Iron Pyrite

A/N: Here we go, taking a shot with Hipper; admittedly, she's not one I'm super comfortable with. So I am going to use this to really stretch myself and try to make something worth of her.

Part One – Only Fools…

I kick over the bin in my greenhouse, he was always so infuriating! Taking the side of my sea cow of a sister like that! How stupid could he possibly be? I mean seriously, she's using her tits to get her way, like she always does… doesn't anyone see that she has her own agenda?

I look down and sigh at the sight of the trash all over the floor and that in my irritation I had knocked over one of my flowers with the bin. Pinching the bridge of my nose I get down on the floor and start to clean up the mess I made, just as I get everything cleared away I can hear laughter coming down the hall, I know that voice too well, my 'little' sister Eugen. I groan to myself, doubly so when I hear the voice of my other 'little' sister Mainz… why oh, why did I get stuck with a lack of torpedo bulges?

I wait for Eugen to barge in, as she does with any room she wants to get into, but I'm a little surprised when I hear them continue down the hall and I'm thankful for the bit of quiet this gets me. Picking up the spray bottle I go around giving little spritzes to the flowers and plants I have in here as I say to myself out loud, "It's not that I hate the Kommandant or that I hate my sisters… they just get under my skin."

I turn my attention to a pink flower I'd been cultivating as I say to it, "I mean, it just bothers me that I'm the eldest and everyone thinks I'm the youngest, just because I'm not as… well… you know."

I look down at my bust or lack of noticeable bust, sure I'm bigger than some destroyers and subs, but almost every other cruiser, aircraft carrier, and battleship outclass me in this department. I rub the back of my head and sigh in frustration before putting the bottle down and leaving my garden to find some dinner, I had heard the mess hall was having Schweinshaxe and beer as the special today, perhaps today won't be a total wash.

Once I get there, get my tray, and slide along the food line, I can see that glorious hunk of bone-in pork, beautifully roasted. I'm glad I see most of the kansen that are ahead of me pass right by it, but there are only two left. I look up the line and I can see my sister Eugen, she sees me looking and winks at me. Oh no… no, no, no! I get a little closer and see that there is only one left now and Eugen is getting closer, please god, please don't… I hate you. Eugen takes the last one… damn that sea cow. I don't have any choice I take the bratwurst, but at least I still get my beer.

I just sit down and go to take a sip when I hear his voice as he puts a hand over my drink and teases me, "No drinking for underage ships."

Are you fucking kidding me!?

I pull my stein away from his hand a little too hard and spill some of it on me… after a moment I pop my bratwurst in my mouth, look at the Kommandant, and debate shoving what is left on my tray against his chest. My hand seems to move of its own will and I watch almost like it is a movie in slow motion as the tray moves up and into his face and the words leave my lips, "Ja wirklich? Dann genieße das auch, Dummkopf!"

I don't have much choice other than to stop off, fuming. Damn it, that was my dinner but like hell I'm going to apologize for this.



I slam the door to my shared flat with Eugen and go off to my room, pulling off my uniform to look at myself, I don't think I'm not pretty, at least I think I am pretty, then again pretty much every kansen is pretty. And I bet that blockheaded Kommandant loves every second of having most of the kansen throwing themselves at him. I look at my chest and sigh, I'm small enough that I can go without a bra and not have any issues, not like my sister, I have to listen to her whine about a sore back at the end of the day when she goes without one… that's a problem I'd gladly take. I hate it when I get mistaken for an underage kansen.

Speaking of kansen and age, doesn't he understand that even the youngest of us is closing on a hundred? I mean even the Royal Navy's Swiftsure is north of eighty… Hell, some of the destroyers are over a hundred now… I sigh, age of our hulls have nothing to do with the age of the kansen bodies we have…

I cross over to my bed and take out a magazine I have stuffed between my mattress and box spring, looking at the human girls in there; I can see that a lot of them have slim bodies like mine, so maybe it's not so unusual?

I flop down on my back on my bed and keep flipping through the magazine; the clothes are so pretty and yet so impractical, especially for one such as me. A knock on my door makes me jump and stuff the magazine back into the hiding place I have for it as I call out, "What?"

My sister opens my door and saunters in, her arms folded under her bust, making them look bigger than they were as she teases, "The Kommandant is mad…"

I roll my green eyes as I say back, "Like I care what that idiot feels or thinks."

