1hey guys... its been a hard few weeks. College pretty much sucks. here's a dose of Some angst and fluff to help
p.s yes I'm trying to cheer myself up with this
inspired by
Worst In Me by Julia Michael's
college AU
Mari and the crew are all 20, and so Luka is 22.
Marinette was not having a good day.
scratch that, she was having a bad week. College was driving her up a wall, creatively draining her and her bank account.
The mere thought of class or assignments made her nauseous.
She wandered around her small flat she co-rented with Alya and Nino. Yeah she admitted that it sounded like she was a constant third wheel but rent was expensive and Nino made good money with his DJ gigs.
She stopped at the small card on her table, Adrien apologized for their newest spat. Adrien had gone out with some of his model friends at a new club and that wouldn't have been a problem if he didn't bring the party back to her loft to celebrate. He was sent to bed in Nino work after spilling half a bottle of wine that cost more then a month of their rent all over their new rug.
Marinette knew she should feel worried but all she felt was tired, last month he broke a lamp and the month before he crashed into the Flats closet of plates and cups. They kept telling him he needed to get help but he insisted he was fine. He was just blowing off steam from all the work his father made him do these days.
He'd been blowing off steam ever since they all went off to college. Marinette was tired of it.
A little voice in her head keot whispering that she didn't want to work on this anymore. She was annoyed and tired. And she was so sorry for all of those thoughts.
Marinette had started going out with Adrien when they were 17, they were in love. well Marinette was in love, Adrien had broken up with Kagami a few month prior and they had been out with their friends, they walked by the canal in the starlight, swining their feet off of the bridge. They leaned in and kissed. Marinette thought that it ment something real at the time but now... She didn't know.
Marinette had cried the first few times Adrien came over after his partys. she had been the sad and confused girlfriend begging for her boyfriend to get help. Then a year passed, and then another one, now they were here.
She didn't know where to go from here.
She had started writing down her feelings for The situation after a particularly bad incident when she had to go pick him up from the club. He said so many things that she wished he didn't. She said so many things that She wished she hadn't.
She had been jealous. Coming to save him and he was fine. whiskey in one hand and the other wrapped around 'Just a friend' Andrea.
Tall, leggy, Asian decent. He had a type and Marinette was the first one to point that out to him... He was the first to point out that she didn't know what it ment to be in a relationship. well she thought she did in that moment. He followed it up with some cruel words, saying she purposefully lead on friends and that he never did that at least.
She never felt more like a villain. and it wasn't even true.
She went home with him an hour after when the model he was with called her saying he passed out. she brought him to her loft at 3 in the morning and left him on her bed, she glided over to an unused notebook for class and grabbed a bottle of wine they kept in the cabinet. Alya woke her up the next day at 12, saying Adrien had left before anyone had woken up. All she can remember from that moment was feeling a deep snap, wipping off her dried mascara tear streaks before going into her bathroom to brush the cheap wine off from her breath.
He sent a card.
they never talked about it again.
Marinette could remember the first few months of their relationship. The spring was just appearing in Paris and they would walk after school and talk until it got dark..
She remembered going to his shows and watching him as he floated across the stage. beautiful and kind. She was so proud of him.
They had gone to a party after Adrien won some award, or competition or article thing. honestly she couldn't remember if she wanted too. She remembers being in love, so deeply it made her head spin. she remembered the white suit he wore, he looked like a prince and she had been so proud of him.
The party was horrible. Drugs and alcohol were everywhere. She wanted to leave immediately, at the time Adrien did aswell. She remembers him saying they could leave after he went around thanking everyone. She should have made him leave then.
She didn't know what happened but after an hour she escaped heavy smell of smoke and Weed mixing in the air made her sick. She figured Adrien would come out and get her to leave. She remembered waiting for such a long time before he stumbled out, smelling of the same sickly air. His hair was a mess, white suit stained red with wine. He tasted like wine and something else when he kissed her.. she walked him home, he made promises of the future and the world. She was young and stupid enough to believe him.
She still has the photo of that day hanging on her wall. Him in his crisp white prince suit and her next to him in her dazzling home made Light pink dress.
The bright eyed smiles made her sick.
Marinette never pegged Adrien for the Bitter drunk. She never pegged him for someone to drink enough to even get drunk. They never did when they were 16 and allowed to get a little wine with their meal.
She never expected him to be banging on her door in the early hours of the morning, spewing hatred so dark and black she had to have Nino put him to bed while Alya stayed with her in her bathroom.
She hadn't reacted like that in awhile. She would listen to him and his hatred, his hatred of his father, the model industry, Her. She even listened to his deep hate for himself.
She could recite everything he felt perfectly back to him now. He would look at her sometimes and his face would twist into something far from his past self. She hated that face, full of bitterness and hatred. Nothing was spared from that look.
He looked at her like the world was trying to submerge him in all that it could before he gave in and drowned. He would look at her with that face and tell her all the things he hated.
She would never stop being Bitter that the list included everyone but one girl.
She walked to her normal coffee place, her headphones in her ears as she went.
