GRAVITY FALLS - MANY YEARS IN THE FUTURE
Of all the major holidays, there were none that the citizens of Gravity Falls loved more than Halloween. And that was no less true for our beloved Pines family, who were all at home on this hallowed night getting their costumes on as the young ones prepared to go trick-or-treating.
Down the stairs and into the living room came the Pines family matriarch Pacifica, looking ravishing as always as she wore a homemade, somewhat revealing Amazon warrior costume, complete with a fashionable tooth necklace, stone pearl earrings and fake tribal tattoos. "Kids, are you almost ready? Your Aunt Mabel's gonna be here any minute!" she called up the stairs.
"Almost ready, Mom!" the voice of a child replied. "Just a little longer!"
At that moment, her husband Dipper came into the room from the kitchen wearing a nineteenth century explorer's outfit, complete with a monocle and pith helmet. But the thing that spoiled the aesthetic was the smart phone he was carrying to record his family.
"Here we are. Halloween night and everybody's excited to go trick-or-treating," Dipper narrated, bringing the phone over to get a shot of his wife in her costume. "Here we have the lovely Mrs. Pacifica Pines, aka Mom, in her stunning homemade Amazon warrior outfit." Pacifica smiled at her husband and struck a glamour pose for the camera.
"Thank you, honey. You're looking pretty cute yourself in that Dr. Living Wage outfit," she said, trying to return the compliment, but also mis-identifying the costume's origin.
"It's Dr. Livingstone, Pacifica. Famous nineteenth century explorer? Coined the phrase 'Dr. Livingstone, I presume?' " Dipper corrected.
"Oh, right. Sorry," Pacifica apologized with a giggle. "But seriously, you do look really handsome."
"Thanks," Dipper gladly accepted the compliment that time. "Kids, hurry up! We wanna see your costumes!" he called up the stairs.
"Alright! We're coming!"
That's when the firstborn of Dipper and Pacifica's kids descended the stairs. Zoe Juniper Pines, 10 years old, was dressed in a high-fantasy-style elf costume, which included a cape, fake pointy ears and a plastic sword. When she saw her dad was recording, she lifted her sword into the air in a heroic pose. "First up, we have Zoe looking very strong and heroic in her costume inspired by Faeba the Elfin Princess!" Dipper narrated again.
"Warrior princess, Dad," the girl corrected.
"Right, of course, sorry. Elfin Warrior Princess," her dad replied.
Pacifica gave her husband a slightly smug look. "See? I'm not the only one who gets things wrong, am I?" she said, rubbing in his mistake.
Dipper blushed and smiled awkwardly before the voice of his next kid made him turn back to the stairs. "AWOOOOOO!" howled their 8-year-old son, Tyrone Stanford Pines, from the top of the staircase. The howl was only partially fitting, however, because while his arms and most of his face were clearly werewolf-inspired, his torso, legs and part of his face were obviously more robot-like. Regardless, he hurried down the stairs to join his sister and parents.
"Okay. Next is Tyrone dressed as a, uh… umm… what are you supposed to be again?" his dad asked in confusion.
"I'm a cyborg wolfman on roller-skates," the boy explained. "I just haven't put the skates on yet."
"He couldn't decide on one costume, so he went with all of them," Zoe explained further, only slightly amused by her brother's ridiculous choice of costume.
"You can't ask me to stifle my creativity," Tyrone defended himself.
Just then, the youngest of the Pines kids toddled down the stairs. Stanley Alexander Pines, 4 years old, was dressed in an adorable purple seal ones-y, which he seemed pretty happy with. "And last but not least, here's little Stanley dressed in the cutest little seal costume you've ever seen," said Dipper. The toddler looked so adorable that his mother couldn't help but pick him up and hug him and give him a kiss on the face. His older siblings giggled at their mom smothering him before she finally set him back down. "So, Stanley, are you excited to go trick-or-treating with your brother and sister?" Dipper asked his younger son.
"Yeah, Daddy," Stanley responded with a meek expression. Stanley was the most timid of the three kids, always too shy to really even say much. But that didn't stop his parents from trying to coax him out of his shell every now and then.
"Do you like your seal costume, sweetie?" asked Pacifica.
"Yeah, Mommy. It's great."
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. "Oh! I wonder who that could be," Dipper said playfully as he went to open the door, knowing full well who it was. Sure enough, once he opened the door, his sister Mabel was there wearing a dragonfly costume with long plastic wings and thick bug-eyed glasses.
