32A/N I am pretty sure everyone mentioned here is from DreamWorks, but if I made a mistake please tell me and I'll try to fix it.
Hiccup wiped sweat from his brow as he trudged across the stage. It was true what they said about the stage lights making it hot; viking clothing was a very poor choice of attire. At least it wasn't as hot as some of his other versions' clothes. Technically, he could appear as himself from any point in the franchise he wanted, but he usually chose himself from the end of his original movie as that was the version the most children had grown up with.
He reached the microphone at the center of the stage, but no one noticed. There was always too much chaos in every corner of the club for anyone to notice unless he did something to get their attention.
Behind him was a logo of a boy fishing from atop a crescent moon with words "The DreamWorks Club" spelled out beneath. The House of Mouse is more creatively named thought Hiccup, but in my opinion our club is way more fun
With the speakers blaring music from somebody's movie, everyone from vikings to talking animals conversing, so much gambling he still wasn't sure if this place was built half nightclub/half casino or if it'd unintentionally become so, and a few magical or sciency disasters that often ended in a either big mess or sometimes a bar fight, him talking or even shouting into the microphone wouldn't do any good.
Unsure what else to do, he tapped the mic with his finger several times until every eye was on him.
"Don't do that; you're gonna get fingerprints all over it!" shouted one of the Penguins of Madagascar, but he couldn't tell which one.
Hiccup cleared his throat. "So, um, as most of you know, due to our colossal archives of fan fiction, Jack Frost and I have recently been made the new Emissaries to the Real World"
He took a deep breath. No one was going to like this part. "We're going to start the first ever Fan-Interaction meeting as soon as Jack gets back, but to do that we can't possibly have this many people in the room, so we're implementing a strict main-characters only policy. Everyone other than the lead protagonists needs to, uh, leave"
There was a brief moment of silence, then: "You heard the boy; all the side characters out!" called the Ugly Stepsister from her place behind the bar.
Groaning loudly, droves of characters began making their way to various exits. Hiccup was glad to see most had gotten the "less people the better" point, as he saw many main characters who must've had nothing to contribute to the meeting leaving as well.
He hopped down from the stage to the dance floor below. He began to weave his way toward the back of the room while nearly stepping on Puss in Boots' tail. Eventually, he got to the small white couches where his friends sat.
After giving a quick wave to Monkey, who must've been hanging out with Shrek and Fiona, as he left, Hiccup sat down next to Megamind in the seat previously occupied by Roxanne.
"That could've gone worse, eh?" said Shrek with a smile.
"No, almost completely emptying an entire nightclub is always the easiest thing ever" agreed Hiccup with his trademark sarcasm.
Hiccup heard something crash and looked over to find Po who had accidentally knocked over the coffee table sending someone's drinks with it. "Sorry," said the clumsy panda as he righted the table before sitting on a stool. "So, when will-"
Po didn't need to finish his question as at that moment Jack Frost flew through the door. "Hey, are we ready to start?" asked Jack, lowering himself from ceiling height to the floor.
"I guess so" said Shrek as Jack sat down.
"Then let's begin," said Moses. Everyone involuntarily sat up straighter when he spoke. It wasn't that they didn't like him, but having an animated version of a religious figure to millions of people, from one of the highest acclaimed animated movies ever, in the same room as characters from literal comedies was... intimidating, to say the least.
"Rise of the Guardians and How to Train Your Dragon have amassed such large fandoms that the protagonists of those seem to be the best choices for a line of communication between us and the real world" Moses continued.
"Hiccup probably gets more attention from DreamWorks than everyone else, too," said Jack with a grin.
"Yes. Meanwhile I don't get a sequel because my movie hit the-ah-ters in between two other movies that both got whole franchises" said Megamind in his signature dramatic tone. He elbowed Hiccup; "Thanks for that, by the way" he jabbed, but in good nature. He knew Hiccup didn't have any more control over his movie's release date than he did.
"Wasn't there supposed to be a Shrek 5 that got cancelled?" asked Po. "What was that about?"
While Po's query went unanswered, Jack responded to Megamind with: "You're one to talk. At least you got that Halloween special that has nothing to do with Halloween. I have this huge fandom but I didn't even get a short!"
