There's this cliche of women freaking out over their wedding day. They want everything to be perfect. They want it to be a magical day. From my experience, there's some truth to this, but it doesn't hold true for me. I don't care if it's a perfect day. I don't care if I don't get my fairy tale wedding. I'm just glad it's happening. I've been struggling to find the right guy lately. It doesn't help that I live in LA, the land of fakes. Sometimes you'll find someone who seems perfect. Then it turns out they've got a secret double life going on. I was about to give up when I met him. Polite. Sophisticated. Sensitive. I kept waiting to find out that he was a serial killer or he had a secret family, but that never happened. Well, he had a family, but he was upfront about it. Two children from a previous marriage. His boy is just so sweet and adorable. He's a bit shy, but so nice. Then there's his sister, Jade.

Honest to god, I tried my best to be polite to her. I understood she'd never see me as a new mom. I didn't try to force himself where I didn't belong. I didn't comment on how she dressed or that she seemed to be seeing so many boys. If she wants to be a whore, I'm not going to stop her. Yet, despite how nice I was to her, Jade only wanted to shove me away. Her father once asked her why she didn't seem to want to stay at his house. She told him she would stay more often if I wasn't around. That girl is evil. Where ever she is, I feel sorry for those around her. There's no other way to describe it. I swear, she tried to poison my dog. Her father defended her, saying Jadie would never do something like that, but I saw it with my own eyes. I just can't imagine us living happily ever after with her around. That's why I decided to remove her from the picture.

I'll admit I'm a true crime junkie. I've seen every serial killer documentary, read every true crime magazine, followed every investigation. I'd say I have an above average knowledge of forensics and police procedures. I can safely say I could plot the perfect crime. See, the trick is to create a more plausible alternative. There's this term "Occam's razor". Basically, it means the simplest explanation is the most likely one. If someone's got a bloody knife in their car, a dead body in the trunk, and their clothes are covered in guts, they probably did it. That's why when a wife is killed, the husband usually the first suspect. He has access to her and probably has a motive. The same logic can be applied to a boyfriend. Now little Jadie doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment, but she had one. The two broke up a few months ago. I honestly can't see how she managed to land someone as handsome as him in the first place, but it's nice to see he came to his senses. I think that makes the story much juicer. A jealous ex who can't move on. One day he snaps and kills her. It's just so perfect.

I of course have to first isolate Jade and then create an alibi for myself. The problem with this is that goddamn phone. It seems like these days we're just giving kids phones once they exit the womb. All it takes is for Jade to text a friend or post something to social media and I'm done for. "My bitch stepmom is driving me to the middle of the desert. Hope she doesn't murder me. lol."

Creating a fake alibi is easy. My beau's birthday was coming up and I can lie and say I was just buying him a present. It's not a perfect alibi, but it takes the suspicion off of me. The trick is to make sure they never find the body. If they can't find the body, they can't establish a time of death. She just disappeared sometime in the afternoon one Friday. I know I'm making it sound easy, but I really put in a lot of work. I looked at maps to find places in the desert that would be isolated. I came up with places I could hide weapons in my car. I found excuses to get my beau and his son out of the house that day. It wasn't that hard in the case of the former. He had business meetings that day and would be in the office late into the night. He's such a hard worker. He really deserves a day off. In the case of his son it was a bit harder, but not difficult. I have a friend with a son of her own. I managed to arrange a playdate between the two boys. With that taken care of, the only people in the house would be me and Jade.

So, the big day comes. It's just me and Jade. There's a knife under the driver's seat of my car. I stole Jade's phone from her purse while she was filing her nails. Her reaction was amusing. She was practically apoplectic, desperately searching her room for the dammed thing. I couldn't help but smile as she looked under her bed for it. I approached her room cooly. "Jadie?"

Jade looked up and glared at me. "What?"

"You're father's birthday is coming up," I said. "Do you have any ideas of what you want to get him?"

"I have some ideas," said Jade, who went back to looking under her bed.

"Well I was thinking of getting him a watch," I said.

"I'm sure he'll love it," said Jade.

I smiled. "I was just about to get it. I was wondering if you'd mind joining me?"

"Why would you think I'd want to join you?" said Jade.

"I don't know," I said. "I was thinking you might not want to be alone in this house. I'd let you put your name on the card."

"Sure, I'll come with you," said Jade. "There's nothing I can do here."

"Good." The thing about Jade is she loves to make people miserable. As much as she claims she can't stand my presence, she'd prefer it if I were around just so she could torment me. Sure enough, as soon as we hit the road, she begins complaining. Everything is just awful in her opinion. My car is the worst. The model is out of date. The design is lame. The paint job is an eyesore. All of the radio stations are terrible. I swear, she finds a way to complain about the color of the sky. Nothing is good enough for her. I was honestly thinking of ending her right there, but I've got to be patient. I have to wait until we're deep in the desert. It doesn't take too long to get to the location. There's a dirt road that leads off the highway. I turn on it.

