A/N: This is a request fic several years in the making. Well, the request was anyways. I only just recently got around to doing this. My apologies that it took a pandemic for me to get off my ass, but I hope you enjoy this AlphaGodzilla19! XD
Chapter 1: Para Para Prank
"Did you really take on an alien warlord all by yourself?"
Goten laid back on his couch with a smirk. He snaked his arm across Valese's shoulder as she snuggled closer. "You bet I did. I went right up to that smug prick and socked him right in jaw!"
Goten grinned as Valese swooned and looked up at him starry-eyed. "You must be really strong!"
"Oh yeah, definitely."
"Oh wow, you've never told me that story before! What was his name?"
Aaaand mood ruined.
Goten's eyes narrowed the slightest fraction at the voice. The demon had arrived, bearing her sickeningly sweet smile. "What are you doing here, Pan? You aren't supposed to be here right now."
Valese looked at Goten with a bit of surprise. "Is she your daughter?"
Goten blanched at the thought. "Not a chance! She's my niece." He barely managed to hold back the "from Hell" that wanted to spill from his lips.
Pan smiled, innocently. "Yep! I love my Uncle Goten! I especially love the stories my Dad and my Grandma told me about him as a baby!"
Valese smiled deviously, leaning forward to soak in every detail. "Oh? Do tell!"
Goten's eyes widened in fear. This team up was absolute treachery. It could not be allowed to flourish! It would spell the end for him.
"Well, there was this time when-"
"Um, I think we should take a rain-check on this date! Let me show you to the door!"
Valese pouted as Goten lightly ushered her through the door and into her car. Goten waved as she drove off before he went back inside with a glare. "What the heck, Pan?! I thought we had an agreement on you not showing up during date night?!"
Pan shrugged with another sickeningly sweet smile. "What ever do you mean, my dear uncle?"
Goten groaned and walked over to the living room table to snag the remote. "Oh forget it!"
He and Pan watched TV for a while until Gohan and Videl came back from their date. They'd been having some relationship issues and problems at work recently. Naturally, he hadn't cared much about the details.
Everyone else, unfortunately, happened to be busy, and they couldn't find any babysitters who could keep up with the energetic kid. So, he'd drawn the short stick. He was happy that his brother got to work through his issues and all, don't get him wrong, but he had seriously been looking forward to some quality time with Valese.
He sneaked a glance at the mischievous child every now and then, only to find her looking back at him with her tongue sticking out.
Yep. Always the cocky little bastard.
By the time Gohan had finally arrived, Goten was more than a little bit annoyed. Pan had always had a bit of a playful side which was fine and all. It made her really fun to be around. But that playfulness quickly lead to pranks, teasing, and embarrasing moments mostly at the half-Saiyan's expense.
He'd even able to stomach all of those past grievances. But this, this was too far. There would be repercussions. That Goten was sure of.
"Thanks, for watching Pan, Goten," Gohan said, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I really owe you one!"
Goten shrugged off his brother's hand as he grabbed his keys and headed for the door. He felt a twinge of guilt at the confused look on his brother's face, but he kept on going. "You bet you do."
As the door closed, he muttered under his breath, "And I know exactly how you're gonna make it up to me."
The drive to Bulma's house didn't take long. It wasn't far or anything, but it definitely didn't hurt having rich friends who could lend you their top-of-the-line hovercars.
He pulled up into the driveway and rang the doorbell. There was no noise for a while, until the gruff voice of Vegeta came to the door. He glanced up and down at the boy, before yelling over his shoulder. "Trunks, your brat friend is here!"
Goten rolled his eyes as he shook his head. Typical Vegeta. "I'm actually here for Bulma."
Vegeta scowled as if he was disgusted with the half-Saiyan's very existence. He probably was. "What do you want to talk to her about?"
"Geez, Dad. Can you cut Goten some slack?"
Vegeta glared at the son of Goku once more before stalking off, grumbling about half-breeds not living up to their potential. Goten rolled his eyes as he waved at Trunks who, in turn, waved in Goten.
"My mom's in the teleportation lab right now," informed Trunks, falling into step with Goten. "I'll bring you there."
Goten stopped abruptly. "Your mom's working on teleportation?"
Trunks sighed. "Yeah, I know. It's not exactly crazy or anything. It's a bit of a passion project."
Goten snorted at that. Only Bulma Briefs would work on teleportation as a passion project. "So. . . does it work?" His plan would be a lot simpler if he could just teleport to Namek. Unfortunately, Trunks squashed those hopes.
"Nah, the two times we used the thing were failures. We can't control where an object ends up. The first time we tried to teleport something it got sent to the sun by accident. Don't ask me how because I've got no clue either. The other time it just got sent to a world filled with people yelling ORA and MUDA at each other. It was weird."
