With A Yo Ho Ho

AN: Ehehehehe, deadlines. Yes, I know, I'm stuffing up completely. I have decided to remove my update schedules from the page so people won't be yelling at me to update already. It's for the best. Also I have heavily updated my profile so PLEASE LOOK.

Anyway, on with the chapter! GOD VALLEY COMMENCE!

Last things last: I made a Discord! Here's the heavily edited link so as to not piss of FFN.

discord dot gg / SCEZcZ7aWn

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. One Piece is owned and written by Eiichiro Oda.




It was a stormy day when they docked on the island. The New World was pelting everything they had on the people there.

Some of them endured it. Some of them left, unwilling to bother with it.

Others, well…

"Slave! Stop moving! You're dripping water all over my premium rug!"

"It just had to rain on our trip here, didn't it!"

"We are World Nobles! Masters of all! Surely even the rain would know that!"

The only sounds in response were groans coming from the hastily constructed umbrella-made-out-of-slaves.

"Your Grace, maybe it would do your Grace a favour if we moved away?" a dutiful assistant asked.

The older Noble scoffed. "Inconceivable! We came all this way, we can wait out a little rain. Children, behave! Whining won't solve all of your problems."

The assistant thought this was incredibly ironic, considering that whining could solve their problems, but wisely decided to shut up.

Things were much less peaceful on the other side of the island…

"Alright you maggots! We've received reports that some World Nobles are staying here! Seems like they didn't learn from the last time we killed some, so let's do it again!"

As the Rocks Pirates cheered, one Edward Newgate grimaced. "It has to be some kind of misfortune that this is the only thing I enjoy on this crew…"

Kaido walked up to the older man and clapped him on the back. "Nonsense, Newgate! At least we get to rid those wastes of air from existence again!"

"Yeah, that's right! Lighten up, Newgate! I can feel it! It's a good day today!" Shiki agreed.

"No it's just—something feels off today. Like there's a storm brewing. A large one, for even New World standards…"

"With a yo ho ho, and a fare thee well…"

The Roger Pirates were celebrating on their ship after a battle, which they had won handily.

"Did you see how Rayleigh crushed that bastard's brain matter?"

"Yeah, it exploded everywhere!"

"So cool!"

"And Captain did something with his Haki to literally wilt the other Captain's fingers!"

As the crew shouted about recent exploits, Roger spun the helm around. "Listen up lads! We're going to the Rumbars! We haven't seen them in ages! Plus, I need to tell Brook the news!"

A great cheer befell the Roger Pirates.

"Garp! When you get restationed you don't go to Marineford to get rice crackers instead!"

"But Senny…"

Groaning, Sengoku quickly transformed and threw Garp as far towards the New World as he could. He wouldn't be surprised if the thickhead went several metres through the Red Line before he stopped.

His Transponder Snail immediately started ringing and he picked up.

"Senny! I'm okay!"

"I know that you dunderhead! Now get to God Valley already. You don't want to displease the higher-ups even more than you already have."

"Fine. Why do I even have to perform guard duty for the bubbleheads anyways…" the call cut off.

Feeling a headache incoming, Sengoku turned to Tsuru and quickly asked for some painkillers.

"Are you drunk, Samson?"


"Then you're not."

"Shut up!"

The designated barkeeper, Iris, poured out some more alcohol as she surveyed her crewmates celebrating on board the Big Benny.

"Hey David, do you know how long the Log Pose'll take?" she asked.

"A few hours. Enough time to sight-see, but not enough to be stuck here. Though, I don't see why anyone would want to be in this rocky place."

Yorki grinned. "I'll drink to that. Especially in this crazy storm. I swear this is bad for even New World standards."

Abruptly, the Transponder Snail started ringing. Considering Brook had only given the number to two people, it was a no-brainer who was calling.

Brook picked up the receiver. "Roger?"

"Brook! We're coming over for a telling of tales and a party! Plus, you've been made a New World Lord!"

Brook gasped. "What?"

"Yeah! Along with Xebec, the witch and I!"

"But…my bounty…"

"Yeah, it's been upped by 150 million. It's 683 million berries now. Guess they really didn't like your concerts."

"That would be reasonable, considering how many times the Marines tried to kill us." Travis interjected.

"But compared to all of yours, it's…"

"Don't worry Brook!" Surprisingly, Brook heard this from both the Snail and outside.

Quickly opening the door and heading outside he stared at Roger standing on deck sporting a rather large grin, even in the rain. Next to him, holding an umbrella each, was an equally grinning Gaban and an exasperated Rayleigh.

"Hey Brook! The Marines finally had the decency to up my bounty to above one billion, so that's nice!"

Rayleigh then groaned, "Captain, manners first. Permission to come aboard, Captain Brook?"

