138Hello everyone! Welcome back! Thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoy! I wrote this chapter to a Jacob Black scented candle - leather and amber musk WHEW LORD. wow, it's amazing. Welcome to Jacob's POV at long last
It seems like a light has come into the room with you
The moon is but a shadow compared to the radiance of you
The pull of your gaze has had such an effect on the state of my heart
That now I can only pray to drown in their depths and find salvation
Such grace is the one in your eyes
Jacob eyed Jenna for a long moment, searching her face for any indication of what she was thinking. He wasn't entirely sure why he was nervous, hell, they'd already crossed the very obvious line between friends and … whatever came next. Really, this was just a formality. He'd already told her she was his girlfriend and she… had not exactly said no. That had to count for something. He had nothing to be worried about. Except for the fact that if Jenna didn't speak in the next 30 seconds or so, he was likely to throw himself out her living room window and never return.
The girl was a fucking sphinx. A gorgeous, delightful, intelligent, charming little sphinx, but a sphinx all the same. He couldn't get a read on her.
"You gotta give me something here," he burst out, rubbing his hands on his pants in a nervous gesture.
He realized his mistake immediately when Jenna's sharp eyes dropped to the motion. Her gaze became shrewd, assessing. He'd given her too much power. Of course, she already had complete and utter power over him, he'd probably find a way to pull his own insides out if she asked it of him, but she didn't need to know that.
"Why?" she finally asked, cocking her head to the side in an adorably confused gesture that knocked the breath out of him.
"Are you insane?" He snapped, immediately cursing himself when she snapped to attention, narrowing her eyes at him in a move that told him this would end badly. "What do you mean, why?"
"I mean," she hissed, leaning forward, "why do you want to go on a date with an insane person?"
Jacob froze, swallowing the waterfall of possible reasons that swelled up within him. Too much, too fast. He couldn't tell her that he wanted to spend every waking moment with her, he wanted to close his eyes at night with her beside him and wake up to the sight of her in the morning. He couldn't tell her that the sight of her was enough to make him feel like it was worth all of the bullshit being tossed at him from every direction. That she reminded him that the world was a place worth protecting - all because she lived in it.
"You know why," he said instead. She had to. She had to know on some level that they were made for each other, that years of teasing and back and forth had all danced around this instinctual knowledge that she'd been born for him and he for her.
Jenna's face cleared and she rocked back slightly to put some distance between them. He knew then that she did. She knew very well and the knowledge was enough to frighten her.
"Besides," Jacob continued, trying to paddle his sad little romance rowboat back into more casual waters, "you already agreed to be my girlfriend. That's what people do with their girlfriends. They take them out on dates."
Jenna scoffed, taking the bait and glaring at him with fire in her eyes. He could spend all day riling her up if it meant she'd look at him like that, like he was the only person in the world and her life's purpose was to impart some kind of knowledge onto him. If that were the case, there was only too much he didn't know and so much that she could teach.
"Wrong," she scowled, "you told me I was your girlfriend, and I did not correct you. I didn't want to embarrass you then."
"As I recall, it was just the two of us in your bed."
Jacob had the pleasure of watching her cheeks flame. Jenna tore her gaze away, fixing her eyes on a spot on the far wall, swallowing hard. She did that when she wanted to compose herself. As if looking directly at him was too much. The thought was a happy one.
"Not that I would know," she began stiffly, "but people tend to ask someone to be their girlfriend after they've taken them on a date."
Jacob knew very well that Jenna wouldn't know, and he was honest enough to admit the knowledge was a source of great pleasure for him. The thought of someone else's hands on her, someone else getting her time and attention - it was enough to make him want to crush the hypothetical rival's head in. He'd been ready to fight his own best friend over her. The truth was that Jenna had always had an odd hold over him. Without lifting a single finger, she could make him lose his fucking mind in ways he didn't think he was capable of. Lee Johnson could attest to that. Not that the son of a bitch hadn't deserved exactly what he'd gotten, but it was safe to say that no one had imagined Jacob would be the one to deal it to him. He shoved the memory out of his mind, he couldn't risk the anger the recollection would bring. Not when Jenna was so close.
He realized Jenna was still talking to him when she waved a hand in front of his face, an angry look painted on her face.
"Am I a joke to you?!" She demanded and Jacob snorted, swallowing a laugh with great difficulty. She had no idea.
"No," he assured her with a solemn look, but couldn't resist taking another shot at her. "You're not nearly funny enough for that."
Jenna's face dropped. "I don't want to go anywhere with you anymore," she announced, shifting so she faced away from him. "Go on your date by yourself."