"Happy Halloween, fam! What's the buzz around here?!" Mabel greeted her family enthusiastically.
"Hi, Aunt Mabel." The kids all went to greet their aunt as she gave each of them a big hug.
"Who's ready for a night of awesome trick-or-treating?" Mabel asked her niece and nephews.
"I'm gonna get so much candy that I puke for a week!" Tyrone declared.
"Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna get so much candy that they'll have to replace all my teeth with gold!" Zoe challenged back.
"Well then, it's a good thing I brought… these!" Mabel pulled out three huge candy buckets and handed one to each of the kids. Zoe's was shaped like a bat, Tyrone's was shaped like Frankenstein's head, and Stanley's was shaped like a little ghost.
As the kids were all admiring their new buckets, Mabel stepped over to her brother and sister-in-law (or as she called her, her 'Sista from another Mista'). "Hey guys. How's it hanging?" she greeted them before fully taking notice of Pacifica's outfit. "Whoa-ho! Check you out, Pacifica. You are rocking that whole jungle woman look," she praised, which the blonde happily accepted. "I'm surprised you're so comfortable wearing something like that in front of your kids."
"Oh please. It's not like they've never seen me in a bikini on the beach before," Pacifica reasoned.
"Thanks for agreeing to take the kids out tonight, Mabel," said Dipper.
"Are you kidding? I'd do anything to hang out with these little munchkins."
"Don't forget to have them back before eight-thirty, okay?" Pacifica reminded her.
"Don't worry about it. I will," Mabel insisted. "You two just enjoy your night alone and leave everything to your dear old Mabel. Alright, guys, who's ready to get some candy?!"
The kids all cheered and headed for the door as Mabel returned to join them. "Why aren't Mommy and Daddy coming with us?" Stanley asked.
"Oh, they have to stay here in case other kids come to your house to trick-or-treat," Mabel explained. "Now come on. The sooner we get going, the more candy we can get."
The kids followed their aunt out of the house as their parents waved them goodbye and wished them a fun night. The door closed and now, Pacifica and Dipper were all alone. Now that the kids were all gone, it was time for the parents to celebrate Halloween their way. With a little magic.
Because when Pacifica snapped her fingers, something incredible happened. Several candles, at least a dozen, appeared out of nowhere, hovering in mid-air.
You see, unbeknownst to most people, Pacifica… was a witch! With the ability to cast magic spells whenever she wanted. The only ones who knew were Dipper, Mabel and her own parents. In fact, she came from an entire family of witches, which was part of what had helped the Northwests become so wealthy and socially powerful. She had told Dipper and Mabel of her powers a long time ago before she and Dipper had gotten married. They both thought it was amazing, with Mabel always asking to see some cool new magic trick, and Dipper loved being married to a witch because it meant that there was always a chance for something magical and phenomenal to happen when she was around. It also meant that she always had a way to spice things up. Things like a romantic night in on Halloween while the kids were off trick-or-treating.
Pacifica used her magic to levitate the candles into various positions around the living room. Once they were all situated, Dipper turned out the lights as Pacifica clapped her hands twice to make the candles magically light all at once. Then she sashayed over to the couch and took a seat, where she blew a magical kiss to her husband that lifted him off the ground and floated him gently over to the sofa to join her. He always loved it when she did things like that.
"Are we ever gonna tell the kids that you're a witch?" Dipper asked his wife, still a little concerned about keeping something this important a secret from their children.
"Believe me, I'd like to someday. It's just that I don't know how they'd take it," Pacifica regretfully explained. "I'm kind of waiting to see if they show any signs of having powers of their own. Then I could be there for them to guide them through it and teach them how to use their magic. Otherwise, I'd rather not get their hopes up until I knew for sure."
"I understand," Dipper admitted. "Now then, shall we get started? I left us a very romantic snack tray waiting in the kitchen," he said to change the subject.
"Ooh. Why didn't you say so?" Pacifica snapped her fingers again and the snack tray instantly teleported onto the coffee table in front of them. There were deviled eggs arranged in a perfect circle and a bowl of Cheez-Its in the center. "Oooh! Deviled eggs and Cheez-Its. How thoughtful." Dipper new that these were Pacifica's favorite snacks. And the outfit she was wearing right now was perfect for playing one of their favorite bedroom games.
"Hey Pacifica. You wanna play?" he asked, grabbing one of the crackers from the tray.
