"was it worth it?"

"he asks himself in his first day at the academy, he was here, the queen had kept her promise he was in a new world away from the past and what a world it was he was a time lord now, he still could not believe it. his mind had expanded beyond anything he could ever be, his old life was so tiny compared to this the secrets of the universe his..family were more distant than the old one but almost everyone here was distant, and he was also more distant now..he supposed, but yes it was worth new life sure was, now time to install himself he had much to learn."

"was it worth it?"

"he thinks to himself as Susan was showing Barbara and Chatterton around the TARDIS, hmmm? he had not thought about...that in years, but now he again leaves another home different circumstances of course, and not alone he has her dear granddaughter with him ow how he loves her so smart and so intelligent full of potential she reminds him of her; they were very much alike in some ways, no time to think about that now, he had found his truth out there in the stars, back there he had nothing but duty so yes it was worth it, now time to check where the old ship had landed him."

"was it worth it?"

"he has been thinking that ever since their return from the land of fiction..that place had reminded him too much of "the pace he had escaped from" he wondered if maybe his connection to that place had influenced the master of the land of fiction to chose him, could it be? questions for another day he supposed, the important question was once again, was it worth it? yes of course it was! nobody else could do what he was doing especially nobody from back there, now he had enough remembering for while better to let the memories back to sleep he has too much to see to stop to ask those questions

"was it worth it?

"he thinks in one of the silent nights in his lab, that question lingered even now in his exile on earth, was this how they felt trapped in exile from home or maybe they did not think about their sad fate, he hopes they don't, this feeling of being trapped, he would not wish it upon anyone; especially her...he has not the time to ponder on this so he goes back to fixing the TARDIS, one of the few comforts he has but he soon will be free, he can feel it, "but they won't" he extinguishes that thought as soon as it appears

"was it worth it?

"he thinks as he puts another jelly baby in his mouth, well for him it was at least back there...he had only his "duty", only able to act as himself during those hours in the garden..with..her, oh how he loved those times some of the few happy memories he had from back there, the times he was allowed to act childish, he had traveled far and wide and still those were the most beautiful garden he had ever seen, but who knows? he had a lot to see yet, as he puts another jelly baby in his mouth, he goes to look for Romana.

"was it worth it?"

"know that he sees Adric wanting to go home, the question just appear in his mind, also he wonders why?, he remembers his world, he grew so bored with the lifestyle everyone there was so different, so small-minded compare to what he knew now, they never questioned anything beyond magic it was all that there was there, and he had the whole of n-space to play with, and now Adric trying to go back to e-space it reminds him too much of back home in the forest what could he...what could Adric achieve going back there? no, it was...too dangerous for Adric, yes Adric, to go back home and he would not help him with that madness.

"was it worth it?/p

"was it worth it?, WAS IT WORTH IT?!

of course, it was, his choices always were, especially in this regeneration even if he says it himself, he had done it so he could be free and he was now free to explore the universe and fight the evil within it, he was doing fun and important things and it was worth it...even if he could never see her again, not the time for that; where is peri? they had worlds to visit he would take her to...

"was it worth it?"

"he thinks while clutching his favorite umbrella, that first gamble he did with the queen, so long ago a simple one compared to the ones he had done after, he gave her complete control over the board in exchange for freedom a simple deal he had to stick with and he knows it has been worth it without him as time's champion the universe would have descended to chaos long ago, but he had a choice, what choice were others given? none that's what. and he also knows that the larger the choice the bigger the consequences and even now he is waiting for the inevitable consequences for his deal with the queen for he knows that one day they'll come, but was it worth t? only time will as it always does, but he had no time to think about that now, he had evil empires to topple and three evil extradimensional gods to vanquish before tea time.

"was it worth it?"

"he thinks from his favorite chair in the console room, what he did so long ago before he was the doctor when he was a lonely kid dreaming with the stars, he always came back to that question; was it worth it? recently he had lost his memories again/why can't he just forget that he always had to be burden with his own past, no time for that he decided there were places to be"

"was it worth it?"

"that question used to be so simple, it used to be about a deal and treason, but know he asks himself that about many things, he was not the doctor anymore, but he was that little kid once so the question always comes back, would any of this had happened if not for him?. would the time lords just have sent someone else to Skaro, someone who would have destroyed the Daleks, if the doctor had not been there, what would she say if she saw him like this? how he was now, he had destroyed another solar system today the Daleks were using to create a bomb; that would have created ripples through the vortex he could not allow that but...would she see it like that?..no he had no time to think about a distant past, not anymore another planet had just had its history rewritten that means that a battle is going on and he is a warrior now that's where he belongs."

"was it worth it?"

"no, it could not have been. he had done it again destroyed his family and home what kind of person could think that was worth it, was this who he was? someone who destroyed the world and homes? maybe he thinks,2 homes gone, and planets too many to count. if she could see him, she would hate him, she may be already doing it and who could blame her he does deserve it he is just a coward the things he has done have no justification..but he can't change it not know they are all gone now; he truly is alone and he deserves it"

"was it worth it?"

"as he prepared for the regeneration he did...the most unusual thing...he visited everyone he ever knew and..that lead to a bit of research and a name...storybrooke...she wasn't that brilliant that queen wasn't she? but the temptation quickly evaporated, he didn't deserve it. he should leave with his guilt."

"was it worth it?

"well, he supposed it was, he met a girl amy pond...like a name in a fairy tale...like her name..no must not think about that...but now he knew the where an...no must not think about absolutely not...he has so many things worrying..like his death Apparently...which is inescapable...the doctor was supposed to be there...stronger someone who looks like him..he had an idea! and it was good!"

"was it worth it?

"as he sat in his office looking at the pair of pictures..." oh shut hp up you two!" he suddenly yelled at the pair of silent smiles that he could see "it's not like you ever knew"..." is not as I had told you..." so that just left is it worth if you are ashamed of it?...

"was it worth it?

"does it matter anymore...was it even real..or more lies implanted in her...his...her...their brains by some shady cabal of secrets...no couldn't be she remember the town...the energies it gave off...unless it was an asymmetrical pot on unreal magnifiers in a constant state of flux left to distract her...but no..she could feel it...magic...so why could she remember that but no the other?..cause it could fit her mind articulated...yes oh clever and lazy...the two quintessential timelord characteristics...so now what..everything just became more...did it even matter? it was now a much smaller part of their life..or it matters more than ever?...decision made...she pulled the leaver and spun the hourglass."