48Another Monday morning arrives and promptly at 7:57AM I sit down at my desk with coffee cup in hand. I make a face as I take a sip of the vile liquid. I dislike coffee and have only taken up the habit because every morning Edward A. Cullen, takes a 10AM coffee break in the community break room.
Pretending to feed a caffeine addiction gives me the chance to get close to the tall, tousled haired Adonis from across the lobby, without it appearing as if I'm stalking him, which I kind of am.
In a totally non-threatening and creepy way. Of course.
On good days, I can get close enough to get a sniff of his cologne. A whole afternoon of sniffing samples at Macy's and the exact mix of citrus, woods and spice still eludes me.
That scent is uniquely his.
Pure Edward
My computer slowly hums to life as I check my phone for messages. I cast a quick glance across the bustling lobby to the windows that separates Edward's offices from mine. He's bent over one of his computer monitors. My breath hitches when he looks up and catches me staring. I sheepishly lower my head and turn back towards my own computer terminal.
You're wearing that blue button down that brings out the color of your eyes.
It's the third time he's worn that shirt this month. I like to pretend that he's wearing it for me because he knows how hot it makes me when his gorgeous green eyes pop with color. Unfortunately, the delusion is fleeting because I know that the truth has nothing to do with my enjoyment and more to do with the fact that Edward's dry cleaner ruined three of his shirts last month and he have yet to replace them or the drycleaner. A fact I know from overhearing, okay, eavesdropping on the phone conversation you had the day of the said shirt destruction. I wonder if you would let me do your laundry. The thought of having unfettered access to the materials that cover your long and lean body has my thighs clenching tightly.
"Bella."
"Bella."
The snapping of small and insistent fingers jolts me back to reality.
"Jesus, Bella. Where were you?" I blink at Alice's question and turned my head towards the sound of her annoyed voice. "Randolph and Jamison are waiting for that quarterly report you were supposed to have done yesterday.
Shit!
"I'm sorry Alice, I must've, um, gotten distracted." My lame excuse hangs in the air like a tattered flag flapping in the wind. Ignoring narrowed eyes, I return to my computer, quickly pulling up the file I was supposed to have done already.
"Uh, huh, I can see you were distracted. " Alice smirks and looks in your direction. I follow her gaze to the window across the lobby where Edward is stretching. The beloved blue shirt stretches over his muscular chest and biceps as he loosens the muscles in his arms and shoulders in that wholly sexy male way.
"Damn, girl, will you just ask him out already? The repressed sexual waves you're sending out are starting to affect the whole company."
My eyes dart back to the computer screen and I begin typing furiously, trying to appear unaffected by Edward's impromptu office peep show. "What do you mean?" Oh god. Please tell me the whole company doesn't know about my crush on Edward.
"Oh relax. No one but me knows its Edward that has you clenching your thighs together and causing that shade of pink to permanently color your cheeks." She reached up and patted my heated cheeks.
"It's hot in here." I lie and brushed her hand away, ignoring her chuckle and all too knowing look.
"Yeah, and yet the rest of us manage to keep all of our clothes on." She points to my shirt and the cleavage that's attempting to escape with every deep breath.
I button up and resume my typing.
Alice chuckles to herself and I continue ignoring her.
"There. Done." I push save and send the file to the server where Alice can retrieve it upstairs at her desk.
"Thanks B." She turns to walk back towards the elevators.
"Alice, wait, "I implore before she can get to the elevators. Alice turns back towards me, but she's too far away. This isn't a question I can yell across the lobby. I motion for her to come closer, she frowns at my insistent hand motions but complies. I lean over the desk so I'm even closer to her. "What did you mean when you said about the whole company is being affected?"
"Sweetie, everyone is grabbing everyone around here. You can't walk into a supply closet, copy or conference room without catching some lip locking and groping. Soft-core porn wherever you look. It's like free Cinemax up there." She says pointing to the floors above us.
"Oh." I leaned back and sank into my seat. "Do you really think it's my fault?" I ask worriedly. I'm not really a boat rocker.
Alice gives me one of her, 'are you really that naïve?' looks. "No. However, the vibe you're sending is certainly not helping. I mean, damn girl. Have you looked at yourself lately?"
"Huh?" I utter lamely, quickly looking down at my attire.
"Bella, you've gone from wearing bulky cardigans and long skirts that covered your entire body to wearing much more revealing clothes." She moved her hands in an hourglass motion. "Your hair is down; the glasses are gone. You look like a 1960's sex kitten." I felt the blush of embarrassment rise to my cheeks. I tug at my skirt and go to close the last button on my blouse.
"Stop. You look beautiful." I searched her eyes and saw the sincerity. Alice and I aren't super close, but I consider her a friend. She's always very nice. She stops to talk to me whenever she passes through the lobby. We have friendly chats daily. We go to dinner every once in a while, movie night has happened here and there. Alice has invited me to go out with her and the others from above, but I've never been comfortable in large groups so I've never taken her up on her offer. My dad, Charlie keeps saying I need friends; maybe it would be easier to make friends if I start with Alice's friends?