Jacob grinned despite himself, sidling closer to her. "So before this, you were on board."
"I didn't say that!" She protested, turning her head back slightly to gape at him.
"You kinda did," he crooned, a smug sort of masculine pride unfurling in his chest. She wanted to be close to him too.
Jenna perused him over her shoulder for a long moment. "Do you honestly believe you're helping your cause?"
Jacob laughed, leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder. He felt her tense for a moment before she began to relax in slow increments.
"Why don't you tell me, honey? How am I doing?"
He watched with a possessive sort of interest as a blush spread across her chest, up her throat, and onto her face. A dark, instinctual part of him wanted to know just how far down it went.
Jenna toyed with the hem of her shirt with her good hand, keeping her eyes firmly downcast. She shook her head without a word. Jacob wondered whether he should keep pushing her. Goad her some more until she'd look at him with her eyes blazing, lit up with the kind of fire he wanted reserved for himself.
"Not good," she finally mumbled, trying to shrug him off of her with a low noise of irritation. "I don't like you."
If there had been any heat in her words, if the breathless cadence to them hadn't implied the exact opposite, he might have found it within himself to be offended. Her attempts to shrug him off caught his attention, however. The sight of the cast sent another pang straight into his chest, he suspected it always would.
"Are you feeling any better now?" Jacob asked, shifting around her to kneel in front of her. His hands clutched her good hand, stroking the soft skin on the underside of her wrist.
Jenna paused, her brow furrowing slightly as she paused to take inventory. Everything was a puzzle to her. Everything was something that could be understood, could be puzzled out, could be picked apart into its parts. He loved it. He loved her.
"Yeah," she finally murmured. "It doesn't hurt anymore, I'm just sleepy."
She looked like she was too, blinking in slow motions and wavering slightly. Jacob would have been surprised if she made it up the stairs. Finally, something he could help with. He couldn't fix her bones, lend her his own healing qualities. He couldn't take the pain from her limbs, carry the entirety of the burden for her like he longed to do so badly. He could, however, put her straight to bed. This one thing he could control for her, this one need he could help fulfill.
If she wasn't already half-doped up from the pain medication, Jacob knew she'd try and murder him for what he did next. As much as he preferred her complacent, it was almost too easy to ignore her tiny protests as he scooped her up into his arms, holding her against his chest. He was struck by just how delicate she was. Oh, he knew well that she would recoil and scoff in his face if he used the term to her face, but the fact of the matter remained that she was unfailingly delicate, fragile, a thing to be protected at all costs. Well, not a thing - definitely not a thing - but … a treasure. Did that still count as an object? Feminist flattery was hard, but he'd get the hang of it one day.
It was a frightening thought to realize how easily he could break her, how easily something like him could snap her in two, and despite all of her intelligence, all of her strength, all of her resilience - she'd just be gone. Jacob hadn't realized his grip had tightened around her until she shifted in his arms and made a small noise of discomfort. He relaxed his hold immediately. He ducked down under the doorframe of her room, stooping slightly as he carried her to her bed. He settled her down on her good side, pausing for a long moment to watch her face relax in sleep. All the guardedness, the wariness had eased from her features, revealing a face that looked so innocent that it lanced straight through to his heart. He would die for her. Jacob had already known this intrinsically, he'd known it since the moment he laid eyes on her in that red sweater and could only think 'Oh, this is why I was born.' This was the first time he'd consciously thought the words. But they resonated with him like a truth as old as the universe itself. He would give his life, crawl through all however many circles of hell if that's what it took to make her happy. To protect her - nothing was off limits. It was an odd feeling to know that every moral, every rule, every guiding principle could be thrown out the window and stomped to death if it meant protecting this strange girl lying in front of him. He'd never considered himself overly dramatic, never thought he'd be the type to make huge declarations, but he knew, down to every cell in his body, that he'd paint a trail of blood to her door if that's what it took to keep her safe. She wouldn't want his bloody sacrifices, of course, but they were hers anyways. Or maybe she would. It was always difficult to tell when it came to Jenna.
She shifted, trying to roll to her other side and Jacob lurched forwards, grabbing her around the waist to hold her in place. His hand splayed across her back and Jenna sighed in her sleep, relaxing again after a moment. Concern furrowed his brow, and he reached around her grabbing at pillows and an odd amount of stuffed animals to create cushioning against her back that he hoped would keep her from rolling onto her injured arm. He was contemplating staying and watching over her until he heard a car pulling in and steps on the gravel. It only took another second to hear the jingle of keys in the lock and Jacob ducked out the window, reassuring himself that Jenna's mother would make sure she didn't hurt herself any worse than she had. Watching Jenna through her window was a step that even Jacob didn't want to take, so he left her to sleep, leaping down from the tree outside her window and disappearing into the tree line.
