Hello, Qoy.

Hi, Data. You wanted to see me? You look upset.

I am…troubled.


Yes, Qoy. To put it bluntly, I have cheated on you.

Cheated on me?

I believe that is the correct expression to use. It generally means where one human in a romantic couple has a…"romantic fling" with another human other than the human—

-Data! You've had a "romantic fling" with someone other than me?

Yes—exactly 42 minutes, 34 seconds ago. Well, it was not a "romantic fling," more like…an encounter. Perhaps I had better explain it to you.

Yes, perhaps you'd better!

Data was once again working with Dr. Crusher as a masseur. A female crew member came into the office.

"Hi, Commander Data," she said.

"Hello. I believe you are Lt. Robina Swerra, in the astrophysics wing?"

"Yes, that's right. Dr. Crusher says you sometimes give massages?"

"That is correct. Where would you like your massage, please?"

"My feet."

"All right. Take your shoes and socks off and lie down."


She did this. He began massaging her feet.

"This is an indulgence I don't often experience."


"My husband used to frequently massage my feet. He died a year ago."

"I am sorry."

They grew silent, and he continued his massage. As he did this, her pleasure became increased. "Data, could you press down a little harder, please?"

"Like this?"

"Oh, yes!" She began breathing heavily.

"Are you all right, Lt. Swerra?"

"I am WONDERFUL, Data! You're better than Paul was!"


"My husband!"

"I do not understand; how am I better than he was?"

"You've opened all of my senses!"

"By just massaging your feet?"

"Oh, yes! Oh, Data!"

She suddenly got up and grabbed him! She hugged and kissed him wildly! "Data, you've lit my fire!"

"Lt. Swerra!"

"Oh, Data, you've made me so hot!"

"Hot? Do you mean sexually arroused?"


"By just massaging your feet?"

"Oh, yes! First, my feet, then, my heart!"

She continued hugging and kissing him. Finally, he hit her on a spot on her head. This caused her to pull away from him.

"I am sorry, Lt. Swerra. You see, I am, as the Earth expression goes, 'spoken for.'"

"You are?"


"Oh. I'm sorry."

"It is all right."

She began putting her shoes and socks back on. "I'm sorry I behaved the way I did, Data."

"I accept your apology, Lt. Swerra."

"Perhaps I should have Dr. Crusher massage my feet, next time!"

"Yes, perhaps you should."

Her shoes back on, she left the room.

Qoy, why are you laughing!

Oh, that was so funny, Data! I'm not the least bit upset with you!

You are not?

No, Data. I forgive you completely!

I am very relieved, Qoy. Shall we, as the expression goes, "kiss and make up?"

Yes, Data!


I wonder if a foot massage will have that effect on you, Qoy.

Let's find out!

All right!