Easy path. Thy name is Bella Swan.
"Thank you," I murmured, with a shy smile. I'm flattered that someone as pretty and put-together as Alice has given me a compliment.
"You're welcome, Honey. Hey, we're going to Eclipse tonight. Do you want to come?"
Here it is. Here's my chance to make new friends.
"Um, will there be a lot of people there?"
"Well, me, Emmett and I think Rose and Angela are coming. Oh, and Jasper might stop by later." I nod at her words. I know the people she's mentioned, except for Jasper. I assume he works upstairs with Alice. I have actually spoken to Angela and Emmett. Angela is always very sweet when she asks me for help and Emmett never passes my desk without a cheerful "Good morning, Bella, and a dimpled smile before he disappears upstairs.
"Okay." I can barely get the word out before I want to snatch it back.
"Really?" Alice asks, her eyes wide in surprise. That's great! I promise you'll have a great time. We'll pick you up here after work."
"Wait, don't I need to go home and change?" Volturi, Inc has a strict dress code for their employees and I hate it. I detest the skirts that make my hips look wide, the fitted blouses always seem to be tight over my shoulders causing me to have to execute proper posture, which in turn has my modest C cups straining against their buttoned prison. I was never one to wear heels. Instead grabbing the lowest heeled shoe, I could get my hands on. Not because I wasn't capable of wearing such footwear. Rather because it drew unwanted attention to my much-too round bottom. After a couple of unwelcomed gropes when I waited tables in college, I did whatever I could to cover that thing up. But Mr. Volturi was of the opinion that women should wear heels and men should wear dress shoes. I shouldn't gripe too much. I was a year out of college with a degree in business and a minor in human resources and I'd already landed an entry level job in a multi-national corporation. And by entry level, I literally mean I work at the entry of the building.
"No. there won't be time to change if we want to get a good table," Alice said. "Besides, you look hot, you never know, you might meet the man of your dreams." She sings the last part of her sentence.
"Fine." I huff and roll my eyes as Alice gives a short laugh at my obvious discomfort.
"Cheer up, Buttercup. I'll buy your first fruity drink." Alice promises with a wink before hurrying back towards the waiting elevators.
I watch her disappear into the silver boxes before turning my attention to my waiting desktop.
As I greet visitors, directing them to the correct Volturi offices, answering emails and working on my daily spreadsheets, I manage to catch glimpses of Edward working in his glass-enclosed office.
He's busy. Lots of people in and out. I quickly note that he's working alone. I wonder briefly, where the Blond Dude is today.
Blond Dude usually works by Edward's side.
I'm just finishing the morning's visitor logs and employee attendance sheets, when the timer on my phone dings, alerting me that it's time for my mandated ten o'clock morning break. Grabbing my Contigo coffee mug, I put my 'I'll be right back' placard on my desk, before giving a little wave to Mr. Banner, the kindly guard that sits just inside the bank of large glass entry doors. He returns my smile, letting me know he'll watch my desk while I indulge in my morning Edward interlude.
Edward's office is empty.
I'm late.
Rushing back to the break room, I stop and take a moment to pause outside the door to catch my breath. Taking a deep breath to calm my hammering heart, I plaster a smile on my flushed face and casually, or at least try to casually walk into the break room.
Volturi, Inc., employs four-hundred people in this building. They are spread over the first five floors of the building and every floor has a dedicated break rooms where the employees can grab a snack, soda or a cup of coffee. There is a sink, refrigerator, microwave, soda and candy machines as well as two coffee makers. These are usually fairly large rooms with enough tables that it isn't a problem if you choose to sit by yourself. But since the lobby is shared with other businesses, and not solely occupied by Volturi, Inc. employees, we have a much smaller, more intimate breakroom with only one round table.
Perfect for Edward watching.
When I walk into the room, I see that he's already seated at the table, but to my dismay he's not alone. Tanya, from the insurance office that's housed next to his investment banking office, is seated next-actually, far too close to my Edward.
While I stand there in in disbelief, Edward looks up from their conversation and gives me a small smile.
Tanya, however gives me an icy glare.
I immediately put my head down and turn away from them. I focus on the coffee station in hopes that Edward won't see the heat that's covering my face at seeing the two of them together.
As I pour copious amounts of my salted caramel mocha coffee creamer into my cup, I hear snippets of Edward and Tanya's conversation.
My desire to know everything about Edward knows no bounds. Eavesdropping on conversations is my new normal
"I don't know, Tanya. I have a lot to do tonight." I casually stir my coffee as I listen and wonder if Edward plans on doing laundry tonight and that's why he can't go out with Tanya. Maybe I should offer my services? I mean, I wear clean clothes daily.
I'm obviously good at laundry.
"C'mon, Edward, it'll be fun." Tanya whines as her fake fingernails twirl a lock of her fake blonde hair.
Ugh! I could practically hear her cleavage trying to mount Edward's arm. My mouth curls up as I taste my coffee; I briefly wonder if the creamer has gone bad or if the sound of Tanya's voice is so distasteful that it has curdled my creamer?