Today she was determined to leave her phone at home and stay out until whatever stunt the blonde could pull was over.
She walked through the small store. Her favorite owner coming out to give her a hug and chat. Tikki was the kindest women on the planet, and the only person she could talk to about Adrien.
Tikki had found Marinette wandering around one night after she went out looking for Adrien in the city. On that stupid bridge of all places, crying while she threw stones into the Starlite canal. Tikki brought her back to the shop and listened to her, cup of hot chocolate in hand as everything came pouring out of her.
When she had finished Tikki brought down a photo of herself with a young man. His long black hair contrasted against Tikki's shining red hair as the two had their heads rested on each other. Tikki said it was her Husband Plagg, they had met when they were young and into the rock scene. She told her that Plagg had been sober for 10 years.
Marinette had found her ally in the endless struggle.
Needless to say the two had become very close, so close that plagg offered to talj to Adrien about the program. Marinette had burst out crying and only stopped when Tikki had gotten on a chair to smack her husbands head with a newspaper.
That had been roughly a year and a half ago.
After that Miraculous had become her normal spot. She would occasionally help out when they got swamped. She had been there enough to notice how strange the lighting seemed to be. The cafe didn't often have people play, usually it was Friday Poem sessions that Plagg absolutely loathed.
Imagen her surprise when a extremely familiar dark haired man popped on stage.
They talked all night.
Marinette hadn't seen Luka since he graduated from high school.
Luka had filled in the last 4 years. He went off to England to study Music composition and ended up staying for a few more months to record a piece with Jagged stone. He told her all about England and for the first time since she started college she actually felt like a college student. young and free of burdens, having fun and enjoying her youth.
He freaked out when she started to cry after he pointed out how slow and Melancholy.
Marinette told Luka about everything, from the drinking to the stress from college.
His face was stone cold, Bitterness and anger shone in his electric blue eyes. She could only give him a small smile and her number when they parted.
She wondered what it would feel like to kiss Luka.
After their first encounter they started hanging out more often, sometimes at Miraculous but usually at The Flat.
Nino and Alya loved hanging out with him as much as she did. They would hang out with beer and Videgames until one of them decided it was time to crash..
They continued this pattern for months, an unspoken rule was to enver invite Luka over when it was a night they knew Adrien had a show. The group didn't see much of Adrien these days. Neither did she for that matter.
One of the days they all gathered together for some snacks and games He burst in. 5'10 and probably a few bottles deep. His hair was a mess. His colar undone and the rest of the buttons off or missing.
He was upset at her , at them all for hanging out without him. He accused her of sleeping with Luka. he cursed and slammed a vase down onto the floor. He had bought her that this weekend flowers and all after she had to pick him up again.
She was mad, she was angry at him for say anything like that when he hung out with models at after partys. she was angry that he came here, into her home and she was angry that all she could feel was Bitter and numb.
She walked up to him and for the first time in her life hit another person. She was thinking of slapping him but she was a little too angry for that. The punch sent him to the floor. Tehy used to go to the Gym together before everything went down and even after she had switched to something a bit more aggressive.
He looked at her, bright prince hair all messed up like he just got out of bed. Innocent green eyes. He spoke the one thing she knew he was always thinking.
" Why are you not as perfect as Kagami"
" Because Im perfect as Me."
Nino called Adrien a cab that night.
Marinette just sat on the couch and reflected on how fucked up her relationship had become. How much she should have done and what she should have drawn thr line at.
She was bitter. Because she couldnt stop thinking abouy what she really wanted to say to him, all the small things that built up, The moments of cruelty she withheld because she wasnt like him.
she was so angry. Because he made her feel all these twisted dark things.
Because all she could think about was how she wished she had said something diffrent after she punched him. Somthing that the absolute worst in her had been thinking for the last few years.
" Because she's too smart for this absolute shit mess you have become."
She didnt hear much from him after that. She couldnt. She told him when he was sober, in her living room with her roomated next to her, that He needed to get help. That she was done trying to take care of this for him. That she was so sorry for this pain inside of him.
That she was done and he needed to be too.
She watched him cry and break down before leaving.
Nino told her that Adrien went to rehab.
She told him she was glad.
College life flew by pretty fast. The stress from Adrien had left a space in her head that she turned into creativity. She pursued her life as a college student with her friends to the fullest. Concerts, Game nights, Cafe study groups.
She felt Free for the first time in years.
She started going out with Luka when she was 22, after seeing a therapist and clearing away any and all problems left from her last relationship. She wanted to start fresh for this relationship and she did.
While luka and her did fight like normal couples they also talk their problems out and respected eachother.
He propsed to her when she was 23 and he was 25. They didnt want anyone else.
They got married a year later.
Adiren had been sober for 4 years and he came with Kagami as his plus one and companion. He had reached out to the program and Plagg imediatly scooped the young man up. Tikki said that Adrien really became like a nephew to Plagg and an uncle of sorts to their kids. Tikki said that they loved Adrien like family and Marinette felt no bitterness, because she thought that they were the family he needed.
Marinette cried alot after her wedding. Like a second life had started. She couldnt feel lighter.