Cool idea that the big homie Boid came up with. It's a Naruto x DXD x DmC crossover. Your typical 'dude this isn't even Naruto it's an OC with a sword' fic. I just wanted to write cool shit that isn't depressing for once. The only thing in the fic that's DmC related is Yamato and the odd mention here and there. I'm writing out the scenes he comes up with so don't expect much, we're both kinda lazy. Enjoy!

The house was on fire. His house. Men and women in somber gowns surrounded it with crosses in hand. He clutched the skillfully wrapped, bloodstained cover tightly. An emotion he couldn't quite put into words bubbling up inside of himself as he watched on. He could still hear their screams, feel the blood drip down onto his head from the fissures in the floorboard.



They're dead.

"I'm dead."

Issei spent the better part of last night painstakingly working out the details, and this is what he had to show for it. Then again, how do you tell your best friend that you're no longer human? Was their a manual? He'd love to read it sometime.

Complete skepticism danced across dim blue eyes. Not that Issei blamed him. It's a hard pill to swallow. Naruto Uzumaki was no foreigner to the strange. He was born a natural blonde, had lines on his face that weren't wrinkles, and to top it off, he was never seen without his guitar box. Not too uncanny, right? Except, no one ever saw him play it.

Naruto let out a long sigh. Hands in his pockets and guitar strapped to his back as they wandered through the park toward the middle. "I don't know why I'm asking but, who did you creep on this time? The Kendo club? Volleyball team? Don't tell me it was the teachers again." He wasn't disappointed. Naruto didn't care about his distorted tendencies. No, he wasn't embarrassed or insulted. He was annoyed. That's because while Issei vehemently denied it out loud, ever since they'd met he managed to bring every single one of his problems to Naruto's attention.

"No, not metaphorically! Physically! I fucking died a few days ago, dude. Do you remember the adorable and ideal sweetheart that I had you meet? The one I was going steady with?" His friend seemed to think about it, then nodded once. "Shit! I figured you wouldn't, no one does! Wait...what?! You remember her!?"

"Yuka? Yuna? Something like that. I don't remember that well. Not my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend." He frowned. "How come a greedy pervert like you got a girlfriend? Meanwhile, I'm still a maiden. You deceived her, didn't you?! I'm your senior, you know! You can't just go surpassing me!"

"Naruto! Aren't you listening to me? I died! I had holes in my stomach that I could see into! If anything, she deceived me! Anyway, what the hell do you mean by that? If I can find a girlfriend than that must mean there's something wrong with you, not me!"

"What was that?! I'll kill you!"

Issei was already running. Naruto was now chasing.

"Didn't you hear me?! I'm already dead!"

"Let me make sure!"

Naruto is a guy with an attitude problem and the loudest mouth Issei had ever seen. He's stubborn, thick-skinned, and unreasonable. Someone that spoke his mind and didn't bother with telling lies even if they were small, which made enemies of almost everyone he meets. He was also stupid. In the past six months that Issei had known the blonde, he hadn't received a passing score of anything higher than a C- which in itself was pathetic. Even Issei managed to stay at around the B+ range. When confronted about it, he habitually displayed heightened violence and aggression. Anyone hearing his depiction of Naruto Uzumaki would likely stay away from him.

They'd be losing out.

"Naruto! Time out!" Issei stopped running and faced him. "It was right here! I died right here!" He indicated to the spring and the fenced-in garden yard between breaths. "She brought me out here and grew black wings and made these spears that felt like my skin was being cooked inside out when she stabbed me with them. It hurt so much! I'm not fucking making this up! I swear it!"

Naruto's eyes examined the field, "You don't say..."

Issei's heart thumped in his chest. He'd visited the park the morning after on the way to school and it was a mess. The fountain was fractured and leaking water. There were craters throughout. It looked like a battle had been hard-fought but to the morning joggers, there is nothing. Issei asked and begged everyone he saw to tell him if they were seeing likewise, but they gawked like he were insane! Would Naruto do the same?