"I'm sure it would be but I'm going to be busy." I smile into the rim of my cup as Edward, again declines her offer.
"I'll make sure to make it worth your while." Tanya's voice dips deceptively lower, I'm sure she would consider it sexy.
I don't.
Does Edward?
"Do you remember how much fun we had the last time we hung out?" A feeling of dread washes over me as I wonder exactly what kind of fun they'd had. I resume stirring my coffee to hide the fact that my hand is shaking as I envision all the things they could have done together.
"Remember how hard I made your-"My spoon clatters to the counter top at her not so subtle insinuation.
"Hey, Bella." Edward quickly interrupts what I'm sure was going to be an R-rated statement. My mind registers that the object of my affection has addressed me, but I'm still caught up in what Tanya claims to have made hard.
"Bella?" Edward repeats.
"Um, hi." I turn and quickly bring my cup up to my lips to cover both the embarrassment of being discovered as an eavesdropper and the all too obvious elation I feel at hearing Edward say my name.
"How is your day going?" Edward asks in the sweet yet masculine voice, I'm addicted to. As suspected the blue in his shirt has indeed caused those gorgeous green eyes appear even more beautiful.
"It's going well, how about you?" I automatically shoot back at him. Small talk. That's all we ever have.
It's probably all we'll ever have. It's nice, but I long for us to have a real conversation where we can share parts of our lives with each other. More than the fact that I yearn to have physical contact with him, I want Edward to know me.
"I'm good. It's really busy today." He answers smoothly with a quick flash of perfectly positioned teeth. Tanya's beady blue eyes grow even narrower as we talk. She's clearly not happy that Edward is paying attention to me. I inwardly do a perky and perfectly executed back flip of excitement. It's not often that women feel threatened by my presence. And the fact that he stopped speaking to her to speak to me-well, that's better than finding a forgotten five dollar bill in your winter coat pocket.
"Well, you are doing all of the work today." I joke while trying not to grin too widely, lest Edward thinks I'm a loon for noticing that Blond Dude isn't in today, causing him to wonder if perhaps I should have a full-time handler or should be wearing a sign cautioning the public to not engage my crazy.
"Oh, you noticed that?" He asks with a smirk. Crap! I just admitted to watching/spying on him. I can feel my face warm in embarrassment.
Edward looks so sexy when he flashes that crooked smirk. I'm even more entranced when his eyes darken and join the sexy parade. He has me weaving like a Cobra to his siren's song.
"Ahhhh-"I know my mouth has opened to allow words to come out, but all I hear is the sound of air escaping my body under the onslaught of his innate sexiness.
"Edward, did you ever find my earring? It was one of my favorites." Tanya rudely interrupts my trance as she attempts to regain his full attention.
It works, he turn back towards her. "No. I told you it's not there." My eyes pop slightly at the tone of his voice. Edward seems slightly irritated at Tanya.
And I'm okay with that.
"But I know I took them off in your apartment. Maybe I should come over and look?" She insists as her hand takes up residence on his right forearm and squeezes it suggestively. Tanya's eyes flash to mine, making it clear that she's been to his home.
I've never been to his home.
I've never even been inside his shiny silver Volvo.
Edward heaves an irritated sigh, but addresses the fake blonde-haired woman. "Tan, I told you I looked, it's-"
"Well, I gotta go," I say, interrupting him as I tap my non-watch wearing wrist, indicating that my break was over and begin walking out of the breakroom before Edward can see the full impact that her words has had on me.
"Oh, okay, bye." Edward mutters behind me as I make my escape.
"Bye, bye, Bella." Tanya snickers behind me. My knuckles go white from the death grip I have on my cup as I try not to toss it and its content at her stupid blonde head.
I keep my head down for the rest of the day, taking on more work from the HR department gives me plenty of reasons to not focus on you.
Even if I desperately want to.
Despite the possibility, or probability, that Edward has slept with Tanya, I know that he will still star in every fantasy I have and the compulsion to watch him gracefully maneuver around his office, greeting and taking care of his guests, is still off the charts.
I know, I'm a sick puppy.
While the sign on the door says, Cullen Investments, it looks more like a modeling agency when Edward is in the room. He moves around his roomy office as easily as a super model walks a catwalk. And Derek Zoolander has nothing on Edward's chiseled jaw.
With a sigh, I set my mind back to my tasks and remind myself that no good can come from wanting what I'll never have. Over the last year that I've worked for Volturi, Inc., Edward and I have shared the breakroom dozens of times; we've exchanged pleasantries and have even managed a few short conversations covering more than weather. I hoard those bits and pieces of his life like a dragon watching over its treasure. Surprisingly, Edward has always been willing to share information during our breaks.
I know he has an older sister named Kate who insists on calling him 'Eddie' and teases him about his unruly hair. I happen to think Edward's golden-brown-reddish hair is wonderfully unique.
