It was a bright and sunny morning on skateboarding street, it was a long snaking concrete road. atop a hill at the end of the road sat a large Tan mansion. The middle portion was a 1 story flat, and on either side of it was a 5 floor square tower. The roofs were slanted such, that it made a smooth 'U' shape. It almost looked like a big skate ramp. On the top floor of the left tower, was the master bedroom of none other than the bird man, Tony Hawk. His alarm went off, the entire soundtrack to Tony Hawks Pro Skater 4. Once it finished, he squinted his eyes open and rose from bed, stretched his arms out and said "good morning" to no one in particular. Smiling, he looked across the room, towards the opposite tower, where his son was getting out of bed at the same time. As explained, the roofs made it so that he couldn't actually see his son. But he knew. What he didn't know was:
Today was a big day, his son's uhh, 27th birthday. A second alarm went off, in the other tower, perfectly paralleled to his own. On the bedside of the one and only Riley Hawk, his son. it was the achievement complete noise from tony hawks pro skater 3, this alarm only went off once a year, it signaled that riley hawk was a year older.
Riley Hawk's eyes widened, as he rose from his bed, he was now smiling too, because he could always rely on his dad to get him an amazing present. And 27 is a big age, which meant he would definitely get a big present.
Tony got out of bed, a little groggy, and put on his safety pads, elbows and knees, helmet too. Over his pajamas. Then grabbed a toothbrush, put on some toothpaste, and began jogging towards the stairs, grabbing a skateboard on his way. He jumped onto the spiral staircase and landed on the railing, then did a boardslide all the way down, brushing his teeth on the way. This slide lasted exactly 2 minutes, executing a perfect trick and a perfect smile. Once he got to the bottom he spit into the kitchen sink and threw his toothbrush in the trash, not rinsing his mouth. He lazily skated to the couch and fell back onto it. Turning on the tv. The newscaster sparked to life.
"Today is October 30th, Riley Hawks Birthday. We hear at Fox News want to wish him a big boy big birthday, and will now sing him Happy Birthday." "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday rileyyy hawk. Happy Birth-"
*Tony turned off the tv* he started mumbling "ahh shit ahh fuck ahh"
Just then, the sound of a skateboard slamming onto the tile kitchen floor from 5 stories in the air brought his mind into focus. *BANGG!*
"Oh hi dad, good morning" Riley said to the birdman, looking down on him from across the shared central flat. Tony was sunken into his giant leather couch. Dwarfing the padded man. Who looked to be less than 5 feet tall and weathered with age. From Riley's strong standing position.
T: "Oh hi son, Happy Birthday! I love you!"
R: "Hi dad, do you have a present for me?"
T: "Yea son, i just have to go pick it up, it'll take some time to prepare too. Why don't I drop you off at the skatepark and pick you up again when it's ready?"
Riley frowned, he was disappointed he would have to wait for his birthday surprise, but he trusted his dad and knew that it would be worth the wait.
Tony also frowned, he would need to walk back up the five stories to get his real clothes on. He hated this part.
30 minutes later Riley was kicking the back of his dads seat absentmindedly as they drove to the skate park. Thankfully the skatepark was like 5 minutes away. Technically walking, or skating distance. But the gimmick of turning the driveway into a snake run to the park got old quick, and most of the time they just wanted to drive. Riley got out and slammed the door behind him, he liked to see how hard he could close it. But then he realized he forgot his earbuds, he turned around knocked on his dads window to try and get his attention. But tony just shook his head and drove off.
Tony had to find a gift and fast, once he was in town, he noticed lawn signs for a new halloween shop where his favorite bagel spot recently went out of business. Called "spirit halloween"
Tony raised an eyebrow and parked the car. He skated up to the windows and peered inside. He could see one minimum wage employee surrounded by a wonderland of spooky gifts. He tried to remember if his son liked halloween, I mean he shared a birthday with it so probably.
He skated inside and down one of the aisles. The employee shouted something but he had trained himself to block out phrases such as "you can't skate here" at a young age. So he didn't hear it. He skated through aisles of clothing, home decor, and candy. He did a couple kickflips, then a boneless 180 over an inflatable pumpkin. "Sweet line tony" he muttered under his breath smiling. The employee was looking at her phone, looking up once in awhile when he would knock something over or bail on a trick. Eventually tony had skated the whole store and reached the front counter. He was sweating and out of breath.
As a sweat bead reached his brow he said "Hey.. He-Hey uhm mam"
E: "yes sir, did you find everything alright?"