Eugen sits on the edge of my bed as she says to me, "You know Hipper, we all have to work with each other…"

My eyebrow twitches and I snipe at her, "We both know you do your best work on your back or your knees."

Eugen pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs, "So what if I use sex to get what I want? For someone that has a garden, I would think you would understand you can catch more flies with honey rather than vinegar."

I roll onto my side, I don't want to look at Eugen right now, I knew she was right… But I'll be damned if I let her know that. I sigh, "What do you want Eugen?"

The next thing I know I feel her pressing herself against me as she tells me, "I just wanted to check on my smaller sister, to see if she was okay…"

Rage, utter rage, there she goes, teasing me again. I know she does it because she can, but damn if it doesn't piss me off. I make an annoyed noise as I tell her, "Well I'm fine."

I feel her hands grope my bust and she asks, "Did you get bigger?"

Oh goddamn it!

"At least I'm not at the risk of getting overweight with mine!" I snipe back at her.

Eugen lets go of me and laughs as I hear her leave my room and she calls back, "I'm glad you're feeling okay."

I sit up, grabbing one of my pillows to toss at her as I say, "If you were really concerned about you, you wouldn't've had that last Schweinshaxe!"

Eugen sticks her head back into my room, a smirk on her lips as she says before shutting the door, "But that is such a grown-up dish, not suitable for someone with your… figure."

"Du bist so eine Schlampe!" I yell at her in our native tongue as my pillow hits the closed door and slides down to my floor.

With a heavy sigh I roll off my bed and pick up my pillow tossing back onto my bed and tossing on some sleepwear, I had an early shift in the commander center tomorrow, might as well be ready for an early day.



I grabbed a quick shower, got ready for the day, and just as I left the flat I have to step over Eugen who was passed out in the middle of the floor in the living room, a few bottles of beer around her. I sigh to myself and collect those up, go to her room, and grab a blanket and a pillow. I slip the pillow under her head, careful to not wake her as I do so, and cover her with the blanket before I head out.

On my way past the mess hall, I grab a cheese danish and coffee to go so that I'll be there before the thorn in my side. Sipping my coffee I start to look over the reports from overnight, my job here was to go over all of the raw data before sending it along to the secretary who would then pass it along to the Kommandant. Flipping to the second page, I don't see anything really pressing or important enough to flag for his attention.

As I get to the third page I just about choke on my coffee, when out of the corner of my eye I see him tall, dark hair, gorgeous blue eyes… I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit he is attractive, maybe it is a lack of options around the base. Everything is great right up until…

"Hipper, that coffee will stunt your growth…" he says with a smirk.

Yeah, yeah, let's make fun of the fact that I'm shorter than either of my sisters and smaller than either of them too, but why do you have to be such a dick about it? I put my coffee down and step up to him, sticking out my chest and slightly cursing myself for the layers of my uniform that tend to hide what little I do have…

I'm really trying to keep my cool and yet I can't… I hit him in the chest with the stack of reports and spit back with maybe a bit too much of a snarky tone to my voice, "Then I'd love to see a Dummkopf like you parse all of this in the next hour."

Once he takes the stack of papers I go and sit on the edge of the strategic plotting table and sip my coffee and take in the surprised look on his face and I add, "Well, I'm waiting Dummkopf."

He takes a step forward and extends the papers as he says, "Come on Hipper, this is all in good fun…"

I cross my legs and look off to the side as I tell him, "That is a matter of perspective."

He sighs and takes the papers with him, I watch him go out of the corner of my eye as I whisper under my breath, "Jerk."

I look up at the clock and sigh, most of the day had gone away and I didn't have those reports back yet. I sigh and make my way up to his office, once I get up there I see one of the Eagle Union girls sitting there, typing away on her phone so I call out, "Hey, is the idiot in there?"

She looks up at me with her reddish-pink eyes and I grimace as I see she's another sea cow, tilting her head to the side she said to me, "Commander Doe is in, but he's swamped… the kansen that was meant to filter the reports didn't do her job…"

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose before I cross the room and fling his door open as I call out to him, "Hey! What the hell is taking you so long Dummkopf? I need those reports back!"

I close the door behind me and flick my long blond hair as I continue to stalk towards him, causing him to look up as he shoots back, "Yeah well you'd have them back by now if you had already done your job."

"Done my…!" I holler back at him as I grab the top of the reports and I continue yelling, "If you hadn't shown up early and been such a jerk I would've!"

"Oh so you're saying this is my fault?!" he hollers back at me.