I know that his father is a doctor, I gleaned this little nugget one morning when you were griping to Blond Dude, evidently, Edward's father had wanted him to follow in his footsteps but he can't handle the sight of blood. Neither can I. We already have that in common.
Edward thinks that people who consider it a holiday when Starbucks starts making Pumpkin Spice Lattes again need to "get a grip". We'll have to agree to disagree on that one.
He's a dog person, but if he weren't allergic to cats, he'd have one or two of those too. I'm also a dog lover who is allergic to cats.
He won't eat cold sandwiches but will eat nearly anything if it's toasted. Including a tuna sub. Again, agree to disagree. Hot tuna? Yuck?
Edward dislikes shaving every day and having to wear suits but understand that his clients don't want a "Scruffy looking nerf herder" handling their money. Personally, I like his scruffy look. And I would let him handle a lot more than my money.
The object of my affection drives a silver Volvo because he lost his virginity in one when he were seventeen and has very fond memories of that car. I spat my coffee out when he told that story to Blond Dude in the break room.
I don't think he noticed.
I hope he didn't notice.
He probably noticed.
Edward knows the words to all of the songs that play through our building PA system and routinely sings them in a deep sultry voice that makes my legs weak and my heart beat faster, as he putters around the office and the building. I tried to get a copy of the disc but evidently the company pays for that service and I could go to jail for pirating a copy.
Damn!
I'm so lost in my daydreaming of all that is Edward, that I don't see him leave for lunch. A lost opportunity to ogle his cute butt walking out of the building.
I hate missed opportunities like that.
Luckily, I don't miss his return. I smile and wave as he walks in holding up what I presume is a toasted, sub sandwich. He flashes me a goofy grin with a head nod toward the breakroom. Is he inviting me to have lunch? Edward has never invited me to lunch before. We just happen to coincidently. Maybe not coincidently take our lunch at the same time. I usually sit slightly to his left while he and the Blond Dude (I should really try to learn his name) eat together and chat. But 'BD' isn't here today. Maybe he's looking for someone to sit with? I think about my lunch that sits in the breakroom refrigerator, containing my turkey and swiss on rye with container of veggies with hummus. I could easily meet him in the breakroom with my little lunch. We could sit at the lone table with our food and talk about-what would be talk about?
Movies?
Music?
Books? Oh, lord, please let Edward be a reader.
I could tell him about the time my dog, Bear got loose in the neighborhood only to get himself trapped in a stranger's yard by a fence; he whined so loudly that I could pinpoint his whereabouts as I walked throughout the neighborhood. I had to rescue my sixty-pound Chow Chow from the mean ol' eight-inch fence. He would like that story seeing as he's a dog lover.
Or maybe we could discuss our respective college experiences?
We could talk about the differences in our families. Me being an only child and Edward having had the privilege of a sibling.
I excitedly get up from my desk, banging my knee on the stupid filing cabinet as I rush towards the breakroom.
Hobbling into the lunchroom, I see Edward standing in front of the open fridge. I open my mouth to ask him to grab my lunch tote when Tanya's voice rings out.
"Edward! I saved you a seat, babe." My heart plummets at Tanya's invitation. Edward looks up from the fridge with a bottle of mustard in his hand and turns towards her screeching. He looks back at me with an expectant look on his face but I remain motionless as Tanya shrieks again from the table.
I lower my eyes to the floor and turn away from the room, unable to bear watching you walk away from me and back to her.
I hear what sounds like a heavy sigh as I walk away.
Once again, my stomach is tied up in knots thinking about you and Tanya. I decide to forgo lunch completely to avoid watching her attempt to seduce you over toasted sub sandwiches.
I return to my work and with my mind occupied, my appetite returns. I'm still not going to subject myself to seeing Edward and Tanya together, canoodling at our break table. Instead, I fish around in my desk finding a stale granola bar to satisfy my grumbling stomach.
I wash it down with lukewarm coffee and regret.
I regret every allowing myself to entertain the idea that you and I might or could become something more than two people who share space in this vast building.
I regret
And I regret that I don't think more of myself.
My meager lunch does little to quiet my hunger. I promise it that I'll order nachos or a giant cheeseburger at the bar. Crap? Do they serve food at the place we were going? Would the others get food? Would it look weird if I was the only one eating?
As my inner musings warred with themselves, I resume my work. Time seems to crawl, but then it always does when Edward wasn't within eyesight.
Eventually I him return from lunch. I look up from my desk, halfway ashamed of myself for succumbing to the temptation to watch him walk across the lobby. My heart dips as he rushes by my desk without even a glance my way. I notice that his steps are hurried and heavy as he walks into his office.
Curious. I look through the window only to watch him pull the heavy drapes. In the twelve months I've been watching Edward through the window, he's only pulled the drapes twice. Once when he was recovering from a mild concussion after roughhousing with his brother in-law over Thanksgiving and once when he had a major hangover after celebrating his Irish heritage on St. Patrick's Day.
Why would he pull the shades today?
With his beautiful face conspicuously hidden from me, I have nothing to do but focus on my work.
