68Chapter 6: Going, Going, Goan!
Massaging his temples, Magolor continued to struggle with strategizing. Kirby was no slouch, he knew, but there had to be something he could do. Some weakness to exploit or something like that.
"Oh brother, what am I gonna do?" Magolor huffed in frustration. "I feel like I'm going through fog trying to come up with ideas!" Deciding to take a break from brainstorming, Magolor got up from his table and decided to take a walk, or rather a float to clear his mind.
"Perhaps a bit of spying will get me something I can use," Magolor figured. Going to his ship's camera room, he decided to send a camera drone to perform some espionage.
"I'll be sure to crack your secrets one way or another, Kirby!" Magolor promised as he went to work observing the footage.
"POYO!" Kirby happily said as he watched Ben work to help hone his girlfriend's new abilities. As of now, Big Chill was helping Julie with her cryokinetic abilities with some assistance from Gwen.
"It's not that bad, is it?" Big Chill asked as he released another frosty wave to a training dummy they had set up.
"No? It's just weird, you know?" Julie admitted as she tried to conjure ice in her palm. While it did manage to freeze into a snowball, her powers flickered, causing it to develop icy spikes before melting like it was thrown into an oven. "And it doesn't help that neither if you seem to have an idea as to what makes my powers tick."
"I think part of the problem is we don't know what kind of power you have. It could be something like magic, and something out of your control," Gwen pondered.
"I thought magic didn't exist, according to Uncle Frank," Big Chill commented.
"He's wrong. We've seen magic before: the Charms of Bezel, Hex, Charmcaster. There's no way they can be aliens at all," Gwen countered.
"That's true. Still, it's possible for her to have some measure of alien ancestry. We didn't know we were part alien, so why couldn't she be in the same boat?" Big Chill mused.
"Not really an untrue statement to point out. I'm also trying to understand what Verdona was talking about. Remember? The word she asked Julie?" Gwen continued.
"Yeah. 'Jambastion'. I don't think that's a planet at all. I checked with Kevin earlier, and he says Verdona's question was the first he heard of it," Big Chill wondered.
"I've been looking into that too. I've been checking my tomes for information if Jambastion could be something magical, but I've got nothing," Gwen pointed out. Their musings were interrupted when Kirby began to scream.
"POYO!" Kirby frantically began to run around as Julie's hands caught fire and the tennis player began hurling fire balls at random, some nearly hitting the pink puffball.
"Hold on!" Big Chill quickly flew over and blew cold air onto Julie's hands. In a few moments, her hands were soaked in cold water, but she had stopped attacking them. Still, Kirby's face was frozen in fear.
"Kirby! I'm sorry!" Julie cried as she ran to her son. Seeing his mother back to normal, though, Kirby's innocence took hold and he happily hugged his mother. Almost on cue, though, Kirby's stomach began to rumble.
Hearing this, Big Chill turned back to normal. "I guess it's time, then. Off to Mr. Smoothie's?"
"Ben, can I say something?" Julie asked as she wrung the water from her wrist. "I...I don't really like smoothies."
"You don't?" Ben asked. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? We went on that date to Mr. Smoothy because I thought you liked them."
"I know. But that was after your Grandpa died, so I thought you'd prefer if you spent some time in a place you liked," Julie replied.
"Julie..." Ben could only say, touched. "Thank you for that, but next time, we go to where you prefer as an exchange?"
"I'll take you up on that offer. How about a trip to Ms. Milkshake?" Julie giggled.
"Huh. You know what? Why not today? My treat for the first day of practicing your powers," Ben decided.
"Poyo?" Kirby asked, never hearing of a milkshake.
"Don't worry, Kirby. You're going to love them. Probably as much as smoothies," Julie answered. As the Star Warrior and tennis player walked, Ben and Gwen quickly followed.
"I'm proud of you, Ben. That's why you shouldn't worry too much if you're good for her. You took her feelings into account," Gwen proudly said.
"I'm just doing what I think is right. If she doesn't like smoothies, that's okay," Ben replied.
Unbeknownst to all parties, a familiar drone had watched everything that had happened.
"OH COME ON!" Magolor screamed in frustration. "Now the other girl's got powers, too?!"
"Magolor! What is going on?" The voice of Nightmare suddenly rang out on the intercom.
Biting the bullet, Magolor sighed. "It appears that the girlfriend of the Omnitrix wield has gained powers of her own. Power over fire and ice."
"What?! Impossible!" Nightmare's voice echoed. "How could she have...that influx of mana around the place called Bellwood. Only one race can cause such a drastic shift in the flow of mana."
"An Anodite," Magolor said, following his master's realization. "Somehow, an Anodite must have unlocked that girl's powers. Now we'll have to keep a closer eye on her, too!"
"Are you certain you can handle this? Marx has been rather eager to come to visit Earth, you know," Nightmare offered.
"Be stuck with that chaotic, giggling, lunatic? I'm not licked yet. All I have to do is find a weakness of Kirby and exploit it," Magolor answered.
"Very well. Continue on what you were doing," Nightmare conceded before leaving.
Ms. Milkshake and Mr. Smoothy were company rivals since their founding. Ms. Milkshake had a similar logo to Mr. Smoothie, but instead of a smoothie cup, it was a milkshake glass with a female face on the glass, complete with lipstick and eyelashes. Her whipped cream was done in a manner similar to a bun, the milkshake itself was a creamy banana-vanilla, and her attire consisted simply of white gloves and red high heels. While Julie bought herself a peanut butter/Neapolitan milkshake, Ben got himself a more fruity strawberry/blueberry/raspberry milkshake. Kirby, fitting for his first milkshakes, was given two plain vanilla milkshakes to go. However, since pink puffballs with suction breathe weren't a common sight on Earth, Kirby remained in Julie's backpack.
"You don't seem to enjoy them too much. You know we could have gone to Burger Shack, right?" Julie asked as she sipped the milkshake.
"Yeah. Milkshakes always make me feel a bit stuffed. A smoothie does cool, but it feels a bit less heavy on the gut, y'know. Besides, you put up with smoothies last time, so it's only fair I do the same," Ben answered as he finished his shake. "Besides, I know it won't be a problem for Kirby."
