Crewmate, there are two impostors among us…


It was Fran who found the discrepancy in their files and as usual, it was Mari who found the body.

One of the tallest members of their twelve person crew, Nadia, was cut down to a mere three foot six. The upper half of her body was missing but Mari knew it was her because of her purple suit.

Mari immediately went to Captain Takahashi of the HFH Enterprise and he called an emergency meeting, summoning everyone to the cafeteria.

The last two to make it to the cafeteria are Kuro and Fran.

"What's the fuckin' problem?" Kuro asks, stomping into the cafeteria, Fran trailing behind him with a manila file tucked under her arm. "I was just about to do a Medbay scan for this b-"

"Nadia's dead." Mari says, interrupting Kuro. "She was cut clean in half so it wasn't something natural, that's for sure." she says.

"Oh dear." Sonoda sighs, not looking at all interested or concerned. "And here I was about to ask her if she was interested in some premium cannons I have connections to back on Earth." he says.

"D-Dead?" Ichiro stutters, looking at everyone with a panicked and suspicious look. "S-Someone's really dead? Listen, I-I have nothing to do with that! I only came here because Seizo asked me to! Some girl called Evelyn was sick and-"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up Ultimate Cousin." Takahashi says, waving him off. "Nobody cares why you're here. I want to know which one of you killed my crewmate."

Nobody speaks up.

"So it's gonna be like that." Takahashi sighs, rubbing his temples. "Fine." he says. "I need you dumbasses to actually use that thing in your head you call a brain and keep your eyes out while you're finishing up your tasks." he says, looking everyone in the eye. "Be smarter than Nadia and don't fucking die on me."

Seizo nods, a wary but determined smile on his face. "We can do it. Today's the last day, remember? We get to go home after all of our tasks are done. Then we can lay Nadia to rest." he says.

"Fjsdfjldck." a garbled, staticy sound interrupts Seizo's pep talk. Everyone looks towards their pink-clad crewmate, Hiiro. He's trying to speak but it seems like something in his suit is broken because his speech is coming out garbled and incoherent: "Gsdnnsdsdn."

So they ignore him.

Fran speaks up next, "Uh, if I may have everyone's attention?" she asks. "Shiro - ah, Kuro and I were in the Medbay and I was going through some of our old files. It seems like two people doctored their scans from when we first set off." she says, holding out the file she carried in. "Nobody signed off on their scans so I don't know who it is but…" she shudders. "Two of us here are definitely not human. They're just impostors."

Takumi looks at his crewmates nervously. "W-Well then there's only one solution for that, right?" he says, trying to smile confidently. "We just scan again and sign off this time. Helmets off too so no one can claim that someone else's scan is theirs."

"The nerd makes a good point." Takahashi says, undoing the latch on his cyan helmet and pulling it off. "Everyone, add a Medbay scan to your list of tasks if it's not there already." he says. "We'll continue as usual so long as you extras can stay alive." Takahashi says. When nobody moves, he scoffs and adds: "That's an order, dumbasses."

Everyone grumbles some form of acknowledgement and one by one, they go around the table and remove their helmets.

Seizo takes off his blue helmet.

Ichiro takes off his orange helmet.

Takumi takes off his black helmet.

Koko takes off her red helmet.

Mari takes off her brown helmet.

Kuro takes off his white helmet.

Clara takes off her yellow helmet.

Hiiro takes off his pink helmet (and apologizes for his broken mic).

Fran takes off her green helmet.

And Sonoda takes off his lime helmet.

"Alright. Now get out of here and start on your tasks." Takahashi orders. "Don't let anything stop you. I expect you to get your work done even if you're dead."


Fran is about to swipe her card in Admin when she hears the door close. She looks up, seeing who she assumes to be one of the impostors standing there. Fran sighs, "I figured one of them had to be you." she says.

"I-" the Impostor looks at her, offended. "Why the f*ck would you think that?"

"You've only been hanging around the newest crewmates," she points out. "Ichiro and Clara. You never once spoke to the Captain alone. I wonder why that is?" Fran asks rhetorically and takes a seat in front of one of the green diagnostics screens. She picks up her cat, Isis, and places her on her lap. "Because the Captain knows all of us like the back of his hand." Fran answers. "If he ever got you alone, well, you wouldn't be here right now."

The Impostor rolls their eyes. "I know." they say. "And I wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't gone through the files." they say sassily. "I don't have a choice here."

"Can you at least spare Isis?" Fran asks, holding up her cat.

"Fine."

"Thank you." Fran puts Isis down. "If you're found out, tell Koko I want her and Evelyn to have Isis before they get rid of you, okay?"

The Impostor doesn't respond.

In the next second, all Fran sees is the Impostor opening their mouth and a pointed tongue flying at her. She feels it impale her face and is in excruciating pain for a moment - and then she feels nothing.


Clara is an unhappy camper.

She's just trying to complete all her tasks but Sonoda keeps following her around and rambling on about some business he wants to open with her as a secretary. She knows for a fact that he hasn't even started on his tasks but yet here he is, talking her damn ear off.

Clara perks up when she sees a brown-clad blur in her peripheral vision. The person under that uniform is also a bane to her existence but she's a million times better than Sonoda. Sometimes.