Three o'clock passes without Edward coming out of the office again. With my stomach still protesting the lack of lunch, I amble into the empty breakroom and greedily eat my sandwich standing over the sink like a hungover frat boy.
After scarfing down my late lunch, I grab a bottle of water and scurry back to my desk. My shoulders feel weighted down with unease. I worry that Edward's blinds are down in an effort to hide from me. I worry that Tanya mentioned my unabashed staring from earlier. Could Edward be so repulsed by the thought that he choose to sit in a dark office all day to avoid me?
Those thoughts and a million more circle my head for the rest of the day.
"Bella Bear, how's it hanging?" My head jerks up at the sound of Emmett's booming voice. Alice and the rest of the group she mentioned earlier are following behind him.
"Um, fine?" I answer, never sure what to say to that particular question. Exactly what is supposed to be hanging?
"Fine? Let's see if we can do better than that. Close it up, Buttercup. Let's get this show on the road." In spite of myself, I giggle at him and begin logging off and shutting down the system for the weekend.
"Bella, you know everyone, right?" Alice asks. I nod and offer Rosalie and Angela a smile. They each say hello in return.
I gather my purse and join the group. As we begin the block walk to the bar, I quickly glance at Edward's windows. The drapes are still drawn. I sigh, upset that I won't get that last look to sustain me through the next two days.
"You okay?" Alice asks, following my line of vision to your closed off office. Her eyebrow rises as I nod. She doesn't believe me, but doesn't say anything more. I'm grateful for that.
"C'mon sweetie, I think you're going to be very happy you decided to join us," she says with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. "Let's go get you the first of many fruity beverages." She links her arm with mine and tugs me towards the waiting group.
"So then I told Marcus that he could take his mandatory overtime and shove it up his lily-white ass." Emmett's statement has me bent over in giggles. The rest of the table shakes their heads and ignores him but I suddenly find the image of one of the Volturi brothers' bent over Emmett's desk hilarious; even though the rest of that table offers insistent statements calling him a liar.
"Okay, you're cut off." Alice insists. "Here drink the water." My droopy eyes land on the bottle of water that's put in front of me.
"No! I want another one of these!" I proclaim loudly, probably too loudly, holding up my all but empty glass that a moment ago held an amazing blue elixir that has turned me into a loud and happy girl. It has also numbed the pain of knowing that Edward was avoiding me all afternoon.
"Dude, Bella is lit. I like it!" I try to fist pump Emmett, but misjudge the distance and end up punching Rose's right boob."
"Girl, you better start buying me more drinks if you're going to try to touch the goods." I giggle when Emmett's eyes get bigger when Rose adjusts her ample cleavage while shooting an entranced Emmett a quick wink.
"Sorry." I slur and slump back into my chair.
"No worries, but you probably should listen to Alice." The aforementioned bottle of water is pushed closer to me.
"But I want to forget. And water doesn't do that it only makes me need to pee!"
"Yeah, well that's the idea."
"Fine!" I declare and dutifully take a big drink.
"Emmie Bear…" My voice is foreign to me; I sound, giddy, and carefree. I should always sound like this I decide.
"Yes, Bella Bear…"
"Will you dance with me?"
"Is that a good idea?" He asks the other girls. They all nod.
"Yes, moving around will get the alcohol out of her system faster." Rose says, shooing him off his chair and in my direction.
"Exactly, but watch her. She can barely stay upright." I stick my tongue out at Angela's observation, but the motion knocks me off balance and I teeter back into my seat.
"See?" Alice asks, obviously amused at my lack of coordination.
My spirits rise as Emmett lifts me up and we walk over to the dance floor. The music is fast paced and the bass is booming. Exactly what I need to forget the feelings of straight up rejection I experienced at the hands of my unrequited crush.
Emmett's hands hold me firmly at my waist, keeping me from falling as we bop around. Well, I'm doing most of the bopping and Emmett is more like swaying and laughing as I move in uncoordinated arm and leg jabs.
Alice was right, the bar is busy tonight. There are many dancers sharing the floor. Emmett pulls me closer as the throngs move in tightly around me. I'm still jostled a bit, but he keeps me upright.
I smile appreciatively up at my new friend and notice his dimples and blue eyes. Emmett is very attractive.
Why hadn't I noticed that before?
Maybe I should try to forget about Edward and-
"Do you think Rose likes me?" Emmett's question catches me off guard in mid thought. There goes moving my crush to this sweet man.
As if I could just drop my Edward infatuation.
"Um…" I think about what happened at the table when Rose was shifting her boobs around. She obviously enjoyed his attentions. "Yeah, I think so." His eyes widen and those cute dimples become even cuter craters in his masculine face.
"Seriously? I really like her." I nod. It's not as if I know Rose or Emmett all that well, but I don't need to be their best friends to be able to see the obvious.
I mean, duh! Even through my alcohol-induced haze, I could see his appreciative glances her way and the cute little blush that rises to his dimpled cheeks every time he talks to talk to her. For her part, Rose is a bit more sophisticated in her appreciation of my new best friend. She is able to speak to him in complete sentences without blushing, and includes him in every topic of conversation. When the waitress momentarily took his attention, well, only a blind person would miss the narrowing of her eyes and firm set of her lips as the redhead playfully flirted with the big man.