"Damn right!" I yell back and tug on the reports.

He tugs them towards him causing me to go forward and I brace myself and pull again, this time however he lets go, sending me stumbling backward to fall on my stern as he smirks and says, "Fine, you can have them back then."

Pushing myself off of the ground I take the papers and stomp off back to the command center, cursing the entire way.



My day was almost done, and then I could go and relax at the pub, maybe finally get that beer that I got denied yesterday. I just finish signing out of my tablet and put it into the charge station when I look up and see my sister Eugen, her arms crossed under her bust, like normal, but this time she had a note in her left hand. I tilt my head sideways just as she asks, "Are you done yet?"

"Ja, why?" I ask her, still wondering about that note in her hand.

She smiles, oh crap. She only smiles when she has something up her sleeves…

"Gut! You and I are going drinking." She says to me.

I was already planning on doing just that, just on my own… drinking with Eugen never ends well for whoever isn't Eugen. I tilt my head off to the side as I say to her, "I was already planning on that, what's with the note?"

Eugen sighs and informs me, "Herrin Bismarck has made it an order you and I go drinking, she wants us to bury the hatchet."

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose as I say to her, "Eugen, we don't have anything to bury. You're my younger sister and I do a lot to look out for you… and you in turn annoy the hell out of me."

She laughs at me and shrugs before wrapping an arm across my shoulders; I use one hand to push one of her boobs off of me as she teases, "That's my job, to irritate the hell out of my smaller sister."

I roll my green eyes and sigh; I can't turn down a direct order from Herrin Bismarck… so much for a nice night without getting pissed off with Eugen. Looking back to my sister I make a big show of singing out, "Fine. Let me stop by my greenhouse first to water my plants and we can go."

True to her word, she let me stop and tend to my plants before we went off to hit the pub. Once we got there, Eugen grabbed the beer and pretzels, soft chewy ones that were still warm from the oven. Just as I take a bite of mine she says to me, "Thanks by the way."

I raise an eyebrow and she elaborates, "For the blanket and pillow."

Ah, yeah… I did do that this morning. I push the bite off to the side of my mouth as I tell her, "Yeah well, I'd be a crap older sister if I didn't take care of you… but next time, don't drink all my beer, okay?"

She laughs before telling me, "I promise nothing."

Rolling my green eyes I swallow and sigh to myself, as I remind myself of course she won't... I swear if she could turn that nose of hers from finding my beer to hunting sirens the war would be done by the end of the week.

Chasing that bite with a swig of beer, I close my eyes and enjoy the hoppy flavor of this ale. Leaning back against the back of my side of the booth I open my eyes and see my sister has a smirk on her lips as she asks, "So, what is the deal between you and the Kommandant?"

Ugh… that bastard… I look off to the side and flick my hair as I snap at Eugen, "There is no deal, he's a Scheißkerl that lives to be a pain in my ass."

Eugen lifts a hand and laughs while she teases, "Maybe you need a good pain in the ass… sometimes it can feel rather good."

I feel my cheeks get a little hot as I catch the subtext of what she meant by that, no thanks! That's an exhaust port only. Thankfully I can pass off the heating of my cheeks as the beer, it's pretty strong tonight it seems. Eugen leans a little forward and takes on a serious air as she says to me, "You really need to find a way to work with him Hipper; he's our Kommandant."

Rolling my green eyes again and flicking my hair again before I fold my arms across my chest as I say, "I'd be happy to if he can stop being such a dick."

She sighs at me and leans back drinking down her stein and shakes her head with a sigh as she says to me, "It's a two-way street. You don't help matters; I saw what happened in the mess hall yesterday."

I groan at the memory, it was like I wasn't in control of my own body there… Sighing before taking another gulp of my beer I say to her, "Well, he started it."

Eugen starts to laugh as she says, "Sometimes you are worse than a destroyer!"

Rolling my eyes again I take another bite of my pretzel and signal for another round as I tell Eugen, "I refuse to be the one to try and make peace first."

Time seems to vanish as we go through the steins of beer, somewhere around the third I started feeling sleepy and laid my head against the table, letting the black take me. I don't know how long I was like that before I started to feel a little cold and I hear a voice that isn't Eugen's say to me, "So, are you going to tell me why Eugen dumped you on my doorstep now?"

I blink my eyes a couple of times and look around, I can see the golden anchor that is in the center square and it's like I'm moving, but the vantage point is different, and I can feel something warm pressed against my front. Looking down a little I realize that I'm being carried on his back! I feel my cheeks get warm and I demand, "Huh? Did I give you permission to touch me?"