"I'm still fairly new here," said Yi. "Is this what usually happens whenever you discuss sequels?"
"Every time" helpfully supplied Donkey. Wait...
"Side characters were supposed to leave, Donkey!" said Shrek.
"Yes, but I'm in the movies about as much you are!" said Donkey cheerfully. Shrek briefly wondered if audiences would find Donkey being annoying so funny if they were the ones that had to put up with him all the time.
Hiccup sighed. "Oh, what the heck" he mumbled under his breath. "It's not like anyone ever follows the other rules anyway"
"I guess time will tell if Yi gets a sequel" said Donkey, going back to the previous subject.
"Hey, write that down!" Jack said to Hiccup, who had the notepad.
"Write what down?" asked Hiccup.
"Ask the fans if they think there will be a sequel to Abominable".
"And that's what we're doing," said Moses, trying to draw the meeting back to the topic at hand. Disney had Mickey, but DreamWorks' most iconic characters weren't exactly up to filling the same role, so Moses had been unofficially put in charge of most everything. "We will all give Jack and Hiccup any questions we have for the fans, they'll ask them and then come back and tell us the answers"
An uncomfortable silence stretched several seconds.
Realizing the cause of the tension in the room, Moses stood. "While I do have questions for the real world, I won't be addressing any today as they all pertain to subjects too serious for such a light-hearted meeting. I'm going to leave now, if that's alright with everyone. Jack, Hiccup, can you two run this from here on?" he asked.
"I think so," said Hiccup.
As soon as he took his exit a more relaxed mood instantly settled across the room.
"Alright. Who wants to go first?" asked Jack.
Po raised his hand. "What's it like not being able to control physics?" he asked.
That confused Hiccup. "What?"
"We're cartoon characters. Most cartoons aren't bound by actual laws of physics; we just kinda run around and do whatever as long as it fits the story. Real life doesn't grant you that freedom. Ask the fans how they live like that," Po explained.
"I'm sure somebody will have a fun time explaining that one," mumbled Jack, part sarcastic and part genuine.
"For that matter, ask them what they think looks... better? Live action or animation?" asked Shrek.
"Oh! Ask what the best animated movie for the parents' to watch with the kids is!" said Donkey practically jumping up and down. "And not just because of all the stuff with a double meaning"
"Double meaning?" Hiccup asked as he realized what it meant a second too late.
"You know, things how like we made fun of Farquaad for being short, but it was clear to all the adults in the audience we were actually talking about the size of his-"
"Ask them which of our movies made the biggest impact on them growing up and how," said Megamind, cutting Donkey off. "Also ask them which of our movies they're most likely to show to their current or future children that they haven't already"
"Oh! Ask the fans which movie they weren't expecting their parents to like as much as they did" said Po.
"Hey, I have a question!" yelled a small quiet voice from somewhere nearby.
Jack looked around but couldn't see who had spoken. "Who said that?" he asked.
"Me. Down here!" the voice said. Jack looked down to the coffee table to see the main ant from Antz.
"Hi…" Darn, what was his name?
"And see? You don't remember my name? That's my question,"
"No, I-wait, what?"
"No one ever talks about my movie anymore unless they're talking about the whole "Did Jeffery Katzenberg steal Pixar's movie" thing, and it's the same thing with A Bug's Life for that matter.
"So my question is: Why does no one ever talk Antz and A Bug's Life unless they're comparing Antz and A Bug's Life or accusing Antz of stealing from A Bug's Life"
"Say that five times fast" said Jack.
"Ask what the most underrated DreamWorks movie is," said Yi. That was what all characters always wondered. They could tell which one's were popular based on how much money they made or how much they were talked about online. But which ones were the hidden the hidden gems that got lost in the sea of more popular movies? That was what Yi wanted to discover.
"Alright," said Hiccup as he wrote that down. "Any more questions?"
"Uh...I have one" Megamind said, his voice higher than normal. His cheeks and ears were flushing purple; Jack guessed that was his version of a blush.
"What is it?" asked Hiccup.