"Looks normal to me." Issei's heart sank. Of course, what did he expect? It's wrong of him to even drag Naruto into something like this. His best friend's life could be in danger just standing near him. Issei wasn't thinking straight. "I believe you."

His head shot up.

"What? You believe me?"

Naruto nodded.

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

Issei blinked once. Bewildered.

"Why? There are no craters. No proof. I look crazy right now, don't I? Why would you believe me?"

Naruto watched him and spoke the same words he always did as if they were the answer to life's every question.

"Because I'm your friend."

He stood there with a goofy grin on his face. Hands at the back of his head, the Kuoh Academy blazer wrapped around his waist moving in the passing breeze. It was here that Issei thought to himself, 'If Naruto were a girl...I think I'd be in love.' He shook his head of those thoughts and settled on a thankful smile. All that Issei wanted was for someone to believe him.

"So, you want to hit the arcade while you tell me what it's like to die? We still have an hour before sundown."

Issei had spent that last few days trying to appear normal. The sun made him feel weak, thoughts of God or any Saints hurt him. He looked human, but that's as far as it went. It's just like she said. He was a Devil now and any chance at an average life is gone. This might be the last time he and Naruto could hang out together. The thought made him feel uncomfortable. He hadn't given it much consideration yet, but, he wasn't human anymore...

"Yeah. I'd like that."

Naruto put a hand on his shoulder, an unnatural sharpness in his gaze. "What's with that look?" He wanted to tell him everything, but, that would be selfish.

"It's nothing. Let's go, I still need to beat your high score in Let Devils Cry! You elbowed me last time while I was on fire and screwed me up. I won't let you play dirty again!"

Naruto shrugged. "Not my fault you were distracted. I saw an opportunity. I took it. Simple as that. Besides, it's not like you would have beat my score anyway. You came close, but close don't cut it."

"You cheated!"

"I improvised."

The duo took to arguing while walking the cobblestone route out to the city, unaware of a gleaming pair of crimson eyes following them from the darkness of the wood.

Naruto Uzumaki was a simple kind of man. He liked eating, sleeping, and masturbating. He loved instant ramen and hated the three minutes that it took for the noodles to prep. He disliked extremists and people who hurt others for no reason. His favorite color is orange and he did not play guitar. "Anyway, so I started blasting, right? And the dude on the other team has the balls to call me suss for it, so I immediately—" He wasn't good at much, nothing that mattered like school or sports, but he had an eye for certain things. This is why he could tell that despite Issei ranting about last nights battle royale match, there's something else on his friend's mind.

"Issei." They toured the darkening trail. The trees cast long shadows and the dim glow of the sun was almost gone. Street lights flickered, illuminating the path ahead. "We've been walking for almost ten minutes now and you haven't brought up boobs once. Somethings wrong."

His friend wouldn't look him in the eye.

"It's nothing. I'm just shaken up. It's hard to think right now. Don't worry, I'll get over it."

Naruto wasn't having it. "You get over it by talking about how you feel, not repressing shit." Whatever happened that night negatively affected Issei. He'd seen that look on his face plenty of times before. "It's worth talking about."

Issei appeared a little bothered. "I don't need a therapist right now, Naruto. I just need a friend."

"I can be both."

Issei groaned. "Even if I did tell you. It's not like it would change anything. I got what I needed too off my chest, trust me. Let's just go hang out and get some ramen or something? On me?"

A single golden brow rose. "On you? Is that a bribe? Now I'm convinced there's something you're not telling me." Naruto shrugged his shoulders and walked ahead of him. "Whatever. I won't force it. You'll tell me when you want too, I guess. I'm still taking you up on that ramen date, though. It's too late to turn back." Naruto snubbed his friends' calls for mercy.

"Excuse me, young fellas?" An old, worn voice called out from the shadows "Yes! You two young men? You wouldn't happen to have some spare change, would you?" Some stranger dressed in tattered clothes who reeked of something awful stood before them. His hand outstretched.

Naruto shared a glance with Issei, then they both ransacked their pockets.