Goten winced. He would definitely like to avoid becoming a deep-fried half-Saiyan or getting yelled by weirdos.
The two walked on in comfortable silence for a while, before Trunks broke it. "So, what did you want to see my mom for?"
Goten shrugged, hoping he looked nonchalant. "Nothing too big."
Trunks glanced at Goten, oddly, for a moment before opening the door to the lab. "Hey Mom! Goten's here to see you!"
The inventor's son turned back to his friend, still as curious as ever. "Seriously, dude, what's up?"
Goten rolled his eyes. "If I tell you, you have to agree to keep this as secret as possible. Gohan, Pan, and Videl especially can't know."
Trunks gave a mock salute with a roll of his eyes. "I won't tell a soul, Scouts' honor. Now what is it?"
Goten leaned in close. "I'm gonna go find those Para Para brothers you told me about and make them make Gohan, Videl, and Pan dance."
Trunks' lip quirked upwards, ever so slightly. "Is that all?"
"I'm also gonna get it on camera."
". . . You'll share the footage with me?"
"You know it, dude."
Trunks grinned and clapped him on the shoulder. "Good man!"
Goten's nose scrunched as the familiar stench of cigarette smoke began to waft into his nose. It was quite unfortunate Bulma took up that habit. It had to drive Vegeta and Trunks' Saiyan noses up a wall.
"No wonder Vegeta's so grumpy," Goten muttered.
Sure enough, Bulma appeared at the doorway with a cigarette held loosely between her fingers.
"Hey, Goten," drawled Bulma, oil stains decorating her lab coat. "What's up?"
"Could I borrow your spaceship?"
Bulma raised a brow. "Now why would you want a spaceship?"
Goten rubbed his arms with a slight grimace. Time to lie. "Uh, well I just wanted to go on an adventure. Like you and my Dad used to."
Bulma grinned as she took another drag of her cigarette. "Ah, you've got your father's spirit! So, where do you plan on going?"
The raven haired adult blinked in surprise. Where was he going again? "Oh yeah! I was planning on going to Namek."
Bulma gave him a knowing look. "The Dragon Balls?"
Goten rubbed his neck sheepishly. "Yeah. . ."
He knew it was a bit reckless to use the Dragon Balls after what happened with the Shadow Dragons and all, but he couldn't think of any other way to continue his plan. He could've used the Black Star Dragon Balls, but he was against the whole Earth blowing up thing. Plus, he wasn't exactly keen on gallavating through the cosmos.
"Alright," sighed Bulma. "Just don't go wishing for panties or something like that."
Goten beamed, hugging Bulma fiercely. "Thank you so much, Bulma. You won't regret this!"
Bulma lightly pushed him off, trying not to grin. "Yeah, yeah. Come on, I'll show you where the ship is."
The ship was just like Gohan had described to him all those years ago. It was a round, black and white sphere of metal with Capsule Corp emblazoned across the top. Inside, there was an assortment of buttons on the control panel. It still seemed like something was missing though.
"Does this thing have a muffin button?"
Bulma brows furrowed in confusion. "A What?"
Goten gestured, futilely at the control panel. It had sounded a lot smarter in his head. "Y'know. . . a muffin button for if somebody ever got hungry. It'd be pretty useful. Just push a button and boom! Muffin."
Bulma just sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Be sure to come back in one piece, Goten."
Goten rolled his eyes but nodded. "Don't worry, this shouldn't take too long."
"I'm serious, Goten. Space is an unpredictable place."
Goten crossed his arms. "Bulma. . ."
Bulma raised her hands in surrender. "Right, right, you should be on your way then."
Goten gave a smile as Bulma left the ship. The half-Saiyan gave a final wave as the ship took off into the sky.
Reaching Namek had been surprisingly easy. Well, it wasn't too surprising considering he had Bulma guiding him the whole way. He did have to double check when he saw a weird planet that looked similar to the Namek she described. Bulma had told him to avoid it like the plague, so he steered clear. Something about fake Namekians or whatever.
Once the ship down on Namek, he hopped out of it. He forewent a spacesuit, much to Bulma's chagrin. The way he saw it, if his dad hadn't needed one then there wasn't any point in him bringing one, either.
Unfortunately, he still came face to face with trouble. Three buff Namekians, who all looked strikingly like Piccolo, stood ready to fight him. They'd probably sensed him touching down, Goten dimly noted.
"Hey, guys!" said Goten, waving despite the warriors' intimidating glares. "I was wondering if you could, uh, take me to your leader?"
"Who are you?" asked a warrior, gruffly.
"I'm Goku's kid, Son Goten!"
They didn't change their glares in the slightest. OK, then. Different angle. "Uh, the guy who beat Frieza.. . ?"
Their demeanor changed immediately. "Ah! Why didn't you say so? What brings you here, Son of Goku?"