His mind drifted back to their earlier conversations, to the suspicion in her eyes. She already had a good idea that something was different, that something was off. Jacob could only hope that this was a puzzle that was too large for even Jennifer Coleman to pull together.
He was greeted by the usual chaos of the pack mind when he phased, a cacophony of voices that made it difficult to focus on his own thoughts sometimes. Currently, he was sharing mental space with Jared and Embry, both of whom were engaged in a passionate argument regarding who had nicer fur.
'I had nicer hair,' Jared pointed out. 'So it stands to reason that I would also have nicer fur.'
'You look like a fucking stuffed animal,' Embry protested. 'At least I look like a real animal.'
'You look like an animal,' Jared drawled, 'I'm so jealous.'
Jacob rolled his eyes, knowing that the pair of them could sift through his thoughts to pick up his judgement.
'How the hell did she manage to do that to herself?' Embry wondered, and Jacob knew that both he and Jared were tuned into his own thoughts regarding Jenna's injury.
'Her hand hit her mom's car,' Jacob sighed, settling his head atop his paws, an odd knot of unhappiness clenching in his stomach.
'Did she punch the car? How hard could she possibly have hit it?' Jared snorted.
She couldn't have hit it deliberately. No. She wouldn't have done that. Jenna was a lot of things but stupid was not one of them. It would have been stupid, point blank, to have deliberately punched her mother's car. Not to mention, what reason could she have had for doing something like that? It made much more sense that she had been … gesticulating and hit it. Now that he was thinking about it, she did talk with her hands. And her eyes. And eyebrows - her entire body, really. Jenna was very expressive.
'Expressive is one word for it, I guess,' Jared laughed.
Jacob froze, trying to gauge whether there was any sort of insult hidden in the words. He'd have to kill him if there was. It wasn't that he was unwilling to do it, he'd do anything for Jenna's honour, but there'd be so much blood.
'Cool it there, friend,' Jared snapped, eyeing him and shifting a few paces away. 'I'm not Lee Johnson. No need to tear me a new one.'
It was a good thing that he had already phased - the reminder of that lowlife son of a bitch was enough to make him want to rip through an entire patch of forest.
'Okay,' Embry hedged, 'I can see that you're still not over that.'
Jacob growled, pawing at the dirt beneath him. He was not over it. And he never would be. Lee Johnson had taken great pains to avoid running into him in the hallways since that day.
'God, what the hell even happened that day? I'm tired of asking!' Jared demanded.
He remembered it like it was yesterday. They'd been in the ninth grade and puberty was… not fun. Tempers had already been short from raging hormones and they'd all been boys trying to figure out where they set on the proverbial social ladder of masculinity. Swearing, threatening to fight each other - everything seemed so much more serious at fourteen. Jacob was aware that he was still only seventeen - how much could anything have changed - but no one was at their best at fourteen years old, this was an unquestioned fact of life. The boys locker room was not a friendly place full of camaraderie. It was, at best, uncomfortable. On worse days, it was a crude and disrespectful place. It was on one of the latter days that Lee Johnson had learned what it meant to cross Jacob Black.
Their gym class had been changing back into their school clothes after class, chattering about their plans for the upcoming weekend. Jacob had been with Quil and Embry in a corner, self-conscious of their skinny bodies, bones jutting out where they'd wished there would be muscle. He'd just pulled his shirt on when he'd heard the commotion behind him, the raucous laughter of Lee Johnson and his ilk on the other side of the changing room. Jacob turned slightly, glancing back at the boys. While he'd never been particularly friendly with Lee Johnson, he chose to avoid the coarse and somewhat aggressive boy, Jacob wouldn't have considered them mortal enemies before that incident either.
All of that changed that day. The day that Lee Johnson made the mistake of mentioning Jennifer Coleman in Jacob Black's presence. Just thinking about it was enough to set his blood on fire, the memory of Johnson's crude words, his comments, was enough to make Jacob want to attack him anew.
'She's big, but I'd still hit that. The lights don't have to be on.'
He could still remember the way ice had flooded his veins. Ice that had frozen him in place, left him with an odd sort of detachment from the world around him. It seemed like the world around him had faded into darkness. All he had was tunnel vision, connecting him and the strange icy tension in his frame to Lee Johnson.
'It'd be worth it for her b-'
The ice in his veins had been replaced by fire. Burning hot and raging, coursing through him and leaving ash in its wake. Jacob couldn't remember anything, think of anything, other than making Lee Johnson stop talking, making him pay for what he'd dared to say about Jenna. His Jenna. In hindsight, he was a fool for not realizing it then.