T: "no uh, everything is so expensive here, 40$ for a wig and a plastic corset. Come on dude. Do you have anything cool that's like, affordable?" *checking his wallet, tony had a few cards and a thousand dollars or so cash* he shook his head as if this wouldn't be enough for what he had in mind.
E: "you could try the discount bins in the back"
tony didn't respond, just wordlessly skated away. The employee went back to her phone.
As tony approached the back he did a tail slide on one of the bottom racks, knocking a bunch of candy all over the ground. He looked around, to make sure no one saw. Then picked it up in his arms. And tried to jog it somewhere out of site, he ran around the corner and through a curtain labeled "employees only"
Entering what appeared to be the security room. Now unguarded with a bunch of monitors replaying the floor cameras. He watched one that showed him doing the boneless 180 over the pumpkin. He made a fist pump gesture and said "yess" spilling candy out of his arms on the floor. He looked down and kind of shrugged, then left the room. He looked out into the hall with all the staff only rooms. One was labeled "do not sell." he figured this must be where all the good stuff is stored and slumped on in.
Looking around, the room was full of crates labeled "monster blood" he nodded his head and said "yupp" then opened one up, there were canisters glowing bright green. The glow lit up his face and he nodded, "yuppppp"
He grabbed a couple cans and pocketed them, then jogged out of the back room and back onto his skateboard. He went to the front counter and apologized for the mess, then got back in his car. His pockets glowing a noticeable bright green. He drove on home and walked inside. He began wrapping his two gifts along with some candy that had slipped into his cargo shorts. It was a bundle of leftover christmas gift wrap and scotch tape. Glowing green at the seems. This looked like a mess, so he had an idea. He would throw in a skateboard deck, and put the cans where the wheels would be, to make it look like a wrapped skateboard. Haha.
He began to unwrap the package with a kitchen knife, but accidentally punctured a can. It began to ooze green all over his kitchen island counter. It was so bright he was afraid to touch it at first, but he grabbed some tupperware and began spooning it in. washed his hands, then labeled the tupperware with sharpie, it said "oooh spooky, monster blood, happy birthday son, haha, tony hawk" ***the 'tony hawk' written as if he was signing an autograph or something***
Tony set it down and went to use the bathroom, which was also at the top of the five story staircase, he jogged all the way up. When he got to the top he realized he forgot his board. "Damn" So he whizzed, and jogged back down.
He was so tired when he got to the bottom that he bent over and grabbed his knees to catch his breath. Looking up, he realized the goo had oozed all over his kitchen counter, on to the floor, and over his shoes. "What the hell man".
He walked outside and past the goo. Then turned on the hose and sprayed it off his shoes, soaking his socks. He soggily stomped over to his car and looked back at the house. The goo was coming out from underneath the front door and onto the grass. He frowned, and reached into his pocket to grab his phone. He google searched "monster blood problem"
The first result was an ad for "mystery inc" , which claimed to handle all manner of strange monsters ghouls and ghosts. Sounded close enough, so he called the number.
*ring ring ring*
*ring ring ring*
M: "hello? Like, you've reached mystery inc, sorry we can't come to the phone right now we're-"
*there was some fumbling noises and what sounded like a rolled up newspaper hitting someone hard, then a few squirts of a spray bottle*
M: "Hello! Mystery inc! Sorry about that, how can we help you? "
T: " uhh, hey dude, i've got a problem. I bought some monster goo and now it's expanding and filling up my house. Can you like, take care of it somehow?"
M: sure, if it's a monster we can handle it. How much goo?
T: "hmm let me check"
Tony walked over to his front door and tried to open it, but it opened inwards, and seemed stuck. He walked over to the not open window and peered inside. It seemed about 3 feet deep.
T: "at least a couple gallons"
M: Alright no problem, we'll be down there in a jiffy.
T: "thanks i've gotta go pick my son up from the skatepark, the doors open so you're cool to work alone. Just do your thing monster men"
Tony hung up and smiled, not waiting for an answer. He then got in his old silver PT Cruiser and drove down to the skatepark to pick up his son. Oh how he loved his paint stripped PT cruiser, he had intentionally sawed off the muffler to make it louder so people would see it as he drove by, and know Tony had a real beast of a car.
Anyways, As he approached the park he slowed down and cracked his windows to peer up at the skaters. When he saw something he hated to see. His son being pushed back and forth by the local bullies. Tony stepped out of his car and yelled!
