bottle?"
"Why do you want it? So you can have a drink of it?"
"No so you don't drink it" he rolls his eyes she stands in front of him the bottle dangling in her dainty fingers
"Does it tempt you Peter?" she purrs seductively, he gulps "Does is tempt you to have a little sip, just one iddy biddy sip?"
"Yes but I'm not going to succumb"
"Oh really?" she bites her lip unscrewing the cap and taking a mouthful of the golden liquid "Is it seducing you?"
"Carla stop it" he replies nervously, he watches her take another sip and he really did want it to quench his thirst "You don't have to do this"
"You don't have to be sober"
"I do because if I drink I can't stop"
"That's what makes you and me different" she whispers taking his hand and placing it on the bottle "You can't stop whereas I can so I don't have a problem"
"Stop this" he gulps taking the bottle, he takes a sniff "Why are you doing this?"
"Because life is so much better when you have a drink" she states taking the bottle and drinking it she holds it out and he takes it, he poises it to his lips and all the progress simmers away as the fluid trickles down his throat "Don't you feel better already"
"How do you do it?"
"Drink and not wince" he chuckles drinking more of the alcohol she provided "Drink and feel nothing"
"Drink solves everything, it numbs you the more you do it" she sits on the desk "I didn't expect you to succumb so easily, Leanne doesn't have you very well trained does she?"
"Leanne can never find out"
"Leanne won't be finding out from me" she slurs slightly grabbing another bottle from her desk "Oh look"
"Do you have a secret cellar in here?" he quips downing the rest of the whiskey, she just shrugs "Unique place to store it I must admit"
"Woman of many talents me" she smirks pouring out some vodka from the bottle "To being alchys?"
"To being alchys" he clinks the bottle with her mug, he joins her on the desk "You intrigue me"
"Oh, I'm not sure how to take that" she slurs smiling widely, "Why do you care so much? Actually no don't answer that it's probably something like 'girl code' but in alchy form"
"You'd be right" he mumbles slightly the alcohol starting to take effect "So come on then why do you actually drink?"
"To forget" she shrugs "It's as simple as that really"
"What do you have to forget?"
"The mistakes I made, Liam, he were the love of my life and I blew it, Tony he killed my Liam then attempted to kill me, Trev, he was perfect but I wanted him to be someone he wasn't I just couldn't be happy"
"And drinking makes you happy?" he slurs she nods slowly "You shouldn't put yourself down"
"Well why's that then?" she snaps he raises his hands above his head
"Because you're stunning" he whispers "You look amazing, anyone would bite your arm off if they were in their right minds"
"Yeah well I would go and ruin it anyway" she replies glumly, he shakes his head "Leanne would not be happy with you calling me stunning"
"I don't care about her right now"
"More like you don't care about the earful you're going to get when you head 'ome"
"Summat like that" he mumbles looking up at her
"Do you want another drink to take the edge off?"
"You're a bad influence aren't ya?"
"Queen of sins me" she responds with a shrug handing him the bottle which he drinks out of before taking it and drinking it herself again "Leanne doesn't deserve you"
"I know, she's going to hate me for this" he mutters she nods slowly
"Temptation always wins out doesn't it?"
"Hm," he nods taking her hand "How do you put on that front of yours then?"
"Well you have to, what choice do I have, I 'ate sympathy and if it was moody all the time and sad people would just question" she shrugs before rubbing her eyes tiredly "I'm shattered, to be honest, I think I should head home"
"No, don't go" he sighs, she raises her eyebrows turning to face him "Please don't"
"Stay, finish this bottle with me?" he slurs holding it up, she takes it and swigs a load from it he does the same "I'll tell you something the next fella you get with he's going to be the luckiest bloke"
"Hmm maybe but by that point pigs will be flying" she cackles he smiles looking into her eyes, she looks at him, she leans forward and brushes her lips against his which he reciprocates, their tongues dancing together in harmony, he guides her over to the chair, their lips still connecting as they pull at each other's clothes, Peter was stripped by Carla and likewise with Carla, there was no going back now...