Author's Note: This is something new to me! Characters may be a little OOC, so I apologize for that. Also, this story is pretty sad. Don't read it if you can't read that. He is heart-broken after all and it is not going to be an easy journey. Anyway, I hope you like the first chapter! It is the prologue!
Review, or don't, up to you.
Percy sighed, running a hand in his hair. It had been almost six months now and he was no closer to moving on than he was as soon as her breath went cold and her body went limp in his arms. He knew he should move on, but he couldn't. At this point though, it wasn't exactly about Annabeth. It was about that ache in his heart still wanting someone else.
As much as he was loathed to admit, he was scared. Yes, he, the hero of Olympus, was scared of love. If only Aphrodite could see him now. He was not so much scared of love, he craved it, but he was scared he would just lose it again. A never-ending loop of heartbreak, never breaking free.
Will it ever end? Will I ever be free from what they call destiny?
He wished Annabeth hadn't left him like that. He wished he had been the one to die instead, she would have been able to move on. She could join Artemis's hunters like she almost did before she met Percy.
Percy never really got to know the goddess, but he supposed she wasn't exactly terrible. She was on the list who didn't try to kill him, which is the way to become a demigod's best friend. Percy couldn't help but laugh at his joke, but before long, the laughter subsided.
He lashed back on the cool grass of the camp, right near the lake, and looked around. This is where Annabeth and he had that underwater kiss, he remembered it well. He remembers the campers carrying them over to the water and throwing them in. Percy had just played along, but he hadn't exactly been complaining about the ending results either.
I wish nothing more than to go back. To rewind the clock and stop the tock.
The moon's reflections hammered in the water and were yet another thing Percy had never looked at closely before. He tried to determine the color of the moon but found it impossible. It was like a pearly white, but also a shade of grey.
It was pretty, especially with the beautiful water. The way they blended together but yet, stayed separate. An image that could be painted over a million different ways.
His eyes drifted over to the temples, where the gods' statues stood bravely. He couldn't help but feel a little resent towards them. If he had been mortal, maybe none of this would have happened. That same loop, that same pattern, returned once more. Live, love, die. But one step does not have to be completed to move towards the other now, does it?
A pattern you wished, where one step needed the next or stayed in one forever. Not this.
His eyes then wandered over to look at the dining hall, where he could still hear campers singing. He would go join them in a bit, maybe sing a few songs before turning in for the night. Yet another pattern. Wake up, go to bed. This one may not be as important, but it was still a pattern. One that was hard to break, as of the fact a demigod needs their sleep.
"With great power, comes great need to take a nap." The quote came back to him as he remembered the dark-haired demigod it came from. Now that Percy listened a little closer, he could hear him too, laughing. Percy guessed he was with his boyfriend, it was one of the only ways Nico laughed nowadays. Percy was glad he found happiness as if the fact it was kind of his fault he lost it in the first place.
The guilt never goes away, does it? It only grows with each punch, with each hit.
Percy got up and walked over to the lake, his hands in his blue sweatshirt, lost in the soft fabric. Sally had gotten it for him when he last visited. It had become kind of a tradition for him to get a blue sweater from her every year and they never knew why. It was just one of those things. Look, another pattern.
He touched his hand to the water and felt the familiar sensation that came with it. It traveled up his arm gently until it reached his forehead. The cool water was a blessing upon his forehead as he sighed in content. At least he would always have a home in the water. It came with his birthright, the water, but it still felt as if the water had chosen him.
We can find comfort in the smallest things, but the pain never exactly leaves.
Now he could see so much more than the moon in the water's reflection. So many things. He could see the dancing lights as the fireflies passed by his ears. He shivered slightly as he felt it, but just like that, it was gone.
He turned and watched the fireflies continue to dance along the waters, barely different from the stars, except the faint way it was moving. Though the stars were moving to, you could suppose, if you counted the ripples and how the world moved, taking the stars with it.
Percy had never felt this way before, taken this much notice into the world. The wild that it brought with it. He never knew why he never stopped to admire this, looking back. He supposed he did know though, he was simply too busy. Busy with life, the burdens that came with it.
It feels strange, to not know where to go. You wish you knew what it would take.
He looked closer at the moon now, closer at its shades. Just mere moments ago, he had decided he didn't know the color of it. But now, he was starting to see a new color form, the one he did not wish to see. A stormy grey, the color of her eyes. What was once a comfort, now only brought pain. Pain that he didn't get to see the true grey, especially right in front of him.
He shook the thought from his head. He had to stop thinking like this! She was gone. She wasn't going to be coming back! But yet he found himself getting no closer. Hadn't he just said that moments ago?
Yet another lop of time, another pattern he's stuck in. Like a spider weaving, its trap, drawing you close until snap! You're trapped. Then the spider will do it again, for another pretty. But each time, it's still Percy, Percy, Percy.
The spider's trap, the forever loop, no breaking free. Please, save me.
Percy urged the water to return to the lake and it obeyed. Instantly, he missed it, but he had received just enough comfort to keep going. He got up once more, his hands returning yet again to his pockets as he walked back up the hill. He took the long way, going past the temples, tracing his fingers across the engravings of scenes or just the ridges added for show.
He paused at each temple, searching his memory for something. Sometimes, it was easier. Walking by the Aphrodite cabin he thought of Piper and her dagger. He hoped she was doing alright. He walked by the Apollo temple and thought of Will Solace. The Hades temple he thought of Nico. The Zeus temple he thought of Thalia and her brother.
This went on. The Hermes temple he thought of the Stolls. The Nemesis cabin, Ethan. And the Athena cabin… he thought of Annabeth. He regretted coming to the temples now and slipped back into the night, a single tear hitting the dark soil.
When everything reminds me of you, I can't help but want to run. Run away.
That night, if you were at dinner, you would have never suspected anything different from Percy. He told his normal bad jokes, sang (it was hard to believe he was related to the Sirens), and laughed. You never would see the slight trudge in his walk.
Percy went back to his cabin that night, just like he did every night. He collapsed against the familiar bed and his head sunk into the pillow. He regretted he ever let her go on that quest and he especially regretted the fact he had been too slow.
Too slow to see her running. Too slow to see that monster behind him. Too slow to see the dagger fall. Too slow to see him pushed out of the way. Too slow to see that dagger hit a target.
I whispered a few words that night, though I knew you'd never hear.
I'm sorry, but I can't move on. I can't break the loop.
But you heard those words. You smiled sadly towards where I slept. You said I was wrong.