Goten's grin got all the wider. Things were going wonderfully. "I'd like to meet your chief, please."
It didn't take long before he reached a Namekian village. The town wasn't particularly big or anything, but it substituted size for a homey feel. There were little Namekians running around everywhere with their friends, and Namekian adults chatting with their neighbors. But among them, a leader stood out amongst the rest.
At least Goten thought he was the leader. He looked really old and probably wise, so it sorta fit his mental checklist.
Thankfully, one of the guards confirmed his theory. "This is our elder, Chief Moori."
He looked at Goten, curiously, before turning to one of the guards. "Who is this, Acha."
"He says his father is Son Goku," spoke Acha. "The defeater of Frieza!"
The Namekian blinked before a light bulb seemed to go off in his head. "Ah, yes! You are the one who fought valiantly alongside your father against the tyrant, Frieza!"
Goten sighed. "Uh, no. That was my brother."
"Oh." The Namekian cleared his throat. "Well, you want the Dragon Balls, correct?"
Goten nodded. It seemed most people only came here for the Dragon Balls. Figured. "Yes, please!"
"Alright, I'll send a message to have the Dragon Balls brought here, shortly."
Goten couldn't help but smile; everything was shaping up nicely. He couldn't wait to get Pan and the rest of them on video.
Hey. . .
The looks on their faces were going to be absolutely hilarious!
Pan was gonna pay for every single annoying prank she'd ever pulled on him.
Goten blinked. Was there somebody calling for him? 'Nah, I'm probably just hearing thin-'
"HEY, YOU IDIOT!
Goten snapped up; his head on a swivel. "King Kai?!"
"Yes! It's about time you noticed! What do you think you're doing?!"
Goten blinked, drawing a total blank. "Uh, what do you mean?"
"Why are using the Namekian Dragon Balls?!"
"I just need to find some guys, is all. There's no need to get so worked up King Ka-"
"No need to be worked up?! Do you even remember what happened with the Shadow Dragons?!"
Goten sighed. "It's just a couple of wishes. Besides, we haven't used these Dragon Balls nearly as much as we did the ones on Earth. It'll be fine, really."
There was a pause for a while. Well, King Kai seemed to be grumbling about being "just like Goku" and "cleaning up messes." But those were so low, Goten pretty much thought he imagined them.
"Alright, fine. Make your wish. Just make sure it's worth it!"
Goten grinned. "Oh, don't worry. It'll definitely be worth it."
King Kai grumbled a little more before cutting his telepathic connection. With almost perfect timing, the Elder entered the room. Behind him were Namekian warriors carrying the Dragon Balls.
"The Dragon Balls have been gathered, young Goten," spoke the Elder. "Be sure to tell me your wishes so that I may translate for you."
The warriors set the Balls on the ground as they pulsed silently. The chief stretched his hands toward the Balls. "Rise, Porunga!"
The Dragon Balls lit up with their blinding light. The sky began to cloud and darken across the planet as clouds rolled across it. Lightning flashed overhead when a stray bolt of electricity struck the Balls.
Porunga contorted out from the Balls in a familiar coil. Goten couldn't help but gape. He'd known Porunga was larger than Shénlóng, but he didn't know he was basically Shénlóng's buffer older brother.
"What are your wishes?" boomed Porunga.
Goten blinked. So, that was what Namekian sounded like. . .
"Did he just talk in cursive?" asked Goten.
The chief chuckled. "He asked for your wishes, young Goten."
"Uh, alright. Tell him to bring the Para Para brothers here."
The chief nodded and repeated order in Namekian.
Porunga's eyes glowed a powerful red. Suddenly, the air simmered and revealed the three, extremely confused, Para Para brothers.
"You're wish has been granted. What is your next wish?"
"What is your next wish?" parroted the chief.
"Alright, I'm gonna tell you my second and third wish in advance. For my second wish, I want you to bring us and my ship to Earth, and, for my third, I want you to send them back to the place I took them from once I'm finished. Did you get all of that?"
The chief blinked. "Uh. . . yes, I think so, but how will I know when you're done?"
Goten blinked. Good question. "Uh, I'll talk to King Kai?"
"Hell no! You're on your own."
Goten grimaced. So much for that. "OK, you can wish them back after 30 minutes. That's all I'll need anyways."
"But what if Porunga doesn't want to stay?"
"Then stall him," said Goten as he patted the chief on the back. "You've got this. I believe in you, Moori!"
The chief sighed as he told Porunga the second wish. Goten began to feel a tingling sensation as his world erupted in light.
Goten blinked as he looked about him. Good news: his ship and the Para Para Brothers were there.
Bad news: they were in the middle of the busiest part of West City. During rush hour.
Everyone seemed to stop what they were doing to stare at the group.
