Beta: Cloudy


Rosie, age 5

EMPs were not overly difficult to make. Anyone could make them, really. They required lithium batteries, wires, extra metal, a disposable camera, soldering experience, and time. In high school I took four years of engineering classes under PLTW and for my final project I made an assortment of EMP timed traps and a small bot programmed to escape a maze without running into the EMP traps. It took all of my senior year, and a lot of help from my teacher, but I got the hang of it.

After confirming, and reaffirming, that I could use technology under the wards (but at the very edge, and not inside the heavily magicked cottage), I set about creating a makeshift treehouse to use as my workshop. I needed a safe place to create several dozen EMPs for the first step of my plan.

Plus I always wanted a treehouse.

It didn't take much asking for Sirius to get some wood and make a treehouse for me within a day. It did take a little arguing on my part for him to not put any enchantments inside the treehouse, but he relented soon enough.

It was a small, cute little thing. He built a ladder into one of the few large oak trees in our front yard and put together a small house-looking abode. It was big enough to accommodate children, but once I hit puberty I would have to squat and crawl around to get around the room. He put in a couple of tables, and we brought out an abundance of blankets and pillows and anti-flame-spreading candles.

Harry adored the treehouse, and he frequently went up there to read his beloved books. Sirius, thankfully, consented to our rule that no adults would be allowed inside the treehouse, and when the two of us went up, he would pull out the radio and sit outside listening to our laughter, and the music. Despite being a man child, Sirius was loath to let us out of his sight completely while sober.

After obtaining the treehouse, I had to get the supplies to create an EMP. The hardware store had everything I needed, and thankfully Kreacher was more than capable of obtaining the items discreetly and dropping them off in my treehouse. I also had Kreacher pick up leather gloves, as a precaution against forensic evidence.

Then, it was time to create.

I headed up into the treehouse in the early morning, Harry quietly following behind me and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

He had another nightmare, that night, and had crawled into my bed. I didn't particularly want him to see what I was making, but it wasn't such a big deal that I felt the need to hide it. Harry was good at keeping secrets, and if I asked him not to tell anyone else, he wouldn't.

We crawled into the treehouse, and the candles flickered alive upon us entering. Harry immediately went to his corner of pillows and blankets and flopped down. I pulled up a tiny chair to the bench and dumped out the supplies from the first bag Kreacher placed upon the bench. I rummaged through everything before I pulled out the soldering gun and numerous battery packs. I would need to use quite a few of the batteries to power the soldering gun since we had no electrical outlets.

I set to work creating the first EMP. The process took nearly two and a half hours (because I had to be meticulous, and double-check everything. It would become faster after practice, but for now, it was slow-going.

Harry stopped reading his book after I finished the first EMP and looked over at what I created. "What's that, Rosie?"

"Secret," I told him. "Can you keep it a secret?"

"Yeah," Harry said firmly, nodding his head as his eyes grew wide. "What is it?"

"An EMP. It disrupts electricity."

"What's that?"

"It's what Muggles use in place of magic."

"Why do you need that?"

"To help keep the Statute of Secrecy."


I turned around and pinched his nose. "Ask me when you're older."

Harry's nose crinkled in distaste, but he did not ask further. He was always such a good boy.

"Kids?" We popped our heads out of the treehouse's window as Sirius stepped outside the backdoor.

Harry grinned and waved. "Up here, Uncle Paddy!"

Sirius waved back, smiling at us. "Want some breakfast?"

Harry nodded eagerly and dropped from the tree house hole onto the thick grass below.


Later that night

The night sky was beautiful.

London at night was a treat unlike I had seen before. I had flown over cities in my past life, but nothing so glamorous or sparkling like London. The night was a tint of dark blue, and the lights of London a sparkling warm yellow. Soaring above it felt like a cinematic experience.

I was so glad I snuck out. Even if my mission failed, the view alone was worth it.

Now, my immediate first threat was: Would the wards notice if I was leaving?

One night when Sirius was having a bad day, he drank away all the whiskey while Harry and I were supposedly asleep. Once properly intoxicated I started asking him about the wards. It was hard to discern some of his answers, but Kreacher helped translate. Apparently House Elves could speak drunk.

The strongest ward available to homes was a Fidelius, following that were blood wards. Both of which were not available to us for one reason or another. That left high powered layered wards that most noble homes had.

A home could either detect what was coming in, or what was coming out. Doing both would cause instability in the setup, and the wards would collapse on each other within a year.

So, no.

That being said, the next question is: Would the wards notice if I entered them?

Only if I was an unexpected guest. Wards did not trigger, or alert the Lord of the Home if people of the same household were coming and going. Harry and I were both registered to the wards.

This was required because the wards would detect if Harry and I were near malicious intent, or hurt. Such wards only worked on those keyed into the home wards.


After twenty minutes of flying I arrived at the V&A Museum.

