Credit for beta-reading goes to Joe Lawyer. Umodin seems to be missing in action at the moment, but this chapter didn't have too much lore related in it anyway.



"I need the Kirin Tor to plug the universe's butthole so that I can safely massage feeling back into Azeroth's buttcheeks." Harry repeated patiently.

"That's what I thought you said, but… what?" Jaina was still bewildered.

He decided to walk her through it- "Alright, you know how we went to Karazhan the other day?"

"Uh huh."

"And Karazhan is in Deadwind Pass."


"There is a half-formed unstable connection to the Twisting Nether in Karazhan."

"Concerning, but I still follow you."

"I found out that Deadwind Pass is in its current state because some eredar warlock performed a powerful necromantic ritual there that sucked all life out of the region and created a tangled energy nexus on the spot where Karazhan was later built."

"And you can't untangle it without possibly doing further damage to the dimensional barrier between us and the Twisting Nether." Jaina was quick to connect the dots. "But why did you have to use that kind of analogy?"

"You really can't see it?" Harry was disappointed. "Deadwind Pass – passing wind. Clearly, that place is Azeroth's fart hole."

Jaina took a deep, deep breath and was quite clearly praying for strength and patience. "I will talk to the Council about it if you promise to never, ever make that joke again."

"It's no fun if I have to explain it anyway." Harry grumbled.

"Actually, perhaps it would be better if you asked them yourself." Jaina pushed past his griping. "With the recent arrival of the draenei happening as predicted, everyone is taking your foretelling of the Dark Portal opening much more seriously. I was able to convince the faction leaders of the Horde and Alliance to meet in Theramore to discuss what to do about Outland."

"And the Kirin Tor will be there?" He raised an eyebrow. "Aren't they still licking their wounds after what Archimonde and the Scourge did to them?"

"Dalaran is far from fully recovered, that's true." She allowed. "But most of the reason for their seclusion was actually the Forsaken presence in the area. Sylvanas was aggressively purging threats to her rule and the Kirin Tor couldn't afford to take any more losses. With Sylvanas pulling her Forsaken back to the Tirisfal Glades and my word on your intention to restore them to life, the Council of Six decided that it should be safe to send an emissary."

"Interesting." Harry hummed. "Yes, that could work. The issue isn't particularly time sensitive now that there's no warlock in Karazhan actively mucking things up and it would give me time to go over the tower with a fine-toothed comb to make sure I haven't missed anything. One question though, am I actually being invited to this meeting?"

"Well, no." Jaina admitted cagily. "You aren't a faction leader, so you would be there as my… guest."

Harry smiled widely. "Jaina, are you asking me out on a date?"

"No!" She denied immediately. "Don't get any ideas, this is a strictly diplomatic venture."

"A diplomatic venture that it sounds like I had a large part in making possible." Harry countered. "Don't I at least get a hug and a peck on the cheek for my efforts?"

The unimpressed stare he got in response indicated otherwise. "You can have a handshake, go talk to your… Battle Harem if you want anything more."

"I can't, they're busy doing other stuff." Harry sighed theatrically. "Colette went to check up on how things are going in the Plaguelands and Luna went with her. Arko and Jessir went to Astranaar to deliver a weapons shipment that the Silverwing Sentinels had commissioned, and they'll be staying for a while to get in some hunting for Della. I really need to figure something out for that jealous wolf…"

"You're taking blacksmithing commissions?" Jaina asked in surprise, ignoring everything else.

"Well, yes." Harry's response was a quizzical frown. "It only makes sense to equip my allies with better gear. The more problems other people can handle, the less work I have to do personally."

Jaina opened her mouth to reply, then paused, brow furrowed indecisively. "How the hells do you manage to make helping people sound selfish?"

"It's a gift." He puffed out his chest. "Anyway, do you want to make a commission?"

"What are you prices?" She asked warily.

"Well, the stuff I made for the Silverwing Sentinels was a gift since we're going to be neighbours and it only makes sense to foster good relations. I don't really need money, so I would normally deal in favors. In your case… how about a kiss?" Harry grinned.

"I half-expected you to ask for a night of passion." Jaina's sarcasm was colder than her spells. She was clearly not amused.

"I thought that might be taking things a step too far, for the moment." He explained. "When wooing a woman, you've got to push right up against her boundaries, but not over them. Once she gets comfortable, the boundaries will move and you can push further."

"I'm not letting you push my boundaries." Jaina glared.

"If I asked for a kiss in exchange for a service when we first met, you would have turned me into an ice block." Harry pointed out.

Her face slackened as she realized that he was right, then turned red in a combination of anger, frustration and embarrassment. "I'm not kissing you."

"Not even for a thousand weapons for your soldiers?" Harry smiled. "Maybe even armor for your lieutenants? I'm the only wizard smith on Azeroth, you know."

And it was true. There were other blacksmiths and other mages, but the runeblades of the Scourge death knights were the closest comparison. His spellforged weapons were a cut above mere enchanted weapons, even those without any exotic effects.

Jaina knew it and could not justify turning down such an advantage for her men out of pride.

"You said you would deal in favors when negotiating commission prices." She said. "Pick a normal favor."

"There is no such thing as a 'normal' favor." He chided. "It all depends on the person and the situation. But if you don't want to give me a kiss, then how about a hug? Surely we are friendly enough for that, and getting a thousand spellforged weapons in exchange for a hug will probably be the best deal you've ever made."

It would be, but he had literally just told her about how he was planning to push her boundaries.

"Throw in a dozen suits of full plate and you'll get your hug." She demanded.

"You drive a hard bargain, Jaina." Harry sucked on his teeth. "One minute, full contact. And you can't just stand there, you have to hug back."

"Agreed." She huffed, obviously having planned to do the bare minimum. "How long will it take you?"

"Hmm, with the Restoration Serum project nearing completion, I would say that I can average about six swords per week. Taking time dilation into account, the order should be finished sometime between fifteen to twenty-five days."

Jaina goggled in surprise for a moment, knowing that an order that large would normally take a single blacksmith years of work. Even putting aside the time dilation, making a proper magical blade normally took more than a day of work.

"You can really work that fast?" She had to ask.

"I've been doing this for a long time, and making standardized equipment with no special features isn't that hard. Most of the time investment in spellforging comes from having to carefully plan out and prepare for the process beforehand."

Of course, there were exceptions. His own modifications to Atiesh had been a bit spur of the moment, but in that case he had only needed a sharp blade and a connection to Azeroth, rather than something as fancy as Arko's Holy Moonlight Greatsword or Colette's Voidblade.

"Alright, if you can really manage to complete the order that fast then I'll consider hugging you a small price to pay." Jaina thawed a bit, even giving a tiny smile.