"HEY! YOU LEAVE MY SON ALONE YOU LITTLE PUNKS"
The four bullies stopped and Riley fell to the ground, tears welling up in his eyes.
"Dad It's nothing, they weren't doing anything"
One of the bullies turned to Tony.
"Yea that's right, we didn't do anything, you tell him Riley"
This bullies name was Lars Rodriguez, with him were the four usual suspects. Pi Piston, Sputz Ringley, and Animal.
Tony walked up to them and looked down with rage in his eyes.
"I AM SO SICK OF YOU FUCKING KIDS AT MY SKATEPARK!"
Sputz looked up at Tony.
"Yourrrrrrrr skatepark? I don't see your name on it"
Tony grew red in the face, not only did the archway say "tony hawk's memorial skatepark"
But the same was painted across each half pipe and on the sign out front. He could not have made it any more obvious.
T: "IT SAYS MY NAME ON THE SIGN, AND ON THE ARCHWAY, AND ON THE SKATERAMPS.."
Pi jabbed Lars lightly with his elbow and said
"Sounds like the old bird wants to play a game of skate"
"I DO NOT-"
Lars crossed his arms and nodded
"What's wrong Mr. Hawk, don't like losing?"
Tony turned around and went back to his car. He opened the trunk and pulled out a brand new mint condition Birdhouse skateboard, and his helmet. He put both on and walked back over to the kids. He pointed at his car sternly and Riley got up and walked over without looking his dad in the eyes. ashamed. Then got in the back seat and buckled his seatbelt. Tony inhaled…. and exhaled.
"Alright kids, let's play, and if I get even two letters, I'll admit defeat."
The bullies looked at each other and smiled, then back at tony.
"Alright you're on, but we go first"
Tony stepped aside, and Animal set his board down, then skated forward, he said "ollie" before doing a small ollie. Then rolling on back.
Tony looked at him. "That's it?"
Animal looked up at him expressionless.
Tony shrugged and got on his board. Right in front of them. Without rolling he positioned his feet. He crouched, then jumped as high as he could. He got probably three feet in the air when Lars stuck his foot out and kicked the board out from under him in mid air.
It Rolled down a nearby ramp, up the other side, and launched off the back of the ramp. Colliding with and Smashing through tonys PT Cruiser window. *CRASH* Riley whimpered faintly as the glass exploded all over the back seats and into his hair. The car alarm went off. "Wee woo wee woo wee woo"
Lars looked down at Tony who had fallen to his knees. And said plainly. "S"
Tony had his head down. And he had had enough. He was about to lose his fucking mind.
He reached up and grabbed Lars by the collar of his shirt, squeezing it tight, and picked Lars up in the air, then walked back over to his car, and wordlessly reached in to grab his skateboard. Pulling it out through a pile of glass. Still carrying Lars in one hand he walked up the stairs of the 15 foot skate ramp, sat his skateboard down, and looked lars in the eyes "ever do a 900 Lars?"
Lars seemed unphased. He just shook his head.
Tony dropped in, flew down the ramp and up the other side, he spun as hard as he could, popped his tail, and threw lars like a football into the stratosphere. Lars going even higher than Tony, did two and a half spins, then two and a half more. Tony skidded to a stop at the bottom of the got off his board, he looked up at lars with a smirk of satisfaction.
Lars reached the peak of his jump, and began to come down. In total he had done about five full spins. As he began to fall he looked down at tony smiling. He yelled "DOUBLE 900!" Before SLAM, hitting the earth with both feet squarely planted on Tony's skateboard.
He looked up at Tony expectantly. Tony couldn't speak. He was in awe. He yanked the skateboard out from underneath lars and climbed back up the ramp. Lars walked over to the grass beside the ramp and started fumbling around in the grass with his fellow bullies.
Tony stood atop the ramp and braced himself, he looked down at the bullies, then to his car where his son sat in the back seat with his arms crossed. He breathed in, and out. Then dropped in, he curled up to gain as much speed as possible, he shot down the ramp and up the other side, popped his tail and flew.
The bullies all started throwing rocks at Tony in midair. A few landed in his side and he dropped the board. "Oof" his skateboard flew off towards his car, this time rolling up and lightly bumping the back tire.
Tony thudded against the side of the ramp and slid down to the bottom. The bullies all had their hands behind their back. Lars just whistled as Tony got up and stomped over.
"WHAT THE HELL, YOU KIDS CHEATED!"
Lars smiled and said "K", "we win."