"Ah, I've got some cash I could give...but it's going to leave me light for the ramen," Issei said, looking sheepish.

Naruto shrugged.

"That's fine. Give the old man some for me too and we'll call it even. I'm flat broke. We'll just call for a rain check."

"Yeah...raincheck..." Issei muttered. He got the cash together and handed it to the beggar. "Here you go, don't spend it on booze." The old man stared at his outstretched hand for a moment, then laughed, and laughed some more. The two shared another glance. "What? Is this not enough? We're broke high schooler's, what the hell did you expect?"

The beggar tried to get himself under control.

"Maybe we should just go? This dude is kind of weird." Naruto added, taking a step away from the lunatic and pulling Issei along with him. His friend nodded and shot him a look that screamed let's leave. They marched around the still laughing man but he wouldn't let them go.

"W-Wait! I'm sorry! I just remembered something funny. Anyway, I wasn't laughing at the money. I'm grateful that you're here! Without you two, I probably would have starved tonight."

"Okay, well, then here's the money. Go get some food." Issei went to hand the cash over when Naruto caught his wrist. "What's wrong? What are you doing?"

"Issei..." Naruto began, "Don't give this guy anything. Something's not right."

The old beggar fell to his knees. Laughing all the while. His body began to convulse. He started shaking, his flesh writhing. "It's NoT tHe MonEy I waNT, See?! I'M h-HUNgRY FOr S-sOmethiNG DIFFerent! A-ARgh! I'Ve BeEN HolDING BacK All Day!"

In a grotesque show, the old mans lower body exploded in blood. His skin stripped back and was replaced with what looked like scales. What stood before them now was a chimera, a thing that was half-man and half-snake, with a set inky black wings spread behind its back.

"What the fuck?"

Naruto couldn't believe his eyes.

"I told you. Black wings."

The beast howled in a mocking tone. "Finally! I've been dying to leave that dumb monkey suit behind! I figured if I waited a few days, eventually, you'd show up! You did too, and you brought me a toy! How lucky can I be! A Sacred Gear user and a plaything! Two birds with one stone!" It slithered toward them, faster than its size would lead one to believe. "Now, how should I do this? I don't have much time before anyone else finds us. Why don't we make it quick? You let me kill you and take your Sacred Gear, and then I take the human back with me for" It grinned, showcasing a neat row of razor-sharp teeth.

"Fun?" Naruto repeated, "What kind of fun? Like, boardgame fun? Video games? Pin the tail?"

The chimera laughed. "No." It lowered its massive head so it hung close enough that Naruto could feel its hot breath. "I'm going to fuck you. Then, I'm going to eat you."


Issei brought his arm up and in a flash of light, his hand was covered by a red gauntlet with a bright green jewel embedded in the center. "Naruto! Run!" The monster roared and brought its large arm down. Issei met the appendage with his Sacred Gear but was knocked backward from the sheer weight of the strike. He flew through the air and smashed against a tree. His body folded against the wood and a few wet snaps sounded in his ear.


Naruto grabbed his guitar case and ran for his friend. He dropped to the ground next to Issei and helped him stand, eyeing the blood that was flowing from his nose and mouth onto the grass wearily.

"Are you okay?!"

"I-I think I broke a rib or two..." He wheezed.

"Shit! You're bleeding a lot!" There was a dark spot on the stalk of the splintered trunk and a larger, darker one on Issei's left side where a fork of the tree awkwardly jutted out. Naruto brought a hand to the wound to stop the bleeding and Issei screamed in pain. "Sorry! I'm sorry!" He didn't know what to do! What was even happening?! "Issei! Stay with me, buddy! Come on! Stay with me!" The glazed over look in his friend's eye spelled trouble for the both of them.

"N-Naruto...look...l-look out!" Issei spat out a glob of blood and shoved them both down onto the ground as the chimera's claw destroyed what was left, a film of smoke and debris veiling them.

"As touching as this display of friendship is, I need to finish this quick."