"I feel both insulted and motivated. Are you trying to seduce me?"


Meanwhile, in Astranaar.

"We weren't this bad, were we?" Jessir muttered quietly to Arko as they observed the Silverwing Sentinels gushing – in a very restrained manner – about their new weapons.

"Of course not." Arko lied. She distinctly remembered being reluctant to even bathe without her Holy Moonlight Greatsword when she first got it.

"Good, because this is kind of embarrassing." The huntress nodded.

At her feet, Della let out a canine scoff.

Raene Wolfrunner jogged up to them with a big smile on her face, hefting the new custom polearm Harry had made for her. A discerning eye would have identified it as a Chinese guandao, albeit with a night elven aesthetic.

The Sentinel commander didn't know anything about that, but she was very pleased by its look, heft, durability, sharpness and ease of use.

"This is even better than what I had hoped for." She said happily. "With these new weapons, we should have no trouble securing Ashenvale."

"I'm sure Harry will be happy to hear that." Jessir said wrily.

Yes, he would. He had been completely upfront about his reasons for giving the Sentinels a gift like this, so they couldn't disapprove of him using her people to advertise his skills.

"Speaking of that man of yours." Raene smirked, producing a sealed envelope. "A letter arrived, from your father. I think I can guess what he wants to talk to you about."

Jessir went statue-stiff and took the letter. Raene left them to it with another smirk.

"Aren't you going to read it?" Arko prompted when her friend didn't move for a full minute.

"Do I have to?" Jessir asked plaintively. "I saw my father less than five years ago. We could just pretend that the letter got lost en route."

Five years was nothing to a night elf. A separation wasn't considered 'long' until it lasted for at least a century.

"You'll have to get this over with eventually." Arko pointed out reasonably. "And it won't be too terrible. Your father is an understanding man."

That being said, Arko was relieved that she didn't have to deal with this issue herself. While she would never say or think that she was glad that her parents were long dead, she certainly wasn't upset at not having to deal with this problem herself.

"My father, who always taught me to think carefully before making big decisions." Jessir replied dully. "Yes, I'm sure he will be perfectly understanding of us jumping into bed with a married couple on our second meeting and then calling ourselves a Battle Harem."

Arko winced at the sarcasm, unable to refute it. It did look pretty reckless from an outside perspective. Jessir herself had mentioned a time or two how quickly things had happened.

Arko didn't really mind that too much, if she was being honest. She'd always been considered very impatient for a night elf and the very physical relationship suited her much better than the slow courting common to her race.

But Jessir would have almost definitely chickened out if she had been alone. Her friend had always been prone to getting pulled along by other people.

"Make Harry and Luna deal with it." She suggested. "Between her status as a favored of Elune and her… oddities, Luna will probably confuse him into being happy for you."

Of course, that wasn't going into the fact that Harry had proposed marriage already and a tipsy Jessir had kind of agreed to it. Neither of them had quite managed to figure out how to raise the topic again and both Harry and Luna seemed content to give them as much time as they needed.

Arko had a feeling that it would come up if they talked to Jessir's father and was morbidly curious to see what would happen. It would be one way to settle things.

"And Harry would…?" Jessir paused in her reply. "I have no idea what he would do in that situation, but at least I wouldn't have to do anything."

That decided, they finally opened the envelope and read the letter inside.

"What does it say?" Arko asked curiously.

"About what we expected." Jessir sighed. "He heard about our exploits in Ahn'Qiraj and Naxxramas, including our complicated relationship status and is inviting our whole group to dinner. He's being extra polite, which is never a good sign."

"And he doesn't even know about Colette yet." Arko chuckled.

"Damn, you're right." Jessir groaned, shaking her head. "I don't want to think about this mess right now. Let's go hunt something."

Della's bored countenance visibly perked up at the H-word and she started panting happily.


Mean-meanwhile, in Light's Hope Chapel.

"Colette, you're looking… taller." Alexandros Mograine commented with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, well, Harry offered to make me a new body as a joining bonus for his harem and I saw no reason to refuse." Colette shrugged with a saucy grin.

"I see." Alexandros quite plainly did not see. "Why have you come?"

Colette resisted the urge to make a dirty pun. Harry had been rubbing off on her in more ways than one.

"Can't I just visit an old comrade?" She asked instead, but received only a flat stare. "Fine, be that way. I wanted to see how you were doing."

"I could be better." The restored paladin admitted. "Renault was rotten beyond saving and I had to execute him."

Colette hid a wince. Back when they were still the Four Horsemen, Kel'thuzad had at one point taunted Alexandros with the knowledge of how his easily own son had been led to murdering him. It was a crime so great that execution was the only just punishment, but Alexandros was never one to let others do what he considered to be his duty, even if nobody would blame him for not wanting to kill his own son.

Alas that the man was too stubborn to spare himself that pain.

"I am sorry to hear that." She said plainly.

Alexandros just nodded and changed the subject. "Other than that, we've had a devil of a time dealing with the Scarlet Crusade. The rank and file can usually be reasoned with, but most of the leaders are zealous to the point of insanity or so twisted by hatred as to be barely recognizable. You remember Renault's old friend, Sally Whitemane?"

"How could I forget High Inquisitor Whitemane?" Colette asked back rhetorically. As a high ranking figure in the Scarlet Crusade, Whitemane had been known to the Scourge. Plus, Alexandros had been a proud father and sometimes bragged about his children and their youthful exploits.

"I dragged her out of the Scarlet Monastery along with Renault, but the fool girl thinks that everyone that disagrees with her is plagued. We're keeping her prisoner here for now, but even telling her that Grand Crusader Dathrohan is just a corpse being puppeted by Balnazzar only made her more stubborn. We might not have any other choice but to put her out of her misery."

Ah, the Dreadlord Balnazzar. Another thing that Kel'thuzad had once boasted about. The Archlich had really been entirely too confident in his belief that none of the undead in his thrall would ever break free. The two had not been allies, exactly, but they weren't above cooperating when it suited them.

"Didn't she have some unusual talent for resurrection, including of herself?" Colette raised an eyebrow.

That had been the most notable thing about Whitemane. The girl had reportedly been killed several times, only to will herself back to life a while later.

"It's more like that she hates the undead so much that she simply refuses to die until every trace of them is destroyed." Alexandros sighed. "We were considering dismembering her body and then destroying the pieces, but I suspect that she might come back even from that, if only as a vengeful spirit. I never thought I would see someone wield the powers of the Light with such hate."

Colette was less surprised. After finding that the Void was not as evil as church dogma claimed and seeing Harry wielding both Light and Void through pure will rather than faith, she knew that it wasn't righteousness that was the key ingredient, but rather certainty of purpose. Hate was good for that.