"Yeah, true. I know he's a growing boy, but I'm jealous that he hardly seems to have any problem with weight. I have to stay on a pretty strict diet to keep my strength, while he can just enjoy massive amounts of food with little problem," Julie responded.
"So, I'm just curious. Have you told your dad about your powers yet? Maybe he might know something?" Ben wondered.
"No. I haven't even told him that we're dating, or that we've adopted Kirby. At this point, he just thinks Kirby's a plush toy that you won for me that day," Julie replied.
"Speaking of Kirby, you mentioned that he hasn't got a problem with weight. Where do you think the food goes, or anything he inhales?" Ben asked.
"For all I know, he could send it to another dimension," Julie shrugged.
As the two left, they seized the opportunity to give Kirby his drinks. In a few seconds, the cups of milkshake were empty, and Kirby looked like the happiest guy in the world. Little moments like this really made the informal family feel like they would be together forever. At least until Kirby's rumbly tummy interrupted the musings.
"Seriously?" Ben said as he held his head in his palms. "What would it take to completely fill you? An entire farm?"
"Maybe," Julie jokingly answered, unaware that someone had watched the whole thing.
"Aha!" Magolor figured as he saw Kirby's hunger. "That appetite needs satiating! If I stuff him up, he'll be like a balloon of food, prime for popping." As Magolor praised himself, he decided to make a call. "Let me get him on the air and make my request." Pulling up another screen, he made a call to one of the most important members of Nightmare's inner circle. Their monster services needed promotion, and when one needs promotion, they need a salesman. As such, he may never have been in the same room as them, but the NME Sales Guy was one of the most powerful figures in the entire faction. Looking at the screen, it seemed that he was in the middle of a meeting, given the phone in his hand. He had a large chin, purple hair with green stripes, and a pair of black-framed, orange-lensed sunglasses. He also dressed with a navy blue suit and a lavender tie, only seen from the chest up.
"Yes, I know your Highness, you need more Domestic Servant Robots to cater to your needs, and rest assured, they'll be in stock soon. If you can spare a few more days, then I'll even throw in some extra Monsieur Goans as compensation for your wait. Goodbye, your majesty," the Sales Guy replied. Noticing the screen in front of him, he quickly put down the phone and began addressing Magolor. "OH! How can I help you, big M?"
"The funny thing is that you were just talking about what I needed. I assume Master Nightmare told you about the situation on Earth, correct?" Magolor began.
"Yes indeed. The prophesied Star Warrior has just awoken ahead of schedule, and I know it's got Nightmare rather rattled up," The salesman responded.
"Yeah. I'm going to need a Monsieur Goan for my plan," Magolor explained.
"Are you sure? Monsieur Goans are usually servants that we give to paying customers when they have an appetite for fine cuisine, not fiery conquest!" NME Sales Guy wondered.
"Yes, I am. The Star Warrior's a growing boy, and needs his nutrients. But you know how too much of a good thing is bad, right?" Magolor said.
"Oh-ho! Now I see where you're going with this. I'll send a Monsieur Goan right now. And since this plan seems to need exquisite cuisine, I'll also throw in Fryclops to sweeten things up!" The NME Sales Guy said.
At the teleporter activated, two monsters appeared. The first one looked like a potato dressed in a French chef's outfit, which had red and white stripes on it and came complete with a light blue tie. He wore purple shoes, lavender gloves, as well as sunglasses. Finally, he had a toque, yellow eyebrows, and a yellow mustache. The second one was very humanoid in appearance. He was well-dressed in a red Chinese chef's outfit with black linings and yellow Chinese writing. The monstrous chef wore an apron, orange shoes, and a red-and-green-striped hat with black lining and a yellow pompom. He had a single eye on his face, as well as a brown mustache and a single tooth in his mouth, and he had swirly cheeks. They were the monsters that would be the key ingredients to Kirby's final fate.
"Monsieur Goan. Fryclops. Just the monsters the customer ordered!" Magolor smiled under his robes.
"So, what exactly do you need us for?" the Chinese chef asked in a rather high-pitched voice.
"I'm going to need your culinary skills for this little operation I have planned. Your finest, most aromatic meals are going to be key," Magolor explained. "Monsieur, I'm going to need you to set up a restaurant with your skills. I'll ask Nightmare for some help on the dimensions, but can you handle being the head chef of the restaurant?"
"Oui," Monsiuer Goan replied, light reflecting off his sunglasses.
"I take it you're a satisfied employee?" The Sales Guy asked.
"Oh, I am. And I have a special monster in mind once Kirby's gotten enough in his tummy," Magolor said evilly.
"Then when it's time, give me a call and I'll send him straight to ya!" The Sales Guy replied before breaking into his own evil laugh.
Kirby had been having a somewhat mixed day. Mommy had been working to deal with her own abilities and had nearly scorched him in the process. That certainly hadn't been pleasant for him. However, Mommy and Daddy had brought him to a new place called Ms. Milkshake, and Kirby absolutely loved the two drinks he got. They were sweet like the smoothies daddy loved, but the creaminess reminded him of delicious ice cream. However, that still hadn't been enough to sate him, and once again, Daddy had to leave for home, leaving him to be carried by Mommy to her home. It was nothing special, but the blue house still felt rather cozy. Since she had told her father he was a plush toy, Kirby could sleep in Mommy's bed without any problems, and she was incredibly tender to him; snuggling him close to her head so he could hug her while feeling the air from a nearby window.
"Poyo?" Kirby wondered that night as a delicious smell tickled his nostrils. It wasn't like a sweet-scent, but there was undeniably something delectable in the air. Taking a chance, he opened the window and followed the scent. Going for quite a distance, Kirby was rather confused, but nothing could get between him and a delicious meal. Deciding to open the window and escape, he ran through the dark of the night. While a problem for Mommy and Daddy, Kirby had no issue running through the darkness. Eventually, the smell's source was revealed: a strange star-like piece of the night sky. When Kirby neared the star, he was sucked in like a vacuum.