Goten groaned. His mom was going to kill him.
"What the. . ?"
Goten turned to see the Para Para Brothers, looking confusedly about themselves. He felt a twinge of sympathy for their situation.
Nonetheless, Goten leaped toward each one of them and chucked them into the ship at breakneck speeds. They slammed into each other in a dazed and messy pile.
Yeah, all in all, not exactly his proudest moment.
"Hey! What are you-"
"So sorry about this but hold on tight!"
Goten shut the door and picked up the ship with a slight grunt. An aura blazed to life around the demi-Saiyan as he shot off into the sky.
Before long, Goten and the Para Para Brothers had landed at the Briefs' residence. She hadn't been too happy with his newly acquired crew.
"Goten, why are there a bunch of aliens in my ship?"
Goten laughed, sheepishly. "Well, uh, it's a long story. . ."
Everyone turned to see Trunks stroll into the room. Goten breathed a small thanks to whichever Kai allowed for this distraction.
"Trunks?!" asked the Para Para Brothers. "You know these guys?"
"Yeah, this is my mom, Bulma, and my friend, Goten. Mom, these are the Para Para Brothers."
"Hello," said Bulma as she waved. "But why are they here again?"
"Hi," Goten said, nervously. "I'm so sorry for kidnapping you guys, but I think you'll find some enjoyment out of this."
A devious grin inched along the half-Saiyan's face. "I'm glad you asked."
"We came as fast as we could," rambled Gohan. "So, what's up? You said there was something important, right?"
Goten grinned widely. "Yeah, I gotta show you all something. It's gonna be life-changing, I swear!"
Pan watched Goten, apprehension written all over face. He didn't know how she knew, but it was easy to see she felt something was up. Goten could feel himself begin to inwardly sweat. She could ruin everything. He couldn't allow it.
"Dad, I don't think we should-"
"What, Pan?" blurted Goten. "You being a scardey-cat?"
Pan huffed and crossed her arms. "As if!"
"Good. Now let's go."
Goten walked down the corridor to the room the Brothers lay in wait. He couldn't help the mischievous grin that began etch itself along his features despite his best efforts.
When they finally reached the room, the door opened with a metallic hiss.
Pan's eyed widened in surprise as she caught sight of his new friends. "The Para Para Brothers?!"
Goten sighed, acting put-off. "Yeah, they came to visit. They were adamant on greeting you in person. I wanted to tell them you all were busy, but they were persistent."
"Yeah," squeaked a brother. "We wanted to have a dance party!"
Gohan sweatdropped. "Uh, sorry we don't dance."
"Nonsense!" Bon Para declared. "Everybody dances! You've just gotta get into the mood!"
Bon Para lifted a boombox onto his shoulder and flicked the start button.
"Dad," started Pan, inching her way towards the door. "We've got to go."
Gohan and Videl seemed to pick up on the edge in her voice. The two glanced at each other and nodded. "Goten, we'll have to talk later, something came up."
"C'mon guys! The fun's just getting started! Now move those hips!" sang Bon Para, moving his hips to the beat.
Gohan, Videl, and Pan yelped as their bodies performed the action.
"Alright," cried Bon Para. "Now you're moving! Now, let's see you wave those arms."
The trio struggled as they were helpless to perform the action, swaying in time with their hips.
"Just what is this?!" asked Gohan.
"I'm gonna kill him," snarled Pan as she spun into a twirl. "He is going to regret this, I swear!"
"How do we stop them?" asked Videl, waving her hands in the air.
"You can't!" groaned Pan. "Not until they stop."
"You've got that right!" cheered Don Para. "Now, take to the left!"
"Take it to the right!" continued Son Para.
"Take it down low!" cried Bob Para.
"And bring it back up high!" they cheered collectively. Gohan, Videl, and Pan followed the actions to the letter.
"When I get my hands on him, I swear!" cursed Pan.
"C'mon guys," poured Son Para. "Don't be mad! Dancing's no fun that way!"
"Go. To. Hell!" Videl shouted.
"Alright, alright, let's make this interesting!" Bon Para grinned from ear to ear. "Your friend Goten asked for a special number! Here we go! Everybody Macarena!"
The controlled trio collectively groaned.
Goten, Trunks, and Bulma grinned in the safe sound proof room. He was more than a bit thankful for the cotton he'd shoved in his ears before he'd entered the room. Otherwise, he'd have been dancing right alongside them.
"Do you think they're gonna kill you after this?" teased Trunks, checking the camera for the millionth time.
Goten snorted as he popped open a can of Hetap. "Dude, I know they're gonna kill us after this. Still worth it, though."
Bulma and Trunks stared at Goten before scoffing. "What do you mean us?!"
A/N: Again so sorry this took so long. I just got really, really lazy. I hope you liked it cuz it was really fun to write XD