"Of course." The blonde woman smiled and bent forward, giving her husband a clear shot at her very deep cleavage. "Take your best shot."
Dipper took his aim and tossed the cracker straight at his wife's chest. It bounced back and forth from one breast to the other for a few seconds before finally sliding down into the deep crevice in-between. "Yes!" Dipper celebrated his winning shot with a fist pump.
"Good job," Pacifica congratulated him. "But can you do it again?"
Dipper accepted her challenge as he continued to hock tiny square crackers at his wife's very generous bosom. Some of them went directly into her cleavage, some just barely made it in and others didn't go in at all. Dipper commented on the first one to miss. "That one didn't go in. It just impacted on the surface," he said.
After a little while, the couple decided to move on from that game and try some of the deviled eggs instead. They each took a bite from one and savored the delicious taste. "Mmm. These are so good," Pacifica said in praise of her husband's cooking.
"Thanks," he replied. "Could probably use a little pepper though." Dipper reached over, grabbed the pepper shaker from the table and started shaking pepper onto his hors d'oeuvre. But he shook it too hard and the excess pepper floated over in Pacifica's direction.
"Hey, take it easy on the pepper, okay? It's getting in my nose," Pacifica complained, rubbing her nose as the black spice irritated her sinuses. She could feel a sneeze building up as her breath started to hitch. "Ah… Ah… Ahh… ACHOOOO!"
Unfortunately, Pacifica's sneeze released a spark of magic that surrounded her husband and created a flash of light that seemed to make him disappear. At first, Pacifica couldn't see him anywhere and started to worry about what could've happened to him, until she looked down and spotted her husband still sitting on the couch. At roughly the size of a small mouse!
"Oh my gosh! Dipper! Are you alright?" she said with a gasp.
"Don't worry, Pacifica. I'm fine," he assured her. This was hardly the first time her magic had gone haywire and affected him in some bizarre way. He had certainly experienced stranger things as a result, so a little shrinkage hardly even fazed him. "Also, gesundheit."
The blonde witch gazed down at her husband sheepishly. "I'm so sorry," she apologized.
"Don't be. It was my fault. I should've known better than to use so much pepper around you. Besides, this is still better than the time you accidentally turned me into an oyster."
Both of them had a good laugh as they remembered that little mishap. That laughter helped to put Pacifica more at ease about the situation. "Well, unfortunately, I don't think I can grow you back to normal without my staff," she informed him regretfully.
Magic spells came in three different levels. First, there were easiest ones that could be cast with the simplest of body movements. A snap of the fingers, a wink of the eye, a twitch of the nose, or in this case, a sneeze. Stronger ones required the use of a magic staff, which was handcrafted by the witch themselves from the branch of a sacred tree. The most powerful spells of all could only be cast by a magic potion brewed in a witch's own personal cauldron. Luckily, Pacifica kept her own staff and cauldron hidden somewhere in the house so that the kids wouldn't find them.
"That's okay. This really isn't so bad," Dipper told her. "In fact, maybe we could enjoy it for a little while?"
"Well, I guess if you really want to, but how?"
"Well… you are dressed like an Amazon woman and I'm dressed like an explorer, so maybe…"
Dipper trailed off, allowing his wife to pick up was he was laying down, which caused her to grow sly smirk on her face. "Oh, so you like big girls, do you?" she questioned with a frisky tone in her voice. "Okay, little man. Let's have some fun~"
"Deep in the Amazon Rainforest, world-famous explorer Dipper Pines searches far and wide for the legendary Queen of the Amazon Warriors!"
As part of their roleplaying game, Dipper pretended to sneak around the living room, trudging through the threads of the carpet and climbing up the legs of the coffee table like tree trunks, narrating his little "exploration" as he went. "The Amazons are said to be a race of towering giant women. If I don't want to end up flattened under one of their heels like a pancake, I'd better pray that I find them before they find me." Just then, he heard the booming sound of giant footsteps approaching him. "Holy smokes! Giant footsteps. That can only mean one thing."
Suddenly, Pacifica stepped out from behind the couch, or rather stomped out as she was heavily stomping her feet on the floor to make her footsteps more menacing. Dipper gazed up at her gigantic form in wonder and amazement. "Great Gatsby! It's her! The Amazon Queen!" he exclaimed in astonishment. Just then, her threatening eyes turned downward and fixated on him. "Oh no! She's spotted me!" The colossal "Amazon Queen" stomped over to the tiny man, reached down and plucked him from his hiding spot, lifting him up to her eye level by the thread of his shirt.