"Permission granted, First Mate Rayleigh. Now get out of the rain and cold already!"

The Roger Pirates quickly complied and ran into the spacious 'get drunk off your ass' room.

Still in shock, Brook hobbled into the room, and sat down.

David turned and grinned. "Who's going first?"

Pulling out a coin, Gaban flipped it and called heads. As the coin landed tails, David laughed and moved to talk, but the storm started drowning out his words.

David angrily got up and started cursing Rouge in every single way he could think of.

That's when a wave of energy passed through all three ships and the majority of both crews, making the majority faint on the spot.

Roger got up, muttering, "Conqueror's…"

Joining him, Brook continued. "It has to be Xebec's. No one else's Haki would have been that prominent.

Roger grinned. "Well, let's go meet the old man, shouldn't we?"

In the corner, Yorki grimaced. "This is going to be a bad idea, Roger. I can feel it."

While Roger paid him no mind, Rayleigh looked over and nodded.

As the storm raged on, the conscious members of the two crews, being Roger, Rayleigh, Gaban, Brook, Yorki, Benny, David and Travis proceeded inland. Brook left a trembling Laboon instructions on what to do when the others woke up before he left.

"Let's hope we make it out of this alright…" Brook whispered to the large whale.


Garp was on high alert as he scanned the area from his perch above his 'baggage'. He could sense presences from across the whole island. Some were malicious in intent. Some were excited.

There was also one regretting all the life decisions he had ever made in his life.

Doing a quick check, he performed a quick check of all the threats on this island.

"Soul King, 683 million. Calico, 250. Killer Sax, 225. Ship Demolisher, 175. Gun Luck, 130. Doom Drummer, 99. Roger, 1 billion. The Witch-Demon, 1.2 billion. Ray, 540 mil. Gaban, 400 mil. Linlin, 700 mil. Kaido, 600 mil. Shiki, 690 mil. John, 430 mil. Newgate, 900 mil. Xebec…" He cut himself off as he sensed hostile intent rapidly approaching.

"Alright lads! Who's first?" Through an explosion, the horrifying form of the Rocks Pirates emerged out of the smoke. Many were grinning, clearly glad at a chance to improve their bounty. Some looked calm at the situation. The Dread Captain himself was grinning a lunatic grin, like a demonised version of the one most Ds sported.

Garp leapt down as the World Nobles were hastily dragged away by their assistants, and spoke. "Well, well, well. Look who it is again."

"Monkey D. Garp. I made the mistake of underestimating you once. That won't happen again." As the words left Rocks's mouth, he drew his saber and the heavy presence in the air grew tenfold, making the Nobles, their assistants and even some of Rocks' own crew collapse in a faint, frothing at the mouths.

Rocks continued, "This time I'll make sure you're dealt with for good. After all, we don't want some goody two-shoes Marine to get in the way of my Empire, ain't that right lads?" His crew hastily cheered. Rocks honed in on one member who stayed quiet and bisected him within the blink of an eye.

"No. A world under you doesn't sound like much, doesn't it?"

Turning, Garp grimaced at the figure glaring at Rocks. "I came here on rumours that you might be here," Rouge continued, "so that I could end your pathetic life once and for all. It's time for a new lord of the seas, and that is going to be me."

"Garp. You have two choices: join me in killing Rocks, or fight me." Reluctantly, Garp muttered, "The former would be appreciated."

"Ahahaha! Children, quit your squabbling and just let me put you out of your misery already."

"Wow, Rocks. I thought you said you wouldn't underestimate them?" A certain Roger walked out from another path grinning his signature grin. Behind him, his top two and the top brass of the Rumbars stepped out, a determined glint in their eyes.

Several of the Rocks Pirates glared at the skeleton when they saw him. Their Captain, however, was looking down at Roger. "You. The rookie who tries to take my position on a daily basis. You're dead as well. Just like all the other 'Lords' here. You aren't worthy of that title!"

A gunshot fired off as Rocks finished his sentence.

Holding a pale-faced David's revolver, Brook shook away the smoke from the barrel. "No. You are wrong. Everyone here with that title has earned it themselves, with their own merit."

"So, Bones? What's that supposed to mean when everyone here is also inferior to me?"

Brook gulped, then grinned. "That's where you're wrong, kiddo."

The heavy presence in the air lightened as Roger and Rouge initiated their own Haki. Travis assisted as well, but quickly retracted his Haki once he realised he wasn't accomplishing much. Brook grimaced and continued his impromptu speech.

"We may be inferior to you individually, which I highly doubt, but together," as Garp moved to interrupt, Brook cut him off with an "including you, Garp, we are far superior to you and your lackeys."

"Pah. Ignorant words from an ignorant fool. And I'll have you know I'm older than you are."