A commotion deeper in the encampment drew their attention. Notably, the commotion was made up almost entirely of a single female voice shouting imprecations against all and sundry.

"That sounds like Whitemane." Alexandros said, concerned.

"Oh dear." Colette muttered, suddenly recalling that she had let Luna out of her sight in order to have a private talk with her old friend. Although she hadn't known the other woman long, it was long enough to get a feel for her personality.

The two of them rushed ahead, prepared to quell any kind of trouble, but what they saw was an incredibly angry Sally Whitemane squirming helplessly in the grip of the much larger Luna.

"Let go of me!" Whitemane shrieked in outrage. "I'll burn you all! Abominations! Traitors! Diseased filth!"

"Shush, it'll be okay." Luna responded soothingly, perking up when she spotted Colette. "Colette! Hi! Maxwell said I could take Sally here back to the tower."

"He did, did he?" Colette gave the man in question a withering look, which the Argent Dawn commander steadfastly ignored.

"Lady Luna said she could help her." The man made his excuses for dumping the problem on someone else.

"I DO NOT NEED HELP!" Whitemane roared, beginning to glow golden with the power of the Light.

"None of that." Luna chided and the golden glow winked out. "I know you're in a lot of pain, but you really need to be a little more selective about sharing it."

"Luna, are you sure this is a good idea?" Colette asked with a frown.

"Of course it is." Luna assured with utter confidence. "I'll help Sally and then Sally can help with the rest of the Scarlet Crusade."

"I will never betray the crusade!" Whitemane spat, apparently recovered from the shock of having her powers blocked.

"Fine, but don't try to make her part of the Battle Harem." Colette conceded.

"You don't have to worry about that, she'd be a poor fit." Luna agreed easily.


Arko and Jessir spent a couple of days hunting with Della before hearthstoning home. Their destination was a room of many doors, which was meant to confuse anyone that tried to invade from that angle, even though the hearthstone only worked for people who lived at the destination.

Harry was a bit paranoid like that.

"Harry? We're home." Jessir called out, mostly to check whether he was in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber or not.

"Come on up to the loft, there's something you've got to see." His voice answered.

The two night elves exchanged speculative looks of dread, wondering what fresh weirdness had been added to their lives while they were away. They didn't for a moment think it was anything innocuous if Harry thought that they had to see it.

Still, they shrugged and climbed the stairs and towards to their living space. Harry and Luna had, as a nod to night elf preferences, converted the entire floor of the tower meant to be lived in into a single large and airy room. The gigantic bed still dominated the space and it was still made of stone, but the open space and permanent twilight enchantment made it very appealing to them.

Luna wasn't there at the moment, but Harry and Colette were, sitting at the balcony table and apparently sharing a meal while watching something down below.

"What's going on?" Arko asked.

"Take a look." Colette prompted with a grin, gesturing over the balcony.

Arko and Jessir exchanged another look and did so.

Luna was down at the moonwell, and she was holding another, furiously struggling, naked woman under the water in what appeared to be an attempted cuddle.

"What?" Jessir asked blankly, unable to process what she was seeing. "Is Luna drowning someone in the moonwell?"

"Not quite." Harry answered with a grin. "She's trying to get her to calm down."

"By drowning her?" Arko was also struggling to connect the dots. "In the moonwell?"

"Whitemane – that's the girl's name – has an Underwater Breathing spell on her." Colette explained, chuckling. "This is day three of Luna's attempts to get the crazy zealot to stop and listen for a moment."

"I'm honestly impressed that Whitemane is managing to maintain this level of anger for so long." Harry mused. "If she gives up on priesthood, she'd make for an amazing berserker."

"Who is she?" Jessir asked, sitting down at the table and absently swiping some bacon for Della. The wolf chomped it eagerly.

"Sally Whitemane, High Inquisitor of the Scarlet Crusade… until Alexandros stomped into the Scarlet Monastery, awed all the rank and file into a revolt and dragged both her and his son out of it by their ears." Colette explained some more.

"And she's here because…?" Arko prompted.

"Every so often, Luna likes to pick up strays and problem children." Harry sighed. "In this case, she also wanted to help me out by turning a high ranking member of the Scarlet Crusade into an ally, but I'm wondering if she hasn't misjudged the situation. I can see the cracks in Whitemane's psyche all the way from over here and it's going to take more than a little skinship to fix."

"She's not going to be joining us, is she?" Jessir asked with some trepidation.

"Hah, no." Harry snorted. "A bit of wisdom from my world – never stick your dick in crazy. Plus, it would ruin Luna's strategy. She looks like she's trying to position herself into a mothering role, so anything sexual would just screw her up even more."

Arko and Jessir let out breaths of relief.

"And she strikes me as a biter anyway."

"So, how did the delivery go?" Colette changed the subject.

"Ah, it went well. Commander Wolfrunner and her Sentinels loved it." Jessir said delicately.

"I sense a but." Harry frowned. "You're about to tell me something awkward, inconvenient and unavoidable, aren't you?"

"Well… I got a letter from my father. He's inviting us to dinner."

"That would do it."


Sally Whitemane was familiar with anger – she rarely felt any other emotion these days. That being said, even she couldn't stay in a state of murderous rage forever, especially when there was no obvious threat.

She'd thought there was at first. She'd thought that the half-elven(?) priestess of Elune was to be her new jailor, the corrupt Argent Dawn having handed her off to her for whatever nefarious purpose. She had resisted with all her might, but she didn't understand what all these attempts at 'kindness' were in pursuit of.

The archmage and the former death knight didn't do anything either. Sally didn't for a moment believe that Lady Blaumeux was truly restored and had assumed that the archmage had some evil plot in mind, but no threat materialized from that direction either.

The two night elves were barely an afterthought. She hadn't given the species much thought to begin with, and had in fact never seen a night elf before. If they were with this group then they must be evil, but that was all she knew.

So really, it was inevitable that the rage simmered down in sheer confusion. She was still convinced that they were all in league with either the Scourge or the Burning Legion or independently villainous – just their ability to block her access to the Light proved it – but constantly raging at her confinement was clearly not doing any good.

Then one day, just under two weeks into her new situation, Luna said that she was having tea with Archbishop Benedictus, and asked if she wanted to come along.

Sally was baffled, and for the life of her could not see how this could be some evil scheme, so she agreed. In the worst case scenario, Luna was trying to corrupt Benedictus, so being there would allow her to do something about it.

Benedictus might even be an ally – he was a well known proponent for the destruction of all undead. There had been quite a few volunteers to the cause coming from Stormwind.