"So, we're all from the old G-rated kids movie-er, they're not all rated G, but they should be,"
"I think ours is the only one that actually deserves it's PG rating" said Shrek, gesturing to himself and Donkey.
"Eh...anyway, all our movies are aimed at children, but they're obviously not the only people who like them. But they're all still meant for kids so why do people keep…"
Hiccup was having a very hard time not laughing at Megamind's embarrassment over whatever he was about to say. Jack was already losing that battle.
"Why do I keep going on the internet and seeing people wondering if my...um" said Megamind. His face burned purple.
"Why do I keep finding discussions on whether or not the fact that I'm an alien affects what I do in the bedroom?" He suddenly blurted out.
Jack Frost swore he didn't mean to start laughing at that.
Luckily though, laughter is contagious, and when Jack made Megamind himself start chuckling as well, suddenly the whole meeting was in hysterics.
"But seriously, though" said Megamind. "Of all movies with aliens in them…"
"You have got to be the last person I'd expect anyone to think about doing...that" said Jack. Megamind always viewed things with such a childlike innocence it was easy to forget sometimes that he was a full grown adult who had to deal with mature subjects same as any other, unlike the target audience whom he usually reminded them of.
"You realize for anyone to answer that they'd have to admit to taking part in those "discussions", not just coming across them" said Hiccup.
"Hey, we don't judge," said Po. "Besides, at least it's not as bad as admitting to watching all the adult Shrek memes,"
"Oh, here we go again" mumbled Shrek.
"It's even worse to be caught watching those in real life" said the Antz ant, "I've heard some crazy stories about that"
Donkey piqued up. "I heard this one about a schoolteacher and a-"
"Moving on!" said Jack.
"Ask who has the best special-DreamWorks- logo at the beginning of their movie" said Po.
"Ask which of our movies they didn't realize was DreamWorks," said Shrek.
"Ask which DreamWorks character they'd want to play if they got the chance to portray one of us" said Yi.
"I got one! Ask which of our movies would be the best to turn into a Broadway musical" Donkey said enthusiastically.
"The only ones I know of that were turned into musicals are the Prince of Egypt musical and Shrek the Musical" said Hiccup.
"Yeah, I think there's quite a bit more based on Disney movies" said Jack.
"It's kinda ironic; Of the two that were turned into musicals, one is probably our closest to what people think of when they think of classic Disney, and the other is a parody of classic Disney" said Jack.
"Well yeah the Prince of Egypt is 2D and it's a musical" said Shrek. "'Course it reminds people of Disney"
"Alright, any more questions?" asked Jack. No one responded. "Okay I think that's pretty good" he said.
"So we're going to ask these questions to fans in the real world," said Hiccup "and hopefully bring back their answers, and their questions for us too"
"Well I better be going now," said Donkey. "Hiccup, fly safe. Yi, say hi to Everest for me. Teenage boys, stop watching Shrek porn in class"
Just to recap, Hiccup read down the list of questions:
1. Do you think there will be a sequel to Abominable?
2. What's it like living with real physics?
3. What looks better, Live action or animation?
4. What's the best movie for parents to watch with their kids (not because of the dirty adult jokes)
5. Which of our movies made the biggest impact on you growing up?
6. Which movie are you most likely to show your future children? If you already have kids, which movie are you most likely to show them next, excluding the ones you've shown them already?
7. What movie were you not expecting your parents to like as much as they did?
8. Why does no one ever talk Antz and A Bug's Life unless they're comparing Antz and A Bug's Life?
9. What is the most underrated DreamWorks movie?
10. Why is a kids movie popular for things like alien x human smut?
11. Who has the best special-DreamWorks- logo at the beginning of their movie?
12. Which of our movies did you not realize was DreamWorks?
13. If you were going to play a character, which one would you pick?
14. Which of our movies would make the best stage musical?
A/N If any of you would like to answer any of their questions, I might just write another chapter where Jack and Hiccup read off the responses. If you do, please write your answer in a review or PM along with the question #. I won't say your name unless you ask me to.
Also if anyone has something they'd like to see the DreamWorks characters try to answer, Hiccup and Jack are here to take your questions as well!
Thanks for reading; hope you enjoyed!