Tony looked Lars up and down. "Do you think you deserve a memorial? You stubby orange flat nosed freak? You three foot tall disgrace to the skateboard? You sloth eyes slouch? You dirty laundry hamper looking bobbleheaded bastard? You 'I don't need to use soap because the ocean is clean enough' dreadhead? You dropped out of gradeschool because it was too hard smooth brained ape? you-
Lars looked up at him.
"Feel free to change the signs to say 'Lars Memorial Skatepark"
Tony raised his fist to finish the job Lar's dad started, but noticed the sun setting on the horizon.
"Oh dude, it's getting dark, and we still haven't celebrated Riley's Birthday"
Tony jogged back to the car, picking up and tossing his skateboard through the shattered backseat window and into his sons lap. Who weakly said "ow" as it landed in his glass covered lap.
They started the car, and went to get ice cream.
Meanwhile, the mystery gang had arrived at Tony's mansion. They all shuffled out and approached the front door. Fred took the lead and made window goggles with his hands against one of the first story windows.
F: "all I can see is green gang"
Shaggy: "awww man, like, I hate gangrene"
Fred: " don't worry, i've got just the thing"
Fred kicked the front door in. which broke the lock and caused green goo to ooze out all over the front porch. The gang jumped back and watched as it slowly took over the lawn. Noticing it had all front facing exits blocked. They shuffled around back, their ankles covered in green. Fred grabbed the hose and sprayed off all their shoes. Soaking their socks and pissing off Scooby Doo.
Scooby growled and Fred said "bad dog"
Spraying him with the hose in the face.
Shaggy frowned. Fred had never disciplined his dog before.
Fred pointed up to the one window that was 5 stories up "alright gang, let's climb"
Much like a real skateramp, the backside was just made of intersecting two by fours, revealing that between the first and fifth floor, it was just a set of stairs, surrounded by a hollow frame. Only the front side made it appear as if there were floors inbetween.
Fred drug scooby over to the back wall and made him stand up straight, then put one foot on scoobys back. Scooby let out a little yelp. and Fred hopped up and climbed onto the wall, and then onto the stairs. He gestured for everyone to do the same. Shaggy let scooby use his back, then gangled his way up.
Once they got onto the stairs, they looked down to see the whole bottom floor was filled with ooze.
Fred: "ah jeez, did we bring the wet vac?"
Velma: "no fred, you said we couldn't afford the 12.99 rental fee."
Fred: "ah right, you mean Daphne's dad couldn't afford to let me borrow the money"
Daphne: "fred you always say borrow but you never return the money"
Fred: "come on daph you know it's just an expression. Besides, once we get married it'll be my- I mean ourrr money anyways"
Scooby: "ruh roh"
The slime as if reacting to their conversation began to climb the stairs, half spilling over the ledge as it grew. The gang walked backwards as they watched. Freds eyes lit up
"Wait gang I have an idea" he told everyone to stand back and kicked down really hard, breaking off some of the staircase. Then kicked a few more times.
Fred: "aha, take that you stupid monster."
The fragile structure that once held up the right tower up began to crumble. Old wooden board raining down as the tower shook, and a few moments later, it collapsed inwards onto the bottom floor. Encasing mystery Inc with green goo.
An hour later, Tony and Riley were driving home, licking ice cream and yelling all the lyrics to goldfinger's song "superman"
So here I am, doing everything I can
Holding on to what I am
Pretending I'm a superman
and as they came over the hill, what they saw shocked them. The ice cream fell off tony's quadruple strawberry scoop cone with all the toppings, onto his lap, his mouth was agape.
The right half of their home had crumbled. And what remind was oozing green goo all over the place. He drove up onto the driveway, covering the bottom of his beautiful PT cruiser in a foot of green goo.
Riley began to tear up, and Tony began to comfort him quickly.
Riley: "aww, aw, aw,-"
Tony: "no son it's okay it's okay i'm sure the monster busters just haven't gotten here yet'"
Riley: "then why is there an empty van over there that says" *sniffle* "mystery inc, we will take care of all ghouls ghosts and ghonsters"
Tonys head shot around to see the van. His expression worsened. Suddenly. The goo began to seep in through the windows of his car. And all onto his seats, onto his lap.
Tony:"oh no it's getting in what do we do?"
Riley: "dad what IS this stuff?"
Tony:"it was supposed to be your present."
Riley: "oh cool thanks dad I love it"
Then the good filled the car, and the bird boys were never heard from again. The end.