Death's Prank

AN: as I said, ONE character from any one series. The only exceptions MIGHT be from Tales series... since they are completely independent from each other except in direct sequels. Oh and let me say this right now... I am NOT adding a single servant. If I add anyone from the Fate franchise, it will be as themselves, and not a demi-servant, or servant. AKA, Rin would be Rin the human Magus, Not say, Ishtar merged with her.

More than likely if i add anybody, it would be as family pet... hint...

I'm willing to take suggestions, but the final choice will be mine and must conform to the rules stated above, and in the last chapter.

AN2: there will probably be only one or two more added.

Chapter 2: I called the law, and the law won.

Death was chuckling. He had just added something to Harry that he was inspired to do from an anime he watched.

He added a fangirl allergy and the Negi strip sneeze.

He was Death with as much mercy as that implies, but it hates fangirls as well.

Shaking Its head it looked on to see what else to add, or who.

It then noticed that it was a year before the Hogwarts letter storm.


Three years had passed since Harry's new friend had been sent to him and he was much happier. He didn't even notice that her presence scared off anyone that might have been brave enough to brave Dudley's wrath.

She hadn't been trying to do so, but she is... intense... to those that looked like they were going to get between her and her Harry.

Now she was in the police station, because the police chief's son, who was part of Dudley's gang, had accused Harry of the vandalism that they had themselves caused, and refused to listen to the fact that they had an iron-clad alibi.

They had been in a public park at the time surrounded by over a dozen other people. That wasn't even counting the fact that outside of their house, or in a gender-specific situation, they were rarely more than twenty feet apart. Inside their house, they were just as close of course most of the time.

Ciel was late because she was making a phone call. It wasn't that she didn't care about her charges but that she was calling a station from another district. The chief had moved very fast to arrest Harry, within hours of being told in fact, adding in who his drinking buddy was, and his brother, Ciel was approaching another Chief to get a neutral party investigating.

She had a nasty smile on her face as she hung up. This was good, this was very good.

Snagging up her keys she went to her car, and to the police station.

The other police chief had been very understanding, especially once he had looked at the records for her local department.

Arriving at the station she waited for a cruiser with the other officers to arrive as she was instructed, and they shadowed her within earshot, but out of sight of the front desk as she went to the front desk and said, "I'm here for my son, Harry."

The receptionist looked at the young woman and replied, "Sorry ma'am but the police Chief has ordered that nobody is allowed to see him while he's being questioned."

Ciel's eyes narrowed as she asked, "So a ten-year-old child is being interrogated like a hardened criminal... without a guardian?"

"I have my orders ma'am, please don't cause a scene," the receptionist said coldly, as he was a believer in how the chief claimed that the boy acted, as well in how much damage the boy caused, as well as reports of theft by the boy.

"Oh really, and by what legal reason does your chief have to deny a parent to be present during their child's interrogation?" one of the two officers present as backup asked as he pulled out an ID. "Agent Williams Internal affairs. We are here to conduct a full inspection of this station... this is strike one for you and the chief, and possibly for the rest of you, now lead all three of us to where the child is being held."

The receptionist gulped, then looked at the nasty smirk of the woman and internally cursed. He knew that all the Ts weren't crossed, and all the Is weren't dotted in the forms, and most of the forms were filed incomplete or missing.

Not to mention they were themselves breaking the law by keeping a parent from her child.

He nodded and stood up, leading them to an interrogation room, not noticing the little girl following as well.

After they reached the soundproof room, an investigator pulled out a can of WD-40 and oiled the hinges of the door. He had found out, after a particularly serious investigation, that silently opening doors can net more evidence than opening a noisy door.

As he opened the door he heard a man shouting, "Listen here you little shit, admit your crimes and sign the confession, or I'll have you locked in prison for the rest of your life!"

That was enough evidence for the man. Trying to intimidate a child like that, with no other adult present. That was a blatantly illegal action.

"That is enough!" the angry investigator bellowed as he pushed open the door all the way.

"Who are you? I gave orders that nobody was to be allowed to see him until I say so!"

"Internal affairs, you are hereby suspended of duty until our investigation is complete. Although from what I have seen, it won't take long."

The police chief, a fat man who looked like he never went through the academy, purpled. He then blustered a reply, "I'm in the middle of..."

"Intimidating a child to sign a confession that wouldn't hold up in court? In an Illegal interrogation, I might add. Other crimes will be pending. I also found some... interesting evidence about the child that made the accusations. Now leave the station, my coworkers will be along soon. My partner will accompany you to make sure you don't destroy any evidence."

The fat man quivered in rage, and snapped back as he left the room, "My father and our friends will see about that, you will never be able to work in this country again!"

"Sorry about that ma'am. Please take your son home, we will send an officer from a different precinct to take your statements later," the investigator said calmly, not disturbed by the threat. Taking a look around as the girl, who he just noticed, and the other two left, he smirked. On the table was a tape recorder, one that was recording the entire event. He picked it up and stopped it from recording further... he just loves when corrupt idiots hang themselves. The fact that it has the entire interrogation, as well as the threats, makes things simple.

Picking up the 'confession' he took a pair of evidence bags out of his pockets along with a sharpie and bagged them for evidence, then he took a tape recorder out of his pocket and started recording his thoughts and initial impressions. As he took off to the records room to cross-reference the crimes in the 'confession' with the crimes recorded.


Investigator #2 was laughing his head off. Three minutes searching the office, and he had enough evidence to make several arrests, as well as fire half the bloody department.

And it's only been twenty minutes.


The police chief, after he made it to his home, called his father first thing, and complained that he was being unfairly targeted for doing his job and that he could lose his position. He described how he almost had a criminal signing a confession, but he was interrupted. He also neglected to say that it was a ten-year-old he was intimidating, alone, or that the crimes that he was trying to get the boy to sign off on only were witnessed by a group that was 'mistakenly' thought to be troublemakers.