Jacob hadn't even been entirely aware of himself when he'd thrown himself across the changing room, colliding with the other boy and slamming him backwards into a wall, his hands closing around Johnson's throat. If he'd had the strength he had now, he would've crushed his windpipe, torn out his voice box - anything to make sure he never made the mistake of bringing Jennifer Coleman's name to his lips again.
'What the fuck are you doing, Black?' He'd demanded, trying to wrench Jacob's hands off of his throat.
'I'll fucking bury you,' Jacob had snarled, mindless in a rage too dark for him to understand. 'You so much as look at her and I'll end you.'
Johnson had stared at him for a long moment, gobsmacked. 'This is about Coleman? Fucken Jenny Coleman?'
Jacob's fist pulled back, and he'd ignored the resulting pain in his knuckles when he'd driven it forwards into Johnson's face. The other boy had given a strangled grunt of pain, clutching at his face and groaning.
'You crazy fucking bastard - get him off of me!'
There had been hands grabbing at his arms, his shoulders, hauling him away from Johnson.
'Jake, calm down!'
Embry and Quil. Their familiar voices filtered into his hazy mind and he allowed himself to be pulled away.
'I'm warning you, Johnson,' he'd growled in a voice that didn't feel like his, 'don't ever fucking say her name, don't look at her, don't think about her. You don't ever disrespect Jennifer Coleman like that, or you answer to me.'
Johnson hadn't responded in words, a whimper being his only answer as he clutched at his face, his friends helping him to his feet.
Jacob had never told anyone about that day, nor had Johnson wanted it to spread very far that nice guy Jacob Black had gotten it over on him in the boys changing room. It was how he'd wanted it, he'd never wanted Jenna to know that something so horrible had been said about her. He'd taken care of it and that was that. Jenna didn't even know and likely didn't care that Lee Johnson made sure he steered clear of her.
He was wrenched from the memory by Jared's low whistle.
'Holy shit, dude,' Jared looked impressed.
'And you still tried to convince yourself you weren't head over heels from day one,' Embry rolled his eyes, sounding as smug as ever.
Jacob knew that Embry had been confident about Jenna being his imprint since he'd learned that it was a possibility. He was too content with the situation to object to Embry's being right about it.
He decided to allow Embry his moment of smugness, shaking off the residual tension recounting the Lee Johnson escapade had left him with. He had bigger fish to fry, much more exciting things to contemplate. He was taking Jennifer Coleman on their first official date.
'I trust Bella Swan won't be arriving this time?' Jared scoffed.
Jacob made a noise of displeasure. 'Not a chance.'
It had been bad enough that she'd shown up the way she had. As if trying to explain things to her wasn't difficult enough, she'd hurt Jenna in the process - or he'd hurt Jenna rather, and that was just unacceptable. He'd barely managed to get Bella off of his back with a bullshit excuse of how it wasn't her, it was him.
It was her.
He couldn't risk something like that again, not when this was his shot to impress Jenna. This time, it had to be fool-proof. Considering he spent most of his time with Jenna looking and feeling like a fool, that was a great start.
'Dinner and a movie?' Embry suggested, waggling his eyebrows in a manner that looked positively horrific on a canine face. 'A movie under the stars, by candlelight.'
Jared snorted. 'With his luck, he'll start a forest fire. Let's not tempt fate. Stick to a movie theatre, old boy.'
'What does she like to watch? Romance? Comedy? A romantic comedy?'
'Zombies,' Jacob admitted, realizing that was all he knew about her movie tastes. He knew she read books but movie adaptations were a different ball game, he could already hear her complaining about 'unfaithful adaptations.'
Jared sighed, rubbing his head with his paw. 'Romance is truly dead, huh?'
'I guess it could be their thing,' Embry hedged, looking uncomfortable. 'Maybe if she gets grossed out or scared, she'll cuddle up to you. Not a bad idea.'
Jacob did not think that would happen. Regardless, it was a lovely image and he was willing to risk it just in the hopes that she would do that. It would be wonderful. His arm around Jenna, her soft body curving into his, hiding her face in his shoulder. Turning to him for protection without really knowing just how far he was willing to go for her.
'Could you be more dramatic?' Jared laughed. 'Don't scare her off by being a crazy weirdo.'
'She might like crazy,' Embry volunteered. 'She strikes me as the kind who would.'
Jacob stared hard at him, this time wondering whether Embry was insulting Jenna. He'd have to go too then, there was nothing more to it.
Embry shuffled to the side, eyeing him with caution and flattening his canine ears against his head.