"What are you doing?" said Jade.

"Oh, I'm just taking a short cut," I say.

"Good," said Jade. "It's taking forever to get there."

I slam the break and a cloud of dust gets kicked up to the stopping of the car. "Get out."

"What?" said Jade, a confused look on her face.

"Get out," I say. "You've been nothing but rude to me this whole trip. I will not have it. I might come back for you in an hour, but until then I want you to think about how you treat people."

"Okay." Jade unbuckles her seat belt and exits the car. It's clear she doesn't believe I'm going to leave her in the desert. She slams the door and stands with her arms crossed as she watches me drive away. I look at her in the rearview mirror. I stop and turn around. I can see Jade smirking. She thinks she won. I get out of the car and walk towards her. Jade's smirk grows. "See, I knew you weren't going to leave me here. For a threat to be effective you've got to have-Jesus Christ what are you doing?"

By now she's seen the knife I'm carrying. She's about to sprint off into the desert, but it's too late. I plunge the knife between her ribs. I can't describe how satisfying it is to penetrate this bitch. Her cries echo across the desert, but no ones there to hear her. Jade fights back. She grabs my arms and scratches me. Her nails tear into me and draw blood. I almost dropped the knife, but I hold on and stab her again. And again. And again. I lost track of how many times I stabbed her. I know that by about the fifth stab, Jade starts coughing up blood. I keep stabbing her even after her body went limp and lifeless. I know at some point blood stops gushing out of her. I decided to stop stabbing her when the flies started landing on her. Now comes the business of covering up my deed.

I brought a shovel with me and started digging once the fun was over. It's hard work, what with the sun beating down on me, but I have to do it. Fortunately the sun is going down, so I avoid the worst of its rays. I manage to finish her grave pretty quickly. I roll Jade's body into it and bury her. I take a moment to admire my handiwork. Jade looks terrified. The smug expression that I've grown to hate is gone. Now it's one of pure horror. That nasty smile is gone. Her mouth is wide open, blood oozing out of the corners. I begin tossing dirt on that bitch. Soon Jade is gone, rotting under six feet of dirt. The last thing I do is take a dead squirrel from the back of my car and bury it above Jade. This is to throw off the search dogs. See, if the cops get there and start digging up Jade's grave, they'll get to the dead squirrel before they find Jade. They'll assume the dogs were just confused by the smell of the dead squirrel and move on.

I drive back into town. I pick up the boy from his play date and take him home. I cover up the scratches Jade left on my arm by wearing long sleeves. I try to avoid my beau for the next few days until my cuts heal. I pretend I'm making preparations for his birthday. Of course, he's preoccupied. See, despite how awful his daughter was, he was genuinely worried when she disappeared. I listened to him as he made frantic calls to the police. He swore as they told him they could help him because Jade hadn't been gone long enough to be considered a missing person. I play the role of the supportive girlfriend. I plaster the neighborhood with missing persons posters. I'm there for him every night. When he suggests postponing the wedding, I tell him I understand. I even watch after his boy, taking him to the park and the circus. Anything to take his mind off of what happened to his sister.

Once the police begin investigating, they immediately finger her boyfriend, Beck. They search his home and discover Jade's phone in his back yard. It was crushed. They also find a pair of Jade's panties. Apparently, the two were still sleeping with each other, despite being broken up officially. They examine Beck and find scratches on his back. No doubt these were from when they were fucking, but the police assumed she gave them to him while he attacked her. He's currently awaiting trial. His lawyer's trying to convince him to take a plea bargain. I admit this was mostly due to luck and not any skill on my part, but it seems like I've pulled off the perfect crime.

Jade's funeral was a somber affair. Even though no body was found, we still buried an empty coffin. Next to the coffin is a picture of her as a child. She looks so sweet and innocent. I wonder what went wrong. Everyone's wearing black. I'm sure Jade would've loved it. Her friends are there. I'm surprised they managed to find nice things to say about her. Throughout the whole thing, I'm standing by my man. I put my arm around him as he breaks out in tears. That night we make love. It's the most intimate I've ever been with a man. It's like we're connected on a spiritual level. When we're done he whispers into my ear. "I don't think I would've made it through this without you."

"I know," I whisper back. I'm counting down the days until the wedding. It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be my fantasy. After what I just went through, I'm just glad it's happening. I don't care that the wedding will be an extended memorial to Jade. My husband is insisting her pictures will be prominently placed throughout the venue. I'm actually pleased to hear this. Knowing how much she hated us being together, I love the idea that she's going to be part of my special day. I've even taken some ideas from Jade. See, she had a diary and I started reading it after the incident. It turns out she fantasized about her wedding day. Most of her ideas are just macabre, but there are a few things that aren't terrible. I've incorporated them in my wedding. Since Jade will never have her wedding, I don't think she'll mind if I steal from her.