"Perfect!" Magolor smiled as his portal brought Kirby to the restaurant he and Nightmare made. It wasn't too fancy to scare Kirby, but there was definitely a sense of refinement, with the red velvet cushions for seats, the mahogany tables, and the numerous Earth paintings like Mona Lisa and Starry Night. It was what one would think of when the words "fancy" and "restaurant" were separated by a single space.
"Poyo?" Kirby asked. At once, Magolor took to his role as host.
"Ah! Good evening, good sir! Welcome to Goan's Gourmet Grub Hub! I'm the host of this fine establishment, Magolor! The food may be common, but they are delightfully delectable!" Magolor said as he bowed respectfully. "Since you seem to be rather young, tell ya what! The food's on the house!"
"POYO!" Kirby answered joyfully. Running to an empty table, he seated himself on the soft chairs. Picking up a menu, he looked at the options and felt he had attained Heaven: so many meals that all looked incredibly tantalizing. Not a single one looked icky to his adventurous palette. Pointing to an appetizer, main course, and desert, he made his order.
"Of course, sir! Right away!" Magolor happily said. While he watched the fish swim in the in-house aquarium, Kirby wondered how the food would taste. Not that he would have to wait long since Magolor quickly arrived with an appetizer of pigs in a blanket. The sausages and bread meal tickling his nostrils, Kirby's eyes sparkled with tantalization, absolutely enamored. Picking up the fork, he did as Mommy taught him, poking the sausages and then eating them instead of simply sucking them up.
"I see your mother raised you well. How would you like to have Monsieur Goan's special?" Hearing that, Kirby's eyes lit up like fireworks. "I'll take that as a yes. Monsieur Goan! Get your special ready for our special guest!" As Magolor quickly left, Kirby continued to enjoy his pigs in a blanket. The savory taste left him absolutely enamored, and he couldn't help but crave even more. More was soon delivered in the form of a nice hot plate of spaghetti and meatballs. Kirby had never seen such a succulent dish: the stringy noodles that felt wonderful as he slurped them into his stomach, the chewy meatballs with a massive payload of umami flavor, and the vodka sauce with its richness.
"Did you like those? They're packed with a special ingredient not from this planet. Now how's about we finish this fine meal with a delightful dessert?" Magolor chuckled. "I know you're going to love this!"
"Poyo!" Kirby eagerly cried out. Placed on a fine platter was a scrumptious-looking piece of strawberry shortcake. The sweet aromas wafted forth, and Kirby couldn't help but drool at the pieces of strawberry smushed into whipped cream layers. Alongside that for a drink was a delectable watermelon smoothie, the sweetness emanating deeply.
"For you, my good sir!" Fryclops announced as he served desert. At this, Kirby couldn't help himself, and began to slice the shortcake and then tear into it with great gusto. After the cake was done, Kirby began slurping down the smoothie, savoring the melony goodness.
"I see you enjoyed our meal! Well, I hope that we'll see you again soon! If you come tomorrow, the meal will be free again!" Magolor smiled. Seeing Kirby wave goodbye with a happy smile, Magolor's voice lowered as he spoke to himself. "I know you'll come very soon. Especially since we added a little something to the vodka sauce." Chuckling, Magolor gazed at a test tube containing a lavender-colored chemical, a label on it reading "Pufferzine."
The next day, Ben and the gang were dealing with a pair of strange robots. These were similar to samurai armor, especially since their heads were akin to kabutos. Their bodies were incredibly bulky and humanoid, and they were clad in blue and grey armor. While Julie, Kirby, Meta Knight, and his students focused on one robot, Kevin, Gwen, and Ben focused on the other.
"AAGH!" Kevin cried after a finger laser hit him in the shoulder.
"You okay?" Ben asked in concern.
Seeing the stone flake away like a dried face mask, Kevin commented, "Been better. How about you guys?"
"Could be a lot worse, but we're doin' alright," Sword Knight said with some effort. Julie had been able to summon a water wall and freeze it to protect herself. The robot attacking her attempted to break the ice, but it proved a difficult task, since she had been constantly working to keep it together. Any time the robot's fist would break into the wall, she would simply release the resulting shrapnel to litter it with cuts before she would then fill the holes with water and refreeze them. However, she find herself growing tired and sloppy In the meanwhile, Meta Knight harassed the robot by teleporting behind it and slashing into where its spine would be.
At the same time, Ben was trying to get the Omnitrix to work while Gwen continuously dodged the onslaught of lasers with mana platforms.
"What is that thing?" Ben asked.
"A Techadon. Kind of a robot mercenary, and commonly used across the intergalactic underworld. You want someone dealt with quickly and anonymously? You send a Techadon," Kevin answered.
"Yeah, and it's doing a good job dealing with us!" Gwen noted. That momentary distraction, however, was all that was needed. Firing lasers from all its right fingers, it shattered the platform Gwen stood on. Landing on the ground as gracefully as possible, she noted, "We're in trouble. Ben, how long before you can change?"
"Just need a few more seconds!" Ben said as he fiddled with the Omnitrix.
"I'll see what I can do!" Gwen declared as she quickly surrounded their Techadon in a hexagonal box of mana. The Techadon was briefly confused, but then quickly punched one wall, shattering it. At this, Gwen grunted in stress. "Ben!" Quickly reshaping it into a quadrilateral box, she tried to keep it trapped.
At the same time, Julie Kirby and the others were having quite a bit of difficulty. Her ice wall was shattered by a five finger laser onslaught, and she was reverting to dodging with her tennis skills, though instead of aiming for a ball, she was aiming away from lasers. At this, Sword and Blade Knight came up with an idea.
"Oy, Julie! Gimme a charge o' lightnin'! Our blades can get a boost from elemental powers!" Blade Knight requested.
"Actually, me too! Just gimme some ice!" Sword Knight asked in turn.
"Umm, okay?" Julie answered with some puzzlement. Acquiescing to their request, she formed ice in one palm and electricity in another. At this, she sent them at the two apprentice Star Warriors. At this, they held their swords to the incoming elemental attacks and upon them striking the blades, their swords changed: Sword Knight's blade seemed to become a serrated sword made of ice itself, while Blade Knight's sword took on the form of a thunderbolt-like sword. Each of them had elemental properties that fit with each blade, as cold mist constantly exuded from Sword Knight's new sword, while electricity constantly crackled around Blade Knight's thunder sword.