"Mari!" Clara calls.

There's an exaggerated sigh before Mari backtracks back into Clara and Sonoda's view. "What?" she asks.

"A-Are you done with all your tasks?" Clara asks, glancing behind her to see Sonoda impatiently tapping his foot.

"I only have one more and then I'm done." Mari says and flips her hair over her shoulder. "Then I'm going to go hang out with Taka. I'm sure he's almost done too."

"I'll go with you!" Clara says immediately. "I think we're headed the same way anyways."

"You're going to Admin?"

"Yup!"

Mari narrows her eyes at Clara, looking between her and Sonoda. After a minute, she sighs and rolls her eyes. "Whatever." she says and continues walking.

Sonoda gasps and puts his hand on his chest, "Um, we were having a conversation." he reminds her.

"Yeah we'll finish it later." Clara says dismissively and chases after Mari.

The walk to Admin is silent and Clara mentally thanks Mari for passing by.

I think I'll go and see if I can find Seizo or Ichiro when we're done in Admin. Either one of them would be a million times better to do tasks than with Sonoda or Mari-

"Why is the door closed?"

Mari's voice pulls Clara out of her thoughts. Like Mari said, the door to Admin is closed. "Just open it-" Clara says, pressing the keypad beside the doorway.

It doesn't open and the little display above the keypad displays ERROR in big bold red letters.

"Oh hell no, I'm not ready to find another body-"

"D-Don't say that!" Clara says and starts repeatedly pressing the confirmation key. "It's probably just malfunctioning. Nobody's dead." she says and moves to start banging on the door. "Hello!? Is anyone in there!?"

Both Clara and Mari freeze when they hear the distinct sound of a metal grate rattling inside Admin.

"It's probably just malfunctioning, she said. Nobody's dead, she said." Mari mumbles under her breath.

A second later, the door opens.

The color drains from both of the girl's faces. Clara drops to her knees, staring at the mutilated body of Fran. "No...not again…" she chokes out, tears filling her eyes.

Mari grits her teeth and pulls out her PDA, switching the display from her tasks to the device's announcements function. "Ahem," Mari clears her throat, her voice resounding throughout the entire ship. "Everyone, report to the cafeteria. A body has been discovered."


Koko's heart drops when she sees the tenth person to return to the cafeteria isn't Fran. She slumps against the cafeteria table they're surrounding, tears already falling from her eyes. "Th-The body was F-Fran's…" Koko says, covering her face with her hands. "What am I gonna tell E-Eve…?"

Clara shakes her head solemnly, clenching her fist. "At the very least I can vouch for Mari and I." she says. "Whoever killed Fran was still in there, we heard them exit through the vent." she explains.

"And I can vouch for dye job here." Mari says. "As much as I'd like it to be her, it's not her."

"H-Hey!"

"And lime suit over here is innocent too. The door was locked and there's no vents connecting to Admin where we left him." Mari continues, ignoring Clara.

Sonoda raises his hand slightly, "I have a name-"

"I don't care."

"W-We eat lunch together everyday-"

"Moving on;" Mari says. "Yellow, Lime, and I are innocent and the body was found in Admin."

"The only thing you losers are innocent of is killing Fran." Kuro points out, crossing his arms. "Either one of you could be the second impostor." he says and smirks. "For all we know, the dye job twins could both be the impostors. I say we get rid of the ginger first, no one will miss her."

Before an angry Mari can reply, Takahashi steps in. "I hate to say it but Kuro has a point, Mari. You three are only innocent of killing Fran." he says, making Mari huff and cross her arms. "But for now, you have alibis. I was by myself in O2 so I don't have one. What about everyone else?"

Seizo speaks up first. "Ichi and I were together in Weapons. We heard someone in O2 so I guess you do have an alibi." he says, putting an arm around his cowering cousin. "The three of us are good."

"Er, Koko was showing me how to do the thing with the numbers in the Reactor." Takumi says and gently pats Koko's head, the former nodding in between her sobs. "We're good too."

"I was filling up the tank in the Lower Engine." Kuro says. "By myself, unlike you pussies."

"I was on my way to Shields from Navigation when Mari made the announcement." Hiiro says. "By myself." he adds, shooting Kuro a look (to which the aforementioned evil personality responds to by flipping him off).

After another minute of discussion, the crew decides there's not enough evidence to point the finger at anybody so they vote to continue as they are.

(Koko also asks about Fran's cat, Isis, but Mari and Clara report that Isis wasn't inside Admin with Fran.)

They split off once again, leaving Koko, Hiiro, and Takumi in the cafeteria.

Hiiro shuffles awkwardly, standing beside Koko. "I'm sorry for your loss." he says, patting Koko on the shoulder. "Uh...I'm going to Electrical." he says, nods at Takumi, and heads down the southern hallway.

Takumi opens his mouth to speak but his nose starts tickling and he sneezes very loudly. He groans, massaging the bridge of his nose. "Ouch. Sorry, I haven't sneezed since we've been in here, I don't know where that came from. God that hurt…" he whines. He looks at Koko when she suddenly goes still and silent. "Koko? Is everything alright?" he asks.

"I know who one of the Impostors is."


A/N Not to be taken srs at all pls

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