After that call, he called his brother.

"Vernon, I've been suspended by some investigators, they are going to undo all my good work, can you help? Hmmm... I see... thanks goodbye.

The man smirked. He had friends in high places, a lot of them. He would weather this storm, it's not like then have a record...

his eyes widened as he remembered that he had a recorder going, and it had been left on the table.

He just hoped that the investigators were incompetent.


Ciel smiled as she drove home with the children. Beyond this little... hiccup, life was going rather good. She had submitted her research on Ciel energy and was waiting for it to be published. Most of it was from memory, and the rest was from her working from what she could remember to recreate the algorithms.

Unfortunately, the computers she had available were nowhere near powerful enough to run the power plant efficiently. Enough computers at once could do so, but it would need a few rooms worth. (EN)

It simply would be more practical to wait until they didn't need so many.

Shaking her head she looked at the two children in the back seat trough the mirror. She loved Harry as her own but would admit that Roon scared the daylights out of her at times with her devotion to the boy. It seemed like the girl would slaughter the entire neighborhood... or beyond, to protect him... or if she thought it would make Harry happy.

Shaking her head she recalled Roon's first day in Harry's school... and when everybody and their ancestors found out that the peach haired girl wasn't to be trifled with.



"Everybody," the teacher of Harry's homeroom started. "This is Roon Ironblood, she'll be joining us as of today."

Roon moved to the front of the room, and looked at them with a smile... a smile almost everyone could tell was fake, not because she was faking it... intentionally, but because it was her default expression.

She had told Ciel about her origins the day she arrived, and Ciel was horrified.

She was vat-grown with an enhanced body, and educated, both for the express purpose of war, and it was done without Bismark's knowledge. (EN2)

She was later found fully grown and combat-ready by the Commander, who asked her what she wanted, although given what she knew, the choice was obvious.

She entered his command, and for a few short weeks, she lead his vanguard into battle, until...


She had chosen to stay behind, along with a few others, to buy her fleet with the commander time to escape when a traitor sabotaged the base's defenses. She fell minutes after the order to withdraw was given.

She was technically only a few weeks old when she had died, and she had a secret that she had never told the commander. She had been left behind by her creator as a failure due to her lifespan outside the tube she was created in.

She had less than six months to live once released.

She shook her head to clear it from the memories and took her seat in one of the empty ones near Harry.

The classes were actually new to her, as ninety percent of the implanted knowledge was battle tactics, and the rest was the ability to communicate, geography, and field maintenance.

Which was one of two reasons Ciel wanted to send her there instead of homeschooling.

The other was to try and socialize her.

Soon enough it was lunchtime, with the teachers being kind enough to not call on her, as the story Ciel had put in place was that she was rescued from people who were trying to turn her into a child soldier, and didn't teach her anything unnecessary for that goal.

The information also served to act as a subtle warning that she might react a tad more violently than others if she were to be attacked.

This was unknown to Dudley and his gang as they had seen the new cute and creepy girl sitting next to the boy he had led his gang to, for his own amusement, isolating from his peers. He felt justified in doing so, due to how his parents always called him a no-good child and freak.

So, to protect his perfect record of scaring anyone that might befriend the smaller boy off, he approached the girl and said, "For your own good, you should leave him alone."

Roon looked at the large boy, and his gang and the combat programming kicked in, and she analyzed his combat potential versus her own diminished state.

She promptly ignored him as inconsequential. The enhancements gave her unnatural toughness and strength even in her younger body. If it weren't for the fact that she would cause Harry, and to a lesser extent Ciel, trouble, she would have simply snapped his neck and hid the body.

"I said, to get away from him," the boy snarled.

At this point, Harry was getting nervous for his new friend, and he had taken after his mother of six years and was more of an intellectual than a fighter.

At being ignored a second time, Dudley swung his fist in a haymaker, only for it to be stopped cold by the hand of the much smaller girl, much to Harry's awe.

"Leave us alone," she stated in a monotone voice as her hand clamped down hard on the bigger boy's hand, and looked him straight in the eyes, which caused him to try and pull away from her.

She then pushed the hand away, which combined with his pulling, sent him tumbling to the ground.

This was, unknown to the group, witnessed by a teacher that was secretly sympathetic to Harry, so she revealed herself and asked, What's going on here?"

One of Dudley's gang was about to speak up to accuse the girl of attacking Dudley, but he was quieted by an elbow from the now standing fat boy. He had seen the look in the brown-eyed girl's eyes and wanted no part of her. He also knew no teacher would accept that someone sitting down would have attacked another, even if he halfway suspected she had seen the whole thing.

She was also one of the only teachers who had ever tried to punish him, and so he showed that he had a modicum of intelligence, and backed his gang off.


End flashback.

Shaking her head from the memories of what she had been told happened that day, she smiled as she pulled into her driveway.

"Go get cleaned up for dinner," she said and watched as the two ran off. She was glad that her cooking skills had improved beyond what they were before she arrived. She had once tried to cook hamburger once, and somehow the outside was perfect, the next third of the burger was frozen solid, and the center was burnt to charcoal.

Frowning as the children went to get cleaned up, she hoped that no other serious issues would come up.


End chapter: just a bit of a slice of life, and showing that they still have trouble with the locals.

EN: look at the difference in computing power and storage even twenty-five years ago. My current laptop could fit the 1995 average computer in it by storage over 1000x and the processing power by over 90x, and still rattle. What would two centuries more do?

EN2: In Azure Lane, some events showed that Bismark might not be the friendliest person in existence, but she cared about her subordinates.