"Hi!" Luna greeted the archbishop with far too much cheer. "I brought a guest. This is Sally Whitemane and she used to be with the Scarlet Crusade."

"I am still with the Scarlet Crusade!" Sally snapped back. Just because she had been captured by the enemy did not mean that she was suddenly renouncing her goals!

"Nuh uh." Luna countered with that same infuriating childishness that had been driving her crazy for the entirety of her captivity. "I'm going to make you see the error of your ways."

There were no errors in her ways!

"Would that be High Inquisitor Whitemane?" Benedictus interjected shrewdly.

"Yes, Archbishop." Sally replied respectfully. Even if the Church of Holy Light wasn't proactive enough for her tastes, she did still hold the man in high regard.

"You know, there was a time when I lauded the efforts of the Scarlet Crusade." Benedictus said quietly.

Sally's face briefly fell, then twisted with wrath. They had already gotten to him.

"Our work is necessary!" She hissed. "Evil cannot be allowed to exist."

"Wanting to fight the good fight is one thing, sweetie, but you were putting too much hate into it." Luna said sympathetically, patting her on the hand.

That she could say there was such a thing as hating evil too much proved that she was in service to dark powers! Sally snatched her hand away and glared silently. If not for the bracelets that the archmage had put on her wrists to deny her access to the Holy Light, she would have tried to burn her. Again.

"I admit, I was also skeptical of the idea that undead could be anything other than monsters." Benedictus spoke up again. "Deserving of pity for what happened to them perhaps, but still monsters that had to be destroyed."

Sally felt no pity for the undead. What they had once been was long gone and only abominations remained.

"But I had the opportunity to examine several of the undead that Luna's husband restored and could find no trace of necromantic corruption." Benedictus continued. "Their minds and souls bore the scars of what they had suffered, but they were living people once again."

"The taint of undeath can only be expunged with holy fire." Sally proclaimed with iron certainty.

"As you can see, she's still a bit unreasonable, but I have high hopes for her." Luna said optimistically. "I'm aiming to reform her by the time we invade Northrend."

"I am the High Inquisitor, my duty is to purge corruption at home." Sally retorted curtly. "It is the job of crusaders to destroy threats in distant lands."

"I know, but we just don't trust you to do that." Luna replied cheerfully.

Red crept up Sally's face, furious at the thought of some corrupt demon harlot saying that she was the untrustworthy one.

"Why don't we put this topic aside for now?" Benedictus suggested. "I have heard rumors that Illidan Stormrage is behind the recent re-opening of the Dark Portal and wished to ask whether Elune had forsaken him or if she still considers him one of her children…"

As the theological discussion continued, Sally became convinced of one thing above all others.

Once the Scarlet Crusade was done purging Lordaeron, they would have to come to down to cleanse Stormwind as well.


As previously noted, night elves tended to do things slowly as was the style of long-lived species everywhere. This meant that, even though they were in the ballpark of two thousand years old, Arko and Jessir still had comparatively little life experience.

Simple age, however, still conferred a certain self-assurance that wouldn't generally be found in women in their early twenties, which was what Harry had pegged them as being if they were human.

That made it all the funnier to see Jessir fretting nervously over having dinner with her father. She was easily the most worried about it, despite Harry ostensibly being the one who could expect to be faced with parental disapproval.

But he understood. Having to explain to your very conservative father that you joined an adventuring party that was also a harem had to be a daunting proposition.

"Why does this seem kind of familiar?" Harry asked of nobody in particular, frowning as he tried to pin down the sense of déjà vu.

"Arianne?" Luna offered helpfully, familiar enough with his thoughts to immediately guess what he was thinking.

"No, everyone knew what they were in for with Arianne." He shook his head, sparing a brief thought for the Dornish princess. The stubborn girl had refused to speak to him almost to her death bed because he wouldn't make her immortal.

"Ooh, then you must be thinking of Nymphadora." Luna realized. "When we talked to her parents about our harem."

"And she kept insisting that it wasn't a harem." Harry chuckled, remembering now. "Good times."

"Can you please not introduce us as the Battle Harem?" Jessir begged.

"But that's what we are…?" Luna was confused.

"Can you explain it to her?" The huntress turned to him with a pleading expression.

"Over the centuries, many a foolish husband, wife, in-law, friend, child and even enemy has attempted to contain the Luna." Harry intoned ominously. "All learned the futility of their efforts."

"In other words, grin and bear it." Colette summed up with a chuckle.

"Easy for you to say." Jessir muttered sourly.

"It'll be alright." Arko tried to console her. "Your father was always very even-tempered."

"He never had to learn that his daughter is putting the Highborne to shame."

"Don't worry about it!" Luna advised cheerfully, giving the huntress a hug. "He'll be happy for you once he sees that you're happy with us."

Jessir took a deep breath and nodded. "I suppose you're right. Let's get this over with before I lose my nerve."


Jessir's father lived in the Moonglade, a region sacred to the night elves and to druids in particular. Nadaar Moonbow wasn't a druid himself, but he was the non-combat type of hunter. His wife had been one as well, and they'd one made their home in Darkshore, doing their small part to keep the forests there as healthy as possible. But then Jessir's mother had been killed by one of the local threats and Nadaar had migrated to the safer Moonglade for the sake of his young daughter.

Harry had learned all this some time ago due to Luna' enthusiastic questioning and sharing of personal history. He kept his opinion on putting one half of a two-person job out of commission with a child to himself. Frankly, it was a small miracle that Jessir's father had survived going out alone while her mother had been pregnant, and no surprise at all that something finally got her mother while Nadaar was busy babysitting.

It only further reinforced his opinion that night elves had zero long term survival instinct, but that was not a debate a man had with his kinda-sorta father-in-law on the first meeting. At least he was in the familiar territory of being vastly more powerful than the man whose daughter he was banging. He was self-aware enough to admit to himself that he was too egotistical to put up with parental disapproval in any capacity other than polite indulgence.

And polite indulgence was what he was giving as Nadaar Moonbow hugged his daughter and then went on to greet Arko, whom he had also known for a long time. It was a perfectly reasonable way of doing things, but Harry could tell that it was also a subtle snub in the direction of the three non-night elves.

That was fair, the night elves hadn't had anything good happen to them since being forced out of their seclusion. It was only natural that their opinion of other races would be a bit poor. Frankly, they were handling it with a lot more tolerance than Harry would have in their shoes.

Then again, he was Harry 'Get Out or Die' Black, purveyor of crimes against humanity(legally unproven) and quite notorious for his penchant of throwing the good out with the bad if the bad was deemed bad enough, so maybe that wasn't saying much.

