By: Kamagong Thunderspank
Disclaimers: None of them are mine…. Buffy to WB and Paramount, and the surprise x-over belongs to their rightful owners.
Xander stared despondently as the last toy rifle was being carted away by an overly rambunctious eight-year old towards the counter. The young man sighed at the loss of a possible cheap costume until his eyes caught sight of a pocket protector and remembered watching a strange video the night before about some guy doing funny as hell retro game reviews.
Snatching up the pocket protector and some fake glasses, he dashed up to the counter and rang up his purchase. When the owner asked if that was all; he simply replied that he had the rest of the costume at home.
Besides, Xander mused, it's not like Tony will miss one of the shirts he'll never get to wear missing for the night.
After the spell ended, the first thing Xander said when he came to was: "AAAASSSSSSS!"
Of course, he was unfortunately looking at Buffy's behind when he said that.
"No weapon forged by man huh?" Xander said as he stood over a pile of broken masonry as he looked over at the Judge. The big blue fuckbag managed to dodge the damned one-shot rocket launcher Giles had helped him steal for Buffy. Out of ammo, and out of damned time, Xander decided to release the power he'd kept within.
"Well I've got something for you, you motherfucking piece of dog turd!" The younger, bespectacled Scooby shouted as he stood in righteous indignation towards the source of his ire.
"No weapon forged by man can defeat me." The Judge repeated his earlier statement as he was again flanked by Angelus, Spike, Drusilla, and their goons.
"Who said anything about it being forged, you sorry excuse of demonic horseshit?" Xander retorted as random retro video game accessories suddenly appeared on his body, creating some sort of bizarre armor. "I've got some F-bombs here for you; special delivery!"
To everyone's shock, every foul invective hurled toward The Judge caused an explosion of unimaginable proportion as each profane word laid waste to Angelus and company, and then blew the Judge to smithereens.
…And half the mall with it.
A/N: This is a one-shot crack fic, not sure if I have the stones to expand on it - but y'all are welcome to try. Just please kindly give some acknowledgement to this little ditty if you do.