I absolutely loved the movie, we definitely need like five more, right? I decided to focus more on how Henry's words affected Shawn rather than Shawn and Juliet's conversation (though it does play a part). I feel like we need more Shules in this world so enjoy!
Shawn sighed as he picked up the plate full of jellybeans and tossed the contents into the trash. There was no way he could pull off that dinner twice in one week. He opened the refrigerator and stood motionless for several minutes, it was the beeps coming from the appliance that sparked him into action. He grabbed the milk, butter, and shredded cheese. It was simple yet a classic, one of Jules' go-to meals after a rough day– today classified as one of those.
They'd rode home separately; Shawn gave her time to be with Carlton and Marlowe after the man's amazing triumph. Shawn was happy to have witnessed the moment, it reminded him just how strong the man truly was, yet he felt like an outsider. It nagged in his brain that he shouldn't have been privy to such a personal moment. He didn't deserve it.
Carlton's stroke hadn't truly registered in his mind until it took Juliet several minutes to put on her shoes. Watching his wife struggle to do simple tasks– consumed with the fate of her partner –had made him react. He had grabbed her sneakers and slipped them onto her feet, he had grabbed her purse and with a hand on the small of her back, he walked her to the car. He buckled her in and drove quickly down to Santa Barbara. Juliet hadn't even reprimanded him for going well over the speed limit.
She had stayed with the Lassiter's for a couple of weeks, insisted that she was okay and that he go home. Those two weeks had been brutal for him. He missed her terribly and wanted nothing more than to go down and be with her, but he knew he wouldn't have been welcomed. She needed to focus on Carlton and his family and with him being there she wouldn't have been able to. So, he threw himself into his work. He'd closed several cases in those two weeks, a personal best for him.
Two lonely weeks passed before she came home, relaying Carlton's slow progress yet hopefulness regarding his condition. Shawn almost didn't recognize her. Her blonde hair was lifeless as it sat wrapped in a messy bun on the top of her head. Her skin was pale and Shawn noticed the weight loss, no more than ten pounds, probably minimal to anyone else but him. He noticed and it worried him. She was stressing too much.
He had drawn her a bath and made her extra gooey Mac an' Cheese, just how she liked it. She'd inhaled two bowls before practically collapsing onto the couch in exhaustion. He'd picked her and taken her to bed, tucked her in, and waited for her to open those beautiful blue eyes of hers. She slept for fourteen hours that night.
It had been a normal day when Shawn received Carlton's call. He'd picked up immediately and noticed the tone of the man's voice. Carlton didn't sound like himself. Carlton rambled for several minutes about his situation, what he thought was going on, and asked Shawn for his help. Shawn agreed, promising that he and Gus would be there that afternoon.
"You don't have to worry about a thing Lassie, Gus and I will take care of everything – you just rest."
"Thank you, Spencer… and uh…."
A long pause.
"Please don't tell O'Hara, I don't want to worry her."
Despite the feeling in his stomach Shawn promised the other man that he wouldn't say a word to Juliet. He kept his promise; feeling guilty until he found out Juliet was hiding her own involvement from him. He didn't know if he was angry, upset, or just impressed by her. The longer they were married the more she seemed to be copying his playbook, doing absolutely anything for her partner.
He'd be lying if he hadn't thought that there might be something more to their relationship through the years, something romantic between them; after all, the majority of opposite-sex partners ended up with each other at some point. The thought made his stomach clench and his chest hurt. However, he was always brought down from that thought by her soft kisses and the way her hands roamed his body at night. Their marriage wasn't perfect, he knew that, but it was good. Stable. That's all he could ever ask for.
The front door opened just as Shawn finished divvying the noodles into two bowls. She kicked off her shoes and hung up her jacket, walking over to him with a tired look on her face. He gave her a warm smile and placed the blue bowl on the table in front of her favorite stool.
"Thanks," she mumbled taking a seat and lifting the full fork of cheesy goodness to her soft lips. He wasn't hungry anymore, but he sat across from her and put his own fork in the food.
"How's Lassiter?" he asked knowing what was on her mind.
"He's good," she smiled to herself. "you should have seen it, Shawn. I've never seen Marlowe happier– the moment he stood and walked to her…" she shook her head fondly. "She was so proud. So happy."
"I'm glad he's better," Shawn swirled his fork. "he's a great man. Probably the best I've ever known, I'm glad he's going to be okay."