"Alright! Let's show this Techadon what for, Blade!" Sword Knight declared as he slashed the robot's right hand. Not only was the hand cleaved off cleanly, but it also left the stump frozen in a block of ice.
"Ya read my mind, Sword!" Blade Knight agreed as he leapt to the Techadon's left leg. Stabbing his sword into the upper thigh, he pulled it through, causing electricity to crackle through the entire body and temporarily stunning it.
In that time, Kirby decided to take the initiative and attempt to inhale the laser shooting hand. However, he strangely began to feel an intense pain in his stomach just before he began to inhale, and he ended up crying in pain, clutching his stomach while tears leaked from his eyes. At this, Julie ran to Kirby, concern etched on her face. "KIRBY! Are you alright?!"
"P-p-poyo..." Kirby sadly answered his mother's frightened query. While the Techadon did manage to recover, it didn't have long to last, as Meta Knight quickly gathered energy in Galaxia, and with a single slice, sent a crescent-shaped energy projectile that cleaved through the Techadon like butter. The energy began to spread through the Techadon, and in a flurry of explosions, it was reduced to nothing but scrap metal.
"It is rather impolite to barge in on a mother comforting her child," Meta Knight mused. Looking to his right, he saw the fight the main members had.
After Gwen's box failed, Kevin decided to buy time another way. Reabsorbing more stone, he quickly started pummeling the Techadon, knocking it off balance briefly. However, the Techadon recovered and grabbed Kevin, and soon began to squeeze the young Osmosian hybrid.
"Get off of him!" Gwen ordered, sending a wave of mana forward. However, this acted as more of a blade, cleanly slicing off the hand holding Kevin. At this, sparks flew out of the stump on it, and the maedate glowed red.
"Finally! I think I have an idea of what to do!" Ben finally said as the Omnitrix finally reactivated.
"Oh joy. The suspense is killing me," Kevin sarcastic replied.
At this, Ben slammed down the Omnitrix, and began turning into what ultimately looked like nothing more than a humanoid blob of lime-green slime. A strange ufo-like device hovered above its "head", and the Omnitrix symbol lay on his chest.
"GOOP!" The blob announced in a very high-pitched voice.
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Codon Stream Entry: Goop
Species: Polymorph
Home World: Viscosia
The Polymorph race is a race that is easy to underestimate. Resembling nothing but blobs of slime, they have remarkable aptitude due to their unique physiology. For all intents and purposes, Polymorphs are nothing more than supersized single-celled organisms, similar to amoeboids, particularly in their "body parts" being pseudopods. Their bodies are, as a result, colloidal in nature, shifting between liquid and solid. Thanks to this, they are capable of stretching and reforming themselves any way they choose, and they can change their own properties, becoming adhesive or acidic at will, and can even launch streams of slime at enemies. This helps in their scavenging diet, trapping weakened organisms and then absorbing organic matter. Additionally, with Viscosia being a planet filled with lava streams and a constantly shifting landscape, they have high resistance to temperature. However, because of Viscosia being a planet with almost no gravity, Polymorphs use Anti-Gravity Projectors to help them move on other worlds and even fly at high speeds for short times, and these devices are also equipped with razor sharp edges.
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"EW!" Gwen and Kevin groaned simultaneously.
"You know this is cool!" Goop replied. Flying towards the Techadon, the green blob was slapped by the Techadon's remaining hand, splitting it in half. While Gwen and the others looked in shock, Meta Knight was undisturbed, knowing the power of Polymorphs. Reforming like it was nothing, Goop complained, "HEY!"
"Let us be off. Something is wrong with Kirby," Meta Knight suggested. Hearing this, Julie's maternal instincts reactivated, and she quickly carried Kirby to Kevin's car, the three knights in pursuit.
All the while the Techadon had been relentless. After Goop reformed, it slammed him into the ground, only for the projector to quickly pull him between the gaps in the Techadon's fingers. Backing up in response, the Techadon decided to fall back to ranged attacks. Firing finger lasers at the flying blob, they had no effect as any holes in the Polymorph quickly reformed. Its palm, though, was a different story.
From outside the house, Julie and the others could see a flash of red light followed by a massive explosion. They soon saw Kevin landing alongside the severed hand of the Techadon, Gwen attempting to cushion herself with a mana platform, and Goop landing in a puddle. At this, the remaining Techadon jumped outside, and it seemed to recognize that it was the projector that guided Goop, so it proceed to slap it away. As a result, Goop collapsed in a puddle while the projector bounced and clanked into Kevin's car. Seeing the downed opponents, the Techadon began attempting a self-repair, the beginnings of a new hand were readied. "Oh, that's not gonna happen!" Goop's voice declared from the projector. Quickly gathering up the rest of his body, Goop flew into the opening of the Techadon's hand, and soon began to expand. Soon, the Techadon began to inflate like a metallic balloon, bits of Goop leaking through the cracks. Eventually, it became too much for it too handle, and it exploded, causing bits of Goop to rain everywhere.
"Ben, get off of us!" Gwen instructed as she looked at herself covered in goo.
"SORRY!" Goop sheepishly replied.
Noting a piece on his car, Kevin snarled, "You oughta be!"
After gathering up the rest of his body, Goop turned back to Ben. "It was kinda cool. Like the old days!"
"Just one thing before we go," Meta Knight mused. At this, Galaxia was plunged into the Techadon's hand, turning it into nothing more than alien scrap.
"Kirby? I've never seen you struggle with sucking. Is something wrong?" Ben asked in concern.
"Poyo..." Kirby sadly answered, equally as baffled as he was sad.
"I suppose everything's ready?" Magolor asked. Now that Kirby had his first dose, it wouldn't be long for his next fix of Pufferzine-laced vodka sauce.
"Oui," replied Monsiuer Goan, his sunglasses shimmering as he readied for the next meal.
Seeing Kirby come, Magalor quickly put on his polite act. "Ah! Hello sir! I see you came back for us, didn't you?"
"POYO!" Kirby said joyfully, jumping a bit.
