1x3 I Almost Drowned in a Chocolate Fountain

A/N: Some creative liberties have been taken with plot and episode details. I do not own WOWP or the characters.

Alex was gonna get it. He would finally get his payback.

Outside of his family he was a pretty calm and collected kind of guy, and to his core he was a rule-follower. In any other situation he would never have dreamed of smuggling a magical pocket elf into the human world, risking magical exposure, and he never, never, would have given said pocket elf forbidden chocolate, sure to induce public chaos and mayhem (that was Alex's job).

But Alex brought out the rebel in him, she threw rules and rational thought out the window. After going six rounds to Sunday against her, he loved the huff of outrage, the pout and feet stomping she did when she knew she'd been bested (it was especially enjoyable because it happened so rarely. Alex brought out the deviousness in Justin, but it flowed through every inch of Alex.)

Justin and Max slipped quietly into the restaurant, and crouched in a hiding spot by the bar. Justin watched across the room as his little sister flirted with a floppy-haired, blank-faced pretty boy. She was giggling up at him, tossing back her hair, playfully punching him in the arm.

Their conversation came across the room.

"I'm not sure if I should get the chrome fender" pretty boy was saying "but hey it couldn't hurt right?"

Alex giggled and her arm against his, eyes looking adoringly up at him.

Justin rolled his eyes. What the hell could Alex possibly see in this guy. He probably couldn't even spell 'Drivers Permit', lord only knows how he passed his test.

Max stood next to him, pulling his arm. "Come on Justin, it's now or never. Are we doing this or not?"

"Oh, we're doing this" said Justin with a determined nod. Let's see how the "date" with pretty boy goes now, Alex.

At first it was hilarious. Alex ran around the table, using her spoon to take a scoop out of everyone's Chocolate Decadence dessert. Pretty boy, not the sharpest tool in the shed, was still yammering on about wheels and fenders, confused about what Alex was doing. Justin had to hand it to her, Alex was still pretty engaged with her "date", asking him about car colors as she shoveled scoops of chocolate ice cream into her mouth.

And then she face planted into an anniversary cake.

And then she smooshed an entire chocolate ganache into her mouth.

And then she ran for the chocolate fountain. Justin stepped forward, about to run and stop her, when Max tackled him to the ground. "Are you nuts? This is what we wanted! This is awesome!" Max exclaimed.

Justin watched with horror, regret chilling him to the bone as his little sister dumped an entire chocolate bowl on herself, and then rolled around on the chocolate-covered floor, a manic look in her crazed eyes.

This is not what he wanted. His sister could be a brat, a huge brat. She was annoying and petulant, she always got him in trouble and had absolutely no sense of boundaries or personal property but….she was still his little sister. All that stuff was what made Alex Alex. He had just wanted to get back at her, but this had gone too far.

Justin realized that while the girls in her dinner party were looking on at Alex's display in horror, some of the guys had started grinning and smirking at each other. He swear he heard one guy say something about "...jello wrestling but with chocolate". Anger flooded his veins and he pushed Max off of him.

"Call Mom and Dad" he yelled to Max without looking back as his strode possessively towards the squirming chocolate-covered girl on the floor.

"Alex, that's enough" he said quietly, shielding her with his body from the leering looks of the boys at the table. Alex barely heard him, and started licking the floor and her fingers just going "yummy yummy chocolate, yummy yummy chocolate"

Justin sighed and took off his favorite button down (why was she always always ruining his stuff) and carefully draped it over her chocolate-covered shoulders. She looked like a child enamored with her favorite toy as she licked chocolate off her fingers. Smiling as he thought back to years ago, he knew exactly what to do.

"Hey Alex" he said in a quiet, excited voice. "Guess what I've got? More chocolate!"

Her big eyes flashed up at him, looking like a kid who was just promised a puppy. "More chocolate?! Where?!" Alex asked as she looked around wildly.

"It's outside," Justin said "but it's hidden. I have to take you there so we can go find it"

"Okay Justin" Alex said with a smile, holding out her hand for his. Justin gently picked her up off the floor, took out his wallet and threw a few twenties on the table, then wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her away from the stares and leers, out the doors of the restaurant. Please let Mom and Dad be there please oh please oh please. He wasn't sure how long he could keep Alex hunting for the "chocolate".

Thankfully, Jerry and Theresa were just pulling up outside the restaurant as he and Alex walked out the doors, followed by a glum-faced Max. Justin quickly explained what had happened (leaving out details about exactly how a magical pocket elf had ended up in a Midtown Manhattan restaurant), and his father gave him the spell to undo the effects (With the power of magical might / Heal this wizard from an elf's bite).

They all got in the car to go home. In the back seat, Alex lamented with horror to Theresa all the embarrassing things she had done in front of pretty boy, moaning that he would never call her back after tonight. Max helpfully filled in all the details Alex forgot, provoking more groans from Alex.

In the front, Jerry drove in silence next to Justin. "How did you get her away from the chocolate?" Jerry finally asked quietly. "Elf bites are pretty powerful, and it sounds like there was a lot of chocolate in that room tonight."

Justin was silent for a moment before he spoke. "She loves games. Always has. When we were little she followed me around everywhere, always getting into stuff, coming up with adventures. I pretended we were 4 again, and turned it into a game. She had to come with me to find the secret chocolate."

Jerry laughed softly. "That's really good Justin, very quick thinking. God I remember when you two ruined a month of inventory when you turned the sub shop freezer into your Arctic Expedition and tried to search for hidden gold among the deli meats." Justin smiled, remembering that particular adventure.

Jerry's voice turned serious again. "We'll get the whole story at home but whatever it is, I'm glad you were there tonight Justin. Things could have gone a lot worse if you're weren't there to take care of her. You're a good big brother."

Justin's heart sank and guilt filled him.

He was her big brother, he was supposed to protect her. Big brothers don't sic a chocolate-crazed pocket elf on their little sister, don't turn them into a manic crazy girl in a crowded New York City restaurant.

Definitely don't let their sisters humiliate themselves in front of predatory guys. She had no idea what she was doing, Dad was right what else would she have done if he hadn't stopped her, Jesus all the awful scenarios played out in his head…..and then he thought of how the night had ended, how even not in her right state of mind, with no sense of her actions, she instantly trusted him and reached for his hand.

Despite all the tricks and the pranks and the fights and the battles, at the end of the day Alex would always trust him, would always love him. He was always her big brother. That thought, more than anything, calmed his racing heart as they silently drove home.