"Awesome! She's smart, sassy, funny, driven and sexy as hell." He grins widely. His happiness is quickly bursting my little bubble. I turn away from the grinning fool and face the crowd hoping to regain my 'Forget Edward because he's a butt', buzz.
Behind me, I can hear Emmett still extolling Rose's virtues as I sway. I close my eyes and attempt to tune everyone out for a moment. The water I drank and the physical exertion is beginning to work. But I'm not ready to relinquish its hold on my inhibitions or emotions. I want to pretend I'm pretty, smart and accomplished enough to interest Edward A. Cullen and then pretend that he's missing out because he rather associate with the likes of Tanya Denali over me.
I decide that the best course of action is to go back to the table, ignore Alice's looks and order maybe, one or three more drinks.
Resolved in my plan, I open my eyes only to see that Edward is staring right at me from across the floor. His brows are furrowed and his perfect lips are set in a firm line. I watch captivated by the clenching of that square jaw that I long to draw my fingers across. Like me, he's still wearing he work clothes, and the flashing lights on the dance floor only enhance your eyes.
They shine like emeralds.
He's so beautiful but look so angry. I want to believe his disapproving look is directed at someone else, but can't since he's staring right at me.
I can't win!
I pull Emmett's hand off my hip and drag him off the floor. Desperate to get away from Edward's hateful gaze.
"What's the hurry?" Emmett asks, peering behind us back to the dance floor. "Look, its Edward. Hey, Edwa-" I give Emmett's arm a ferocious tug, causing him to stumble into me.
"Hey, what's this about?'
"Don't call over to him." I order.
"Who? Edward? Why?"
"Because he hates me." Hearing the words put a reality to the feelings. I drop Emmett's arm, leaving him to stand confused at the edge of the dancefloor. I rush back to the table, determined to gather my things and leave before Edward is subjected to my presence.
"What happened?" Angela asks, when I lean down to grab my purse from the floor.
"I have to-"
"Bella, what the hell is goin-"Emmett arrives back to the table and sits heavily into his vacated chair. He's clearly frustrated with me but before he can finish his rant, he's interrupted by Alice's excited squeal.
"Jasper! You made it." Her eyes dance happily, as they focus just beyond my left shoulder.
Dread washes over me. What would be the odds that Jasper is Blonde Dude?
"Hey, J, Edward." Emmett's greeting confirms my fear, waving his arm in the aforementioned direction.
Yes, my luck is truly that bad.
"Let me grab a couple more chairs." Emmett pushes aside his frustration with me and gathers two more chairs. He puts one to Alice's right, between her and Angela and predictably, next to me on my left. I'm still bent over my chair with my purse clutched tightly to my chest and my ample butt sticking up and out; probably right in Edward's perfect face.
I can already imagine his grimace.
I look into Angela's face for guidance. She smiles and shrugs her shoulders.
All my life, I've always taken the path of least resistance. When I was ten years old, I wanted to take drum lessons but my mother wanted me to take piano like she did as a child. So, I dutifully took piano. In high school, I wanted to join the drama club, but again my mother wanted something different. So, I joined chorus instead. The one thing I've ever insisted on was attending college in Seattle instead of the junior college in Port Angeles. And what does that decision do? It puts me right on the path to meet Edward A. Cullen. Once again, I take the easy path. I love him from a distance, I allow myself to feel unworthy of his attention because I don't look like Tanya or Rose. And now I'm allowing his rejection from this afternoon to cause me to leave my new friends?
It's got to stop.
I don't know where the strength comes from. Maybe it's the fact that my heart has been on a yo-yo string ever since I first laid eyes on him? Or perhaps the copious amounts of liquid courage I've ingested this evening? Regardless of the cause I wordlessly regain take my seat. However, in an act of defiance to my hammering heart, I angle my body away from him and closer to Angela, pretending that your nearness has no effect on me. Even with the distance I can feel his body heat on my arm, he's are so close. I resist the urge to look to my left. Instead, I look across the table where Rose is eyeing me with a raised eyebrow. I don't know her well, but I recognize the 'just what the hell is going on between you two?' look she's giving me.
I shake her off with a quick dismissive headshake. And reach for my water.
"Beer?" Emmett asks. From the corner of my eye I see Edward nod and watch Emmett pour two beers; setting one down in front of Edward and Blonde Du- I mean, Jasper.
Emmett and Alice take charge and soon the table is involved in their conversation.
Everyone but me.
And Edward.
I sit stiffly beside him trying to follow the rapid pace of the conversation happening around me. I notice that he's holding himself as stiffly as I am and I can only assume it's because he's upset to be sitting so closely to me.
The legs of my chair screech loudly against the concrete floor as I shift closer to Angela. She smiles and shifts a bit to accommodate my encroachment into her space.