"Well. Like I said, good sir, this meal's free as well!" Same as last time, the first meal was pigs in a blanket. Just as juicy as ever, Kirby enjoyed them whole-heartedly. It helped take his mind off his previous failures. However, that wasn't what he looked forward to. It was the spaghetti and meatballs, and that delectable vodka sauce. Once it was there, Kirby couldn't help but be satisfied with one. It was so good he requested another. "Of course! More spaghetti for our valued customer!" Another plate of freshly made spaghetti was there. At this, Kirby continued to slurp it up, savoring the spaghetti as it slithered through his gullet. It felt good to go through that meal, and there was still one more meal left. The sweet strawberry shortcake was the delicious dessert he was now craving. When it came, sparkles shone in Kirby's eyes. "I thank you for your patronage. Once again, your next meal will be free because you're such a valued customer!" Kirby, innocent as always, saw nothing wrong with this, and certainly didn't see the spark around his eyes.
After Kirby left, Magolor went inside the office and got in contact with the NME salesman on the screen.
"Magolor! Buddy old pal! What's cooking?" The NME salesman greeted.
"I'm cooking up victory! Kirby's getting hooked on Pufferzine, and he's getting more addicted by the day!" Magolor answered happily.
"Excellent work, Big M! In a matter of days, we'll fatten up Kirby to be prime for squashing!" The NME Salesman concurred. At this, the two servants laughed at the juicy outlook.
The next few days, the pattern continued. Every day, Kirby seemed to be a bit less healthy, gasping and even feeling heavier to carry. The first time, he struggled to inhale a chunk of ice Julie made, having to walk to it and attempt to swallow. However, for whatever reason, his body just felt like throwing up upon having that, and he ended up spitting it out.
"Kirby? You okay? You seem to be having trouble with that ice chunk," Julie asked in concern for her adoptive son.
"Poyo..." Kirby muttered sadly.
"It's okay, we all have our bad days," Julie reassured him.
This continued, and Julie began to notice that Kirby distinctively seemed quite a bit heavier. The second day, it took more strain to lift him up onto her back, and it felt like lugging a sack of potatoes compared to the nearly weightless blob he was beforehand. Then, he had to be walked home, panting and wheezing all the while. Soon, he became more like a heavy immobile blob, still capable of slight motion, but no longer able to float like he used to.
"Something's up with Kirby, and I have a feeling it has to do with why he's feeling a lot heavier than usual and more tired," Ben wondered after he thought about the fight against the Techadons," Ben told Julie.
"What do you mean?" Julie asked in confusion.
"I mean that something's up with him. How much have you given him?" Ben explained.
"Not a lot. Just a couple extra helpings to the meals dad makes," Julie explained. "I haven't told him about my powers just yet, but I get the feeling he suspects something."
"Yeah, but do you think that Kirby may be sneaking out and having some grub to go?" Ben wondered.
"Maybe. Let me talk to him tonight. Maybe I can get him to bring the meals he's sneaking out to get," Julie offered. At this, Ben left Julie's house. Getting into her shorts and tank top for the night, she decided to talk to Kirby before going to bed.
"Poyo?" Kirby asked, confused why his mommy was up late at night.
"I know you've been sneaking out to get some meal from somewhere else. Tonight, I want you to bring it to us. I think you should know that as a general rule of thumb, don't take something given to you by a stranger," Julie taught Kirby.
"Poyo?" Kirby wondered if he could have a nibble.
"No nibbles. I want the whole meal with us," Julie instructed. Hearing this, Kirby went off into the night, Julie eventually losing sight of her son. "Please be okay, Kirby."
When Kirby arrived at the restaurant this night, he was a little sad, but he heard what mommy told him, and he knew it would be best to listen. So with great sadness, he went to the restaurant.
"Hello...sir? Is something wrong?" Magolor asked in some concern.
"Poyo," Kirby answered.
"You're not feeling that peckish today? You feel like something's wrong with the meal?" Magolor continued asking. Had Kirby bothered, he would have noticed the sweat forming on Magolor's brow, not that would have known what it meant.
"Poyo," Kirby nodded.
"I see. You want to enjoy the comfort of him, don't you?" Magolor asked, slight strain in his voice. Seeing Kirby nod, Magolor decided to appease him, feeling it'd be more suspicious if he refused. Reluctantly, he boxed the meal and gave it to Kirby. When the Star Warrior left though, Magolor ran, for lack of a better term, to the back where he could contact the NME salesman.
"Hey Big M! What's shakin'?" The salesman blissfully asked.
"We've been found out! He won't be eating here anymore, and they'll find our Pufferzine in no time!" Magolor revealed.
"Well, that's a problem, but we've still gotten more than enough Pufferzine in Kirby over the past few days to make him prime rib for what I got in mind. I promise you're going to love this!" The NME salesman replied. Activating the teleporter inside, the shadow of the monster loomed over Magolor, but the cat-like creature wasn't intimidated in the slightest.
"Ooh! Maggy likey!"
"Poyo," Kirby said with unusual melancholy in his voice as he arrived home that night. Julie and Ben had rather unhappy looks, like a parent catching their child with their hand in the cookie jar. Handing the boxed meal to them, he was given a small rub on his head from Julie.
"Good boy, Kirby. I know it's difficult, but I promise once this is all done, we'll bring you to Mr. Smoothie's or Ms. Milkshake. It's your choice. Okay?" Julie said to comfort her son.
"Poyo!" Kirby happily answered. It seemed that food was still just as much of a joy-bringer as ever.
"So what now?" Julie asked.
"I think I'm going to do some tests. Perhaps I can get some help elsewhere," Ben answered.
Quickly turning on the Omnitrix, he found the form he needed. "JETRAY!" As the Aerophibian picked up the meal, he quickly gave an instruction to Julie. "If something happens to Kirby, let me know the second it does." At this, Jetray took off.
"Kevin? Meta Knight? I'm glad you're here. I wanted to ask if you could examine these," Ben said as he showed the meals Kirby gave.
"Pigs in a blanket? Spaghetti and meatballs? Strawberry shortcake? I know parenting makes one pretty nervous about themselves, but I never thought it'd make you neurotic," Kevin joked.