Naruto didn't waste any time. He picked up Issei's broken body and the chest and dashed into the woods. He ran for his life. The path before him grew darker and darker, his body was struck with every branch and dense bush he went through. Whatever strength pushed him this far would leave him soon and Issei was in no shape to fight. The glove on his hand couldn't protect his whole body. Naruto needed to find somewhere safe!

Trees shook behind. The blonde could hear the chimera's taunting shouts in the distance. "I smell you! You won't get away from me, human! You're both mine!" The forest parted as it gave chase. It was fast! Faster than anything that big is allowed to be! Naruto's thoughts raced, but no matter where he turned, it was the same sinister woods.

"N-Naruto...leave me...please. M-My...fault..."

"Shut up! Save your breath!"

Naruto hurried along. Feeling like his legs would give out at any moment. The strain of carrying both the case and Issei proving to be too much. In the end, his efforts were in vain. He tripped. A single mistake sent them rolling downhill, where they each fell into a clearing—easy pickings. Naruto stared at the star-ridden night sky and cursed whatever God was out there. With a cry, he scrambled up and crawled to where Issei lay. His eyes closed and covered in blood. Dead to the world. The scene struck a chord and evoked memories of a much bloodier night.

'No...not again.'

The chimera rolled onto the field, laughing still. "This game of cat and mouse is over." Its hulking frame hovered over him. Naruto felt like an ant in the presence of the almighty shoe. "You stay right here, plaything. There's something I have to do." Without another glance at him, the monster slithered toward the unconscious Issei like the emissary of death. Too eager to do its duty. Giggling and talking to itself all the while.

Naruto felt the same response foam up inside. He was angry. Heat. Fire. Hot magma—a volcano erupting within the pits of his heart. 'Bullshit.' He gingerly stood, his left arm bent into an unusual angle. 'I won't accept this!' He only laid eyes on it once before their deaths. Even after all these years, he'd never once taken it out of the sheathe. The sight of it alone brought up painful memories, but, that didn't matter now.

He dropped on his knees before the guitar case he'd carried with him since that fateful day. Was he scared? Yes! Terrified! That didn't matter! There's no time for sentiment! No chance he'd hesitate this time! Even if he died, he'd be damned if he didn't at least try!

Naruto unclipped the pins and flipped it open to reveal no instruments, instead, a dingy set of bandages stained with old blood rested inside. 'You're the reason why they came that night.' Naruto grabbed it, 'You're going to pay me back, right here and now!' He hastily untied the cloth and unveiled a fine, beautiful hilt with a dark blue scabbard and golden wrappings. His fingers coiled around the handle, and with his eyes set on the chimeras back, Naruto unsheathed the blade.

The people of Kuoh city that chanced at viewing the heavens on that night swore it was real—a flash of light so intense it brightened the night sky. It was there for a fraction of a second, then it was gone.

"W-What was that?" The chimera, for a split second, found that it simply could not move. Its whole being sat frozen in awe. What felt like an ocean of power descended over it. It couldn't breathe, couldn't think! The chimera timidly turned to face whatever it was that made itself known, quick to beg forgiveness, and found a pair of eerily lustrous eyes looking back from the dark—a sword pointed directly at it. "Y-You? There's no one else, but you?" Was it a trick? Some warning? "Don't fuck with me, human!"

"I ran...back then...I was so scared..."

"W-What?" The beast bellowed, "What are you blabbering on about?! Is there someone else out there?! Show yourself! Come out and face me! These are my spoils, damn it!"

"This time. I won't run."

The chimera felt a kind of fury it hadn't known since the day it was turned into a devil. "You little shit! What are you on about!? You can barely stand, let alone fight! Are you insulting me? I was going to make a plaything out of you, but now I think I'll kill you first, pest!"

Idiot! Stupid! Pest! The moment its claws touched the toothpick held in his hand he'd lose the whole limb! Instead of groveling, and begging, and crying for his life, he's acting cool! He should be whimpering! This waste of space thinks he can act tough? Disgusting! The human should be wetting himself, not looking at it with eyes like those!

'I'm weak...If I were stronger...


Who? What is that?

...a voice I've never heard before... keeps whispering...