I hear his loud sigh of what I can only assume is relief when I move over.
I try to focus my attention on anything else other than the man sitting beside me. I tune into the conversation going on around me. Apparently, Emmett met Edward and Jasper at the gym and discovered that they all work in the same building, which of course led the three of them becoming best friends. Then Alice chimes in that she bumped into Jasper at a hot dog stand in the city and was surprised to find out that once again 1208 Third Avenue has brought people together. Curiously, the most surprising tidbit of that remark is that petite, fastidiously dressed Alice is a closet hot dog junkie.
The whole table begins to share their stories about how they came to find themselves all spending eight – nine hours a day in the same high rise.
Although my body is taut with the tension and stress of being in your presence, I still find it interesting to hear everyone's story.
Rose and Angela both attended private colleges; Rose is a graduate of Whitman College in Walla Walla, Washington and Angela went to Gonzaga. Rose and Angela both have marketing degrees with minors in English. They seem quite suited to be working in the marketing department.
Alice and Emmett both attended Washington State and actually knew each other before landing at Volturi, Inc. There was mention of a streaking episode that landed Emmett on the front of the school paper that really needed more details, but Emmett shut that discussion down quickly. Alice has a liberal arts degree with minors in human resources and business management. To my surprise, Emmett has a master's degree in finance. That along with his undergrad degree in business management has put him on the fast track to take over as Assistant Director of the Finance for the Western branch of Volturi, Inc. I would never have guessed the big charming, yet goofy guy was so accomplished. I have been misreading all of these people.
Jasper chimes in with how Edward and he were college roommates at the University of Washington. After graduation, they decided to go into business together. With degrees in finance, economics and business Edward is more than qualified to run his own firm, but to do it so young is very impressive. This is stuff I already know but thanks to Jasper's last admission, I was shocked and impressed to learn that Edward is currently earning a Master's of Science in Finance from Seattle U. and that it's his dream to open a large firm dedicated to helping people of all wealth levels achieve financial security.
Wow!
All too soon, everyone's eyes turn to me, expecting me to share my story. I feel like such an underachiever next to these accomplished people. Couple that with my natural tendency to be an observer over being a participant and my silence draws out until it's almost painful.
"Bella also attended UW." Edward's voice rings out loud and sure from beside me. All eyes tunr to towards him, but none as quickly as mine. His eyes are focused solely on me as if I'm the only person in the bar.
I can't look away him.
"She has a degree in business and a minor in human resources" My mouth falls open in astonishment. The whole table goes silent as he continues giving them my life's story.
"She's an only child, she can play the piano but really wants to play the drums, she landed at Volturi, Inc after college because there was nothing for her back in her home town of Forks, her dog's name is Bear, because he, well, looks like a teddy-bear, and…" his voice lowers as he leans closer to me. His cherry colored lips are practically touching my cheek.
"And she thinks no one notices her. But I do, and I think she's beautiful."
Stunned.
I'm completely stunned by what you've said. I stare silently into your green eyes hoping to see a clue that will tell me how you know all of that information. But there's nothing but pools of deep forest green staring back at me.
"How…" I manage to finally croak. Suddenly, my mouth is drier than the Sahara.
"I watch you through the window too." His admission makes my mouth drop open in silent surprise.
I thought I'd been stunned before but that admission stops all brain function for several moments.
How long did I sit there, mouth open in astonishment? Eyes wide in surprise and stunned into silence?
Five, ten, thirty minutes?
I don't know. Time stops when the impossible suddenly becomes…Maybe?
"You…you mean you…you watch me?" I finally manage to stammer.
Edward lean back, smiles shyly while rubbing the back his neck. "Um, yeah. But totally not in a creeper kind of way. I promise."
My mind is spinning.
Edward watches me?
He knows I watch him?
He thinks I'm beautiful?
I grab for the nearest glass, I need a drink to put out the fever that has obviously started to boil my brain.
"Hey, that's mine!" Emmett squeals as I chug his beer.
I finish the gross tasting stuff and slam the glass back onto the table with a resounding thud, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Very unladylike. My mother would be appalled.
Who cares?
I don't.
"Holy shit! That's a twenty-ounce beer. Did you all see her down that huge beer?" Rose quickly shushes Emmett's astonishment with a wave of her hand. He continues to grumble but all eyes are back on me.
"How do you know all that stuff about me?"
"Um, I ah, I sometimes overhear you talking to Alice." Edward admits sheepishly as the tips of his ears tinge with redness.
Oh. My. God. He's blushing!
Because he likes me!
"Why did you pull your blinds today?" I asked, remembering how hurt I was when he hid from me all day.
God. I sound like such a stalker.
Edward leaned back in his chair and rubbed hand over his chin as if he were trying to scrub the sexy stubble off his gorgeous face.
Finally, Edward leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, moving closer to me. His gaze locked with mine, like so many times in the last year, I'm helpless to look away.
"Because you rejected me first." My mouth falls open at his admittance.
"What? When?" I ask in a rush. The man is wrong I have never rejected him. Ever!