I had been studying the blueprint Kreacher made of it for the past month, and now it was time to act.

I didn't need the EMPs. All I needed was the cloak of invisibility, a broom, and the spells: Wingardium Leviosa, Silencio, and Alohomora down pat. I had spent the past three years perfecting the past three spells to the best of my ability. I could perform them without the wand, but it took great concentration, and unfortunately I still needed to speak them and move my finger like a wand.

The EMPs were to provide an explanation as to why the security cameras didn't work. I would activate the EMPs when I reached the goal, and in the thirty seconds it took for security to notice the error and call the police, I would grab as many of the items I could under the cloak and into the expandable pouch. Whatever was too heavy to lift by hand I would levitate.

With the camera's down, they wouldn't see the theft, and the Statue of Secrecy wouldn't be overtly violated. While they swarmed the place, I would hide in a corner on my broom under the cloak. Even if Aurors came (I couldn't discount that I could trigger an accidental magic alert even without my wand. I wasn't sure how the Ministry tracked accidental magic-if perhaps small and intentional acts did not trigger it, or…), the cloak was far too powerful and would hide me from them unless Mad-Eye Moody came out of retirement suddenly. When the opportunity arose I would make my escape and return home.

I had to place the EMPs around the museum—even in parts that I wouldn't go to—and set the timer on them to trigger in ten minutes after placing them.

It wasn't a lot of them, but I figured this would have to be fast.

If all else failed, I had the emergency portkey Sirius gave each of us. I hoped not to use it—because it was a one-time use, and explaining to Sirius why I had to use a portkey would be tricky. But, it was there.

I descended upon the V&A museum in London, adrenaline, and anxiety chorusing through me.

A part of me was thrilled—I'm a thief! I'm stealing!

In my previous life, I would have never considered it. Daring to do anything outside the neat lines Mother had drawn for me warranted time in the closet and missed dinners. I hadn't even shoplifted before, yet here I was about to commit numerous illegal acts for the sake of a plan that I wasn't even sure would work.

But, I needed the money. I needed the money and power fast if I wanted to do the things I needed to do. I couldn't access the Potter vault any time soon; nor was I talented enough to steal from Death Eaters (as I planned to do later). All I had was my previous life's knowledge of technology, and magic at my disposal.

And an undeniable urge to have no regrets this time around.

At least I could hopefully cross off Become an Art Thief off my bucket list after tonight.

I hovered before the back door of the museum before I raised my finger and went through the motions of Alohomora. It took three tries, but I finally got it and the door swung open. Then, moving as quickly as I could, I began to place the EMPs around each corner. I flew around the patrolling guards, and none of them noticed.

When I reached my goal: the crown jewelry room (filled with old royal crowns, uncut diamonds, and other precious jewels, as well as antique and priceless jewels). I pulled out completely ordinary rocks from my expandable pouch and took a deep breath.

1986: before the bullet-proof glass was implemented in all museums, and perfect computer security.

My timer for the EMPs went off and I threw as many rocks as I could at the cases. I urged my broom forward, grabbing what I could and stuffing it into the expandable pouch, while levitating what was too far away towards me with my other hand. I heard shouts, as security officers sprinted through the hallways.

"Security is down! I can't call for backup?!"

"We must have intruders, someone get the police!"

"Phones are down!"

When an officer came into the room I was in, I stopped everything, pulled the cloak tighter around me and began to make my escape. Thankfully, the EMPs worked a bit too well and prevented the gates from coming down.

I was out the backdoor and soaring through the night sky again.


Returning home was a... quiet affair.

Except for the fact that Kreacher 100% caught me, but that was to be expected. I knew going in this would be a difficult thing to hide from the House Elf. It's why I didn't bother.

Kreacher was never going to be fond of Sirius, and the feeling was mutual.

But he was a teeny bit fond of me. Primarily because I assisted him in completing Regulus's last order to him, and secondly because I treated him dearly.

"Welcome home, young mistress," Kreacher greeted me.

"Thank you, Kreacher," I whispered, hopping onto the balcony of my bedroom. I pulled out the sack of stolen goods. "There are precious artifacts I stole from the Muggle museum. Will you be able to pawn them off?"

I had already discussed it ahead of time with Kreacher. He assured me he could complete the order—it was not the first time the Black elf had to deal with stolen / illegal goods. Primarily in purchasing them, but he knew who to sell them to.

Kreacher's gnobbly fingers grasped around the bag as he said, "Yes, mistress."

"Thank you, my dear."

Kreacher's ears wobbled happily.

I honestly thought it was pretty cute.


Bucket List Completed:

5. Become a badass thief and make shit tons of money


Answer: McGonagall.

Question: Would you rather be reborn in a dark!pureblood family, neutral!pureblood family, good!pureblood family, as a muggleborn, or muggleborn!family, or something else entirely?

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