"Oh for… You demanded that I take you home!" he says as he put his arms out and I slip off his back to land on my stern.

He spins around his arms in the air as he hollers at me, "You fell over two steps from my front door and demanded I carry you home!"

I get up off the ground and tug my red skirt down a little and as I go to take a step closer as soon as I get weight on my left ankle I start to go down to the ground and cruse out at the pain "Autsch! Hurensohn!"

To my surprise, he catches me, rather than letting me fall and he asks, "Hipper, are you okay?"

"Of course not you, Dummkopf!" I snap at him.

He helps me over to the edge of the golden anchor and gets me up on the little wall so I can take off my boot to look at my ankle. As it comes free I can see that I'm already swelling down there. Great I must've twisted it at some point tonight.

From beside me, the Kommandant says, "That looks pretty bad, you might want to go and see Vestal."

I roll my eyes and snipe back, "Yeah, just let me walk right over there… oh wait…"

He laughs and gets down on his knees facing away from me and loops his arms on his hips as he says, "Get on."

I sigh and hobble back onto his back, when I'm this close I notice that he smells nice, and that makes my cheeks get hot and I snap at him, "Don't get any ideas…"

He laughs as he carries me to Vestal's clinic and asks, "Are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I ask him as I rest my chin on his shoulder.

"Why Eugen dumped you on my doorstep." He says as he shifts me around on his back.

I make a noise like I'm irritated. I don't remember, but I cover that with, "Why does it matter."

He sighs and tells me, "I was planning on entertaining Bremerton tonight, but I canceled that for this."


"Why the hell would you do that? You don't even like me." I say to him in my normal haughty tone.

He sighs and tells me, "I don't dislike you Hipper, I do find you irritating and I do enjoy pushing your buttons, however."

I sigh to myself as I say to him, "You and everyone else in the port."

He shakes his head as we get closer to the clinic and he says, "From what I know, you're pretty well-liked by most of the girls in the Iron Blood. Eugen is the first to jump to your defense when someone starts to rag on you though."

Huh… didn't expect to hear that Eugen does that... she's usually, the first to tease and taunt me.

I shrug and adjust my hips as they are starting to feel a little stiff from being forced off to the side this much for this long and I say to him, "As much as I fight with Eugen, she's still my little sister."

He nods just as we get to the clinic and tells me, "Family's like that, first to fuck with you and first to defend you."

I laugh and it's an honest one too, gosh it's been a long time since I let one of those out… guess he understands that.

He sets me down in a chair and lets Vestal know that I need my ankle looked at before asking me, "You going to be okay on your own?"

I nod and offer him a little smile as I shrug and say, "I should be… Thanks by the way."

He checks his phone and sighs before telling me, "I'll come by for the reports later tomorrow morning Hipper, to actually give you a chance to go over them."

I nod and lean back in the chair while I wait for Vestal to be read to look me over as I say to him, "Thanks Kommandant… maybe you're not so bad."

He laughs as he goes to leave as he says back to me, "I could say the same to you, good night Hipper."

"Gute Nacht, Kommandant… perhaps you can salvage your night with Bremerton." I respond and watch him leave.

Once he's out of sight I sigh and lean my head against the wall while I think about the fact that he was actually nice to me tonight. I take out my phone and text Eugen, 'What the hell?!'

After a moment I get one back, 'What?'

'Why did you ditch me on the Kommandant?!' I type back to her.

'It was your idea!' she sends back, causing me to blink a few times.

'What do you mean it was my idea?' I ask her.

'You said you wanted to show him you're an adult!' she sends back, following it up quickly with, 'was he a pain in your ass?' along with an eggplant and peach emoji.

I roll my eyes as I tell her, 'I'm in the clinic.'

'You don't go that deep!' she sends back, followed almost immediately with, 'Are you okay though?'

I sigh and send back, 'Nothing happened, apparently, I fell and hurt my ankle, he carried me here… just waiting on Vestal.'

'I'm on my way.' She sends back, making me smile a little… as much as Eugen pisses me off, she's there when I need her.



A/N: Chapter One, done. I hope I managed to get her character down and that you enjoyed chapter one, any comments, questions or concerns are welcomed and I do my best to take them under advisement.

Fun Fact, the KMS Mainz was meant to be a Hipper Hull, just with smaller guns.