"I invited you to have lunch, and you ignored me."
Whaaaaat?
"No. You were having lunch with Tanya." I defended.
Edward shook his head in denial.
"I heard her." I blurt out defensively. The whole building heard her, at least the first floor did.
"Bella, she was just eating lunch at the same time. That's it." My mind mulls over the plausibility that you're right.
Could that be true?
"No. She called to you and you went to meet her." I press.
"I wanted to eat with you, but you ignored me." Edward sounds hurt.
Did I do that? I quickly replay the noontime events in my head.
Oh no. He's right. That's exactly what I did. My protective wall crumbles a bit.
Wait.
"What about the earring she left at your house?" I point a finger into his hard chest.
Even in the darkness of the club, Edward visibly pales.
"Um, that was one time, six months ago." My bluster evaporates at his answer. I already knew there was something between the two of them. I also know that I have no right to his past. I knew all of that, and yet I still asked.
And he explained. But he doesn't have to.
"Edward, you don't have to explain. "
"She wants more. I don't. I want-"
"What do you want?" I blurt out. My mouth goes dry and my breathing picks up in anticipation of his answer and what it could mean for both of us.
Edward leans in until his mouth is right at my ear. That scent. That indescribable Edward scent surrounds me like a cloud giving me a hug. I feel my eyelids close as I breathe him in.
"I want you." Edward says quietly.
All of the air in my lungs rushes out of my body.
Edward lets out a deep breath and leans back into his chair. He looks anxious as I process what he just said.
Me?
He wants me?
Seriously?
"Why did you look so angry when you saw me on the dance floor?
Edward's eyes darken suddenly. I'm transfixed as his tongue snakes out to lick his lips. When he reaches out to take my hand, my body reacts as if I've just stuck my finger into a light socket.
His touch is electrifying.
Edward leaned in closer, basically blocking out the rest of the people at our table. "Because he had his hands on you. It should have been my hands on your voluptuous hips. I want to feel your heat spread over me as I hold you close. I want your delectable scent to envelop me as your taste dissolves on my tongue. I need to hear my name fall from your lips when you come apart in my arms."
"Oh." I breathe out slowly.
"Is that all you have to say?" Edward, released my hand and sat back in his chair. He runs a hand through his hair and looks away with a look of embarrassment on his face.
As my mind slowly catches up to what Edward has just said, I realize that he's just told me everything I've dreamed of hearing Edward say to me.
He's just blown open the doors I've been hiding behind. He's telling me I can have what I want.
"I don't want to just watch you through the window anymore." I stutter out.
Edward's lips instantly curl up into a relieved smile.
Did he think that I wouldn't want the same things he did?
I reach over and retake his hand, squeezing it tightly as I meet his soft gaze.
"No more just watching through windows." Edward states. I nod immediately in complete agreement.
"I want to kiss you." I blurt out. Edward's smile widens and his eyes light up at my take charge statement.
Before I can think about what I've just said, Edward leans in and changes my world.
His lips are as soft as I'd fantasized, they were.
Edward's hand lands on my face, tilting my head to meet his insistent lips. I shiver in response.
My hands clutch at his shirt, the blue cotton wrinkling in my grasp. Earlier today I dreamt about washing it as a sign of my affection. Now, I want to rip it from his body, throwing it to crumple into a corner of my bedroom as he makes good on his earlier statements.
"Holy shit!" Emmett's exuberant statement jolts me, and I pull away from Edward's lips. He reluctantly release my mouth but keeps a hold of my neck, keeping us connected.
"Um, we should-"
"Take this somewhere private." Edward expertly finishes my statement.
In one quick movement, Edward gets up from his chair, and pulls my pliant body up against his.
"Enjoy the rest of your night." Edward says to the rest of the group, with a smile and a suggestive wink before gently pulling me away. I take a look around the table and see the knowing smirk on Alice and Jasper's faces and surprise on Rose, Emmett and Angela's faces. I can feel a blush begin to creep up my cheeks.
"Shouldn't we be saying that to you?" Emmett shouts out as we walk away.
Edward guides us easily through the crowded bar. No words are spoken until we're on the sidewalk.
"Coffee?" Edward asks, twining his fingers with mine. "I would like to sit somewhere quiet so we can talk, to each other." He adds with a laugh, referencing both of our eavesdropping crimes.
"Yes, please." I answer breathlessly.
We begin walking towards the nearest Starbuck, and pass a brightly lit storefront. As we pass, our reflections are visible. I stop abruptly; Edward is tugged back to my side by our joined hands. His smile meets my gaze in the reflection.
"Do you know how many times I dreamt about a moment like this?" I ask as he moves behind me. His arms come around to meet over my stomach as he gently pulls me tightly into his body.
"You don't have to dream about it anymore." Edward nuzzles my neck. A strong sense of contentment washes over me.
A car horn blares loudly behind us, breaking the bubble.
"Come one, we have a lot of time to catch up on." Edward place a hot kiss on my neck before tugging me away from the glass and toward the coffee shop.
I couldn't agree more.