"Tiny human man!" she said in a thunderous voice. "You are trespassing on the sacred land of the Amazons. The penalty… is death!"
"Oh please, oh mighty Queen of the Amazons! Please have mercy!" Dipper begged. "I promise I meant no harm! I beg of you, please spare me!"
The giant queen thought it over. "Hmm. Well, very well. Seeing as this is your first offense, I will grant you mercy."
"Oh, thank you, your majesty! Thank you!"
"IF… you agree to spend the night with me," she clarified with a suggestive smile. "I must admit, for one so small, you are extremely handsome."
"Why, thank you, your majesty. It would be my honor and my pleasure to keep such a beautiful and imposing matriarch as yourself company tonight," the man agreed, making the giant smile even more.
Pacifica and Dipper returned to the couch, where Pacifica sprawled herself out while still holding her shrunken husband over her face. "In recognition of your overwhelming and welcome praise, your queen decrees that you shall be rewarded two-fold," Pacifica declared. "First, with a royal kiss upon your adorable face." The gigantic queen pulled Dipper in and planted a great big smooch on his face with her massive lips, which he greatly enjoyed. "And second, with a night in the Valley of Pleasure." Pacifica then lowered Dipper down and placed him gently in-between her enormous boobs. It was like he had died and gone to Heaven.
For a long time, the two of them just lied there together, enjoying each other's company in the peace and quiet of their own home. But after a while, Pacifica spoke up. "I wonder how the kids are doing," she said.
"I'm sure they're having a great time," Dipper answered. "Their buckets are probably overflowing with candy by now."
"Yeah, but I was just thinking, why should we be the only ones who get to have a magical Halloween? After all, Halloween is when a witch's power is at its strongest. Maybe I could use my powers to stir up a special Halloween treat just for the kids. And the rest of the neighborhood while I'm at it."
Dipper was surprised. What his wife was suggesting would probably require some pretty powerful magic. "What exactly did you have in mind?" he asked.
Pacifica thought for a moment and then an idea hit her. "I've got just the thing," she exclaimed, "but we're gonna need some assistance."
The basement was where Pacifica kept all of her witchy supplies. Her spell book, her collection of potion ingredients, her magic staff, which she had hand-carved herself with a wooden bat totem on the end, and her magic cauldron, which had been passed down in her family for generations. She kept all of these things locked away in a trunk in the back corner of the basement with a magical combination that only she knew. That way, she could be sure that no one, especially not her children, could open it and discover her magical possessions.
Right now, though, she was about to use these objects to create a spell that would give her kids and the rest of the neighborhood their most memorable Halloween ever. First, she had to fill the cauldron up with water. Then, she went to her collection and pulled out a bottle of glowing green liquid labeled "Witch's Oil" and poured a dose of it into the cauldron. All magic potions started with witch's oil.
"So what else do we need for this potion?" asked Dipper, still nestled between his wife's breasts. Pacifica consulted the spell book.
"Let's see. A dash of milk chocolate to keep it sweet."
"Oh! I think there's one of those in here." The tiny man ducked down into his wife's cleavage and rummaged around for a minute, which made her giggle as it tickled a bit. "Ah-ha!" he exclaimed as he popped back out holding a mini fun-sized candy bar that had been tossed in there earlier that day.
"Perfect! Aren't you a fine little assistant," Pacifica praised, making him blush with gratitude. She unwrapped mini chocolate bar and dropped it in the liquid vat. "Three cups of ectoplasm. Two cups of pumpkin fiber. And three cups of Heart of Rock 'n Roll to get the right rhythm." As she read off the ingredients allowed, she levitated them towards her and continued adding them to the mixture according to the recipe. "And finally, a strand of my own hair so they'll know whose kids to look for." The blonde witch plucked a hair from her head and dropped it in. With the addition of her hair, the potion was complete. Now all she had to do was mix it together with her staff and recite the magic words.
"I call upon this nightly hour,
To take this brew and give it power.
With staff in hand and cauldron bright,
I summon spooky childhood delights!"
As Pacifica recited the spell out loud, the eyes of the bat on her staff started to glow along with the potion itself. The potion bubbled in the cauldron and then, like a volcano, erupted through the house and into the sky, creating a massive cloud of magic smoke.
"I sure hope the kids enjoy your little surprise," said Dipper.
"Oh, don't worry. I just know they're gonna love it," Pacifica said with confidence.