"Not really. Kirby told me and Julie he's been sneaking out every night the past few days to get this exact meal. For free each time!" Ben explained. "I smell a nasty rat, and I want to know what it is."
With that, Meta Knight and Kevin took samples from each meal and began submitting them to a variety of tests. While nothing seemed to occur for some time, Meta Knight gasped as he held up a test tube.
"Look at this!" Everyone looked at the tube, which had bits of vodka sauce as precipitate in a lavender solution. "Pufferzine!"
"Pufferzine? What's that?" Ben asked, looking at the alien expert.
"Don't look at me. First time I've heard of that," Kevin said equally baffled.
"A nasty chemical concocted by Nightmare Enterprises. This chemical directly affects the hypothalamus, adipose cells, and adrenal glands of an organism. As a result, their satiety decreases and leaves them in constant cravings of more Pufferzine-laced meals no matter how much they eat. However, it also affects the metabolic rate of fat breakdown, making it near impossible for calories within the body to be burned, resulting in them being converted into fat. Finally, they stimulate the release of large amounts of dopamine, leaving its victims hopelessly addicted," Meta Knight revealed.
"Why would Nightmare concoct something like this?" Ben asked. "I don't think they thought that ahead to making a perfect weapon against Kirby."
"They didn't. It was meant for organisms that primarily gained their powers from consumption, like the Oryctini and the Gourmands. In fact, an attempt to conquer the Gourmand race with this resulted in the Gourmands needing to evacuate Peptos III," Meta Knight revealed.
"So that's where the rumor of the Bloating Buffet came from," Kevin wondered.
"Huh?" Ben asked in confusion.
"I dealt with a few Gourmand customers, and it's an old rumor that their third home first received a massive buffet of delicacies, with a strange triangular logo on the box it came in. But the Gourmands that did indulge in it became bloated and irritable, resulting in a partially civil war. Seeing that the planet would fall into chaos, the king ordered an evacuation of his people, and so they decided to abandon the planet and move onto the next one," Kevin explained.
"Okay?" Ben said. "That doesn't matter. What does is that they've been stuffing Kirby, and who knows what they're going to do next?" Ben asked in worry. Almost on reply, his cellphone rang. "Hello? Yeah, okay, I-WHAT?! A giant snake and two chefs? Alright, I'm on my way." Hanging up, Ben quickly straightened up. "We gotta go. Kirby's being attacked and he's getting overwhelmed!"
Hearing the signal, Kevin and Meta Knight quickly got in Kevin's car as Ben hopped in, turning it on and going full speed ahead.
A Few Minutes Earlier
Julie and Kirby were having yet another practice session with the former's powers. This time, she decided to practice with a sinkhole trap. Concentrating her earth-related powers, she began to form cracks in the ground, and while she tried to control the spread, the hole ground collapsed like a house of cards.
"UGH! Still not good enough! I know Ben and the others are trying, but I don't think I can do it! I can't control it too well!" Julie noted.
"Well, it sssseemsss you're not trying hard enough!" A strange voice hissed. That was when Julie looked behind them and saw what looked like yet another one of Nightmare's monsters. It was an extremely muscular limbed snake. His body was a large sphere with arms and a tail at the end and he wore a pair of red sunglasses and a tight red muscle shirt. His underbelly was bright green and his snout was light-brown. He had the number eight tattooed on both his biceps and the top of his head, and had a crimson marking running across his back. At his side were none other than Fryclops and Monsieur Goan.
"Who are you supposed to be?! We've never seen monsters of Nightmare talk!" Julie noted.
"Call me Red Viper, sssweetie, and I'm here to take the life of the Sssstar Warrior!" Red Viper announced, dashing towards Kirby with the speed of a bullet. At this, he began to pummel the helpless infant, and it became like watching a car accident in slow motion: horrific to look at, but impossible to turn away from.
"Kirby!" Julie cried out in worry. Readying flames around her arms, she heard the sound of an electric mixer. Behind her, Julie saw a much bigger version of Monsieur Goan, sans his tie, and with the addition of 2 pairs of arms. Each arm had a cooking utensil in it: there was the aforementioned electric mixer, a butcher's cleaver, a rolling pin, a spatula, a ladle, and a meat tenderizer.
"After I'm done with you Kirby, I think I'll have Monsieur Goan and Fryclops cook your mother and enjoy her as a delectable ssssnack!" Red Viper taunted. Indeed, the two chefs readied their utensils, as Fryclops summoned a ladle and wok.
"Take this!" Fryclops declared, sending a wave of hot cooking oil at Julie. At this, the tennis player quickly summoned a wall of frost, cooling the oil but melting the wall. It wasn't like she had much time to breathe, because Monsieur Goan went on the attack as well, using his multiple arms to assault her with a bevy of slices and smacks. While she was able to summon fire to blast the now hot potato away, it still left her vulnerable to Fryclops, who seized the opportunity to try and squish under a series of giant plates. Julie shielded herself in a wind barrier, blowing the plates away. "Goan, maybe instead of cooking her, why don't we try making her into sorbet? You've done Pyronite ones before!"
"Oui!" At this, Julie found herself shrunken and put into what looked like a glass ball. Inside the ball was a large amount of shaved ice, and cold winds blew everywhere inside it.
"Get away from her!" Ben ordered as he slammed the Omnitrix. In his place soon stood a strange plant-like humanoid. Green and black plant matter made up most of his body, with small red petals growing out of his shoulders. His feet were replaced with rocks that were tied up by roots, and his head seemed themed after an open flame while having an entirely black face like rotting wood. The Omnitrix symbol was on his chest.
"SWAMPFIRE!" he declared.
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Codon Stream Entry: Swampfire
Species: Methanosian
Home World: Methanos
A swampy planet toxic to most life forms, underground deposits of methane often result in deadly flame geysers, rendering the planet incredibly humid, hot, and dangerously toxic. The species that evolved here use this to their advantage, most notably the Methanosians. Evolving from carnivorous plants and slowly gaining sentience, they eventually became the dominant race of the planet. With their ability to produce methane and generate heat, they are capable of limited pyrokinesis, and are also masters of using plants in combat, creating vines out of seeds and controlling other plants to do their bidding. However, they are most famous for their regenerative powers, reattaching severed limbs and sealing holes within their bodies in seconds, and can similarly alter their bodies to create tentacles and whips out of vines.