Brook grinned. "I'm 142." Some of his crewmates looked a little confused by the statements, but assumed it to be a clever bluff, while Yorki smirked knowingly, despite the sweat coursing down his face.

By now Rocks was fed up by the lack of progress on his end. Slapping his face in exasperation, he yelled at his crewmates, "Just attack them already!"

Said crewmates proceeded onward like moths to a flame.

"Well," Garp said as he punched someone in the face, "good that he gave us a warm-up."

As he slashed multiple people away from him to kick a man with a giant silver axe, Roger replied, "Very generous of him. I'm getting impatient though. What say we finish this off fast?"

Spinning a (new) halberd around to slice John in the face (and leaving behind a very impressive scar), Rouge added, "Way ahead of you."

The Rumbars were standing on an iceberg fending off the colossal tide of pirates, while their Captain was facing off against a flying Shiki.

Correction—flying half-frozen Shiki. Recognising it as the work of a certain skeleton, Kaido turned away from the fight he was about to enter to charge towards Brook.

"You got lucky last time, skeleton. I'll kill you!" he screamed as he swiped his kanabo at the determined fencer.

Channeling the chill of the underworld, he raced ahead before soundwave-enhanced supersonic bullets came flying through the air. Seeing David and Travis nodding at him, he turned back to see a storm of Haki-enhanced fast-flying bullets penetrating Kaido's skin, making him scream in pain.

Brook was glad to see his crew holding their own, but something was off about the situation. Namely, where was Kaido's dragon?

After some moments of thinking and slashing Rocks Pirates, he came to the only possible conclusion: that Kaido did not have his Devil Fruit yet.

'Intriguing…' he thought. Looking to see progress in the battle, he noted that the only members of Rocks' top brass left were Newgate and Linlin. Roger was battling Newgate and Rouge was against Linlin.

Meanwhile, Garp himself was driving off attacks from Rocks, who was still trying to remove the World Nobles from existence. Sparks flew as the the obsidian fists and sword clashed again, with both combatants landing hits on the other, but Garp was quickly getting more and more winded.

Suddenly, Garp's Transponder Snail began ringing, and as it answered, Rocks promptly swore as he dodged Garp's makeshift projectile, slicing it to shreds and spraying blood and gore everywhere.

Mucus was all over their clothes, there was blood on everything within arms' reach, it was simply plain disgusting.

Roger certainly commented on such as he raced over from a winded Newgate to parry Rocks' blows with his own, emitting his Haki to give him some space.

"Garp, I've got this! Go get changed!"

"Shut up, pirate!"

Sengoku had started to feel the effects of the painkillers when Tsuru decided to open her big mouth and mutter those cursed words, "We should go check up on Garp."

Pulling out his Transponder Snail, he dialled Garp to listen and immediately cringed as he heard battle noises, wind whistling through the air and… was that sword slashes?

"The he—"

The future Fleet Admiral was interrupted by a sound that would be forever ingrained in his (and Tsuru's) head for the rest of his life.

The sound of a Transponder Snail being dismembered.

You see, a little-known fact is that when Transponder Snails die, they still transmit their own death sounds a full minute after they die.

Which meant that Sengoku and Tsuru were listening to a Transponder Snail dying from blood loss after being split into about four dozen pieces.

Needless to say, the cleaning crew was called very quickly.

Brook froze the last of the pirates harassing him, while checking around him. Rouge had long since finished off Linlin and had gone to kill Rocks, Newgate (no actually, Whitebeard, he had the moustache) was groaning on the ground, and Shiki, John, and every other enemy pirate had been neutralised. Which left…


With a jolt, Roger came flying out from Rocks' direction, sporting several large cuts. Turning to his crew, he shouted, "Get me some bandages, then get the hell out of here!"

Rayleigh interjected. "Don't worry, I'll worry about Captain. You get your crew out of there."

Yorki piped up. "Right. I'm mostly alright, but the others aren't exactly in fighting shape."

He pointed to the limping Travis, David nursing a twisted arm and Benny with several broken limbs.

Gaban stopped from where he was about to approach Rocks. "Brook, I'll go with you to get these guys back to the ships. I may be good, but I'm not a monster like Captain and Ray." He put away his axes, picked up Benny and Travis and ran back to where the ships were.

Brook sighed, before quickly chugging down some milk and picking up David to run after Gaban.




AN: I apologise for the delays.

As I said, I do have a Discord now. Here's a link: discord dot gg / SCEZcZ7aWn

I'm afraid FFN makes me have to edit it, so you'll have to put it in yourself, removing the unnecessary spaces and replacing the word 'dot'.

I'll edit this when Chapter 1000 decides to retcon everything I put down. (Edit, looks like it didn't!)

Anyways, thank you for being patient with me, and hope to see you soon with another chapter!