Out in the neighborhood, it was just starting to get dark as the Pines kids and their aunt were coming close to the end of their candy-gathering excursion. Just as their father had predicted, each of their buckets was practically filled to the brim with delicious sugary treats. But as they were about to find out, they were in for the biggest treat of all.
Suddenly, a mysterious fog rolled in and the sound of early 2000s pop music filled the air. The kids were all very confused by this, but the weirdest part was when several streams of smoke descended from the sky straight towards them. When they got close enough, the smoke streams took the forms of various cute and wacky Halloween-type creatures. Ghosts, bats, skeletons and jack-o-lanterns with twiggy little arms and legs all surrounded them, jumping and flying around and laughing maniacally. The kids were all scared at first as they huddled close to their aunt for safety, until one ghost appeared in front of them and spoke to them in a female voice.
"Zoe, Tyrone and Stanley Pines?" she asked, to which they all nodded nervously in response. "Don't be scared, kiddies. We've been sent to treat you to a very special neighborhood Halloween party that you'll never forget. So what do you say? You ready to have some fun?"
The kids were still a little unsure, but a Halloween party just for them did sound like fun and these creatures didn't seem to be attacking them, so they agreed to go along with it. Even Mabel was on board, as she had a pretty good idea of who was behind this little surprise.
"Then follow us and let's get this neighborhood jumpin'!" the ghost said as she and the other goofy ghouls headed down the street with the Pines' following them. That's when the ghosts started singing.
"There's a chill in the air.
(Chill in the air)
You hear a creek on the stair.
(Creek on the stairs)
You got a knock on your door.
(Knock on your door)
Is there anybody out there?
As they went along, other kids on the street started to join in. Some came out of their houses to get in on the fun.
"They're out to get you to capture you and make you...
Howling and prowling, you're shivering, quivering...
That's when things really picked up as the creatures turned their main attention back to the Pines kids, each singing a different line of the chorus.
Ghosts: "You cannot run! And you cannot hide!"
Bats: "Yeah, you've gotta face it baby, things go bump in the night!"
Pumpkins: "Wherever you run and wherever you hide!"
Skeletons: "Yeah, you've gotta face it baby, things go bump, bump, bump in the night!"
By that point, all the kids' fear had melted away as they finally started to enjoy the fun and dance along to the music. Even the timid little Stanley got in on it after some gentle nudging from his aunt. It really seemed like just about everybody in the neighborhood was having a blast right now.
"Tell me, who's spooking who?
(Who's spooking who?)
It's very Scooby-Doo.
You hear a shriek in the house.
(Shriek in the house)
You know it's freaking me out.
(Freak you right out)
They're out to get you to capture you and make you…
Howling and prowling, you're shivering, quivering…
You cannot run! And you cannot hide!
Yeah, you've gotta face it baby, things go bump in the night!
Wherever you run and wherever you hide!
Yeah, you've gotta face it baby, things go bump, bump, bump in the night"
Suddenly, another cloud stream came down in the middle of the street and took the form of a werewolf dressed like Michael Jackson in a red leather jacket. He started performing some very extravagant dance moves as everyone watched in amazement. They also watched as Zoe, Tyrone and Stanley went up and started dancing with him, along with one of the jack-o-lanterns who also sang a little mini-verse.
"Things that go bump, they go bump, they go bump, they go!
They go bump, they go!
They go bump, they go!"
Then the lead ghost took over again.
"You cannot run and you cannot hide!
Yeah, you've gotta face it baby, things go bump, bump, bump in the night!"
They continued repeating the chorus over and over again as the entire neighborhood, especially the Pines kids, had the time of their lives at the greatest Halloween party ever.
Meanwhile, up in the air, Pacifica and Dipper watched the whole thing from above while riding Pacifica's magic flying staff. The blonde witch mom was happy that she was able to use her magic to treat her kids to such a spook-tacular surprise.
"You done good, honey," Dipper complimented her from inside his very comfy riding spot.
"Thanks, Dipper," she replied. Then the two of them turned around and flew back home so she could grow Dipper back to normal before the kids got home.
I've loved the idea of Pacifica being a witch for a while now, so when I decided that I wanted to make a Dipcifica Halloween story set in the future, I realized it would be a perfect opportunity to introduce that idea. As I kept thinking of more things I could do with this, I got more and more excited to write it all down.
I hope you all had as much fun reading this story as I did writing it and also, Happy Halloween, y'all!
(The song used is "Bump In The Night" by Allstars)