"Everyone, this is Nadaar Moonbow, my father." Jessir introduced formally once the initial greetings were done. "Father, these are Harry, Luna and Colette Blaumeux, our, umm…?"

She was clearly fumbling for a word that wouldn't result in the Parental Stare of Disapproval.

"Hello!" Luna came to the rescue with a pleased smile. "It's great to finally meet you!"

Nadaar had the ageless look common to night elves, but his silver hair and bushy beard made him look a lot older from a human perspective. Harry was just glad that Luna hadn't compared him to Santa Claus.

Silver eyebrows furrowed in consternation as he replied. "Likewise. I have heard much about you from what rumors reach me here, but some of them seemed a bit… outlandish."

Harry almost felt bad for him. The poor fool was clearly hoping that the saucier stories had just been spawned by dirty minds and their party's lopsided gender ratio.

"We will be happy to confirm, deny or elaborate on any rumors you care to discuss." He said with a smile, taking a certain amount of amusement in Jessir and Arko's anxious expressions.

They really were getting entirely too wound up over this.


Although they were here by invitation, they hadn't exactly announced that they were coming, so Nadaar hadn't had time to prepare anything. Still, they made do with whatever was in the pantry, which mostly amounted to one boar carcass and whatever herbs the older night elf had gathered.

Despite often being tree huggers in the literal sense, night elves leaned quite a bit further into the carnivorous side of the diet than humans. That much Harry had already noted from Arko and Jessir.

What he was noticing now, was a curious lack of awkwardness as they worked together to prepare the meal. Colette was the only one who clearly felt out of place, as it just wasn't the done thing among humans for guests to participate in preparing meals. A sample size of one wasn't enough to draw any firm conclusions of course, but indicated that night elves might have a very different conception of hospitality.

The conversation carefully avoided any land mines, which was more familiar. Polite humans avoided lines of discourse that might put people off their food. It was only as the meal was concluding that Nadaar finally went somewhere potentially volatile.

"I notice that you aren't using your mother's old bow anymore." He said with a carefully neutral tone of voice.

Azeroth was a dangerous world, so nobody with any sense ever left their weapons out of arm's reach. Even at the tower, Jessir, Arko and Colette didn't relax on that. Their blades were propped up against the tub when they bathed and held in special sheaths on the side of the bed when they slept. Even the fact that they could summon them into their hands at any point wasn't enough to get them to so much as consider breaking that habit.

That meant that they had come to Nadaar's house fully armed, if not armored.

"I still have it back ho... at the tower." Jessir was quick to say, and even quicker to cut herself off when she realized what she had been about to imply.

Harry let a smile curl his lips. He and Luna had been quite… vigorous about bulldozing past the typical night elven pussyfooting where relationships were concerned. If they wanted to be more than just a one night stand, then by thunder they were going to go all in. None of this slow courtship nonsense.

"The weapons Harry made for us are a lot more powerful and carry the blessings of Elune. It would have been foolish to cling to a lesser weapon out of sentimentality." Jessir pushed on, no doubt hoping that her slip of the tongue would be overlooked.

"Your mother would agree." Nadaar nodded. "And I heard that you've done some remarkable things. Fighting the qiraji down in Silithus and invading a fortress of the Undead Scourge. Exactly the kind of adventures I was afraid you would go on when you and Arko first told me about your plans."

"We never intended for things to happen this way, but… they did." Arko shrugged helplessly, glancing towards Harry and Luna.

"How?" Nadaar asked simply.

They launched into the story of how Arko got captured by the Shadow Council, glossed over how bad it was, and focused on the part where Jessir was just about to set off alone in search of her when Harry and Luna showed up to offer their aid.

"How did you know my daughter needed help?" Nadaar asked.

"Big Sis Elune told me." Luna provided.

"You claim to be Elune's younger sister?" The male night elf's eyebrows shot up.

"We aren't native to Azeroth." Harry elaborated. "Luna was worshiped as the Moon Goddess on the last world we were on, which is why she calls Elune a big sister."

"I see…" Said the man who clearly did not see. "And now you are one of Elune's priestesses."

"Hehe, yep!" Luna chirped. "Elune is the nicest goddess we've ever met, so I'm happy to help her out where I can."

Nadaar's brows furrowed again as he tried to parse that sentence. Priests and priestesses usually considered their work a calling or a service, so it was easy to see why having Luna talk about her position like a favor to a friend would be throwing him off.

"And you adventured together from then on?" He asked.

"No, we didn't want them making decisions fresh off a rescue, so we parted ways soon after." Harry replied. "Although I did promise to upgrade their gear if they were going to keep adventuring. It would have been rather aggravating if they died due to poor equipment after we went through the trouble of saving them."

"That's why you offered us new gear for free?!" Arko exclaimed, trying to sound angry as she punched him in the shoulder. "You ass!"

"What, you thought it was out of the kindness of my heart?" He teased, poking her in the ribs in retaliation. "You should know better by now."

"You seem close." Nadaar commented mildly.

"Of course!" Luna exclaimed brightly and the two female night elves' faces took on the cast of someone watching a train wreck about to happen. "We're getting married, after all."

Jessir and Arko cringed, ducking their heads, while Nadaar blinked in shock.

"What?" He asked flatly.

"We ended up having sex on our second meeting. Jessir and Arko didn't want it to be a casual tussle in the sheets, and Luna and I don't see any point in taking things slow." Harry summarized.

"I know you always told me to not rush into things, but…" Jessir spoke up, shrugging awkwardly. "Well, things happened." She finished lamely.

Nadaar was quiet for a very long moment, then he spoke in a very calm tone. "Jessir, could I speak to you alone for a moment."

"Umm, alright." She agreed nervously and got up, following her father into the woods some distance away.

"Well, that went better than expected." Harry commented into the tense silence that followed.

"That was better than expected?" Arko demanded incredulously. "He's furious!"

"Of course he is." Harry agreed. "The situation goes against his personal beliefs and he loves his daughter too much to blame her for it, so that leaves us as acceptable targets for his emotions. I was honestly expecting shouting and threats by this point."

"Right!" Luna chimed in. "He just needs some time to get used to the idea that Jessir is genuinely happy with us, instead of thinking that we tricked her into something."

"You've done this before, haven't you?" Colette spoke up, amused.

"Not as much as you'd think." Harry smirked. "But I did have a lot of children, and not all of them did things the way I wanted or expected."

"I would like to hear about them some time." The former death knight said with interest. "So, what will happen now?"

"I don't know, it depends on whether night elf fathers have a tradition of threatening the men that their daughters are involved with."

Any further conversation was interrupted as a fuming Jessir stomped back to them. She looked like she didn't know whether she wanted to scream or cry.