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"Yeah! What Swampfire said" Kevin declared as he absorbed stone.
"You? You really think you will ssssstop me. Look at your hope, and ssssssee it fade away," Red Viper taunted as he continued wailing on Kirby. The poor puffball whined in pain, igniting anger in Ben, not helped when he saw Julie being made into sorbet.
"Get away from my friends you slithering sneak!" Swampfire declared as he reached into his body. Pulling out some mud, he quickly threw it into the serpent's eyes. While it didn't blind him, it did still disorient him enough for Ben to run to Kirby. "Hopefully, we can do something about the Pufferzine. Kirby won't be able to help much as long as he's got that in his system. Kevin, hold em' off! Meta Knight and I will see what we can do!" Swampfire instructed.
"With pleasure!" Kevin declared, running to the oversized python. At this, he landed a strong hit into Red Viper's jaw, sending the snake off-center. This didn't do much to deter it, though, and Kevin soon ended up getting punched up the chest, shattering parts of his stone armor.
"Perhaps we can make him cough it up. As soon as the sauce gets out of his system, he should hopefully be okay," Meta Knight explained. Beginning to pump Kirby's stomach, the two began the process of trying to give a Heimlich to a circular organism.
"Come on, Kirby! Just need a good belch out of you!" Swampfire gently instructed. Trying to pump what was his chest while Meta Knight held him up, Swampfire found that an improvised Heimlich wouldn't work.
"It won't work. Try burping him!" Meta Knight advised. Hearing this, Swampfire picked up the rather heavy Kirby and leaned him over his shoulder.
"C-can you g-g-guys hurry up! I think I c-c-can feel the c-c-cold seeping into my b-b-b-bones!" Julie chattered inside the sorbet sphere.
"Come on, Kirby. Just one belch is all we need," Swampfire pleaded as he hit Kirby's back.
"Yeah, and preferably soon!" Kevin agreed as he found himself overwhelmed by Red Viper's strength.
"Come on, Kirby. You can do it!" Swampfire encouraged as he continued hitting Kirby. Thankfully, he got results soon enough. Kirby let out a mighty belch and spat out the offending vodka sauce. At this, Swampfire noted Kirby was a lot lighter, and the pink puffball jumped off the Methanosian.
"Poyo! Poyo!" Kirby joyfully said as he felt the bloating leave his body.
"Alright! Sounds like you're back to normal. But why don't we test that?" Swampfire happily said. Looking at Red Viper holding Kevin in a vice-like grip while Fryclops readied to cook the young Osmosian, he pointed to the latter. "Kirby, get sucking!"
"Poyo!" At this, Kirby ran forward and like before he began having vodka sauce, his vacuum breath began to do its work, knocking Fryclops off-kilter and leaving him to drop his wok. At this, Kirby sucked it up and began a new transformation.
Cook Kirby Transformation
Once Kirby swallowed, Kirby found himself surrounded by a number of glowing food items: shrimp, chicken wings, onigiri, paella, pudding, shortcake, ice cream, and other such foodstuff surrounded him. As they all glowed white, they coalesced into a giant glowing ball of light, and from the light came a black frying pan and chef's hat, the former of which dropped onto Kirby's head and rendering him dizzy briefly before he picked it up with his right hand. Holding the pan while crossing his arms, the chef's hat landed atop him.
"Whoa! Another new transformation?" Swampfire wondered.
"Yes. A bizarre yet still powerful one. Cook Kirby!" Meta Knight explained. At this, Kirby set his pan aflame as if trying to prepare a flambé. At this, he smacked Fryclops with the flaming pan, sending the portly chef flying. Seeing his mother stuck in the sorbet sphere, though, he came up with a devilish idea. Quickly preparing a meal, he swiftly managed to get the food into Monsieur Goan's mouth.
"Trop chaud[1]!" Monsieur Goan cried in pain, and he even began breathing fire out of his mouth!
"What did he do?" Swampfire wondered.
"Amazing! He managed to make the legendary Toxic Atomic Curry! Or just, the Superspicy Curry!" Meta Knight mused. As the flames out of Monsieur Goan raged on, they had in the inadvertent effect of warming up Julie, who seized the opportunity to quickly to break her containment, returning her to normal size.
"Oh. Mon dieu[2]," Monsieur Goan mused, seeing the look of fury on Julie's face. Indeed, he soon found himself on the receiving end of his frosty tricks. Julie released a gale of powerful wind that began to chill his bones, and while he tried to reach Julie, he found himself constrained by vines Swampfire had generated from seeds he threw.
"Yeah. Not gonna happen!" Swampfire declared, summoning fire in his palms and throwing them at the potato-like chef. At this, the chef became reduced to ash after screaming in pain.
In the meanwhile, Meta Knight managed to graze Red Viper with Galaxia, causing him to release Kevin. At this, Fryclops tried to attack Kevin once again, but found his ladle blocked by Meta Knight. "Get back here, you! I'll turn you into Osmosian fritters by the time Red Viper's done with Kirby!"
"No one makes me into a meal, you creepy, cycloptic, cook!" Kevin retorted as he charged into the two of them, punching Fryclops in the mouth, leaving him to wince in pain. At this, Meta Knight seized the opportunity to finish off Fryclops. Similar to how he dealt with the Techadon, he gathered energy in Glaxia and released a powerful sword beam. Fryclops screamed in agony as he was cleaved in half, the two halves exploding away.
"Sssso you think just because you have a frying pan, you think you're a match for me?" Red Viper asked Kirby. Seeing Kirby take on a determined expression, he roared and retorted, "How utterly sssstupid of you! A measly cook cannot compare to-GHACK!" Red Viper's taunts were interrupted when Kirby sent a strong kick into his tail, knocking him off balance. Afterwards, he did a somersaulting bicycle kick that launched Red Viper into the air. At this, Meta Knight decided to makes things easier by teleporting into the sky and slashing his sword done, sending him downwards. Kirby jumped up to intercept him, kicking him thrice in quick succession and sending him flying in the air. Seeing what happened, the rest of the gang chimed in. Kevin grabbed the flying reptile and slammed him into the ground. Kirby jumped in yet again by first doing a spinning corkscrew kick and then following on the ground with a spinning split kick. With little time to spare, Julie made the ground under crumble into nothingness with her geokinesis. At this, Swampfire jumped in, releasing a large amount of methane gas into the hole. Striking himself like a match, he set his finger on fire and dipped it into the gas. A massive explosion ensued. By the time it was done, Red Viper had smoke everywhere on his body.