"He still has a while to go, some therapy but eventually he'll be good as new." Juliet finally looked at him for the first time. Their communication had been next to none the past week, their first real conversation about their unreadiness to have a child. After Carlton had stood, Shawn had given her a small wave and gestured to the door. She nodded her acknowledgment and he was gone; not a single word said between them
Shawn tended to ramble when he was nervous or upset, he tried to avoid the actual issue as long as possible, so even though he was dead silent, Juliet knew something was bothering her husband. She reached out with her hand and grasped his own, giving him a reassuring squeeze, when he didn't return it, she knew something was wrong.
"Shawn, are you okay? What's wrong baby?" she ran her thumb along his knuckles.
"I'm fine," he shrugged off her concern continuing to play with his food. "it's nothing, really. I'm okay." The smile he gave her was obviously false. She didn't relent, staring at him until he cracked. It didn't take long. "I just…" he trailed off.
"I've been thinking about Carlton," he started.
He used Carlton's actual name; Juliet knew this couldn't be good. He only did that as serious Shawn.
"and his situation, and I just can't help but think that, well, I wouldn't want you to be around."
"What do you mean?" She frowned.
"if something like that ever happened to me, I wouldn't want to bring you down, Jules. I saw how stressed you were over Carlton– and not to assume my own importance –but I think that you'd be worse if it were me and I don't want that for you."
It took her a minute to digest his words.
"So, you're saying that if ever get sick or hurt, you want me to just leave?" she pulled her hands away from his. "Just walk away from you?"
He stopped pretending to be interested in his food, setting his fork down to the side, and refusing to meet her gaze.
"Shawn, is this because of the talk we had earlier? About kids? Because sweetie –"
"No, no, no." he interrupted her. "I feel like that's the one page we're both on right now and honestly, it feels good that we agree about something so important. I want kids someday, Jules, with you. You're going to be an amazing mom; I can already see it." He gave her a sad smile. "I just don't know where I'd fit in with the whole picture. I can't exactly ask that pull you all the weight."
He was starting to ramble.
"Shawn, what are you talking about?"
"I talked to my dad."
Juliet sighed, of course, this was all coming from some conversation he'd had with his father. Juliet loved her father-in-law, she truly did, but her tolerance for Henry Spencer had dropped significantly since they'd been married. Both his parents, actually. Neither Henry nor Madeline Spencer seemed to be involved in Shawn's life except to cause him some existential crisis which took her hours to fix. She'd more than once had to end a phone call between him and one of his parents; the look of panic and dread in his eyes conveying to her that it needed to be shut down. They always managed to hit his insecurities just perfectly.
"He said that the greatest moment of his life would be watching me fail," Shawn whispered playing with his fingers.
Juliet felt her body instantly tense.
"And this was right after I told him that I thought you were pregnant."
If she wasn't willing to kill Henry before she was now.
"Shawn, your dad is an idiot." She stood from the stool and walked around the table to cup his chin and force him to look at her. "You're an amazing guy, Shawn, and husband, only you would know what meal to make me after an eventful day. You even used my favorite cheese."
"Colby-Jack," he whispered.
"Colby-Jack," she repeated with a smile. "You know how to instantly cheer me up and I know these past few weeks, well, months have been stressful but being with you practically makes all that go away."
"You mean it?" The tone of his voice made her heart break for him.
"Mhm," she leaned down and kissed him. Despite his foul mood, his lips moved fluidly with hers. "I'm half tempted to let you get me pregnant just to show you how incredible you are." She caressed his cheek. "You mean the world to me, Shawn. I can't imagine my life without you."
"Some nights I do," he confessed. "and some nights I think you'd be better off without me."
"I wouldn't, baby." She assured him moving to straddle him on the stool. His arms wrapped around her back to support her as she pushed herself into his front and kissed him deeply. He moaned through the kiss when one of her hands trailed down his chest and stomached at his stomach. "I love you, Shawn Spencer. I will never, ever, ever just walk away from you for any reason. You got that?"
He nodded and buried his face into her neck. What a turn around. He had planned on being her rock tonight, but like always, she shocked him by turning the table. He truly didn't know what he would do without her. His partner in life.
"I know we may fight, and sometimes I just want to rip your head off, but I wouldn't want it any other way." She placed a loving kiss on his forehead. "You're the best, Shawn, you know that, right?"
"You make me want to be, Jules."
They kissed again, their mutual want and need pouring through their lips.
"Shawn," she got off his lap and grabbed him by his hands pulling him up. "let's go practice." She gave him a bright smile.
"Practice?" his eyebrows furrowed. "Oh," realization donned on him as she walked him to the bedroom. "I'd very much like that."
"I thought you would." She slid the bedroom door shut behind them.
Some nights never changed.