I need more power!'

With a mighty roar that rocked the leaves off of the trees encompassing them, the beast lunged. Its hulking frame soared through the air. The human wasn't moving! He wasn't even looking at it anymore! This was the end!

"Pitiful, weakling! Die!"

It opened its maw wide to swallow him whole.

'Hm? This...?' What a novel feeling. Sharp and cool. Not like when it consumed other people. Wet too, but there was nothing held in-between its jaws being ground to bits. There was no taste either. 'I can't seem to feel anything.' Blue eyes looked back at it, glossy and flat. 'He passed out? Then, I won?' It certainly looked that way. So, why? 'I'll just move and...I...I can't move?' Bulky arms sought for something, anything, they felt the human boys torso and followed it down to his hands—where a blade was firmly lodged into its skull.

It clicked.

'Oh. I see.

I'm going to die...again?'

Not a moment later the chimera fell to its knees, breathless.

Rias Gremory didn't think much of him. No one did. Then again, that's how it is for everyone, isn't it? Each person a stranger. Each carrying with them a treasure chest of secrets with its specific lock and key, waiting to be pillaged. The blonde was wrapped in bandages, that thing laying next to him. She couldn't shake the feeling even after letting it go.


'To think you've been carrying it with you.'

Was it a coincidence?

Another gift?

"Are they well, my Lady?" From the shadows, her Queen emerged. Akeno was lovely as she is lethal. Her most powerful piece and her most loyal friend. "I must admit, I've never quite seen you look so upset. Are you perhaps falling in love with Issei-kun? Did the thought of him being wounded rustle something inside?"

"Perhaps..." Rias crossed her arms under her chest and shifted in her chair. "It was quite a surprise to find my newest Pawn at deaths doorstep, but this one." She eyed the sleeping boy. "I didn't anticipate."

"Do you know him?"

The redhead shook her head.

"I know of him. It's my business to know every face in the school. He didn't seem special. No Sacred Gear. No notable linage. Just an orphan, his family killed when he was young. My brother has a soft spot for that sort of thing."

"He's in a few of my classes. Not the brightest, but he never stares at my chest for long. If I recall, he's always carrying that case around too." Akeno took a seat next to her King and offered her favorite tea, to which Rias gladly accepted with a smile and a soft thank you.

"A guitar case...that's where he kept it. The question is, how did that sword end up in human hands?"

She bit her lip.

"The sword. You haven't stopped gawking at it, or is it that you won't stop staring at him?"

Rias shot her friend an annoyed glance behind the teacup.

"It's not like that."

"I know, I know. Then, if you don't mind me asking, what's the big deal? If the sword is so compelling, why not show it to Kiba-kun? He could tell you a thing or two. Better yet, you're the heir to House Gremory. You have dozens of different options to choose from, rather than just staring at it while waiting for him to wake up."

"That's not the issue. I know what it is. At least, I think I do. What I want to know is why he has it."

"Okay. Now you've piqued my interest." Akeno stood up and leaned over the bed that Naruto slept in to take a closer look, her chest drooping over his face. "What's so fascinating about it? Looks like a regular sword to me."

"It's anything but..." Rias whispered. "You've heard of it, haven't you? The legend of Sparda?" Her Queen glimpsed back at her. "When I was young, my brother once told me a story. I never forgot. Long ago, in ancient times, a Devil was the first to rebel against his kind for the sake of the human race. With his sword, he shut the portal to the other worlds and sealed the evil entities off from the human world. In doing so, he saved humanity at the cost of his own life."

Akeno blinked twice.

"Hm. Quite the tale, and you think this is that sword?"

"I never believed it. I thought it was just a fairy tale, but, if I'm right. There's more to this so-called legend than meets the eye."

Rias watched a pair of bright blue eyes flicker open, a hearty bosom the very first thing they met. The blonde stared for what felt like an eternity, then, innocently, he brought his one good arm up to grope them. "Is this a dream?" He asked with a dumbstruck smile on his swelled face.

"Ara ara, how bashful."