'If it helps, I'm obviously in the same boat, considering you're my best friend.'
Jacob considered this for a moment, before nodding, appeased. 'I'll allow it.'
It seemed that his course had been set for him. Dinner and a movie made sense. It was easy enough that he couldn't fuck it up. He had to make sure everything was perfect. Maybe then she'd be slightly less prickly with him, slightly less determined to protect herself in every possible way. Jenna kept herself at a distance, she used logic and science to hide uncertainty and emotion. One day, she'd feel safe enough to share the parts of her she didn't even face herself. He'd make sure of that.
Date night arrived sooner than he imagined it would. Granted, Jenna hadn't exactly agreed to his proposal before she'd fallen asleep, and he wisely hadn't brought it up again for the rest of the week. How averse to the idea could she possibly be? Besides, boyfriends didn't need to… ask their girlfriends if they wanted to go out. No, no, that was getting into creepy territory. Best not to think too hard about it at all. If she said no, he'd… go home and cry probably, but who was to say that she wouldn't say yes?
He'd bullied her into getting onto his motorcycle so he could drive her home and by the time Friday rolled around, she barely pouted about it anymore. He didn't particularly mind her pouting - hell, if he didn't stoop and bend his neck down, he wouldn't even be able to tell she was pouting - but the gradual display of her trust in the fact that he wouldn't let her be hurt by anything buoyed him. He drove her home on Friday like usual, pretending like everything was normal when he walked her to her door and folded her into a hug, desperate to hold onto the scent of her for just a little while longer. She'd gone into her house and closed the door like any other day, never suspecting that he'd be back in hours.
Which brought them to the present, with him standing outside her door, unreasonably nervous at the prospect of knocking. It took three tries before he was able to do it, and his heart was lodged in his throat when he heard footsteps on the other side. He held up the box of chocolates he'd bought for Jenna when the door opened. Jacob blinked, blanching and shoving the box behind him again when Jenna's mother came into view, peering up at him in astonishment.
"Can I help you?"
Jacob watched in bemused horror as she edged the door shut behind her, as if she sought to protect Jenna from him.
"Hi Mrs Coleman," he croaked, coughing and clearing his throat.
Delaney Coleman gaped at him. "Jacob? Jacob Black, is that you?"
Jacob nodded, not trusting his voice not to break again. He was sure his face was flaming.
"My god, look at you, you've gotten huge!"
Oh, she didn't know the half of it. Jacob shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.
"What can I help you with?"
Gone was her earlier cautiousness, Jenna's mother fairly beamed up at him now.
"Oh, uh," Jacob hedged, shifting his weight, "I - uh - Jennifer?"
Delaney blinked at him. "Oh," she said before she grinned a moment later. "Oh."
Jacob flushed again, half motivated to turn around and run into the woods. The thought of Jenna, of having her completely to himself for the evening, stopped him.
"Got some big plans?" Delaney teased, peering around him to laugh kindly at the chocolate box in his hands. "No flowers?"
"They'll die," Jacob blurted out. "At least the chocolate has a-"
"Practical use," Delaney finished with a nod. "Correct choice."
They stood in silence for a moment, him burning in humiliation and her glowing with delight.
"Come on in then," she cooed, beckoning him inside. "My god, you look like a man full grown."
He felt like a middle schooler.
She ushered him into the hall, babbling about how adorable this was and how she'd always suspected Jenna emphasized disliking him far too much for it to be true. Truthfully, Jacob wasn't sure whether that was meant to knock his confidence or bolster it.
"Jenny!" Delaney yelled up the stairs at a volume that left Jacob in little doubt where Jenna had gotten her animated speaking. "Come down here!"
Her only answer was an exaggerated groan.
"Now!"
Another groan.
"Jennifer!"
"Fine! But I won't like it!"
This was so great for his confidence, really.
Delaney seemed to be thinking along similar lines. She turned to him and smiled, laughing in a nervous gesture.
"She started a new book today, can't be pried away from it."
Jacob nodded, understanding dawning. Jenna was predictable. This was fabulous, he could give her the best evening in the world and she'd still resent him for prying her away from her book. Life sucked and then you died. That was his motto - was it too late to trademark it?
Jenna came down the stairs a moment later, dressed in shorts and a tank top, her hair thrown into a bun that was half coming apart. He froze at the sight of her, bowled over again by the sheer force of her beauty. She froze at the sight of him, too, screaming bloody murder and taking off back up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door shut moments later.
"So," Delaney murmured, patting his arm in a move of sympathy, "you're off to quite the start tonight, huh?"
She had no idea.