"N-no more..." He weakly pleaded. Kirby was having none of it. Slamming his frying pan and a ladle together, he turned the hole in the ground into a giant cooking pot and filled it with boiling soup. At this, he began to stir the pot while humming a strangely familiar tune (one he would have certainly danced to in other circumstances), all while Red Viper screamed in pain. Every now and again, Kirby would also sprinkle in some salt. By the time it was done, everything stopped and out of the pot came a bunch of plates with fried cobra came out.
Seeing this, all Kevin could note was, "Remind me never to get on Kirby's bad side."
"Kirby! Are you alright?" Julie immediately asked in concern.
"Poyo! Poyo!" Kirby joyfully replied, his old personality and energy returned.
"Well, that's good to see. It looks that we've succesfully purged the Pufferzine from Kirby's system. He shouldn't be gaining weight so unnaturally any more," Meta Knight mused.
"So, I'm betting you're pretty famished Kirby. I'm not really in the mood for fried snake, so why don't we go to Burger Shack? My treat," Ben offered.
"Poyo!" Kirby answered, happy that mommy and daddy would be together again.
"Alright, I'll admit it. Kirby, Ben, and Julie are actually really cute like this," Kevin figured.
"Indeed. That strong bond will help Kirby all through his life. A strong beginning like this will make Kirby stronger for when it's time to confront Nightmare," Meta Knight answered.
As the five of them drove off, no one noticed Magolor hastily picking up the plates of fried cobra. "Oh no. No no no no no! Nightmare's going to be so mad at me!"
"You failed, Magolor. I will credit you for attempting to make a decent plan and exploit the Star Warrior's flaws, but your execution was lackluster," Nightmare chided.
"I know sir. I am so sorry about all this sir, and I promise I'll make a better plan!" Magolor said apologetically.
"Y'know. I really don't think you should bother. Just send me! I can do anything, and I'll be sure to end all their games!" a rather high-pitched voice began.
"Oh no. Not you," Magolor sighed in frustration. On another screen was one of Nightmare's other servants, and easily one of the most unhinged. He didn't look like much: I a small jester with no legs, arms or hands. He wore brown shoes with small light brown dashes going across them that look like shoelaces. His skin was lavender with two big expressive dark purple eyes, and his hat was divided into two colors with different shapes on each side: red with white triangles on the left side and blue with white circles on the right. Marx also wore a red bow tie under his mouth, which had a fixed smile and two small fangs that were only visible when his mouth widened.
"Oh yes. Marx has been rather excited to meet Kirby. If you keep failing, I may decide to put him in charge if you keep failing me! Since this is the first warning, you get a freebie. But do not fail me too many times!" Nightmare warned Magolor. At this, Marx broke into unhinged laughter, ecstatic at the deal. Laughter that echoed through the rest of the Lor Starcutter.
"So you'd better keep on your toes and destroy Kirby and his new friends! If you don't, I will. And that'll make me Nightmare's favorite!" Marx taunted.
"Oh don't be so sure about that," Magolor declared in response. "This is only the beginning, and I haven't even begun to play!"
Voice Cast:
Magolor - Clancy Brown
Kirby - Makiko Ohmoto
Big Chill - Dee Bradley Baker
Julie - Vyvan Pham
Gwen Tennyson - Ashley Johnson
Ben Tennyson - Yuri Lowenthal
Nightmare - Andrew Rannells
NME Sales Guy - Dan Green
Monsieur Goan - Dee Bradley Baker
Fryclops - Eric Stuart
Meta Knight - Eric Stuart
Kevin Levin - Greg Cipes
Sword Knight- Eric Stuart
Blade Knight - Eric Stuart
Goop - Dee Bradley Baker
Jetray - Dee Bradley Baker
Red Viper - Ian James Corlett
Swampfire - Dee Bradley Baker
Marx - Kevin Michael Richardson
French Translations:
[1] "Too hot"
[2] "My god"
Author's Note:
Yep. Another chapter now.
I know I said that the NME salesman wouldn't be revealed until the season 1 finale, but this was too good an opportunity for him not to appear. And yeah, I finally gave Kirby a power not directly linking to combat in the form of Cook Kirby, and I also incorporated aspects of the Chef class from Miitopia, Sanji from One Piece, and Kirby's moveset in Super Smash Bros. Until I introduce Chef Kawasaki, though, don't expect Cook Kirby to appear too often. Plus, the appearance of everyone's favorite destructive jester that isn't Jevil or Dimentio: MARX! Yeah, I was always thinking that Marx would be voiced by one of the Jokers, but I feel that Kevin Michael Richardson's take had the traits that made him the most maniacal and unhinged: his constant shifting from baritone to a more high pitched voice gave more the insanity I felt was fitting. As for Red Viper, yes he was voiceless in canon, but I felt that giving the monsters more personality would be nice, and I felt Ian James Corlett had the experience of voicing serpent men as Skales and Snake Man.
Also, I did take the fact that Julie didn't like smoothies here as well, but decided to at least make it less egregious. Omniverse seemed to do whatever it could to break up Julie and Ben, and that felt wrong on several levels. If they didn't like the pairing of Benlie, fine; at least do it in a way that doesn't feel completely contrived. But I digress.
Next Time: Wellbred Woods
When another raid against the Highbreed finishes, Dr. Moro seizes the opportunity to seize a DNA sample of the Highbreed. Deciding to mix it with the DNA of Dreamland's defender of the forest Whispy Woods, he unleashes a powerful monstrosity and sends it to attack Kirby and company. Can Kirby and the others defeat the arboreal enemy or will Nightmare Enterprises leave them as fertilizer?