"Aw, poop." Luna 'swore' and he agreed with the sentiment, if not the expression.

There weren't a whole lot of things Nadaar could have said to upset Jessir this much in so short a time.

Luna grabbed Arko and intercepted Jessir halfway towards them with a simple question. "Teleport home?"

The huntress silently nodded and the three of them disappeared in the flash of teleportation.

"So, now what?" Colette asked.

"Damage control." Harry nodded towards where Nadaar had been watching, rubbing at his cheek with a shocked expression. "Jessir won't be mad forever and it's best we leave on as positive a note as possible. Go talk to him a bit."

"Why me? Why don't you do it?"

"I will, but right now he's thinking of me as an enemy. I need you to soften him up first."


Colette really wasn't sure what kind of talk Harry wanted her to have with Nadaar Moonbow,, so she cringed at the awkwardness of her opener even as she said it.

"Offspring trouble?"

Nadaar gave her disgruntled sour look. That was fair. Not only was it a terrible opener, but it had already been pretty clear that the hunter didn't much like her.

"What do you want?" He asked shortly.

"Jessir is my friend and I wouldn't want her to be fighting with her father." Telling him that Harry had sent her seemed like a bad idea.

There was a long silence before the night elf spoke again. "This is not how I raised my daughter."

"Well, children don't always follow the path set out for them by their parents." Colette shrugged. "I've never had any of my own, but I heard plenty of grumbling from other parents."

"She always listened to me in the past."

"She had to grow up and make her own decisions eventually."

"If only she made the right ones." Nadaar grumbled.

"Is what we have really so terrible?"

"I did not raise my daughter to behave like one of Azshara's Highborne pets!" Nadaar snapped.

This wasn't working. Harry had wanted her to de-escalate the situation, but she was just making it worse.

"You don't even know us." Colette was starting to understand why Harry sent her in first, though. He would have been tempted to needle the man further. "If we were really so deviant, then don't you think that Elune would have turned her back on Luna already?"

That brought Nadaar up short and he stayed silent.

"At least talk to Harry before we go. It might give you something to think about by the time we can convince Jessir to come back and talk to you again."

That should hopefully be enough.


"I don't approve of you." Nadaar spoke the words without preamble once he managed to bring himself over to talk. That took nearly an hour.

"A common sentiment." Harry acknowledged.

"You are not a night elf, your lifestyle is one of deviancy and you dabble with magic." The night elf continued without pause. "Short of being evil, you are everything I don't want in a son-in-law."

"I do a fair bit more than dabble." Harry objected.

"But my daughter is an adult, so I will respect her decisions."

"You asked her if she really wanted her children to be mongrels and got slapped for it, didn't you?" Harry grinned.

Nadaar visibly startled and looked at him with outrage. "Were you spying on our conversation?!"

"I've had many children of my own, so I understand your feelings."

That was stretching the truth a bit. He had certainly exploited racial tensions in the past, but had never particularly subscribed to the ideals of racial purity. In fact, when he had been young and foolish, he had ideas about a society where the strongest and smartest charted the course of the future, regardless of petty morphological differences.

What a miserable failure that had been. No amount of social engineering would prevent cliques from forming, and the smaller the differences they had to divide themselves by, the more psychotic they became as the cognitive dissonance ate away at their capacity to reason.

By the time that he had triggered his techno-magical apocalypse on Earth, Harry had already given up on the idea of exiling the stupid among humanity to the fringes of society and maintaining a stable core of rational, intelligent people. There simply weren't enough of those for the idea to be workable on a large scale.

So he had gone the other way and forced humanity apart, dividing them by racial lines, shared culture and common ancestry, creating external enemies instead of internal ones. Resetting the world via the death of billions made it easy to pull off in the aftermath, and each group had room to grow with humanity so depopulated. Not a perfect solution by any means, but it was better to have a dozen groups belligerent towards each other than a single chaotic clusterfuck tearing itself apart because humanity just couldn't live without fighting something.

Of course, nobody really knew that it was all by his design. No, they just saw the benevolent immortal wizard always willing to help any outcast groups set themselves up independently to get them away from any 'oppression'. Meanwhile, he had sat in his magical kingdom in the middle of the Atlantic and scooped up the best and brightest from all across the world, while at the same time using puppet leaders to push divisive dogma. Many a mouth had called interracial children mongrels at his direction.

It was a dirty business, politics. Azeroth was lucky in the sense that its many different peoples were truly of different race, instead of just subspecies of the same one. Well-meaning idiots like his young self would have very little to work with.

"Then why get involved with Jessir and Arko?" Nadaar asked, frowning heavily. "Why not stay with your own kind?"

"Our kind?" Harry repeated. "I'm afraid Luna and I have rather outgrown such notions. Don't worry about it too much – we'll make sure that Jessir is happy. That's what really matters to a parent, isn't it?"

Of course it was, but Nadaar clearly didn't believe having his daughter involved in multi-racial polygamy was the road to happiness.

Ah well, you can't win 'em all. Time would tell who was right. There was always the chance that Harry and Luna were overestimating their own ability to keep everyone happy, despite the experience they had in the matter.


The days passed without notable happenings. Jessir was surly over how their meeting with her father went for a while, but she settled down quickly enough. Sally Whitemane continued to be intractable, but Luna didn't lose confidence. The Alliance and Horde both worked hard to establish footholds on Outland, pointedly ignoring each other for the most part.

Harry spent most of that time in his time-dilated workshop, stretching a few weeks into several years. It was tedious, but he considered it important to be finished by the time that the diplomatic summit in Theramore came along.

Since he was the only one going, Luna, Jessir and Arko decided to go on a little tourist trip to the newly arrived Exodar on Azuremyst Isle off the western coast of Kalimdor. All three were very curious about the draenei and wanted to spend a few days relaxing before going back to helping cleanse the Felwood. Especially as they were planning to enter the Emerald Dream soon, and that was likely to be a more long term trip.

Colette elected to stay at the tower, for several reasons. One of them being that somebody had to keep an eye on Whitemane, the rambuctious Moonlight Dragonflight and answer the door. There was also the fact that she knew that the other three women were also definitely going to be having plenty of sex and she just wasn't interested if Harry wasn't part of the mix.

"What about this one?" Harry asked, turning around to show off the half-robe. It was a tastefully understated design of very dark blue with bronze highlights. It was less ostentatious than what a Kirin Tor archmage would wear, but still of obviously high quality.

He would have almost preferred to stay in armor the whole time, but diplomatic summits like the one Jaina was organizing could drag on for days or even weeks. Showing up in armor for the initial posturing was one thing, staying in it would be a blatant sign of mistrust.

"Very nice." Colette purred. Putting her hands on her waist and cocking her hip. "It makes me want to undress you."

Harry felt a familiar rush of blood southwards as he ran his eyes over her.

Colette had discovered tight leather, and was now wearing a pair of skintight black leather pants and a sleeveless black leather vest that displayed a lot of cleavage.

The creation of the Black Carapace allowed for a natural segue into leather fetish wear, such as skintight full body catsuits.

Harry had assigned Luna to act as 'encouragement' during Jessir's training one day and she had 'misinterpreted' it as instructions to 'punish' the huntress for failure and 'coincidentally' decided to really play up the role, showing up with a just such a catsuit and brandishing a riding crop. The entire episode had been set up as a test for Arko to gauge her reaction to the fetishistic dress outside of combat.

Alas, Arko showed no real interest in wearing skintight leather, which in hindsight was not that unusual given the night elf attitude towards clothing.

On the other hand, Colette had been interested and asked if she could get some leather casual wear, so it wasn't a total loss. Whether she personally liked the look or if she had noticed the ploy was ultimately irrelevant, because Harry got some hot eye candy either way.

"Hmm, I wonder if Jaina will feel the same?" He mused 'absently', taking the outfit off.

Anger and indignation flashed across Colette's face, so fast that he wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't paying attention. Heh, a stint in undeath might have cured the former death knight of petty jealousy, but she still had her pride as a woman and having him thinking about another when she was clearly flirting still got to her.

"She will refuse to comment, I'm sure." Colette replied with a chuckle, not a hint of snark in her tone. She did, however, turn her gaze towards the balcony and stare out into the distance.

Harry's left hand flashed out, grabbing her own left wrist, while his right cupped the back of her skull. Before her brain could switch gears from 'safely at home' to 'under attack', he swung her around and slammed her down on the oak dinner table.

"Harry?! What?!" Colette sputtered in surprise at the unexpected attack. With his hand on her hand and her hand twisted behind her back, she was thoroughly pinned.

"What did I say about repressing your emotions?" He purred, pressing his groin against her leather-clad rear and looming over her.

"I was just a little irritated." Colette's voice was turning breathy with arousal and she didn't even try to deny what she'd felt. This kind of aggression was exactly her kink.

"That kind of thing builds up if you let it." Harry asserted, now grinding against her. "If I don't do something about it now, it could become a wedge that splits our Battle Harem apart."

It was true, but it was also a perfect excuse to get rough with her. Long experience told him that roleplay was sexier if it made narrative sense.

"I understand." Colette accepted his reasoning way too quickly to be called anything except 'playing along'. Not to mention that her tone was lusty rather than contrite. "My apologies, I am still new to this."

"I know, that's why I can't take it easy on you." He murmured, letting go of her head and running his hand down her side until his hand rested on her hip. "You have to learn."

A quick spell created long ago to solve the problem of taking off tight clothing allowed him to yank down the skintight leather pants as if they were a pair of sweats, exposing her perfectly sculpted posterior.

Colette gasped at the sudden exposure. "T-this is absurd. Let me up!"

Her demand would have been more convincing if she wasn't nearly panting with arousal, and if he couldn't already see moisture gathering along her slit.

"You were the one who asked to join the team. That means playing by our rules." Harry rebuked, dropping his own pants. He had already taken the top off earlier, so it was the only thing he was wearing. "Did the Lordaeron army allow any fresh peasant that joined up to do as they pleased, or were they trained to conform to a certain standard of behavior?"

"You are equating our relationship to the military?" An incredulous giggle forced its way out of Colette's mouth, the notion apparently enough to make her break character.

"Why not?" He asked rhetorically. "A lack of discipline and unity can destroy us in exactly the same manner. And that's why I have to punish you, you understand?"

Colette chuckled again and relaxed in his hold. "If you say so. Very well, then. How will you 'punish' me?"

The wiggling of her hips made it clear what she expected.

Harry chuckled as well, much more ominously. The lack of verbal reply made her instinctively tense back up, but she didn't have the leverage to do anything more than that. "Oh, I have my ways."

From his hammerspace, a tube materialized in his free hand. It looked pretty much identical to a tube of toothpaste, glue, mayonnaise or what have you, save for one part. The orifice was oblong, rounded and just generally ergonomic, all the better to not damage any other orifices.

Harry held it vertically up and squeezed, allowing the lubricant within to spill over and coat the oval exit.

"What is that?" Colette asked, unable to get a good look at it.

"Nothing to worry about." He assured, angling it towards the tight ring of her anus. "Just relax."

Of course, she did the exact opposite as soon as she felt the slimy object pushing into her.

"Harry!" She yelped, now trying to wiggle out of his grip more vigorously. Without any leverage, though, there wasn't much she could do. "Wrong hole!"

"I have to get going soon, so I can't take my time teaching you a lesson about hiding things from me." He replied calmly, squeezing the tube and filling up her bowels with the lubricant. "That's why I have to make it memorable."

As if he hadn't always been planning on introducing her to anal. He hadn't gone to all that effort making that orifice so stretchy and responsive only to not make use of it after all, but a little justification could go a long way.

"I can hear you grinning, you pervert." Colette retorted, voice a little strained.

"That's because I'm going to enjoy this." Harry admitted easily, stashing the lubricant back into hammerspace and angling his member at her tightly clenched anus.

Her clenching was futile with how lubricated she was and he pushed through easily, at least for the first inch or so. After that, his own lack of lubrication meant that he had to pull back out and try again, working himself just a little bit deeper every time.

"Just get it over with already." Colette groaned, squirming under him helplessly.

"Well, if you insist." Harry chuckled and rammed himself forward with all his strength.

Colette screamed, more in surprise and pleasure than any kind of pain.

"I didn't think… you would actually do it." She admitted with a gasp. Her bowels slowly unclehcned from around his intruding length.

"You should know… that there isn't… much I won't… do!" Harry replied, pulling out and then slamming back in every few words.

Colette didn't reply aside from a strangled groan of pleasure with every thrust. She was obviously trying to keep her vocalizations down so as to not let on just how much she was enjoying it.

"It's no use hiding." Harry told her, keeping himself buried in her rectum up to the hilt and circling his hips to stir up her insides. "I made that body of yours, so I know exactly how slutty it is."

"I suppose I should have known better than to make bargains with a wizard." She grunted, trying to wiggle about.

"You say that as if you don't love having my cock buried in your bowels." Harry chuckled, pulling back and slamming back in. "And now I'm going to keep fucking this tight hole of yours until you admit it."

"Do your worst!" She taunted.

He sped up his pace, gradually at first but then going faster and faster until he was going at her with enough speed and force to have caused serious damage to anyone with a normal body. Colette tried to keep her breathing steady, but the constant thrusts and building pleasure took their toll on her composure.

Harry kept his own climax held in check, but she had no such self-control. Colette screamed as the relentless pounding drove her over the edge, fluids spraying from her neglected womanhood, but he didn't even slow down nor otherwise acknowledge her orgasm.

"S-s-stop!" Colette gasped out, shuddering under him from a climax that she wasn't being allowed to recover from.

"Not until I hear you begging to have your guts filled with my cum." He growled, his voice strained from the focus required to keep his climax dammed up.

Colette clammed up again, stubbornly resisting, so he slapped her across one butt cheek and then the other a few seconds later.

"I can keep this up for as long as I need to." Harry growled out, continuing to spank her every so often.

But Colette was made of sterner stuff than the average woman and grit her teeth instead of breaking. "Maybe, but how are you going to explain to Jaina that you were late because you were busy fucking my ass?"

"I'd just tell the truth." Harry spanked her again. "But you do have a point, I wouldn't want to come off as unreliable."

He stopped thrusting for a moment, placing the fingers of his right hand along the base of her skull.

Colette thought that he had given up and took a deep breath, smirking. "I will be ready to handle all that pent up tension when you come back."

"Haha, no." Harry chuckled darkly. "I said I would leave you with a memorable reminder of why you shouldn't hide things from me, and that's what I'll do."

With that, he accessed her body's nervous system and dialed the pleasure response way up. Her nerves were still working at the same intensity as before, but the brain sent a completely disproportionate response back.

Harry resumed thrusting, this time at a more sedate pace, but Colette experienced another orgasm almost immediately. And then another after that.

"T-that's cheating!" She managed to gasp out in between her fourth and fifth orgasm.

Harry had by this point released her arm and was using both hands to grip her hips. It's not like she could muster the strength to leverage herself off the table anymore.

"Yes, I am." He admitted shamelessly. "And I won't stop until I hear you begging or I fuck you unconscious."

Colette lasted for another six orgasms before her resolve broke.

"P-please!" She rasped. "Fill my ass… with your cum!"

"Good girl!" He praised and slammed forward one last time before letting go.

Colette screamed and thrashed as she was filled up, the engineered response of her body to a semen injection being magnified by his earlier alteration to her nervous system. It was too much. After a few seconds of overwhelming pleasure blanking out her thoughts, her eyes rolled up and she slumped unconscious on the table.

"Whoops." Harry muttered, pulling out once he was done. "Got a bit carried away there."

Even if he'd designed the brains on this most recent generation of artificial bodies to not get hooked on addictive substances, such as certain pleasure hormones, that kind of pleasure overload could still form problematic neural connections. He'd have to give her a check up to see how she was handling it once he came back from Theramore.

Now, at this point, he could have carried her with him to the bathroom since he needed to take another quick shower before leaving anyway…

… But it would be a lot funnier to stuff a cursed buttplug that only he could remove up her bum and leave her to find it when she woke up in a few minutes, after he was safely already away.


Bonus scene that I couldn't fit anywhere else in the chapter.

"Where is Luna?" Arko asked, mildly puzzled.

The four of them were in the training room, naked as the day they were born aside from their weapons. Colette was the only one showing any kind of discomfort at the nudity, but was gamely ignoring it.

"And why are we naked?" The woman in question asked.

"Two reasons." Harry decided to answer her first. "The first is that you never know when you might need to fight in the nude, the second is that it'll be easier to start the fun afterwards. As for Luna… she said that she had to go get ready."

That was a prevarication. Harry had been the one to tell Luna what to do and was just playing a part.

The priestess of Elune walked into the room about a minute later… wearing a skintight leather catsuit and totting a riding crop.

"Huh, I guess you're really getting into the role." Harry said into the ensuing silence, pretending that he hadn't set it all up.

"What role?" Jessir asked, bewildered. "Aren't we going to be training?"

"I'm the distraction!" Luna chirped, slapping the riding crop against her palm. "And the encouragement."

"Right." Harry nodded firmly. "Jessir, you're going to be running around and firing arrows at Arko and Colette while doing so. Luna will be whipping your sexy little butt to distract and encourage you, as she said. Arko and Colette, you're going to be dodging and parrying both her arrows and my spells. Any questions?"

He kept the girls in his peripheral vision while he drank in the sight of his wife in tight leather. You really couldn't go wrong with tight leather.

To his disappointment, Arko didn't look like she was at all interested in wearing something similar. Damn night elf cultural norms! With their lack of body shame, nudity taboos and their women being the more aggressive gender, kinky fetish outfits just didn't have the same psychological impact.

At least Colette looked like she was considering something.


OMAKE – Too angry to die.

Sally Whitemane oofed as she was launched out of the dimensional portal.

When I get my hands on that accursed wizard… she seethed to herself, taking stock of her surroundings. It was a strange, all-metal room of an unfamiliar design. The letters 'UAC' featured prominently on the walls.

After months of her ridiculous attempts at kindness failed, Luna had gone to Harry and asked him to send her to somewhere that she could be happy.

The two of them had completely ignored Sally's demands to be returned to the Scarlet Crusade, using words like 'pain in the butt', 'complication', 'problem child', 'disaster waiting to happen' and others. So now here she was, in some other universe all by herself.

At least they had returned her gear to her.

A bestial roar drew her attention and what could only be a demon dropped down from the ceiling.

It lobbed a slow fireball at her that Sally dodged with contempt. Readying her staff, she called upon the Holy Light.

"Foul demon, my righteousness burns the brighter!" She spat as the purifying energies ravaged the creature.

More demons were drawn to the commotion. The fireball throwers, strange pink things, possessed humans…

Sally prepared to fight for her life, but then another thing happened. A human in green armor and wielding strange weapons that reminded her of the flintlock guns used by the dwarves thundered into the room. He didn't pause for a second, charging towards the demons with a palpable fury.

Sally aided him gleefully. She might not know him, but she knew a man on a vengeful crusade when she saw one. Besides, it would be nice to have an ally in this mess that she had been dropped in.

With their combined efforts, the demons were swiftly slain and Sally sauntered up to the green-armored warrior.

"You fight well, champion." She complimented. "Did the wizard throw you here as well?"

The warrior stared at her silently for a while, then grunted and continued on.

"Hey, wait for me!" Sally called out, trotting after him.

Clearly, he would not be delayed from his crusade. That was fine, he seemed like a man that got things done and it was a good a way as any to find a way back home.

And thus did the legions of Hell despair at having to deal with two people who were too angry to die.


Riddle me this, Batman. Did I choose the chapter title because of the anal scene, or did I write the anal scene specifically to reference the chapter title?